Despite a massive chunk of doing nothing in the middle of the day, today was a fairly successful day. In the morning I finished giving the SightSinging tests and then I went to the electro lab to do some work. I got the necessary samples into the synthesizer for my project. From there I need to play around and figure out how the samples need to be transposed and used so that they relate mumbly. I know what needs to be done, it's just a lot of listening and playing around in order to get things to the point of being usable.

I came home and internetted/napped/ate lunch from 1 - 4pm. Then I went back to the school. Originally I was going to go to school, work and then take a break for dinner. While I left my house at 4:30 for the bus, I didn't get to my bus transfer point until after 5pm... I literally could have walked in 15 minutes, BUT I waited for the bus out of spite. It should have been there right when I got there... Bastard Bus! Pissy, I went to Wendy's for supper and had a frosty, Yum!
Eventually I got to the school. I did got some composing done and then I went to the electro lab again, this time to do the listening assignment for this week. They were long pieces, but I enjoyed them. By that point, I was ready to go home, but then I stopped in the big class/room with piano in Talbot College and I ended up composing for another hour or so. I forced myself to fill in certain gaps before leaving. Basically, the opening dialogue of my piece is well, certainly not finished, but in formation.
The 'dialogue' sections are based on the rhythm and shaping of speech / language. I had marked the rhythm of these sections, but not notes. I had a few of the gestures notated with notes, but today I forced myself to choose notes and gestures. For the first time in the process, I allowed myself to just compose, like my prof had suggested, rather than planning everything and fitting the notes in as result of the plans. Especially for the piano part, it was great to be writing this at the piano.
Speaking of piano - I started relearning a piece that I played for my ARCT examination / undergrad auditions. Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody No. 5 in E minor. It is a great piece and I want to be able to play it again, not just random snippets that I recall vaguely how to play.
I am feeling some of the contrast between how I used to play it and how I am trying to relearn it. I can feel it, it's blatant which areas I never really learned reliably the first time around. Applying some of the practice methods and technical skills I learned over the last few years will make the relearning process efficient and I will be able to play the piece super well with less than major effort. It was the first really big piece I ever played. Huge and Romantic and I played it with a certain passion back then, but I think now I'm a little more mature and wiser, and I think I will be able to do more with the piece this time around.
I'll be honest, I've been toying with the idea of entering a performance competition here. I need to find out some details about it. It wouldn't be much, I would just have to submit a recording of myself for the first round. I could use this piece as the second and third round piece if I even made it that far. Anyway, I'll see what my options are...

Gitch!

Since people have stopped commenting and assumedly reading, I'll write one of those "why the heck would be blog about That?!?" posts.

After I blogged this morning, I realized I should do laundry as I was running out of clean underwear. Then I realized that it's always the underwear I run out of first. I was suddenly hit by the universal truth - why wash if you can buy!?
I kid you not, if I won the lottery, high up on my list of to-do's would be buying new socks and underwear everyday. A brand new pair everyday?!? wow!
Off I went to my favorite underwear store - Giant Tiger!
Needless to say, I now won't have to do laundry for another week!
Although I don't think Laundry Day would be Fiona's idea of fun while she's here for the weekend.

I did a fair bit of planning today for my electro piece... After I teach tomorrow, I will be going to the lab to fiddle around with some of the plans I have. I'm actually really interested to see how my piece will start unfolding. Lately I've been working the wrong way in the lab - using random sound samples merely to do a function that I know the lab can do. What I need to do now is use the tools of the lab to explore what it CAN do that I don't already know about = explore!
I talked on the phone tonight, too much so I wasn't very productive. Focus Mikey, Focus!
Before I go to bed, I will try and input some more of my piano trio score into the computer

Good Night.

I just realized as I was lying in bed before getting up just how busy this end of term is going to be. At first I thought it wouldn't be bad because I only have the electroacoustic piece which is to be performed in class on the last day of term. but then, I realized that both my Piano Trio as well as my Orchestration assignment need to be handed over as soon as I get back from break. This means that the break will be spent making sure all the parts look nice and generally editing the pieces. I'm not even sure if I will have a class/lesson on them before having to hand them in, so basically, I need to have them finished before I leave London for Christmas.
At the same time, maybe I just need to accept the fact that this IS independent work and I shouldn't be latching on to what a prof might say.
The moral of this story is that I am going to get as much work done as possible on my own for everything so that I am prepared for whatever might change along the way.
For electro, we are supposed to have a relatively detailed plan for our pieces by next class - from there it will just be a process of doing the work and processing the sounds and setting things up for the performance. I want to get that done this weekend so that it's out of the way, then during the week, I can actually start to implement some of those plans!

I am very excited for next weekend. My friend Fiona is coming to London to visit. I really haven't been social lately, so her visit will be timely, she is a genuine FunMaster!
I will let the weekend serve as inspiration for me to get as much done this week as possible. My lesson is on the Tuesday right after the weekend, but Fiona is here until Monday evening. I don't want to be a bad/boring host, so I need to make sure that school work won't interfere too much with her visit. There's already going to be a big chunk of lame on Friday because I have class pretty much all day - nevertheless, that means that Electro will be out of the way and I can ignore it until the following tuesday/wednesday.
At the same time, the studio is really cool and I think Fiona would enjoy seeing some of the things you can do with it so maybe I can incorporate some work into that...
Anyway, I don't really have anything planned for her visit because, well, it's me AND its Fi. We're random and planning things would be LAME!

Ok, I've wasted enough of my Sunday morning blogging. It's time to go and do something productive, YAY!

musings at the end of a rather long day

Being at the university for 7am was rather early, but not the worst thing. The sun wasn't even up when I got to the university. It was cool, dark and unpopulated - just how I like it!

I got to play a bit for my choreographer and some of the dancers. It wasn't as inspiring as my initial experiences with the YoungLungs, but they are a very receptive group and things look promising. We're all going to start thinking about possible topics/subjects for the thesis project(long term), but there are going to be some opportunities to work on some smaller project during this year - a good way to get to know each other.

Two of my sight singing classes had their second test today. They did SO much better. Almost too much better. I was a little more lenient this time, but their skills were much better. It's not just a matter of seeing that the numbers are better for their marks, but I could hear the improvement. The students have actually been working and the classes have been going smoother. I'm a happy teacher!

Electroacoustic class was not so hot today. The piece I brought in for my listening example ... the prof labeled it 'compositionally weak'. It's not like I chose it specifically and loved it, I chose it because it was one of the few tracks of a suitable length off of a compilation album. One would assume that a work done by someone who teaches electro composition at a US University would be sound, but I guess not. The piece gave us some stuff to talk about, but I still felt a little down that I didn't make a good selection.
There are only two of us in the class, and it's pretty clear that I am the weaker of the two students. I need to spend much more time in the studio so that I might be able to come close to catching up, but the other guys has more electro experience. It should be encouraging me to do better, but I'm finding it a little frustrating that he always seems to be going that sizable step beyond what I am doing.

I took a nap this evening, but I'm still tired, so I'll go to bed somewhat soon.

I read for pleasure tonight, only 37 pages, but it's a start. I need to increase my reading speed because next term I will have to do a lot of reading for my academic course. Also, I should generally be reading a lot more than I currently am. I should also be listening a lot more and looking at a lot more scores. I should also be composing more. I should do more.

I should also increase the quality of what I am currently doing, rather than simply adding more quantity.

Michael, it's time to step it up.

Fickidy Fuch!
It's 10pm and I'm still not finished filling in the blanks for this composition excerpt. Once I finish that, I need to make sure the parts look alright and then save them as a PDF and send that off to the prof in charge.
I wouldn't mind and I'd just stay up really late doing it, BUT:
Tomorrow morning at 7am, that's right SEVEN in the MORNING, I am meeting my choreographer and dancers to get to know each other in terms of music/movement styles.
I wouldn't mind and I'd just come home and sleep after, BUT:
Tomorrow is a pretty busy day anyway - I am giving 2 sight singing tests. I have a listening assignment for my electroacoustic class (also tomorrow), which obviously I won't be getting to tonight. I have a few hours between classes tomorrow, so I can use the library to do that!

Anyway, enough wasting time on here - I have work to do!
While this is quite stressful, this is what I've been waiting for and excited for with grad school! May the craziness begin!

Time has been flying - I've been rather busy.
Monday and Tuesday kind of whizzed by with the classes and lesson and preparation for both being rather extensive, well more just for the lesson.
My teacher's reaction was neither really here nor there, some good suggestions, but the piece is still not quite at the point where it can really be critiqued. I hadn't gotten it to the put together shape that it should be.
The energetic section that I wrote which I was excited about, and I thought it fit both piano and violin quite well, didn't quite win over my teacher. He even raised some concern about whether it was good writing for violin. I went to a violinist today and they reconfirmed that it fits the instrument, phew!
I talked to the prof organizing the workshop - I have until Friday to get my shit together, and I will need the time. I had originally thought I would get my piece ready for the lesson, get some corrections and then plug it into the notation software - things don't work that way. Not that this is a bad thing,- I feel that the piece has continued to grow. It's not like I got shot down at my lesson and had to rebuild; my lesson served me as a bump on the road to where I'm going.
The tricky thing is going to be working it up to a point at which I'll submit it and have to be ok with it at that point until the workshop. In the meantime, I will continue working on the piece - it will continue to develop and most likely will be a very different piece by the time I actually hear them play it. At the same time, what I'm presenting to them is going to be the second half so if I focus next on the first half, then maybe things won't be so out of sync.

