Yesterday morning, I had a first appointment with my new Vancouver endocrinologist. The only complaint I have is that it was at 9 in the morning!

Obviously they don't know me very well. Really - first thing in the morning? hours before I normally wake up? What silly scheduling!

He was super nice and our diabetes aesthetic approaches are in line - something I've lost sight of recently:

Diabetes should be something that is incorporated into one's daily life. Considering it is something that you'll live with for the rest of your life, obsessing over it will cause more stress than it will benefit.

Over these last few years, I've been getting more and more caught up in the diabetes blogosphere which seems to be characterized by the control-obsessed minority if diabetics out there (no offense intended). I'm certainly not defending the considerable portion of the diabetic population who are ignorant of their own condition and don't put in the effort to make any improvements whatsoever, but I notice myself obsessing and it leads me - not to improvements, but apathy.

There are many routes to success in life and diabetes. At this point in the road, it's good to remind myself that the obsessive route isn't the one for me. The route of regularity is also not mine, at least not at this point in my life... I'll continue to search out my route; maybe I've already found it and just need the words to describe it. Who knows?!

Am I Superstitious?

I'm not really a superstitious person.

With that said, I'm sure that some great tragedy is going to befall me next Sunday.

For Sonic Boom, I'm playing in a quartet - piano, violin, cello, and clarinet. Slowly, each member of the ensemble has been picked off with an instance of bad luck.

Rehearsal One:

Violinist arrives frazzled, having rushed to find a replacement instrument after their violin mysteriously went missing.

Rehearsal Two:

Cancelled the morning of; cellist goes to hospital with severe stomach pain.

Rehearsal Three:

Clarinetist arrives frazzled, having been in a mild-to-moderate car accident earlier that day.

Rehearsal Four:

To be continued...

Pianotastic!

Here is the promotional poster for Sonic Boom 2010.

The festival is fast approaching and I am excited to be a part of it in different capacities - I will have one of my own pieces performed, as well as I will be playing in 4 pieces as a pianist.

April 8th is the day to remember, so if you're in Vancouver, come on out to The Western Front.

The first 2 weeks of April will be very intense for me - a full-day ballet workshop, Sonic Boom, and accompanying a violin recital, but I'm up for the challenge!

The rest of the month doesn't really calm down much. A final student composer concert to help organize, the premiere of my new choral pieces, and wrapping up the academic year will keep me on my toes.

In other news, I have an appointment with my new endocrinologist on Monday at 9am. First off - why so early?!?!?! Second, I almost forgot. The bloodwork is from a while ago, so good thing I didn't have to do fresh stuff. 2 days of sugar/food records will just have to be enough. in all honest, diabetes apathy is at an all-time high - I haven't seen a diabetic counsellor or social worker in a long time and I think it's about time I change that. I WANT diabetes to be more or a priority than I've let it be lately, I just need help to make that happen.

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I would like lately... I'll try to have little updates more often.

Two new additions to the living room.

1)The long-awaited piano.

It makes me incredibly happy! The silent feature is awesome and there are not enough words to describe how helpful it is and will be.

It looks super shiny, but it's actually 32 years old - I checked the serial number and it was made sometime in 1978. Nevertheless, it sounds good and the action is clean and responsive. With a big concert only 2 and a half weeks away, it could not wait any longer.

Sitting on the music stand is the newest knit creation. His name, in my mind, shall be Teddy Chach. I made him for a friend who is expecting a baby any day now. It was a bit of a fiasco getting the stuffing... I called about 5 or 6 craft places within reasonable travel distance, but they were all sold out and waiting on backorders for the last 2 or 3 weeks. I imagine that there was some kind of trade embargo on polyester, probably stemming all the way from the 60's, something to do with leisure suits...

Anyway, I finally got a call from one of the stores, informing me that they had finally gotten the shipment in, but it was too late. My mother solved the situation. She sent me an Easter care package which was tenderly packed with polyfil stuffing! It was the perfect amount to stuff Teddy Chach and some left over for my next project!

Anyway, things are going well and my roommate and I are both excited to have the piano in the apartment, though it means we have to redecorate/shift furniture around, but that's not much of an inconvenience!

excitement!

So, this had better be the last post I have to write about being excited for my piano....

I finally have the money put in the right places.

Despite my schedule running almost straight through from 11am-8pm, I'm going to try to squeeze half an hour in at the piano store so that I can get the paperwork done for the rental. Hopefully, I'll be able to get it delivered by the end of the week, or weekend.

Minestrone Soup

So, I mentioned that I was going to make Minestrone soup a while ago. It took me a while to get around to it, but I did it today!

Actually, instead of using my big soup pot, I used the other toy I bought from the thrift shop that day - my slow cooker!

Here's the recipe, to start.

