warning- long post, be prepared

Im just sitting here thinking that life is going pretty well in general. Im taking my medicine for my bronchitis, so that is presumably getting better. The coughing has definately lessened. Tonight I went out with my family for Indian Food. There's just nothing quite like an Indian Food buffet. The food was good and there was a drum and wind instrument ensemble playing in the background. It was the perfect atmosphere, as the music was not too loud as it would be intrusive, but it was present enough to have good rhythm and fun inspiring. My sister is in town for the weekend, and she wanted to go for Indian food. So far my sister and mother haven't had their usual emotional blow up at each other, so it's all good, perhaps it just won't happen.
In terms of music, I haven't had a bad lesson in quite a while. All year, nothing has even come close to the type of lessons I was having last year. I do believe I have made that shift in practice methods and dedication that David has been looking for and because of it, we are able to concentrate much more on musical rather than technical aspects. David derived a rather odd comment/conclusion at my last lesson, where we only worked on the Mozart. He has decided that I am a wonderful natural Mozart player and Im doing a lot of musical things naturally, BUT- and theres always a but-he's concerned that I don't have reasons for what Im doing, or that Im not aware of those reasons. The goal is to play Mozart beautifully and intelligently. David says that Im playing it beautifully, but theres room for showing more understanding.
It was exciting, we worked on shaping individual shorter phrases, but then shaping those phrases in a grander sense, in comparison to one another, to show their relationships. I guess the exciting part is that we're adding more and more levels to the piece and the performance.
There's less than (I think) 2 weeks until the concerto competition. This is a little worrisome, but I feel good nevertheless. There are just a few little areas that could be a little technically stronger, faster, clearer, but the memory is good. Once again, theres just a few key spots that I have to set in stone in my memory. It made me so happy the other day because my accompanist came up to me and told me that she loves the piece. The piece is not well known (I'll talk about that later) so she'd never heard it before, so it's a major boost of confidence knowing that Im not the only one with such passion for the piece.
K, now we'll use that piece as a segue into another topic. Short version = theres a kick ass competition this year that has a first prize of 10 thousand dollars, and the top three competitors play one concerto movement with the symphony orchestra for the final round. In the details, it says that repertoire choices are based on availability of orchestral scores. I checked, and was not surprised to hear that the scores are not available, and I will not be able to use the piece for the final round. I will not be telling this to David out of spite; he warned me that it wouldn't be a good piece because no orchestras would ever be playing it. I suppose theres some argument for him being right, but phooey on that. I CAN however use the piece for the preliminary CD audition, which I will. If I get to compete as one of the 12 semifinalists, I can use the concerto I did last year.
Next topic is this independant study course. Since the outset, it has been more hassle than I would have liked. Now the only thing thats being a bug is the paperwork, the new Dean decided I needed to be super detailed in my course proposal, so now I have been, and I'll hand it in on monday and all had better be fine. Basically, my prof and I are treating it as a first year composition course. The only difference is that it's going to be done in half the time, and for half the credit, but the same amount of work. All in all, Im super excited. It will result in two compositions, the smaller of which will be a chamber piece for 1-3 instruments... we haven't figured that out yet.
This is the big project: Im doing a voice and piano piece for my friend Jenn. The text is going to be from Mother Goose, making use of all the poems about "old mother.." or "there was an old woman". I plan on using a variety of compositional styles in order to emphasize the different character of each poem. This is going to be a super fun project and will be performed in a noon hour recital later this year.
Lately, I have been not at home much. Since I don't have piano lessons to teach or any real obligations during the week, I'm finding myself spending evenings at the school, following a long line of pianists that have done that in the past around the School of Music. In terms of socializing, I haven't really been. Luckily, Deena is also in the same line of dedicated pianists so we're able to spend time together practicing and hopefully try and motivate each other or whatnot. It's her birthday coming up, so If anyone has suggestions of something to get her (Deena, you can comment annonymously and I won't know its you) it would be very much appreciated.