Overall, the weekend was pretty damn productive in terms of composition. I still have quite a bit of time tomorrow during which I can finish up my composition and then I have time on Tuesday morning. At that point, I will need to make any changes/improvements as well as input it into my notation program. I hope I'm not going to run into any major setbacks with the notation, as that could have negative impact on my one-day timeline.. maybe that's not realistic, I have to make sure it's not just notated, but the parts have to be prepared as well.
I guess this is what grad school is all about. I will have to find a way to get it all together.
At the moment, there are some things which will be tricky to input, but that's just because I haven't made actual decisions about them yet; how do I want things to line up, if at all?

Oops, I should really sleep. Late night = Mikey not happy at his 9:30 sight singing class...

Somewhat of an end to witer's block

I figured out why I wasn't able to come up with any music - I was trying to compose away from the piano. Somewhere along the line, I got the idea that I didn't need a keyboard in order to write music; I barely used the piano for some of the pieces I wrote last year. I guess the moral of this story is that what works for the goose doesn't necessarily work for the duck. Wait, it's supposed to be the female version.. what is a female duck.... oh well,
What works for the drake doesn't necessarily work for the gander.
The additional moral is that I am neither a duck nor a goose, so while they don't use a piano to compose, I should.
Also, the fact that I am writing for a piano ensemble means that I need to be conscious that this is going to be played on piano. Between yesterday and today, I've spent over 10 hours at the piano trying to come up with stuff. It is surprising how slow things are to make it from my head onto the keys and then into my head again to get it on the paper. I'm certain there must be something mentally wrong with me that is preventing the process from going as smooth as it seems that it should.
Anyway, I have the first half of the piece pretty much mapped out, unfortunately it is the second half that I have to have close to finished by tuesday/wednesday. Nevertheless, inspired by how I've been working lately, I am confident that I will be able to get everything together for my deadlines. The good thing is that this piece doesn't need to be finished completely until December, so this will really raise the bar for what the finished product will be.

Another observation, last time I wrote for strings, I had issues remembering and making tangible the concept of how the pitches lie on the strings, but for whatever reason, I seem to have developed that sense and even my fingers on the keyboard were tuning into what is and isn't possible. It must be subconscious as well; I wrote down a theme for the piano part and then looking at it on the page, I realized that it made really good use of the open strings on the violin - saving me much time in trying to find a way to rewrite it for the violin.

Now, school has officially gotten busy. Writing is underway and it's amazing how much of my time I can dedicate to that. Electroacoustic course is suddenly getting heavier in the workload. Besides just doing more, I need to also kick things up a notch in terms of using the tools better. We had a mini assignment and well, when there's only 2 students, it's obvious which student is the better or in my case, lesser. In terms of using the technology, it's a matter of going more often to the studio and spending more time. Once again, in order to benefit, I need to do a couple of significant, like 3+ hour sessions. I find myself getting frustrated/antsy after about 2, so I need to force myself through it.

Oooh, I sent a piece to a chamber ensemble for their call for works today. They are looking for an emerging composer, so basically a bunch of people send them a piece and they pick one or a few that they will tour around the country. I sent in Auskultu Bonvolu, but I read that last year they had over 140 applicants, so it's already looking not so promising. That currently puts me at 2 competitions that I'm waiting to hear back from. Nevertheless, I feel that I wrote a really strong cover letter, so I hope that wins it for me! haha

Wow, I originally planned on listening to one Sibelius Symphony today, maybe two if I had time and the inclination. Somehow I ended up listening to them all(most).
I had listened to the first one another day. I actually listened to Symphonies 2-4 this afternoon and then 5-7 tonight.
This afternoon, I actually wrote down listening notes and read about them on the Grove's Online Encyclopedia. Tonight, I just listened and tried to understand / get inspired by the music.
I made sure that I was completely open and I even tried to fall in love with this music, but it didn't really happen. I really enjoyed Symphony number 5 and 7.
My prof and the other first year Master's student recommended that I listen to them all - probably not in one day, but that's just how I did it. Now I have a real sense of what Sibelius's music is all about and I will even be able to enter into discussions of these works.

I'm worried that I've lost or temporarily misplaced the ability to be really moved by music. The symphonies today were great and there was a lot that should have caused me to weep or scream or something, but nothing. Anyway, to test it all out, I'm going to listen to Liszt's Sonata in B minor. It is one of my favorite pieces of all time, and it once caused me to get a nasty speeding ticket on the evening before my birthday a few years ago. Hopefully it will inspire some tears as I settle down for the night.
I will let you know how things work out tomorrow.

Oooh, tomorrow I am performing the Double Bass and Piano piece - I'm excited and our rehearsal went very well today, things are really starting to come together. I will also provide commentary on that tomrorow.

I am becoming an ethical person!

I have decided that I need to become a professional in what I am doing. Therefore, I need to actually own the software that I use to make a living (or as close as I can get to making a living as a composer). However, being a professional doesn't necessarily mean that I am going to jump on paying full price on the software, especially when they have great offers that are just begging to be taken advantage of.
To just buy the full Sibelius 5 program, I would be paying 599$US. While the Canadian dollar is currently stronger than the US one, that is still a huge sum of money. At the same time, they have an offer that tries to convince users of the competition, Finale, to switch over for only 199$, or 99$ for the month of October. To save $500, all I would need to do would be to send the table of contents from the user manual of one of the accepted programs. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a hold of a user manual, damn! Nothing on ebay, and no-one I know uses those programs. But upon closer inspection, one of the programs that they accept for the upgrade is their own Sibelius Student program - only 99$. I ordered both the upgrade and the student version so that I can register the upgrade. A total savings of nearly 400$ and I get the ethical validation I've wanted for just over $200 Canadian.
I think Apple/Mac should offer a competitive upgrade thingy for Windows users.. haha, not likely, but that would be nice.
Anyway, with this detail out of the way, there isn't anything pressing that I need to upgrade. The step up to ProTools and getting a Macbook aren't necessary; they will have to wait pending the funding situation next year. If I know for sure that I will be getting decent money next year, then I will switch to Mac. Getting ProTools is not a rush at all. For this year and next, I have the use of a great recording/audio editing studio at school. I don't need to have the hard/software for my own computer, but that is something I need to address eventually.
Mumbly mumbly, no more talking about finances, I know it's not the most interesting topic, but that was all I really had to say for tonight, so I'll sign off for another day.

I walked home via a different route today. It would have been really nice, but the sun was in my eyes for more than half of it. I checked on google after I got home and the route I took was 5 kilometres and it took me about 52 minutes to walk. I totally thought that the walk would have taken a full hour, but unfortunately not.
In some ways the new route was nicer, for a long stretch of it you walk by a big open park and I get to cross the river, but on the other hand, it forces me to walk along a busy road for most of it. I know I will definitely not take this route in the late morning/early afternoon again, the sun was just too much directly in my eyes.
It was nice for variety and I will try it again at some point, but I like the original way better. I could walk along Richmond, a main street, but since I live a few big blocks east of it, I can also just walk through the residential areas. If anyone ever comes to visit (like my friend Fiona is coming in a few weeks) I will show this beautiful area. The houses are all amazing and the streets are all lined with trees and the colours are amazing right now.
Anyway, since I've been trying to find a way to extend my walk to an hour long, I think I will just walk a few blocks further east and then double back a bit.
Now I have settled into my schedule, which unfortunately does not involve a whole lot of at-school-time. I only actually need to go to school 2 or 3 days a week, sometimes 4 if I have a lesson. This is why I need to guaruntee that I walk at least an hour each time. I should also leave the house and get some exercise even on the days when I don't have anything. This weekend, I barely left the apartment and my legs ached when I walked to catch the bus on Sunday afternoon (I hadn't been out of the apartment since Friday evening).
Long story short (I lie) is that while I have been walking a lot more since moving here, I most likely haven't lost any weight and I'm not really in any better shape. I need to step things up in the exercise department.

New topic!
Now that I've finished my film soundtrack and got the tentative initial approval from the director, I have moved on to school composition work. The piano trio has developed slowly over the last 2 days, but it needs to go faster. A professional piano trio is coming to our school and they are doing a student composer masterclass type thing, so I need to have about 3 minutes of my piece suitable for them to read through so I can get some feedback. At the same time, my teacher wants me to have the whole piece generally sketched out in some detail for my next lesson. I think I'll give myself until friday to do that, then I'll spend the weekend filling in a3 minute section with more detail so that it might be ready for the end of the month (when I need to have it ready to send to the ensemble). It's all a matter of making sure I have as much done as I can so that I can make the best use of the resources; my teacher for this lesson as well as the ensemble. I think I'll have a day after my lesson in order to add some suggestions from my lesson in order to get it ready to send off.
It seems odd that I will be sending it to them to learn a section, but I will have worked on it quite a bit by the time they actually play it for me. I'll keep in mind that I will be wanting to listen for the concepts and style that they play rather than the specific notes, which will undoubtedly have changed.

I'll keep rambling-
A week or two ago, I had some bloodwork done through the student health services lab. Just the standard diabetes tests. This would have been the test of how my summer and first month of living here has been. My HbA1C wasn't bad; 7.2 when the targets are 7.0 or 6.5. I'm not even certain about what my previous result was, but somehow I have it in my head that this was a step backwards. While I try not to let numbers rule my life, I can't help but be disappointed. Not by the numbers, but by my perception... I really felt like I had made some monumental improvements over the summer, but I suppose not.
I'm posting about it now to admit that yes, it did get to me, but now I'm back on track.

