I'm not really enjoying life today.

My sugars have been really high the last few days, only coming down for brief periods.  I have no keytones, so it's not like my pump isn't working.  They're coming down as we speak - I just plan on not eating for the next few days so that they won't go up again.... Really, if I could do it, I would.

High sugars really make me angry - unbelievably angry!  I want to punch and kick and cry and scream and Argh!  all at the same time!

Other things that add to this feeling are:

Stress - thank you thesis completion month!

Tension - my jaw hates me right now.  Also, on the bus home tonight, I was seriously contemplating the idea of getting an emergency deep-tissue massage tomorrow, but I don't have the time or money for that.

Speaking of, FUCK! due to a smaller than normal paycheque from the dance studio and not getting paid for the extra TAing I did this last month, I have $2.69 to last me the next month.  Thank goodness (and capitalism) for my credit card.

A piece of mine is being performed at a studio recital this weekend.  I went this evening to hear the dress-rehearsal.  Not surprisingly, it was not terribly well-rehearsed, so they were working on staging it and finding notes.  Oh well!  I'm happy with the concept of what they're doing with it, and I'm sure they'll pull it together for Saturday, because I would really really like this recording to turn out well.  The pianist had another obligation halfway through, so I got to sit in at the piano for the second half.  It went well and it reminded me that I want to get back to playing more and accompanying.

In other news - I have the driest fucking nose imaginable!  I never thought that my nose could cause me so much pain, but WOW!  It's constantly bloody, but dried blood which irritates the inside of my painful little nostrils.  Anyway, I bought a humidifier which I've had running yesterday and today.  I haven't noticed a difference yet though.  I want a difference.  I tried moisturizing the inside of my nostrils with a q-tip and some lotion, but then it feels like I have a constant runny nose and then it's hard to not blow out all the lotion into a kleenex.

Anyway, I hate the world just a bit right now, but it's ok, I don't really.