I hung out with my friend Evan the other night and it was just odd to see how different we both are. We always have been, but ya, it's been a while since I spent any time with him. Basically, right now I am feeling more focused on music and feeling better about it than at any other time in my life. Right now, Evan is realising that he isn't all that passionate about pure mathematics, and furthermore, he is doubting whether the world really has any more need for another abstract mathematician. I think his plan is to get just a job job when he graduates so he can get his head on straight. This is sorta like me working in the factory this summer to reaffirm my love of the non physical-labour world. Only problem is that Evan doesn't have that mindset going in. He's just at a loss, he was so passionate about math when he started... but like he said, it's hard for a 20-something male to be inspired by a life of paper and calculations. Anyway, at the end of this year he'll have a BSc, so he can get a reasonably good job, hopefully though not good enough that he won't go back to school. In all honesty, he could apply at any school he wants, and get in with full scholarships. Damn smart people...
Another topic- Improvisation. Im still really loving it, and I've managed to get another fellow pianist at school, Kate, to start improvising, and it's very promising. Im also still practicing it, and trying to be more organised about it but I discovered that Im really not that special, or even that good at it:
Theres a resource on the net for pianists where you can post recordings of yourself and get comments from other pianists. This guy posted himself improvising a set of classical variations (8 minutes in length). The story= Every year, his undergrad school in brazil has a concert where all the piano majors have to improvise in a style picked from a hat. Every style from latino pop music to a full out fugue is included. He spoke very modestly about it, and raved about how the other people were much better, and that the guy who did the fugue was amazing. I listened to it, and from the way he spoke, I was expecting something not nearly as well put together as what he played. It was not completely beyond my current abilities, but beyond what I've been attempting.
Now I realise that in a lot of Latino cultures, improvisation is much more embraced in all areas of music and life, so it should come more naturally, but it made me realise that I am nowhere near as special as I thought, and made myself out to be in terms of this practice.
The result is that Im going to start pressing harder on my own abilities. I encourage those of you to suggest styles and then make me play them for you. It's a completely different thing when you play for someone, as opposed to randomly playing around alone in a practice room.
Wow, just in writing this portion of the blog, I've gone from being discouraged about improvising to being reinspired, YAY!
Hmm, what else can I take up internet space with? End of term assignments are starting to creep up on me, I should start to be more aware. I've fallen into that trap of being one-track mind, only concerned about the concerto, but I also have a 20'th century group presentation to get started on, I assume theres an Analysis paper coming up, but we're talking about that next class, so that will bring it into reality. Piano rep paper won't be due for a while yet, after the break I think he said. Chamber music performance is the thursday 24th Novermber, so right around the same time as Concerto competition. I really need to get off my ass and fix up those few little spots that need to be tidy. If not, they will make me look bad and technically weak, and I'd prefer that I not be the one to look bad. This Chamber group is a little frustrating because the violinist is not really technically advanced enough, and has had issues making it on time, if at all, to rehearsals. I would be fine with it if he just didn't play all that well, but its the ensemble things that are suffering. Anyways, we'll make sure to have extra rehearsals so that all is well.
Oh ya, back to composition, I'm thinking that's what Im gonna end up doing with my life. This doesn't really mark a huge change in my life, cause Im still doing the performance degree, but provided my comp prof doesnt tell me Im a terrible composer, Im gonna start looking into what I would have to do to get into a Masters Comp degree, aside from doign a comp undergrad. I know that by the end of next year, I won't have a big enough portfolio, but I could take a year or whatnot to work and travel and compose, then it would be good... we'll see. My main passion is still piano and performing so I'll do that as long as I can, but ya, just keeping my doors open.
I've started doing some score reading and looking into composition styles since my meeting on thursday with the prof... two general statements 1) George Crumb is weird ass! just crazy shit, and I couldnt get recordings to match up to the scores, so i was further confused... i don't know if I'll like what I hear...
2) I LOVE ARVO PÄRT! His music is SO gorgeous. We're gonna talk about his style and methods at my next lesson. It makes me want to write really luscious choral music.
Ok, I've written a fair bit tonight, and I think Im gonna go eat a samosa and watch tv.