I made a few changes... well, a lot... but it turned out super delicious!

I used a different brand of Italian dressing, sorry Kraft.

I didn't have celery at all, so I left it out.

For carrots, I picked them out of my frozen California mixed vegetables.

I used chicken broth instead of vegetable, and I got confused as to whether all broth is concentrated, which I've concluded it is if it comes from a can.

I used egg noodles instead of pasta and I completely forgot the parmesan cheese and Italian seasoning, though I have some parmesan that I can add into it when I eat it.

The biggest problem though, was that the recipe was meant for a much larger slow cooker... there was actually no room for any water. I cooked it anyway and then I just added water when I served myself a bowl.

I'm actually happy it turned out that way; it tasted great AND now it will be easier to store - it's like a canned soup, just add water and heat!

In conclusion - the recipe was SUPER EASY and tastes great.

I'm super glad my slow cooker didn't start a fire - you never know what you're getting from the thrift shop...

In another conclusion, slow cookers are the greatest thing ever - The soup literally only took 15-20 minutes of prep and then it was delicious the next time I opened it up! Best investment ever!

a weekend for resting

So, last weekend, I did 90% of the work for my choral piece - I had set the deadline as Monday. Saturday night, I was up until 8am before sleeping and then I finished the piece around 4am Sunday night/Monday morning.

Next on my list was a paper due on Thursday. It took me all of Monday and Tuesday to do the readings. I figured I had all day Wednesday to write the paper, but surprise, I had classes and teaching in the evening. I got a wee bit done, but it wasn't until around 9 or 10 that I started writing. It wasn't that long of a paper, but it took me until 10 am to finish. I gave it a quick once-over to make sure it made sense, printed it.

I set every alarm I had in my room and went to sleep, knowing I could get 2 hours of sleep before class at 1:30. The class was very long, I drank a lot of coffee and I made it through the day, going to bed at a normal time.

I slept for 11 hours and it was great!

Even though I'm not tired tired, I'm feeling a little worn down.

(oops, started writing this hours ago and forgot to publish, so I'm publishing now and not finishing this train of thought...)

I was up until 8am last night. I then slept into the afternoon and started working again. It is 1am right now and I feel very close to being finished. This has been an intense end of the weekend, but I feel enlivened. I need to remember to not get myself caught up in writer's block or procrastination - it's much more rewarding to just ignore them. Let's hope I can remember that when I don't have deadlines looming.

Tonight will see a much earlier pillow-time, but the deadlines aren't gone for another few days. Once this piece is finished, there are many articles to read and a paper to write, as well as piano pieces to learn, etc.

Good night!

I'm actually getting work done tonight and I think I can get the piece finished this weekend.

In other news, I got lightbulbs today.

Normally, this wouldn't be newsworthy, but I had been without switch-operated lighting for over a week. Just days before the ceiling light burnt out, I had bought a floor lamp for my room; because of this, I did not treat the light burning out as the tragedy it truly was. For a short while, since we had an electrician staying on our couch, I debated the possibility of changing the wiring so that the light switch would control my lamp as a viable alternative to getting new light bulbs. Laziness prevented this from actually occurring.

Since going off the pump, I've been using Lantus from the 10ml vials. While the syringes were a nice reminiscence for a bit, I've been missing my fancy Eli Lilly pen that I was using for Lantus when I was in Ontario. I hope I just left this in Winnipeg during the move, and didn't throw it out. Anyway, I can't make sense of why, because I store it in the fridge, but the vials of Lantus seem to be expiring or losing efficacy near the end of each vial... after 2 days of high sugars, I finally switch bottles and my sugars magically return to normal. Long story short, they now have the Lantus in prefilled pens - 5*3ml - and I got those yesterday. They actually include a disposable pen with each cartridge - seems a little wasteful, but then again, what isn't wasteful about prescription packaging! While these pens aren't as nice as the Lily one, they're decent - a big step up from the previous Solo star pen I used a few years back!

Oops, I got distracted - back to work with me!

Procrastination has been high lately, mostly because I have to finish a choral piece this weekend... ie by tomorrow. It's a monumental amount of work, but I'll make it happen. I'm already a week behind my personal deadline for this piece, and I'm not willing to postpone again!

I went with my roommate and a friend to Costco today. I bought lots of diet coke, so all-nighters will be fueled this weekend.

Piano rental shopping was a little ridiculous. Last year, my roommate and I paid for delivery in advance and then paid a monthly rental rate, ca 35$/month. At the first place I went, the rate for the piano I wanted was 59$/month, but they had a 500$ non-negotiable deposit. I was not expecting this, so I couldn't just go ahead. At the second place I looked, they had no deposit, but the rental rate was a whopping 180$/month for a similar piano. I called a few other places to find out that they mostly all have similar deposits, so I will suck it up and rent from the first place.

