Yesterday was a long day. Rather than an electro class, I had a meeting with the prof. Basically I have been feeling really negative about the class because it seems to take me an inordinate amount of time to do anything. He as reassuring, as well as two other people I talked to during the day; letting me know that everyone takes excessive time at first. It's amazing how having your feelings validated can change your outlook on a situation. Now that I know it is pretty much a matter of spending more time, even though I knew that all along, I will spend more time more often in the lab. I will go today.
The big event of yesterday was the piano trio reading. They played from the version I had sent a few weeks ago so a lot of the finely detailed things had been fixed since then. However, they gave me some helpful feedback. The common thread between most composers yesterday was a lack of tempo markings and details. The trio questioned my use of 'free' notation - they found it hindering. This was something that I wasn't completely convinced with myself - it is difficult to find the balance of enough detail to give the performer what they need, while not nailing them down to the fine details. While I didn't get a cut in stone answer of how I need to notate it, I now have some good insight into how to approach it.
I wanted to go to the masterclass they were doing today with my piano trio, but I think I slept in too late. I had a very active dream night - it's interesting that my subconscious is so thinly veiled when I do have dreams.
I always dream about daily events. The main dream late this morning/afternoon was me going to the masterclass of my trio and talking to the Fibonacci players afterwards - the dream did not actually involved my trio's players. In my dream, as I talked to the violinist, she commented on how unfortunate it is that our school has such strong performers, but composers who don't even write tempo indications. Can you say Self-Confidence Issues?!? Nevertheless, notice that subconscious Michael wasn't willing to label Western's composers as bad, only pointing out that they don't write tempo indications.
Perhaps this is subconscious Michael trying to cope with the fact that no judgement was shown by the trio yesterday, only constructive criticism. I was probably expecting some subjective judgement, and now I'm trying to read some into it.... But there isn't any, so I will stop.
The moral of the experience with the trio is that I need to be more detailed in my indications. This has been something I've been battling since my very first composition lessons. I need to come to terms with the fact that while I want freedom in music, not everyone has the same definition of freedom, or means of attaining it.
I have spent too much time writing this already. Now I am going to write in some edits for my trio score and then head off to the school and spend the evening making electronic music!