I meant to blog about this yesterday, but I forgot.
I heard the Canadian Chamber Choir sing at a noon-hour concert on Friday. It was spectacular. It reminded me of how good choral singing can be.
Often, it seems that all singers have the sole intent of being soloists. I wonder why it isn't more like orchestral instrumentalists who have the intention of being in an orchestra. If more young people heard groups like the CCC, or if there were more choirs of that caliber, then maybe singers would aspire to be a voice within such a choir. The power of such a group is incredible.
Anyway, enough fawning.
It has inspired me to write differently for choir, whenever I next do that. It also brings to light the influence that the above mentioned bias against choral singing has had on my music. Not that it's bad, but let's look at the Baking with Momma piece I wrote.
I wrote it with a specific choir in mind, and with that came the premise that a choir would be made up of a bunch of budding soloists. That is how I wrote it - 8 separate voices, very independent. It was effective, but I don't think that the piece could be successfully performed by a non professional-ish level choir. I don't necessarily want all of my music to be elitist (more on that later).
I still think that the piece was quite successful, but I missed out on the power that the choral texture can achieve. I'm not saying that I'm not happy with the piece, in fact I will probably still write music in that style, but I want to also try the other side of things.

I was talking to my roommate earlier and he reminded me of how elitist classical music is. I need to keep this in mind as I attempt to not become overwhelmed by elitism.

Anyway, I'm rambling, perhaps I will stop.

I think I finished the soundtrack for the dance film I'm working on. I sent it to the film director/producer/editor and I'm just waiting on his feedback.
I've learned a fair bit about audio editing from the process, and I'm quite happy with how it has turned out. The first version I did involved the piano, accordion and some extended accordion technique, which ended up just sounding like heavy breathing. Through exploring some of digital effects available through audio editing, I ended up making a decision to use the piano as the only original sound source.
I won't go as far as to say that I've become a master electroacoustimusician, but I'm on my way. I was able to get everything to do what I wanted

In my electroacoustic class, we're using a program called ProTools. It has a steep learning curve so I have a fair bit to learn, but it will allow me even more tools than the program I'm currently using. All of this has gotten me thinking about some investments that I need to make within the next little while.
Basically, I need to switch to Mac. As much as I don't want to admit it, it almost comes down to a case of 'all the cool kids have it'. On top of that, and in terms of professional stuff, most of my colleagues use it, and most studios use it and my university uses it - therefore in terms of collaboration and being versatile, I need to be in that same situation. Not knowing much about keystrokes and using Macs is holding me back a little bit as I try and learn new ProTools at school. The reason why my colleagues and studios use them is because I've heard that the interface on most programs is better. Long story short, it all adds up to me switching.
When you add in the software that I'll need, this switchover will cost me approximately $3,000!
Ouch!
Anyway, this is part of me becoming a professional in my field. Nevertheless, I need to wait and make sure that I get funding for next year before I go and make such an investment, otherwise I wouldn't quite be able to afford to live...
Wow, this post has taken me hours because I've been flitting around on the internet doing absolutely nothing today. Here ends said post.

I went to the big mall in London for the first time today. I did pretty well at first.
I dislike malls, and shopping.
I needed to buy headphones. I've never really owned any - I have a pair of earbuds, but those are especially unsatisfactory now that I am doing sound editing for a score. Anyway, I looked online and it seemed that I could get something decent for between 50-70 bucks. I went to all the places that would have headphones in the mall and I was comparing prices.
I went to one actual music store. They had three choices, 2 that were around the same quality and prices as other stores I looked at. The guy was trying to convince me that I should but the other choice - professional quality studio headphones for a hundred dollars more. Long story short, they were trying to convince me by belittling me for even considering the other ones. Making big purchases makes me nervous and there were like 4 salespeople standing around be all assy and condescending. I had my mastercard out and once she told me the price with tax, I freaked out and decided I couldn't so I apologized and left. I hadn't even left the store and the other salesmen were asking her "what was going on there?".
They were certainly not going to get my business. I went elsewhere and bought a reasonable pair.

I've stepped back into being a pianist.
A small step, but a step nonetheless.

That's all I will do for now - take small steps.

A fellow composer has a piece that he wants to be performed at a concert coming up and I said I would play in it. It is for piano and double bass.
Now that I don't do piano as my mainstay, I think I'm taking the lesson that was thrown at me near the end of my undergrad - Regardless of whether you are professional or amateur, you want to sound like a professional. This is something that I never did while I was attempting to be a professional. I think that I wasn't able to give it my full attention while doing my undergrad perhaps because it was too much for me to handle. Now that I am more aware of my limitations, I think that if I take on only small amounts, I will be able to treat them with the respect and professionalism that they deserve.

While I haven't missed being the pianist I was last year and before, the other day, playing through a Beethoven Sonata, I was reminded of how I do enjoy playing piano.

My roommate and I had a celebratory shot of tequila tonight to celebrate finishing grad funding applications.
It's been weeks now that we've been constantly editing our 2-page write-ups. Trying to fit the plans for and research elements of this degree into one or two pages has not been a fun experience.
It's been a fair while since I actually had to write anything of worth. I did the SSHRC application last year, and I'm not surprised at all that I didn't get the scholarship. At U of M, they had no resources available to me to understand what the scholarship was about, so I didn't really treat it very seriously. This time around, there were presentations on how to write a successful proposal and all of my profs have been open and helpful. Other students, my roommate, profs and my choreographer all helped me to transform the original version into a much more detailed and refined version which I will be submitting tomorrow. Each time I got comments, I basically restructured it and the last few edits have been shifting back and forth based on the editors' views of what the panel will be looking for. Therefore, I am no longer getting commentary on things being unclear or not explained well enough, so I know that it is clear and concise. I took a compromise on the differing views of how I should structure the information and now I am actually happy with it. As I re-read it, I braced myself for finding that huge mistake that would set me back in front of the computer for hours, but I didn't find it.
Anyway, tomorrow it will be out of my hands and I will just have to wait until ca. February to find out the results. I am already nervous.
The value of the scholarships is about 15-17.5 grand - enough that I would be set for living expenses next year and be able to live comfortably. If I don't get either one, I still get the funding I'm receiving this year, but I would prefer more...
Anyway, I had still not really had any ideas for my Piano Trio work up until this weekend and it would be inexcusable to go into my lesson on tuesday with nothing to show for the last 2 weeks, but I had a wonderful creative outburst this weekend and I have something... not much, but something to go on. Now I have direction and it's just a matter of sitting down and working hard at it the next few days and I will have something valuable to show my teacher - well, I hope it will be of value...
I feel like I have more direction in this piece, so now it will just be a matter of actually getting around to writing it and putting it down on paper and then computer.
The Autumn cycle is bringing itself together, I'm getting impatient for the final copyright permission, then I will just unleash myself, but that is the least pressing project at the moment.
The Dance film, I did the newest recording session before the weekend and over the last few days, I started piecing together the session. I'm learning more and more about how to use the technology, so I have lots of new ideas that will make this new edit even better than the first draft. I feel like I will be in a lot better control for this edit. I need to get it done quickly though, that is high up on the list of priorities, and once Tuesday's lesson is done, it moves to priority number 1. It will definitely be done before next weekend and then I think it should be out of my hands, barring slight edits.
Starting next weekend, I'm pushing myself into super-composing mode. I've already been in grad school for over a whole month, I feel like I should have composed a hell of a lot more, so I'm going to make myself do it. Even though my only real focus/project is the piano trio, I will start working on much more. Of course these are words of bravado, but I hope to live up to them.

Zippydoodle, I need to go to bed - long day tomorrow.

People who send things through couriers are assholes. Sure, thanks for whatever you're trying to send me, but fucking send it through Canada Post! At least they can put it in my box or leave it at the post office rather than me having to take three busses to pick up a bloody package, and watch - it'll be a huge box! FiddleSticks!
And the courier people call me and leave these messages trying to belittle me for not having psychically sent her my buzz code and then again for not having a working buzzer!! Fuck you bitches!
If I'm bloody well going to buss out to the airport to pick up my package, it had better be flying on a jet pa-lane!
Couriers only work for people who sit around on their front porches all day waiting for the courier to come - I can't do that, I don't have a porch!

In other news, London is filled with delightful people. I'd say about 60% of the time, even when people exit the bus through the back door, they yell thank you to the driver. They also hold doors open for people.

I'm almost done with SSHRC. I'm going to aim to have it completely finished tomorrow (leaving the option for one more last minute edit). My choreographer today helped me to edit it and gave some super awesome suggestions. My poor Program of Study, it's been revised more times than.... well a lot. I've pretty much taken everyone's advice, so it looks much different every time I fix it up. Luckily everyone who has helped me has been very helpful! HelpityHelp!

Today we spent our class time for Electroacoustic music in the recording studio, I recorded leaves - scratching against each other, crunching, crumbling and having some kind of death match. Also the sounds of a kazoo, diet coke, and duct tape. These are the sounds that I will be using to make a piece of music later in this course.

But don't forget, I hate couriers!

This is a day in my life as a diabetic. This was actually a pretty good day. In an ideal world, my sugars would never have ventured out of the green space, but of course I didn't post the days where it did a lot more.
This technology allows me to see the trends of how my sugars move during the day. For example, you can see that I ate around 11:30am and I must have taken more insulin than I should because it shows my sugars dropping thereafter.
Anyway, I spent a fair bit of time this morning looking at the results from my 6 day stint wearing the Continuous Glucose Monitor and I've learned a fair bit from the experience.

