Wow, I've pretty much wasted the long part of this weekend. I don't even know how; I had such good intentions and the apartment to myself. I seem to be less productive when my roommate is out of town. Maybe I should rethink living on my own - having productive people around me is a good influence.
The highlight of this weekend was doing an interview with a composer for a course presentation. She was delightful and very helpful. It was almost like she was too articulate. I was anticipating her taking more time to answer, thus giving me more time to write down the gist of it. It was also that I was asking fairly specific questions. Long story short, it went very well and she affirmed that I was on the right track with how I am looking at/ analyzing her piece.
I asked her also some questions about being a pianist/composer. While I hadn't thought of it before, it appears I was looking for specific ideas, but I didn't get them. We come from very different places I guess. She is an incredibly gifted and accomplished Carnegie hall playing concert pianist in addition to being a talented composer - I am not.

On the 24'th it will be once year since my grad recital. I listened to parts of the recording today. Despite what some may think, it's obvious that I was not in a position to decide between a career as a performing pianist and as a composer. The reality of the situation is that My talent for composition brought itself out at the same time as I was realizing that I didn't have the aptitude for decent piano chops. All of this, I am fine with. The unfortunate thing is that, as much as I claimed that I would give both streams equal focus last year, I did not. Neither got the focus they deserved, and it was especially obvious that piano was not in any shape to be less than 100% of my life's devotion. It was not with fresh ears that I was listening today. I listened objectively and came to that conclusion.

Even with that said, I'm seriously looking into an improvisation workshop this summer that would have me back at the piano. It would also have me in Vancouver, I'm very interested. I'm just trying to find out to what extent it is a jazz improvisation thing. The website isn't completely clear, it could also be applicable to classical, either way, it could be good. I'm also going to apply to some composition focused programs, but I think I've missed most deadlines. Oopsie...