Now, about the piano:

Yamaha Silent Piano, google it!

Apparently, the technology has been around for 20 years, but no-one really knows or talks about it. There are tons of forums online for people looking for a good quality digital piano because they need it to be silent, but they're unsatisfied with the action/feel. For a long time, 'apartment pianos' have a mechanism that puts a felt cloth between the hammers and the strings so that it sounds a lot quieter, but this slows down the hammer movement and it's still audible.

The piano I will be getting is actually SILENT! With the silent pedal engaged, the hammers stop a few millimeters short of the keys - you get the same feel of the piano action, but none of the sound. At the same time, there are optical sensors underneath, translating the key and pedal motions into midi information. It has midi in/out so I can make the piano sound however I like through the speakers, but more importantly I can hook it up to do notation on my computer. Basically, the piano has everything I could want. When I get my next paycheck, I'll be acquiring said piano!

Ok, back to composing...!

lab results are in...

I got a referral appointment acceptance letter from my new Endocrinologist's office today. That was super quick, but I guess they were just waiting for the results from my latest bloodwork.

Speaking of, I also got the results of said bloodwork, which was for Cholesterol and Creatine. My creatine is fine, but cholesterol is teetering just barely outside of the happy range.

[Michael, take this as a kick in the butt and make that lifestyle change thing happen!!]

I'm not sure if it's so bad that they'll be putting me on a prescription, but I'm hoping I'll get an ultimatum. As in, I want to give myself that ultimatum, but it sounds more convincing from a doctor...

In reading up on how to raise my good cholesterol and lower my bad, I found that people should avoid a diet where the majority of calories come from carbohydrates...

I know the answer, but is it bad that my brain followed the logic thusly:

'Grain alcohols like rye have calories but no carbs, maybe I should just drink more...'?

I know it seems like I'm treating this too flippantly, but welcome to diabetic apathy! I'm fighting it every step of the way.

Fin des olympiques!

After a relaxing two-week reading break, the Olympics have come to a close. In their wake, I have an Olympic amount of work coming at me this week.

I will be finishing the second of my two choral pieces within the next few days.

On Thursday, I will be presenting/leading the discussion in my seminar class.

For my contemporary players course, I will start learning one or two new pieces to be performed sometime this next month or two.

I will be learning 4 pieces (one of those is my own Piano Trio) for the Sonic Boom new music festival, to be performed on April 8th.

I still need to line up a baritone for my conversational piece 'Gramps Ain't No Namby-Pamby'.

I will be teaching piano lessons on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.

Because of the piano-heavy nature of my tasks that lie ahead, I'm going tomorrow piano shopping. Ish. The piano-teaching income, in addition to helping pay down debt, will free up some budget room to rent a piano. I've been finding it increasingly hard to survive without a piano. Nevertheless, I have and I will continue to do so, for a short while longer. With any luck, I'll have a piano by next week!

Often times, I read online about other bloggers who grew up with diabetes. They have a special, close connection with their parents - specific to diabetes.

I am jealous of that.

Whenever I talk to my parents about diabetes, it's not much different than talking to strangers. They have some basic knowledge about it, but it's from standards that were in practice 10-20 years ago. I also get frustrated, because they treat my diabetes like they did when I was 12...

This is my own doing.

I'd always been a decently well-behaved kid, but I was fiercely stubborn and independent. In my teens, this became even more prominent. At some point, my parents much have perceived an ultimatum:

'Do we continue pressing Michael for information, struggling to get blood-sugars out of him, peering over his shoulder to see what his reading was, reminding him to test, asking him to write down his BGs, take his insulin?

or should we trust that he can take care of himself and hope that he will become slightly more open?'

I don't want anyone to mistake the second option for 'giving up' because it certainly isn't. They knew that I was testing regularly and taking my insulin. I had shown that I was proactive, I would get my own juice if I was low, they would find juice boxes and granola bar wrappers lying around which they knew meant I had treated a low. Looking back, it's clear that they were trying to have an open dialogue with me about my diabetes. It's even more clear that I wasn't ready or willing to have that at that time.

My parents chose the second option. They pulled back and stopped pestering little Michael. I was relieved and happy. I continued doing everything the same, maintaining decent control and strengthening my independence and problem-solving abilities.

Reverse psychology actually worked - I started writing my BGs down in the book. When they weren't always asking to see my glucose book, I was more free about leaving it lying around. I honestly don't know if they were looking at it or not when I wasn't around.

Because of this new freedom, things got better; everyone was more relaxed and our non-diabetes relationship improved. Diabetes was my private, autonomous area.

Now, this is the part I regret....

Independence turned to isolation.