Happy Belated Turkey Day!

This weekend was great. I went to my uncle's house just a few hours away and had a wonderful time. I went to a demolition derby - my first time to anything of the sort. It was amazing - I try to be all fancy and stuff, but the violence and reckless damage is just far to entertaining to ignore!
Thanksgiving dinner was very nice and filling. I got to meet my second cousins (ages 4 and 6) for the first time ever, their mother (my cousin) for the second time ever, and my other cousin for the third time. It's terrible, but living in different provinces seems to have been enough to keep the family from getting to know one another. I hope to be able to change that from here on in.
Today has been an amazingly productive day in terms of creativity. I had found the perfect poem to fit into the Fall Song Cycle and now it is all coming together, at least in the preparatory planning stage. I am still waiting for the copyright permissions on the third poem and then I'll be able to just jump into that one without reservations, but for now I am timidly avoiding it. Anyway, even if I have to find a different poem to replace that one, I know how the cycle will develop and generally how it will work itself out.
I'm now going to work a little bit on some rhythm study for my piano trio piece. That's what my teacher wants me to focus on so I will take his lead and put as much of my resources into it as I can. I realize that my use of rhythm up to now has been primarily mathematical - which can be fine, but I haven't had any reasons for doing so. In seminar/lectures, my prof has spoken a lot about the rhythm of speech and how it is very varied and always interesting. Tonight I shall explore precisely that.

Wow, I claim a new record for non-productivity today. Truly pathetic.
I'm going to give up at this point and just focus on doing the dishes, then at least I'll have accomplished one thing today.

It feels like I'm going to have 2 separate weekends this weekend. I am going to my uncle's house for thanksgiving dinner on Monday. I'm leaving on Sunday morning, but I still have basically a whole weekend before that time even comes.
Tomorrow, I'm going to spend the whole day working on composition. I didn't really have much for my composition lesson this week, so I need to have quite a bit for next lesson (in a week and a half) - it's a matter of getting started on this Piano Trio piece I need to write.
I also need to get a fair bit of conceptual thinking and planning underway for the Autumn piece I am going to write for my friend Andrea. Then there is the matter of finishing the piece for the dance film.
None of these things need to be done by the end of the weekend, but I can feel that I've been sitting on my haunches for long enough, it's time to move ahead.
Right now is definitely the time to be getting inspiration for the Autumn piece, so many leaves and trees changing colour. Actually I'm going to go outside and collect some leaves to record right now. My theory is that if I slow down a recording of a leave crunching, I will get a rhythm that I can use for the piece. I'm not sure if I will be using the actual recorded sound as part of the piece, but who knows.
I'll post about how that turns out!

Not that anyone has shown concern by commenting, but I just wanted to post that I am better today.
I need to do laundry, but that can wait until tomorrow.
I am going to force myself to finish my Program of Study write up tonight to give to my references. I'm doing some big scholarship applications due in 2 weeks and this write-up is a bitch. Basically, it wants me to have drafted up my thesis proposal already.
Anyway, I'm almost done. I did a very rough draft last night and I had a few people read it today. From that I'm reshaping it and then I will send that to my references tonight. I will still improve on it for the next few weeks, but I want to have something presentable for my references.
Anyway, I'm writing it as I write this, so I should focus on that - I'm nearly done.

Ok, I don't really have the time or patience to explain what I'm feeling.
This weekend was good and there's a lot of depth to what went on.

Superficial
The resort was gorgeous, breathtaking view of Lake Musoka from my patio. The food was pretty good and everyone was super grateful for me coming up to show some diabetic results. Meals were pretty good, good company and I got to golf yesterday. I'm a terrible golfer, but the course's beauty made up for my shortcomings.

Only Skin Deep
I got to wear a Continual Glucose Monitor for a few days before the weekend and for a few days yet. What started as a trivialty of knowing my sugars at any moment - simply at the press of a button - became more and more insightful. I started to make use of the information and, dare I say it, I've seen how it can improve my control.

Under My Skin
They brought two diabetics out there so that they could have 'real diabetic' results to look at. The other diabetic is a model patient; his control is impeccable and doctors made comments about 'where can I get patients like that?'. I'm completely supportive of the other guy, but at times it felt a bit like 'good diabetic, bad diabetic'. Mostly, it was bringing to light the fact that he is on the pump and it is allowing him to take such control over his health. Moreso, that I am struggling to do that things that the pump would allow me to do with much more ease.

Into the Depths of My Soul
It all comes down to money, and I know that. I've been convincing myself over the last few years that I can have just as good control without a pump. It is not true. Talking to the other diabetic as well as nurses and doctors, it is painfully obvious that I should be on a pump. Rumour has it that Ontario will soon be covering pumps, meaning that it might be a possibility very soon. Please, don't tease me - you might just as well hold a lollipop in front of a child and then lick it and stick it into their hair so that they would have to rip out their own hair in order to get the candy. I admit my weakness, and I can't convince myself again that a pump is just not worth it, because it is - but I can't afford it.
What's more is the fact that the pump is old technology by now and I still haven't gotten to it. This weekend I wore the CGM and I loved it. I've had a glimpse into how much easier, safer, comfortable life could be. In a day or two more, I have to leave that behind and return to the way I've known for years - only now I have the full picture of how incomplete it is.

I am weak.

I am vulnerable.

I should be excited for the developments and I should be grateful for my opportunity, and I am, but I can't be. But I am. I hurt from the chance of being disappointed.

I'm going to try to touch very briefly on all the things that have been going on:

Bionic - the CGM has been pretty nifty so far. I'm going to the conference tomorrow and I'll enjoy Lake Muskoka for the weekend. When I get back, I will have some specific comments on my experience.

Composition - I had Auskultu Bonvolu performed last night. It was quite different than the reading in Winnipeg. I was generally quite impressed with the players here at UWO. They had the piece for about 3-4 days and they pulled off a very respectable performance.

Scholarships, pleeeeeease! - I'm in the process of applying for SSHRC and OGS funding = kill me now. I hate paperwork and trying to sum up what I will be planning on doing for my thesis into a succinct little writeup. Two pages should NOT take this long.

Birthday - I am now 24 years old. It really doesn't feel any different. The phone was ringing off the hook all evening and my roommate didn't know why until a certain fun friend couldn't hold in her excitement and wished his a birthday as soon as he answered the phone. My parents had sent me a care package - a 20-some-odd pound, rather large box with no handles which I got to awkwardly carry through downtown. Nevertheless, it was filled with lots of good things, so I will forgive them.

Composition (version 2) - I found out that I will be writing for a piano trio this year. I get to write for piano AND strings, yay! I have to have the piece finished by the end of this term so the ensemble learns and performs it next term. This weekend, I get to work on sketching out the general framework of the piece and its textures and whatnot. I should probably get around to that. Maybe the beautiful lake this weekend will inspire me.

I'm bionic!
I currently have a Continuous Blood Glucose sensor poked into my right oblique.... who am I kidding, lovehandle. CGM technology has been something that I have followed rather closely for a while and it was on my list of things that I would love to try out for a while if I had the money. The problem is that all things in diabetes management technology are rather costly in the beginning stages. As a result, I had put thoughts of this and pumping out of my mind...
< End Tangent>>
...out of my mind since I was have been happy with my control via regular injections. A few days ago, a diabetic friend of mine called me up and mentioned that Medtronic (one of the leader's in insulin pumps and CGM technology) was looking for someone to be a guinea pig for their new Guardian CGM system. Long story short, I am now wearing a sensor and I'm hooked up to an insulin pump (not actually connected to it though) and they are going to present my results at a conference this weekend on Lake Muskoka.
The immediate benefits are that for the next 4 days, I get a peek into how exactly my sugars react to everything - food, exercise, stress, bitching - all I have to do is press a button and look at the screen. On a more surface level, I get to go to the conference meaning that they are putting me up in a resort for a night and feeding me some nice food. I was originally under the impression that I would actually be given the Guardian CGM system with some supplies, but I shan't be one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I won't make any real comments tonight because the sensor isn't even transmitting information yet, that starts early tomorrow morning.

New information - A piece of mine is being performed tomorrow night. One of the other comp students was quite helpful in getting together players for my ensemble piece "Auskultu Bonvolu".

I'm done writing, I need to get laundry into the dryer before it gets any later... I'm already past laundry curfew...
I'll post about both of those topics tomorrow.

So, since this first month had a bunch of random costs which won't reoccur on a monthly basis, I haven't really been able to make or assess my budget. Nevertheless, I think that I can say that I haven't really had any problems cutting back on expenditures.
I haven't eaten at a restaurant since I moved here; well, I ate Wendy's for lunch one day when I was craving a frosty(but it wasn't a very good frosty), and we ordered Thai food delivery one night. Other than those two times, I've made all of my meals and my idea of a treat was to buy myself a samosa for 1.29$ at the local deli the other day.
Anyone who knows anything about my 'social' life in Winnipeg knows that it basically revolved around restaurants. I'm not at all surprised that I am having no problem with this new restaurant-free living. It is much cheaper when socializing involves bringing a bag of chips or a cheap bottle of wine over to a friend's place.

Anyway, I'm not writing any of this to brag, rather I just wanted to set up for the main point of this blog entry. So here we are, set up; I am comfortable with not spending much money.

