If you've been reading my blog, it's obvious that there are some personal issues going on and I'm generally not happy about that, and I feel bad that I have cause them to surface at a bad time of year, not that there's ever a good time of year for things like that.... I can only hope that the results of my poor actions are treated with as little care as I seemed to have taken in the first place. I sincerely send out warmest wishes and thoughts at this holiday season.
Tonight was Christmas eve, and as per tradition the Park family went over to Grandpa Mitchell's for the one time a year we see the rest of that side of the family. I've never really understood grudges, but i see prime examples of it every year on this night. The relation between my mother and her Brother is not healthy. Nevertheless, over the last few years her brother has become much more civil to our part of the family, certainly because of the arrival of his grandchildren... they seemed to have softened him. Regardless, I dont think my mother will ever forgive him. The children there tonight are delightful. Theres a girl, Madelaine; and a boy Mitchell. The girl is only 4 and already a Cancer survivor. She's kind of shy, but with a wonderful smile and cute and polite. She was I think the first kid to come along since my sister and I were kids... a new generation. I find it amazing, the ability that kids have to entertain a whole room of people with the simple little things they do.
Anyway, it was a rather nice night with some conversation, good food and laughter.
Christmas is an interesting time, a convenient way of taking a snapshot of your life at different points. This year, , well, I was about to say how different it will be fromlast year owing to the death of Grandma and Rex. In all honesty, last year at this time, there wasn't much left of Grandma in terms of personality and whatnot, and Rex was only on our minds as a hassle during the holiday season... keeping food and candy out of reach, trying to keep him quiet with visitors. At this point last year, both of their current conditions were blocking me from enjoying the good memories I have of them. I still miss them both very much, but they are at peace now. I know for certain Rex is in heaven, because they made a movie about it. Im still not sure about the whole god/heaven thing though... and I know grandma enjoyed her drink and her dirty jokes.. especially after a few glasses of wine at christmas.
alas, Santa shall soon be coming to my house, so merry christmas to all, and to all a good night!
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