While I was opening up, I wasn't making it apparent. I secretly craved that overseeing that I had fought so hard against. Nevertheless, I continued to do everything myself. Every successful diabetic moment reinforced my independence. Where my parents had once attended Endocrinologist appointments with me, now they were only getting the A1C number. As long as that number wasn't going up, they were happy. That became their sole measure of my diabetes, and it started to have less and less tangible meaning. It certainly had no bearing on my day-to-day life.

This is where my parents and I are today, and have been for the last decade or so.

I love them dearly and I'm grateful that they've helped me become so independent.

I just feel that there is no one in the world who knows about my diabetes. I remember once being in the hospital and the doctor wanted to take me off long-acting insulin and put me on a drip. I was naive enough to think that they knew what they were doing. It was the worst control I've ever been under!

Sometimes you just want to feel like there's someone out there that's got your back...

One more thing - I love(/hate) the online community, but even there, there are so few friends who share my situation. Most diabetic bloggers are people who've come into it later in the game. I only have one real life friend and follow one blogger (Kerri at SUM) who are Type 1 since childhood. It may seem super picky, but I think when you were diagnosed makes a huge difference in how you live your life.

Ok, enough blabbering for today. I don't intend to sounds down on myself here, I just realized that I've never blogged about this in detail and it's something that is a huge part of me as a person.

Post 950

As the first half of my Olympic sized (2 week) reading week comes to a close, I realize just how little I've gotten done, and how quickly time passes!

I've gotten some stuff done, but the bulk of everything will happen this week.

Keeping me looking forward is the confirmation of my first professional, paid engagement as a pianist. Though I've been paid to play piano before, that was always within the educational system - school recitals or festivals.

I will have more details as they come together, but I will be playing three pieces in a concert at one of Vancouver's new music festivals in April.

I'm reasonably certain that getting this gig had something to do with the success of the 'Michael Park and Friends' concert, which was one of my intentions: to promote myself through that concert in order to get further professional opportunities. While the upcoming concert is an end in itself, it also presents further opportunities to promote myself for additional opportunities. Hooray for feet in doors!

In other news, one of my nearest and dearest friends recently got engaged. Suffice it to say, no one ever thought they would see the day that she would settle down, but that day has come! This is such exciting and happy news, I can't wait for the extravagant party that will ensue!

Slowly getting into the Olympic spirit

I'm not a big sports person... that is, I'm not really interested in sports at all.

The Olympics haven't really changed that, but I'm getting more into the Olympic spirit. I've even watched a few events with online streaming; more accurately, I've looked at the screen and paid slight attention when my roommate is engulfed in the events coverage.

It can be argued that the olympics have had either a terrible or wonderful effect on my sleeping habits. This is because I am taking advantage of the free things that the city has to offer lately.

The other day, I went zip-lining over downtown Vancouver!

Click here to see a video of me kicking/flailing/screaming.

It was free, but you had to wait in line to beat the crowd. It opened at 10am, so we got there at 7:45 am to secure our spot in the line. There were about 40 people in front of u

s, so we we zipping sometime just before 11 am.

I drank a lot of coffee, but it was still super early for me!

Tonight, I am faced with a similar challenge - another fantastic opportunity tomorrow morning. Some friends and I are going to see a taping of Stephen Colbert, but they tape at 9am, so we're leaving at 7:15 am... YIKES! Nevertheless, he is my favourite television personality so I will surely be there!

Ok, enough about the mornings.

There is a new addition to my animal family: a teddy bear.

His name is Ghetto Bear.

He is pretty awesome, in case you can't tell.

My roommate made his sunglasses because I am not good at making eyes and noses. They were creepy, but now they're cool!

Much like the elephant, he has multiple colours.

It's hard to have enough yarn for a whole project...

There is another bear that is all one colour in the works. I'm just waiting to get fiberfill instead of plastic bags because I'll be giving that one to an infant - safety first!

Anyway, off to bed for me; nobody wants a cranky Mikey tomorrow.

The Low that Your Body Fights!

Yesterday, I did an intense Kung Fu class. I ache from over-using muscles I didn't even know I had, haha!

Exercise effects you differently depending on intensity, but this time my sugars were elevated for the rest of the day. They had come down in the evening and before going to bed, they seemed to stabilize around 5.6 mmol. I went to bed sore from Kung Fu, but comfortable.

About an hour later, I woke up cold and my jaw was shaking, feeling kind of nauseous. I had a feeling I was low so I tested and was 5.4 - certainly not low enough for this reaction and seemed to be stable. I drank some water and readied myself for vomiting, but that just wasn't right. I tested with another machine and I was 5.7 - everything seemed stable as a mule.

Luckily, I've had this type of low before - the only reason your sugars are stable is because your body is turning its glycogen into glucose like nobody's business! This takes a LOT out of your body, so you feel horrible.