Point of this blog entry: When I returned my cds to the library today and was informed that they were overdue... 3 days, 3 cds, 2$ a day = 18 bucks! I could have bought one of those cds for that amount; but in more tangible terms, I could go to 2 barbecue/potluck/wine and cheese evenings; I could have bought 14 samosas!
I realize that it's not a huge amount of money, and I don't really even think about it like that, but it just depicts the point I am at in terms of financial thinking and budgeting. Last year, I would never have been similarly affected by that amount of money.


New Topic!
I'm very close to finishing my piece. I'm just applying some editing to it while I'm not blogging. I have just over an hour before I leave here for my classes tonight, so it's about that close to being finished.
It's odd, yesterday at around this time, I was frustrated that this piece was going to turn out a total piece of crap. Later on, I left it for the evening - almost having lost hope- and went for what is becoming a weekly tradition, Sunday evening dinner/hanging out with Judy O. I had printed out a copy before I left and I ended up reviewing and editing it as I walked home; making use of those 7 steps where I could actually use the light between street lamps. Maybe it was the wine, maybe walking by my favorite 'castle' house (I'll post a picture eventually), or maybe it was having taken a few hours away from the piece, but I actually had some good ideas. When I got home, I poured another glass of wine and fixed/changed those areas of the piece with which I was particularly unhappy and then I actually had something to work with. Earlier this afternoon, I sat down and marked up the score with details I needed to fix up and now here I am - Happy with my piece.
I am also pretty sure that I don't need to present my piece today, more likely tomorrow sometime, so I will be able to apply even further improvements tonight if I still want.

I'm excited for this evening - my first Orchestration class as well as first Composition Lecture. A total of 5 hours of lecture.... but I'm sure it will be amazing!

I will post later about how it went!

I sometimes wonder whether or not I am a good communicator. I do listen and pay attention to people when they are talking, but I wonder to what degree I truly understand them. This comes up because I was delighted yesterday by a statement by Allen Forte yesterday when he was doing his lecture.
I paraphrase, 'Do you like octatonic scales? I usually like to play one first thing in the morning; to clear my head of tonality.'
The statement he made was absolutely delightful and I was immediately moved to get my notepad and write it down. The problem is that in those 10 seconds between his statement and my writing it down, all that remained certain was the idea of the statement.
I am not sure whether he actually said 'usually'; whether he referred to the scale as 'one' or 'them' or 'it'; whether it was 'first thing', or just 'in the morning'; and he may have even thrown a colour word into the last phrase.
For the longest time, I have used active listening. Therapists and counsellors use this in order to validate and verify the things that another person had said:

Jack- "so like, um, when she was there, I was like, ahh!"
Dr. Johnson - "I see, so her presence made you feel uneasy"

I'm not sure whether or not it is a problem, but I think I do this all the time. Most of the time, it works well; I remember things better if they fit logically into the way that I think, but therein lies the problem - when the topic is something that I don't understand easily like politics or philosophy, I don't hold on to the information effectively. Even more scary is the fact that I can easily misunderstand concepts when I am trying to translate them for myself.
I think I am going to hereby add this to my list of things I want to improve about myself. I am going to try to understand concepts in the context in which they are told to me before I try and apply them to my own life and thoughts.

Anyway, that's enough rambling for tonight. Back to work for me! [My piece is coming along, slowly but surely. I have plans tomorrow evening, so I will need to get it finished by tomorrow cause I sure don't want to leave it until late late Sunday night. Basically there are 2 more sections that I need to finish, and then I will probably tidy up how they connect together. I'm aiming to get at least one of those two sections done today.]

I've been bad. Starting my master's is my chance to take the boat by the oars and really get things moving, but I've caught myself procrastinating again. This composition - I haven't really touched it since the last time I blogged, and I should have been spending every spare moment on it. Now, I will have to spend pretty much the entirety of my weekend working on it. I shouldn't say that though, that gives me the excuse to waste a whole weekend on something that shouldn't take that long. I'll rephrase - I will have it done by tomorrow evening so that I can go out tomorrow and spend Sunday doing whatever I please. I also have to keep in mind that I have some reading and listening to do for my first Orchestration class and Composition lecture.

Another thing I noticed myself doing is walking on the left side of the sidewalk. I hate this; I have told people off in Winnipeg for walking on the left side of the sidewalk. Here, they may drive on the right side of the road, but I swear the pedestrians think they're in jolly old England, and it's starting to rub off on me. I will keep my eye on it and try to rectify this mistake.

Today we had a guest lecturer at school. Allen Forte is credited as being the man to have brought the Second Viennese School of music over to North America and revolutionized how we organize pitch content. Long story short, he is a hugely popular and respected music theorist and he came to our school. At lunch, we were treated to a lecture recital of the three Petrarch Sonnets by Liszt, played by his wife Madeleine Forte. In undergrad, I had played the vocal version of Sonnet 104, so having listened to quite a few recordings of the solo and vocal versions, I can easily say that hers was my favorite interpretation. How do I put this nicely... She is not a young woman, which made her incredible technique and pianism that much more impressive.
Later in the afternoon, I attended Allen Forte's presentation of a recent research paper on a short piece by Schoenberg. It was fascinating how he presented the many instances of referencing himself and his students through the use of the musical alphabet within a piece that was under a minute in length. There was so much more substance to his lecture, which I cannot even begin to try and explain here.

Ok, back to procrastination... I will do so by speaking more of procrastination - I've been avoiding dishes since yesterday afternoon. I certainly need to have those done before my roommate gets back from Toronto, but I'll set myself a goal - I should have them done before going out tomorrow. Maybe the dishes will help me to avoid working on my composition.

On a positive note, I finally got around to going to the percussion department today. I found some random percussionists in the hallway and they showed me some of the ins and outs of cymbals. In all of the textbooks I have and some online resources I consulted, nothing could answer the questions I had about them. They all told me about the fact that a cymbal can sound very different based on where you hit it, but they didn't really attempt to qualify that with descriptions. Basically all I wanted to know was if the harmonics increased as you move outwards on the cymbal or if it was the inverse; also what were the sonorous qualities of hitting the dome. Basically, those questions were answered simply enough by just hearing it played at different points of the cymbal. Harmonics are not the same in the cymbal as they are with other instruments. Rather than the number of audible overtones being different based on where you strike, it's the organization of the multiple sets of overtones. Hit at the outside rim, the overtones are quite spread out giving the sound a full body, whereas the inside renders a sound more compact at the high end of overtones. Hitting the dome gives a dead(ish) sound almost exclusively made up of the upper partials. Now I have the information about the cymbal that I needed in order to feel comfortable developing a piece based on the acoustic qualities of it as an instrument.

Now I will stop blogging and maybe even get some work done.

After the kerfuffle this morning, things got better. Ish, but there's still things to bitch about.
Towels - what's the purpose if they don't absorb anything?!? I used the most cheap-ass non-absorbent towel this morning/afternoon when I took my shower and it did nothing. After I started using it, it was trying to put the wetness back onto me; what a silly towel! I have about 5 towels just for my own use, BUT only one of them actually performs it's function properly. Make note people, if you plan on visiting me, I will be kind and pleasant, but I am not going to offer you my only good towel; you can either bring your own, or suffer the wrath of the pointless sopping wet towel! I swear that even the humidity in the bathroom was enough to soak the bloody towel.
Now that I've been sidetracked from my explanation of how today got better, I will continue.
I got a fair bit of stuff done today: I cleaned my room a bit; I moved into the apartment enough to be functional, but I haven't really made good decisions about where to store things on a more permanent level - now at least some things are in better places. I made myself a pretty kick-ass delicious dinner - penne with vegetables in alfredo sauce. I drank some nice red wine with it although I found out, when searching online for the sweetness of the wine, that I should have paired it with a tomato based pasta sauce... oopsie, I guess I'll know for next time.
I was thinking tonight that it is high maintenance to know which kind of wine goes with what food... you basically have to know what you're going to eat before you order your drink, unless you have a drink to start and then a wine with your meal, then you should probably have a liqueur or dessert wine after the meal, and you actually probably should have started with an apertif... geez with all the liquor involved, maybe it's the life for me.
The other day I walked across downtown 2.5 kilometers to the liquor store and that was perfectly fine, but the walk home with 4 bottles of liquor in my backpack was perhaps not the best idea. Nevertheless, I saw some new parts of the city and if it weren't for that, I might not have done any significant amount of walking over the weekend. Actually, that's a lie, but oh well.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, after dinner, I went to a café because I was not being terribly productive at home. I actually wrote some music finally. I'm working on a piece for 2 instruments and my prof gave me some guidance as to how to go about writing the piece, so I had been doing mostly thinking and planning for the last week and today I actually wrote something, yay! I have now finished the first 2 steps of the 4 or 5 step process; I wrote the climax of the piece. Now, all that remains is to write the beginning, the end, and I suppose I should fill in those blanks in the middle. I really hope that the good start of this project continues. This is my first composition of my Master's and I should hope it turns out well. Nevertheless, I believe that this is going to be our starting point; it will give my prof an idea of what I do well and what I need to do better. His reaction to the piece will also teach me a lot about what he is looking for. Not that I'm going to tailor my music to what he wants specifically, but it will give me an idea of where he is coming from.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to lock myself in the electroacoustic lab and learn myself another electro gadget! I still have about 20 some-odd pages of a owner's manual to read before I'm prepared for that.
Goodnight!

Gah Mumbly Poo!

