sentimental post

Bear with me as I am sentimental for a while.
Earlier this evening I went for a walk with my dog Rex. We went to the park. Specifically, Michael Park took Rex Park to Rogan park. It was nice. It's been quite a while since Rex had been out for a walk because of arthritis and muscular problems. The pace was much slower and relaxed. He stopped to piss on all the fire hydrants between my house and the park. During our walk, I was reminded of bygone days, when he was a puppy and he would be so excited to be out of the yard and would pull me down the street, or how I used to take him to the park and make him go down the slide... (have you ever seen a mid to large sized dog go down a slide? it's really funny). He was the kind of odd puppy that, even though he is a black lab, he was afraid of water, to the extent that he would jump over puddles. I tried to rid him of this fear by giving him swimming lessons in the creek close to my house. I don't think this actually cured him of his fear of water, he probably still harbours some risidual resentment, but thats alright. Regardless, we had a good walk.
I am sad.
When I came home today, besides small talk, my parents told me that Rex was going to the vet tomorrow. He won't be coming home. They scheduled an appointment to have him put down tomorrow at 5:30pm.
For those of you who read my early posts, you might be thinking that this is what I've been waiting for, but it still hurts. Rex has not been well for a very long time. When he was still quite young he had chronic ear infections and tried everything, but he would scratch his ears til they bled. The only solution we found was Steroids. The vet told us he was a little weary about giving him them, because he was young and unless it was at a really low dose, it would have complications later on. Well, we still tried different things, and we tried to use as low a dose as possible, but after like 7 or 10 years we now have a dog that is balding, with no muscles in his torso, and who is on the constant steroid driven prowl for food.
My parents were able to come to this conclusion, because his mobility has been steadily declining, making a few stairs difficult, a whole flight impossible. He has also taken to destructive behaviour like scratching the door frame. It is not that we are not willing to tolerate it, we had taken out the carpet in a room because his steroid related growth/boil burst and he bled on it... We don't blame him for the behaviour, rather it has just become more obvious that he is not comfortable, or enjoying his existence if he is doing things like that.
I have been feeding Rex excessive amounts of dog treats tonight, only partially because we have no need for them without him, but mostly because I love my doggy and want him to be happy. I hope that tomorrow will somehow end his hunger that has had him hunting for fallen food, scraps, leftovers, and pity food.
Near the end of the summer, when my Grandma's health was failing, my family would half joke, half wonder who would win... Rex or Grandma..... as only the morbid humoured Park family would. Well, Grandma made it to the finish line first, but Rex, you get the other gold ribbon for sticking around later!
Im glad my parents know me well enough that despite all the talk and insistence over the last year or so of having Rex put down, that they know I do care, and they didn't rub the decision in.
Anyway, Im gonna go spend some time with my puppy on his last night.