I was so tired, but I couldn't allow myself to sleep - my body couldn't keep it up; if I went to sleep, I likely wouldn't wake up.

I poured myself a glass of juice and drank it. Testing a few minutes later - 4.3 and dropping.

Long story short, I spent the next hour drinking juice and occasional granola bars. I would test every once in a while, but my sugars were staying the same. I stopped when my sugars went up to 7.5 and seemed to stay there between tests.

I must have consumed at least 150 carbs last night (likely more) to treat this massive low.

The rest of the night sucked. I woke up every few hours and I was unbelievably sore. Part of that was due to Kung Fu, but a lot of it was leftover from the toll this low took on my body.

In other news, today I bought a crock pot AND a stock pot from the local thrift shop!

I think I'm going to try my hand at a minestrone soup sometime in the next few days. There are a lot of recipes out there that seem quite different from each other, so I'd love to hear any recommendations.

I'm falling behind...

I'm falling behind... in my blogging, that is.

I've been doing pretty well with keeping up with my studies and all that.

The 'Michael Park and Friends' concert last week was a great success. I felt very happy with the performances, it was well attended, and from what I gather, it was well liked.

I'm currently writing a pair of songs for a choir at school. They will start working hard on them after reading break. I have one of them completed and handed in so they can look at it during the final rehearsal before break, and I'll finish the other over break.

I feel like everything in life is sorta, finally coming together.

Through Manitoba connections, I have a performance lined up for my thesis... 3.5 years down the road. It seems ridiculously early, but foresight is the key!

I've been teaching piano a lot lately - subbing for a friend. In addition, I have 3 students of my own that I teach privately, and I just got a job at a studio. Only one student to start, but it promises to start adding up - and it better; the studio is an hour away from home. The current 2 hours of travel time for half an hour of teaching seems like a bad balance... If I can get a few hours or more on one night, that would be incredibly helpful. The added income is welcomed, and becoming more of a priority!

This has been a busy, and slightly stressful, first half of the term, but next week is reading break and the Olympics. After the break, there will only be a month of class left in the first year of my DMA!

Anyway, let's not get ahead of ourself, Michael...

busy, busy

Around this weekend, I have three performances. I played the first one earlier today, I'm playing a Haiti benefit concert on Sunday, and the main event is my recital on Monday.

It seems the theme of my performing life has been NEW.

The pieces are new to the world - newly composed and some of them are even premieres. It's interesting to think - since some of the pieces are being recorded by the composers, I am setting a precedent for how the piece should be played. Performers often like to consult recordings of pieces they're learning, and even if they listen to mine and say, 'I hate the way he played that phrase!', I find it exciting to be part of the process.

The pieces are also new to me, in some cases very new. The longest I've been working on any of the pieces has been less than two months - learning notes over Christmas break. The shortest was a piece I played today, for which I only got the part on Monday. A few of the pieces I'm playing will only have one or two rehearsals as an ensemble before presenting them in a few days. At first, I was worried about trying to pull it together so haphazardly, but things are turning out very well so far. I definitely like this new faster pace.

When I think back to myself as a pianist just a few years ago, I played only a few pieces that were written within my lifetime, the majority of pieces I played were over a century old. They were also often played; for every piece, there were multiple recordings that I could consult. I was also much slower to learn music. Pieces and recitals fit nicely into academic years, where it took 3-6 months to learn a piece well enough to perform it.

As I am here, in the midst of a performing weekend, I can confidently say that I love the new; I love all the challenges and rewards it brings.

So little time...

It's not overwhelming, and I still feel pretty in control, but I'm getting a wee bit uppity about some upcoming things.

On Friday, I am playing at a new music university conference at Simon Fraser University, representing UBC in a couple of pieces. I just got the score for one of the pieces the other day and I haven't taken it to the piano yet. It won't be hard to pull together for the performance, but I'm not exactly thrilled about a last-minute addition in what is already a busy week.

In terms of the 'Michael Park and Friends' concert, I feel pretty prepared for myself, but this week will feature 2 first rehearsals. Long story short, this week will simply be spent largely at the piano.

I need to spend some quality time with my 'Alzheimer Variations'. I wrote them and have played them once before in concert, so I haven't worked on them much recently. There are some difficulties that I need to work out, however, before I perform them this time around.

Of course, there is also school. Over last weekend, I became exceedingly stressed that I would have to add on a whole extra course, over an already full courseload. After all the huffing and puffing, nothing has changed; I just wasted a lot of time and breath...

While this is a fairly stressful time, I'm enjoying it. Keeping me going are the promising opportunities that are on the horizon.

Oh, I forgot to mention, over the last week and a half, I've had two sets of friends staying at my apartment. Fun times have ensued, but I would be lying if I said it didn't have an impact on how much time I've spent working. Nevertheless, it's definitely been worth it!