I hate computers! My laptop is once again not letting me connect to the internet! Yesterday evening it was fine, and then right before i went to bed it stopped. It's connected to the wireless router, but not getting internet. Worse is the fact that my roommate's computer is still getting internet, so I know that it's something purely in my laptop that has gone awry.
I hate these stupid technical problems.
I have officially decided that as soon as I am in the financial position, I am switching to Macintosh. Every prof and classical music person in any way involved in the university uses a Mac of some sort. I'm told that the programs interface better on mac system and they don't have the techno glitches that I am experiencing more and more often on my computer.
At some points, I had prided myself on being able to fix the myriad of problems that I have with computers. Now I'm just to the point where it is taking up too much of my time. Maybe I didn't value my own time enough, but I know that I'm not a computer expert and I don't want to be.
Fuck it!
I wish I had a few grand right now so I could just buy a nice iMac and macbook to pair together, but alas I don't.
Why the hell does all of this stuff have to be so complicated?!? The internet was working perfectly yesterday and then suddenly, I didn't change any settings or add any new programs; nothing. It just stopped working for no reason. BLARGH!

I'll spend a maximum of 20 minutes on it now and then I'm going to shower and work on composing.


UPDATE:
I got ahold of tech support, she told me to unplug the router and modem, so I did, but that disconnected the phone so I was mad a bit, but then when I powered them back up again, all was well. At least I know what to do next time, but there'd better not be a next time!

My used chair just broke. The metal plate that sits under the chair snapped in half... kinda jagged-like. That will teach Michael to buy a used office chair that looks like it's from the 70's. Fortunately, it seems to still be usable, the mechanism that keeps me from spilling out when I lean back is still working so it's safe (I think).

The first week of my school activities is now over. I taught 4 sections of sight singing and they all went pretty well. I found things went slower in the smaller sections because I was able to tailor to their specific needs/weaknesses. At the same time, I shouldn't let them fall further behind on that account, but really, the difference is tiny, my classes are all fairly strong. Since some of the sections are only 2 people, I'm going to try to combine them so that a) there are more people in one class, so they are more comfortable and we can sing full chorales and 2) I might be able to find a way out of waking up three days a week for 9:30 am... that would be nice!
Today was a fairly full day. I taught at 9:30, then listened to some cd's in the library, then watched a short opera over the lunch hour, then taught another section at 1:30 and then had my own electroacoustic music class at 2:30. It's still a little bit overwhelming how early on I am in the learning curve of the electronic music studio. SO much to learn, I'm excited!
My goal for this weekend is to get my dance film soundtrack rough draft done. If I had been on the ball, I probably could have finished it tonight, but that's not looking likely at this point, unless I want to keep neighbours up late with accordion noise. I should, however, be able to get a little bit done tonight, so I leave you my friends.
Toodles for now.

I know it's been a while, donc il faut que je bitche; I need to bitch!

Today, I finally have phone and internet working. The modems and stuff had arrived on monday, but it took until now to get it working. I won't name names, but I warn others to be careful when dealing with companies that don't offer telephone technical support. Tech support for the phone line as only available via email; via phone (9am - 6pm) for DSL. Nevertheless, there were times that neither of these services were working for me. If we weren't 'borrowing' internet from a wireless neighbour and phone from the previous tennant, I would have long since found a post office and sent things back. Instead, I have spent the majority of my waking time on tuesday, wednesday, and then this morning banging my head on the table, trying to make things work.
The tech support I received always led me to believe that I had to get the right passwords in the right place and try a billion different wire connections and re-set all the devices to make sure that they were each connected properly, even though I knew from the outset (as well as some help from my main computer tech man, K) that it was set up properly. Finally, this morning, I said screw it and just got rid of the passwords from my routers. If I didn't need a password to even connect to my modem, why would i need it for my other devices to connect to it. Magic, things were communicating and all was almost well.
There was some more stuff today when I realized that the phone wouldn't actually receive phone calls and then I had to choose between the multiple configurations that the same company offered and after the whole ordeal, I now have everything working as it should be. Chances are that if you want to communicate with me, I have already sent you my new contact info, but if not then please email me and I can send you that info. I have free long distance in Canada and the US so I can call pretty much anyone... except for my Chinese and German friends.

Anyway, I'm pissy because I'm not good with computers and I spent so much frikkin time doing this. Those who know me know that I can be a bit obsessive, and I totally have been about this. Ya, so 2 or 3 days are now down the drain; not exactly the way I wanted to be spending my time, but at least I can say that I have a better understanding of PPPoe, Routers in general, Wireless systems, DSL, and VOIP protocols. I would rather not have learned all of that, but I might as well be proud of it! The good thing is that now (knock on wood), I should be able to just ignore phone and internet aside from using them; we prepaid the yearly contract so we don't get monthly bills. I guess it works out then, rather than people having to pay their bills every month, I just spend my time worrying about it upfront and now I just enjoy the service until next year.

Ok, time for some good news. I looked at my bank account and my student loan money was deposited! YAY! I have been avoiding paying off my credit card (racked up with set-up costs) because that payment would pretty much wipe out my bank account. Financially, I now feel good. That loan money is certainly enough to last at least a few months, and it had better not take that long for my paycheques to start coming in from the university for my teaching. Also, I managed to earn eleven dollars in reward points from my PC financial MC this month! I don't know what you guys think, but I think that's amazing!

Now that I've wasted even more time blogging, I need to go get some work done before I see another day gone down the drain in the name of this bloody phone/internet fiasco!

Today was a bland day... I don't even think I left the apartment. It was raining for the first bit and then, well I didn't have anything to go out for. I unpacked most of my clothes, so now I actually have shirts hanging in my closet. I also did some prep work for my first composition assignment/piece. Ooh, and I also got a bunch of reading done in my electroacoustic music text/owner's manual for the Ramsa mixing board.
Anyway, since I didn't do anything today, I'm not really tired yet, but I know I need to sleep now or else I will not do well for my first teaching tomorrow. Hopefully, if I am able to wake up and leave the apartment early enough, I can also take out the scores and recordings I need from the library before teaching.
Good night all!

Apparently I have been in London for a week already. It feels both like I have just arrived, but also that I've been here a while. Everything is still very fresh and new, but at the same time I have gotten a lot of stuff accomplished:
Apartment is pretty much home now. It's decorated and stuff and I feel at home here. All of my school paperwork is out of the way.
I am completely finished my part of the process for both Canada Student Loan and Manitoba Arts Council Grant; now, I just wait for the money to come flooding in.
I have met with both of my profs for this term and received my initial assignments.
I'm getting to know the geography of the city. When people mention areas of the city and street names, I have a pretty solid understanding of where they are talking about. I'm starting to get acquainted with the bus system and I've walked home a few times from school.

Now, some more detail and perspective:
School - Initial meetings with my composition prof were both intimidating and exciting. We're basically going to ignore anything I've done before and start afresh. This is very exciting for me, although a large undertaking, but that's what grad school is supposed to be. Between comp course and orchestration, I get to have a chamber piece and a short orchestral piece performed, without any organizational effort of my own; I just write the piece and they play it! My first meeting for Electroacoustics was overwhelming... I have no experience at all. There was a stack of 8-12 electronic machines which I need to become familiar - and that's the starting point for where I can begin the course. First assignment was/is to read the manual and learn how to use the basic functions of the 32-channel digital mixing board. There is so much to learn, but I guess I've avoided the high-tech side of music for long enough. Now that I actually saw the studio and got the tour of what kind of magic I can make happen, I'm really interested to learn as much as I can.

Social - The other grad students in the music department are great; so friendly and nice! The MMus in Composition is small, only 5 of us so I was hoping that I would get along with them... I just came from a barbecue at the house where a few of them live (that's right, there is actually house with 3 composers living in it). I've also been invited out a few times with some of the masters voice students. My roommate is great, social enough, but we both know that we're here to learn and be serious students.

The moral is that, after the first week, things are going just fine! I can tell already that school is going to keep me quite busy, but I know I won't be at a loss if I feel I need to take a night to be social.
Phone and internet of our own are en route, so once I have it all set up, I will know what my phone number is and then I will send out my new contact information to all my friends and family back in Winnipeg.

Anyway, I'm going to bed, I'll sleep most of tomorrow away and then on monday, the madness begins - I teach my first class of sight singing!

Today was the start of official business at school. Orientation was 2 hours of my morning. Lots of information that was somewhat relevant. The lines were too long to wait for a student card or bus pass, so I'll avoid that as long as I can.
My program consultation and TA meeting were at the same time today, I figured that I could do the first quickly and then make it to the meeting. The consultation was only 15-20 minutes, but by the time I got to the meeting, I was left with the only 4 remaining teaching slots-
I am teaching sight singing to second year undergrad students. We are using the same textbook as I did for Basic Skills.
-9:30am Mon, wed and fri and then another slot on friday... Yuck.. I don't like mornings.
I had intended to be so efficient with registering and getting paperwork filled out, but I completely forgot. I need to get papers signed for Manitoba Student Loan and the Manitoba Arts Council bursary. Those two are the bulk of my funding for the year, so I need to get on that ASAP. It will still be 2 weeks before I even get the cheque/money. My funds are already starting to dwindle, so that is kinda priority.
I don't have classes or anything tomorrow, so I will get all my paperwork done and student card and bus pass. Aside from a meeting with my composition prof, I don't really have anything until next week. I start teaching my class before I actually take my own classes... haha

It was a rather social day for me. After the TA meeting, I should have remembered to get my forms signed, but I got distracted by people and went to a welcome back little get together thingy at one of the singer's apartments. Then we went to a music grad student thing at the grad bar on campus. I hung out with all of the 5 people in the MMus Composition program. They are super nice and really friendly. We are going to have a composer night next week, so things are starting off well already!

I'm excited to see my friend Brandy play a concert. I looked it up and it's only 2 blocks from my apartment so I can just walk over. That is friday night after my composition teacher meeting.

Zippidy-doo, I'm here

I'm here, and now living in my new apartment.
The last few days were a bit of a whirlwind, but they went surprisingly smoothly. The drive was long, cramped, and generally uneventful; good news.
Yesterday, we got in town just before dinner so after checking into the bed and breakfast my parents had booked for their time here, we went for dinner and finished with just enough time to get to my apartment to see the place and sign the lease; which we did.
We then moved all of my stuff from the car into the apartment, leaving it all packed in boxes. Today was shopping day - we had to buy the furniture that we didn't have room in the car to bring. The bare minimum was a bed, desk, and chair. We went to about 5 or 6 used furniture places, from the second, I got a comfy wheely chair. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find the kind of desk I wanted, and the kind of desk I wanted wouldn't fit anyway; the room is smaller than I had expected/hoped. It took us pretty much the whole day, but eventually I got my desk from Jysk - metal frame with glass workspace; and a bed (box and mattress and frame) from some direct from warehouse type places with a mismatching sale deal. I will sleep on it tonight, and see if it was a smart buy. Nevertheless, I needed the bed and it was the only one I could afford haha.
We also shopped for groceries. My parents took me to the grocery store and bought me a massive chunk of groceries so that I have something to start from. I am so grateful for that and all that they have done to help me with this move. The evening consisted of some cleaning, putting groceries away, organizing my kitchen, putting the desk together - my dad and I are not good at these type of things... but it got done and it's all good!
Anyway, tomorrow is the last day of family fun. We are going to another city in southern Ontario to visit my uncle. I should sleep.
I still haven't met my roommate. Some of his stuff is here, but I guess he's waiting til school starts before he moves in. Once he gets here we will decide on phone and internet. For now, there are mysteriously unsecured wireless connections. I feel a little guilty about using them, but it's only until I get my own set up.
Good night.

Good-bye Winnipeg!

Well, the time is finally here. When I wake up, I will showering and then heading out the door, en route to London. I won't have time to blog, so I might as well do it now!
My last few days in Winnipeg have been delightful. My going away dinner was nice - a good assortment of people from different eras of my life. I spent my last evening with my wonderful friend Fiona, who I will miss terribly. Luckily, she was strong and didn't cry, as that would have started me crying as well.
This afternoon we packed everything into the trunk of the car. There is a fair amount of stuff to go in the back seat of the car as well, so it will be a cozy road trip. It was intense to put everything I am taking with me into one trunk. Also intense to know that I've been really detailed in my packing, so I know that I have everything I will need and, even if I don't, I can get anything I will need where I am going.
Just like when my sister moved away... my old computer room/office has been transformed into a new room for my mother. Heather's old room became a 'sitting room' and mine has become a 'tea room'. It's mildly delightful, but annoying in as much as she was nagging me to clean that room so she could redecorate rather than helping with the other, more pressing move.
I should probably get to sleep, although I have the feeling that excitement will prevent me from having a suitably restful sleep.
It might be a while before I post again. Once we move into the new apartment, we'll have to figure out how to get phone and internet service; nevermind the meetings, shopping, and organizing I will have to keep me busy upon my arrival. I'm not even sure of when classes start, but I have a feeling that a few weeks will have passed before I have my bearings about me. But more likely than not, I will find a way to blog in the midst of it all. For now, I will leave you with this:

Goodbye Winnipeg. I will miss you. You have been my home for a lifetime and will remain as such in my heart. Almost the entirety of the memories in my head involve you; almost the entirety of my friends are connected to you; almost the entirety of my life, my being, my existence has taken place within your borders. I will miss you and the people you house. I look forward to the days when I return to you with new perspective and experiences so that I can better appreciate you.

I make it sound so dramatic... but for shit's sake, I'm gonna be back in a few months' time for Christmas and such.
But for now,
Toodles!

Today, we gathered everything that I'm taking with me and my dad decided that it would fit in the trunk easily enough. My parents had contemplated buying a roof rack so that we could strap any extra stuff to the roof, but I don't think we need to. I am a bit of a control freak / packing crazy man whereas my mother tends to overwrap everything and make sure that nothing could even come close to possibly breaking. My way of ensuring things don't break is that everything should be stuffed with other things and jammed so tightly with everything else that nothing can move or jostle, thus nothing breaks.
Don't think I'm crazy, glass and breakables are amply padded, but why waste valuable bubble wrap when I have so many ties and knitted items which have to be packed anyway, they might as well serve as protective packaging. The difference: my mother had carefully put all my kitchen stuff into 2 boxes. I took everything and fit the majority of it into the microwave. One of the pots which was in a box became another means of packaging. I fit 4 mugs, shot glasses, cutlery and spice shakers into the pot. Knitted mittens served to protect the glass and keep everything snuggly in place.
I finally got to talk to someone at Manitoba Health today. They sent me a PDF of the form I need to send in to get reimbursed for prescriptions. I filled out most of the information so all I will need to do is attach the Rx receipts, sign and date the bottom, and then send the form in. He told me that the whole process from me sending it in to getting a cheque shouldn't take more than a week.
I also went to my pharmacy to order as much as I could for the next few months at least. They reminded me that I will need to get a prescription from an Ontario doctor, cause they won't recognize the one from Manitoba.

Today was the end of my last weekend in Winnipeg. I didn't really think about it or make a big deal about it, in fact it just hit me tonight. I'd been drawing out the goodbyes for months now, but I realized tonight that other than my farewell party on Tuesday, this is the home stretch - these are the last times I'm going to be seeing Winnipeg people.
I spent a good deal of time this evening with three friends that I've gone to university with for four years. We've gone out many times and had good conversations, laughed a lot, and made beautiful music with one another.
As we walked through some of downtown, it hit me that I'm actually leaving. While I've been openly and truly excited about leaving and the wonderful things I'm going to learn and experience, the other part hit me tonight: it is sad to leave people behind.
2 of those friends will more than likely be at my going away party, but Chris has to work at the farm, so he might not be able to come in -which I completely understand, it's busy season on the farm. As I hugged him, I realized that it might be for the last time in a long time. With Chris, every time you see him, there is usually a hug involved. I would be lying if I said that my eyes weren't tearing up as I walked to my car.

Packing... gah! It's getting there. My goal for tomorrow will be to get everything out of my upstairs office room and into boxes, with the exception of my computer which will be a last minute deal. Once that is out of the way, it's just a matter of putting everything in one place and seeing how I can most efficiently pack everything

We just finished our Park family garage sale. I used to love doing garage sales with my parents when I was a little one, but I have been working every saturday since high school, so I haven't been around for one in AGES. Today I was.
We sold so much stuff, and for so cheap. Speaking of cheap, that's the only word to describe most garage salers.
At garage sales, there's a lot of junk, but there's also a LOT of good shit that people just want to be rid of. We sold a fully functioning 18-speed bike for 35$, my guitar with the case for 55$ (the case alone is easily worth 60-70$). But no matter how good of a deal these are, people will almost always try and bargain.
Anyway, the biggest reason for the garage sale was to try and get rid of as much of my old stuff as possible, and I think we were successful!
Before the garage sale, it forced me to go through a lot of my stuff and decide to pack, store, or sell it. Now I think I am in a better position to just pack up what I need and go.
After all, I only have 4 more full days left in the city before I move! And I do think it will take about that much time to get ready...

I was productive yesterday- I bought new jeans and I delivered all the paperwork I needed to get filled out in Winnipeg for my student loan document. I knew that if I didn't get that done before I left, I never would.

Some pictures

A faithful reader had requested a photo of my poster from the RWB, pictures of things in glass encasements don't work very well, so you get 2- one in focus with a bright flash in the middle and another out of focus.
I don't even know if they are clear enough to see what the people wrote, but that's mostly for me anyway.
The poster is 26*32 inches. The span between my armpit and fingers is about 24-25 inches.... so it was incredibly awkward to try and carry down the street, but well worth it!

I know I haven't been posting as much as I usually do, so I apologize. I hope that I will be more consistent after the move. Anyway, I should get back to garage sale organizing and packing and cleaning and whatever else.

I called my cell phone provider today to ask about canceling my phone. I have been out of contract for a few months now, meaning that I've kept the same rate but not locked in. At one point I was just going to call and cancel it for the end of the month, but I'm not completely sure about if I will be getting a landline. Long story short, the lady was super helpful. My service is currently set up to be canceled on the 6'th of September. If I call before that, I can cancel the cancellation and keep my same plan with an Ontario number.
Talking about options.. It might be cheaper to just do pay as you go which could work out closer to 10/15$ per month rather than over 30 that I'm paying now. But, because I'm planning on canceling, if I decide to stay on with them, they offered me 50% off the first 3 months of a new plan.
Hopefully my roommate and I will split a voice over IP phone for super-cheap and I can just cancel my cell phone and not worry about anything. I bought a watch recently, so I don't even need my cellphone as a clock anymore.