Is numbing good?

I'm getting better at dealing with poverty.

I hit a low point this summer when I moved across the country without really having enough money. I broke down and cried in front of my new roommate. I rarely cry, and I can't remember the last time it was so sincere and in front of someone.

It was because I realized I was powerless, pitiful; I didn't have the money to do things I needed to do. Not having money for things I want... sure it sucks, but hardly worth getting upset over. Foreseeing that I couldn't afford rent or food or drugs upon arriving - that got me.

Today, it was going to the pharmacy and having my debit card declined. But it was different, the embarrassment and helplessness weren't nearly as strong.

I took off the non-prescription items, but the prescriptions still cost more than I had. I walked home to check out finances online. I felt a tinge of worry and the same feelings from earlier this summer, but numbed. I'm glad that I'm not letting this interfere as much with my life, but I generally don't like being numbed.

It bothers me that some people can watch extreme violence in movies simply because they've seen it so much. The idea that you can be moved less after hearing a piece of music over and over prevents me from obsessing.

But for now, I'm all right with feeling less worry, less pain, less anxiety.

In other news, things are going pretty well. I'm getting lots read, written, and even playing lots!

A Day of Opportunities

I was awoken this morning by a phone call. Long story short, I now have 2 piano students back-to-back on Fridays. I've been wanting to teach piano for the last few years, but the opportunities didn't present themselves easily and I just couldn't have made it a priority - especially without having a decent piano where I live. I will be going to their house for weekly lessons, which is not ideal, but they live decently close.

I'm glad that this adds two wonderful things to my life: Structure and Finances!

The concert I will be playing on Feb. 1st is coming together, slow but sure. Also, there were some mentions today of other opportunities for the Composers' Collective, through which I could likely pursue my piano career. I feel good about myself as a pianist - quite a difference from how I was feeling fresh out of my undergrad.

So far this year, I've played two concerts, both of which had only one or two pieces. On the Feb 1st concert, I will be playing for about 40 minutes in five different pieces. It will be a definite step up: a greater challenge. There's lots of work to do yet, and 3 weeks in which to get it done!

A New Friend

Never satisfied to knit just the standards, scarves and mittens, I've taken on more interesting projects. Over the last few years, and especially since moving to Vancouver, I've been knitting stuffed toys. We have lots of room above the cupboards in our kitchen, so a jungle is growing there.

Lady Chach is the newest addition to the jungle.

One of my friends is expecting a second child. When they asked his daughter for name suggestions, she said 'Lady Chach". As they will not likely use that name for their child, I have taken it as the perfect name for this dandy little boy elephant!

The tale of Lady Chach, is longer than the tail of Lady Chach, which you can't actually see in the picture, but you get the point...

Lady Chach seemed destined for failure, almost from the outset. The pattern was poorly written and had mistakes throughout. I didn't have grey yarn, so I figured that pink would do. As the knitting went on, I ran out of the original pink, so I had to switch to a different shade of pink, then a fuzzy pinkish yarn, and blue for the foot pads. When it came time for the ears, a darker rose colour and purple were necessary. Before Lady Chach was suggested, he was destined to be called Patches.

Because of the constant problems with his creation, I cursed poor Lady Chach the whole time. Through his light coloured pink skin, you can see some of the darker coloured shopping bags with which he is stuffed.

Lady Chach is far from perfection, but I love him anyway!

He's just so damned adorable with his extremely dilated pupils and effeminate lashes!

For now, he's taken up residence on top of the stove fan/light, but things are always changing in the jungle. My roommate and I have plans in the not-so-short-term future to make a delightful stop motion film with the animals. Who knows what other creatures will be around by the time that happens.

For now, here is a listing of the current jungle inhabitants:

Lady Chach, the elephant

Penquin, the penguin

Pigette, the pig

a blue and yellow poison-dart tree frog

an owl

and Leo, the lion

Eventually, I'll get more pictures, but for now they need to get their sleep. And I just might follow their lead.

Golden Girls

I can't remember if it was my mom or my grandma that used to watch it, but I recall seeing the Golden Girls at various times. Now, I don't need to recall, because I can just watch it!

It started in Winnipeg; one of the channels was showing a seemingly non-stop Golden Girls marathon. One episode became two, two became three, and so forth.

Now, I'm working my way sequentially through the series. It will take a while, but it's good to know I have 4 great friends willing to help me through the coming months of procrastination!

As you may know, sometimes I don't get jokes and I need a diagram to explain....

Rose is amazing! Betty White's portrayal of dumb and naive is inspirational.

Every once in a while, I'm reminded:

I am addicted to Diet Coke.