Tomorrow is my last day at the ballet, ever. I'm excited. Today I got my framed poster signed by some of my co-workers. I wish that it was signed by more people, but it's hard to get people to do things during the summer. Nevertheless, the poster looks fabulous and there are many a kind word written to and about me on the matte. I got to choose whichever poster I wanted from many many in the ballet publicity office. I ended up choosing one for Carmina Burana which I sang both as a child in the Winnipeg Boy's Choir and with the University Singers more recently... but the poster I have is from 2002, before I even started with the ballet, and not the time I sang with UM in 2004. Oopsie, but it's a marvelous poster. It's huge and takes up too much space, so it won't be coming with me to London, at least not right away.

I finished burning all of my cd's into my laptop so I don't have to bring the actual discs with me; they can live in a filing cabinet downstairs. I also got around to cleaning out another drawer of my desk.
The bottom drawer has had the exclusive purpose over the last few years of housing everything to do with composition that I've been finished with. I had a few revelations as a result of reviewing and organizing these papers.
-I really haven't written very much, only nine pieces of which I would only consider 3 or 4 of them to be of any quality.
-I have learned and improved a lot over these composition attempts.

One of the first pieces I wrote was the piece for First Steps, the dance project from my second year of university. That piece was a double edged sword, marking the beginning of both improvising and composition. The project itself was a glorified way of me organizing my musical/improvisatory thoughts. Originally, I was going to find some pieces of music to play for the choreographer, but then I decided it would be easier to fit music to the choreography. I played some little snippets of music for the choreographer and she liked them. This gave me the permission I needed to play around more at the keyboard. By doing this, I was able to keep what I liked and write it down.
As a direct result, it led to me taking formal composition studies at university and it was my starting point for the structured improvisations that I use for almost every dance class now. I am not saying that I am super awesome at either thing yet, but seeing the amount that I've developed in 3 years is quite exciting.

Anyway, I've avoided packing for long enough.

I am spending a lot of money, but I justify it by saying that it's the last money I'll spend in Winnipeg and I won't be seeing these people for a while, so I need to enjoy myself while I'm still here. But, the purchases keep adding up, and my account balance keeps dwindling little by little. Yesterday, that worried me a bit; Today I am AOK with it!
After I got home from work today, there was a large envelope from an organize through which I had applied for a scholarship/grant. My first thought was that they were sending all my scores back, so I probably didn't get the money. I was right about getting the scores back, but I was wrong about the other part.
I got the bursary/grant! I feel wonderful. Perhaps it is a mistake, but I'm allowing these scholarships to buff my ego and I choose to take them as a sign that my work and my compositions are worthwhile. For now, it's all good; I just have to remember not to have the same personal attachment to grant applications in the future.
Even more than the sense of personal satisfaction with this success, I am extremely happy that I will have a nice chunk of money relatively close to the start of the year. As it stands, tuition is covered by my school scholarship and I have enough money for the initial move and setting up of things in my new apartment. From then on, I would be living on whatever I make from TA-ing. Now, I have a buffer so that I won't need to stress about monthly costs right at the start of my degree... I can leave that until later this year! haha

Today I randomly went to Grand Forks with sister, brother-in-law and Fork. I spent too much money, but it was fun. Mmmmmmexican food and mmmmmmmargaritas for dinner!

Update, yesterday's barbecue DID happen and it was splendid. There was a lot of delicious food and a lot of wonderful people. It was nice to share the evening with Heather and Gareth - it would have been a bit much to have had it only be a going away party for me. Plus I still feel that the evening was even more important as a way of my parents wrapping up the nesting portion of their parenting careers. Now they will finally be emptynesters; I think they are ready for it!

Wow, it's morning now and I'm not hungover. Judging from last night's post, I should be in a lot of pain. I'm not complaining.
I'm about to head off to work.
The bachelor party last night was super fun; I'm sure that if there actually was a bachelor, he would have enjoyed himself.

Let's be honest, I'm drunk!
We had a fale bachelor party tonight. Tomorrow is the fake real think. We will. be camping in rogan park tomorrow night.

There is a friend who lives close by and I don't thinkk that she knows, but it means the world to me that she would be there tomorrow for my [party,.
It is the last time that I will be in town for a party. If she doens't show ups, she might as well say tha she hates me.
Fork - please come or i will probably cry.
Anyway, the moral is that I want people to be hpappy and I will be extremely hung over fotwork tomorrow! yay!!

I'm less hairy!

Apparently, haircuts are always worth blogging about.
I went to my local barbershop and a lady cut my hair. I don't think she's a barber... would she be a barberess, or is barber a non-gendered term?
She did a good job.
She told me that I part my hair the wrong way because my crown is on the other side of my head. This is all news to me, I don't ever comb my hair, I just let it do what it wants, so I blame my head for its mistaken part. She was very meticulous with the buzzer. Unbeknownst to me, I had random nose hairs that she felt the need to buzz away. Vibrations feel funny in the nose.

I don't know how things will turn out, but my sister and her hubby might not be able to come in this weekend due to work, so the barbecue might be nixed. I hope they can come in and that everything goes to plan.

Back to work means I'm in the home stretch now!

I'm working my last bit for the summer. I'm a few days in - meaning that I'm almost done already; this stretch of work only lasts just over 2 weeks.
So much stuff to do before I leave. And I've procrastinated so much already!
I have to admit, the scheduling of these weeks is poor - waking up early, but not working full days = michael is tired and cranky in the morning, without lots of money to justify things.

End of summer financial view = Michael didn't really save wisely this summer so things will most likely be rather tight this coming year - Oopsie!

I'm excited for a family, perhaps secret, barbecue this weekend. My parents are inviting all sorts of people. They told me it was for my sister and husband, but then she's also been inviting my friends. Nevertheless, it will be a big shindig to celebrate one of their children's marriage and new house, and the other's moving away for grad school. It will also be a celebration of my parents retirement and the new era of their life that my leaving will present to them! It will be a wonderful mix of friends, family, neighbours and whomever else shows up!
As I've said before, this is a very exciting time in our families life and I hope that lots of people can come to share in the excitement!

This past weekend I went up to Thompson to visit my sister and brother-in-law. They've been married for about 6 months now and recently bought a house, so this was my opportunity to visit them and see how they will be living for the next while.
It was a wonderful weekend. Their house is very nice and they seem to be living quite well. It was also different from when my sister comes to Winnipeg to visit; rather than fitting back into the role of sister and daughter in the Park house, she has a new role as a wife. I was witness to a wonderful dynamic between the two of them, showing that they are both happy!
They spoiled me rotten. I did my best to clean up after myself and help around the house, but they kept on buying me things and making me food and generally being so generous - I can't wait for the day when I will be in a situation to offer them something in return.

I don't generally watch a lot of those idol-type t.v. shows, but my parents do so I am privy to watching it at dinner every now and again. I had remembered seeing episodes where the judges and guest artists gave helpful suggestions on how the competitors could improve, but I'm convinced that all usefulness has disappeared from the commentary. All that I heard from the experts were raving compliments about how great the singer was doing, or some fickle commentary on how it was disappointing and not up to the standards of the competition - void of any instructions on how to improve.
Now, I can understand this for the live commentary right after the performance: the audience probably doesn't want to hear technical stuff or well, anything other than what they currently get, but when the singer is working just with the pianist and the guest artist.... at least give us the impression that the visitor has something of value to say. Especially since these are hugely successful pop stars, they've all worked with coaches and whatnot in their own careers - show us some of that!
Perhaps, they are right; the audience might not care about HOW the singers get better, BUT if the audience is ignorant as to how the singers can improve, how can they assess the quality? Even giving one element of the performance to improve on would give the audience something to focus on and then see if the singer actually makes improvements on that.
And for fucks sake- STOP SAYING "PITCHY" AND "TUNING"!!!!!!!!! These are vague general terms that can't be used for specific incidences unless you SPECIFY! If the singer is singing out of tune, chances are that they don't know how to make the proper adjustments, if they even know where it happens. Singing sharp and flat are completely different problems requiring completely different solutions. GAH! Fucker Mumbly!

I'm totally not letting illness have any effect on my time in Thompson. I'm having a great time visiting Heather and Gareth: my sister and brother-in-law, respectively.
Today Gareth stayed home and fixed the fence while Heather and I went to Pichou falls (I'm not so certain on spelling) which is a spectacular, though small, waterfall not even an hour south of Thompson; it was breathtaking. After that we went to Paint Lake to see more of the stunning outdoors and nature that surrounds Thompson.
Barbecuing for dinner, going for drinks and playing some pool with friends at a local drinking hole, and coming home to watch a movie on a big screen TV; I submit that there is no more ideal way to spend a Friday! Well, except for the fact that the movie was interrupted by an egging and the pressure washing of windows that ensued. Nevertheless, it all fit into the wonderful charm of the evening.
Who knows what excitement tomorrow has in store! However, I shall need some refreshing sleep before that shall happen...

sicky

So, apparently it wasn't the cookies.
It started yesterday morning and now it's all out sickness. I think it's just a cold, but I can't seem to drink enough water.
I hung out with friends last night- I couldn't hear much of the outdoor conversation and my head was a little loopy so I was not all there. Actually the loopy head thing started more today.
Anyway, I'm hoping this goes away very soon, or at least that I find the pills/cough medicine that will make me feel normal while I'm visiting my sister and brother-in-law.
Wow, summer did that thing again where it flies by so quickly. I leave for Thompson tomorrow and then when I get back to Winnipeg, I'll be working within 2 hours.
At least I'll have a few days after working before I have to move.