It's not just the caffeine; for the first few days back, I've been having my Coffee Pu'ehr tea, which is great and delicious, but I've still been getting irritable and headachy.

I bought a bottle today and drinking it made me feel so good.

Addiction, yes. Problem, uncertain...

I don't see how this actually could be a problem. Some might say the cancer thing, but I've been drinking it since I was 8 - I figure the damage is already done.

Just in case you need something to moo or howl about, my last diet coke before today was before my flight on Saturday morning...

at 6:45 am!!!

Take that, 10am History and Theory classes!

Feeling 'Home'

Stepping out of the airport into -30 air

lungs freezing, burning, freezing

This is Winnipeg

sitting in the back of my parents' Impala which has driven me from one side of the city to the other

watching the cold bobble-headed pig slide across the dash

This is the Winnipeg I know

watching through the frosted window, familiar scenes with subtle shifts

arriving home, entering a house filled with memories

and doilies

sleeping on a daybed, steps away from the room where I spent so many years.

This is the Winnipeg I know, but it's different

visiting

seeing friends

meeting acquaintances

spending time with remnants of a past

This is the Winnipeg I knew, but it's different, distant

Stepping out of the airport into rain-scented air

arms and back aching with the weight of luggage

carrying an old life into a new city,

little by little

This is a city I barely know, but it's familiar, closer

sitting on a bus, like a direct road to home

bags feeling lighter as the key unlocks the door

here I am

This is the city I know.

Magic!

What is it about magic that is so captivating?

I went to a big, shiny, dazzling spectacle of a magic show today. Two hours of pretty much every kind of trick you can imagine - Vegas style, with backup dancers and a moderately-modestly scantily-clad assistant.

It's not that I'm skeptical, but I spent most of the time trying to see the trick, trying to figure out how it's done. Mostly, I wouldn't want to be a naive observer.

At the same time, I don't want to know:

I remember when a bunch of my friends were into magic tricks as kids. I learned a few, but I was never able to get satisfaction from pulling the wool over other people's eyes. Once I understand the trick, it's ruined for me. Call me selfish, but I want to remain ignorant so I have claim to that sense of wonder.

After the magic show, I went for some food with a group of people I went to music school with. It was a delightful time and I loved hanging out with some of my most devoted readers.

A magical shout-out to Chief No-Balls, The Illustrious D, and a delightful Pet Wolf/Cow!

I believe I'll be spending new year's with the same group of people, so I'll leave that for another day.

Who knows if I'll have a chance to post again tomorrow, so 2009, I bid you adieu!

Here we go 2010!

Flavour Tripping

Have you ever heard of Miracle Berries?

They are pretty nifty!

Miracle berries make anything that would normally be sour, taste sweet. I ate slices of lemon, lime, grapefruit, oranges, and blackberries. They were incredibly sweet and delicious. I also had a sizable sprinkle of salt, which was an interesting experience; it made me salivate like you do when you have something salty, but it didn't taste overly salty.

It also took the bite off of some normally unpleasant liquids!

I hate vinegar. I hate vinegar a lot! I smelled the vinegar in the little shot glass and it smelled horrible, as usual, but then I sipped it and it was not disgusting at all. I won't say it was delicious, but it was completely different. I also drank scotch and rye - they had no bite whatsoever. This could be very dangerous... but I stayed moderate.

In conclusion, the effect was pretty super. At the same time, it reminded me that I'm not such a big fan of sweetness. Sure, I like 'sweets' as much as the next guy, but this was more of that puckery, sickly sweet sensation - a little too much for my tastes. Nevertheless, I do recommend giving it a whirl.

Happy tripping, my flavourful friends!

Already finished with Christmas!

My parents just left to drive my sister and brother-in-law to the airport in Grand Forks. I am staying at home with the puppy dog.

I love my puppy niece. We're sitting together on the couch, having quiet time. She has separation anxiety, so having 4 of the 5 people in the house leaving at the same time was rather upsetting. I took her for a walk while they were leaving - it made thing quite a bit earlier. Nevertheless, she's a little mopey because she can tell that her parents have left.

Anyway, back to this post's title. Because H and G are gone for the holidays, we did Christmas dinner yesterday and presents this morning. My parents and I will still go to my grandpa's for Christmas eve, but it's nice to be done with the holidays.

Rather, it extends them - extra joyousness for everyone!

A Christmas like the olden days.

I did all of my Christmas shopping today. It went by quickly because I had a very limited budget - 20$ per person for my mom, dad, and sister-and-brother-in-law.

This is the lowest Christmas budget I've had since maybe early high school or I don't know when...

When I was in high school, my sister and I were both working part-time jobs where other than 'savings', 100% of that income was expendible. I expended a lot closer to that 100% than my sister, but that's a different story altogether. Since that point, the amount we've spent on gifts for each other as a family has gone up and up. The last few years, while living in Ontario, I shouldn't have spent as much as I did, but I did anyway. Even though everyone knew my student-esque financial situation, I felt I needed to give generously anyway...

This year, I chose my budget only because that is all the money I COULD spend. Now I have literally JUST enough to pay tuition in January, not bounce a cheque that should be cashed in the next few days, and make a minimum payment on my credit card.

Now, I'm doing something that I've been thinking about for a while, but haven't had the courage to actually do - I'm taking my debit and credit card out of my wallet and leaving them at home.

It's two weeks until my payday, for which the money is already spoken. I might get some pity money from my parents, or something in christmas cards, but I'm not counting on anything.

This is going to be the christmas of no spending.

Term is almost over...

I fly to Winnipeg on Tuesday.

I have a paper due on Tuesday.

I hope that the paper doesn't take until the very last minute because I'll need to pack, but we'll see.

I'm looking forward to friends and family, just not the cold. I think I'm becoming a wimp with weather. That Winnipeg-bred boy is disappearing. Oh well, I love an excuse to wear hand-knit items... er... winter ones...

It's really hard to believe the term went by so quickly.

Anyway, I'll post from Winnipeg in a few days.

For now, I need to work hard!

Lifesavers, my lifesavers.

The Illustrious D brought up a good point when he asked about the diabetes sponsorship placement program. I suppose it's not a real program, per se, but one of the biggest happenstance sponsors of diabetes is...

Lifesavers Candy!

These have been a part of my life since I was diagnosed. I'm sure I had them before, but in my mind they are tied very strongly to my condition.

They are what they are: Pure Sugar!

I know there are other products that are aimed specifically at treating low bloodsugars in diabetics, but I think these maintain a high rank amongst diabetics.

My standard for treating a low is orange juice, but lifesavers are perfect for when juice is not handy. Juiceboxes are handy ish, but lifesavers won't burst open and make everything sticky in your backpack if you sit on it... (Thanks grade 3!)

Growing up, mom always had a pack in her purse. Now, there's a pack in my jacket pocket or bag at all times.

No, this isn't one of those cheesey MasterCard commercials from a few years back. Just a boy proclaiming his love for those sweet little circles!

I made it up and down the mountain and home again safely! The picture above was taken at the summing of Mount Gardner, on the helicopter pad.

I should have posted earlier when I was super positive about it. I'm still mostly super positive about it, but I'm getting exponentially sorer as the evening progresses. I think I'm going to down some advil and have an early night.

I had been worried about my sugars last night, but I woke up at 8.9 - a healthy enough number. I corrected and eventually had a timmy ho's breakfast sandwich to start the day off with protein. By the time we started the hike, they were down a bit and not long into the hike they were establishing that downward pattern so I started munching on the lifesavers.

Just under an hour in, I started eating a granola bar. My mouth was getting dry, I felt my sugars moving down and I was weak - I stopped and passionately told my friends that I was having serious doubts that I would be making it to the top of the mountain. I could not ask for better hiking friends. They reassured me and told me we could take as many breaks as I needed. I stopped, drank water, ate lifesavers and felt better. After a few minutes, I was happy with my sugars and we continued. A mixture of dehydration and lowering sugars does not make for a functional hiker.

Long story short, I pulled through and made it to the top, frolicked a bit, shivered because of exposed winds and impressed myself and friends at how well I did.

Diabetes: We hiked for almost 4 and a half hours. During this time, I took NO insulin and I ingested 2 packs of lifesavers, half a granola bar, and 1.5 sandwiches; about 115 carbs. My sugars never went above 6.7 or below 3.9. This, was even with the considerable decrease in Lantus, my background insulin.

Diabetes management is so much easier when you are constantly exercising vigorously. I am reminded of the summer when I worked in a factory - I barely needed any insulin aside from the background insulin.

Yet, another reason I should exercise more...

Anyway, I'm sore now, but it was well worth it. I look forward to more hiking in the new year.

I'll be comin' round the mountain...

It's quarter after 11 and I'm getting ready for bed. This is unprecedented!

Tomorrow, I am meeting a small group at 7am to go hiking up Mount Gardner. I don't know much about what these numbers mean, but it's about 600M up and the length of the trail is 17 kilometers-ish. We're going to do it at a leisurely pace, 6 hours roundtrip.

Living so close to these magnificent chunks of rock, it's something I need to do. Why wouldn't you?!?

As someone who is out-of-shape, I'm a little worried. Nevertheless, I'm treating this as an opportunity. Either I'll be surprised at myself tomorrow and gain self-confidence, or it'll be the kick in the ass I need to get myself to be more active!

As a diabetic, there's lots to think about.

Any kind of extended exercise wreaks havoc on sugars. I remember one day, walking around downtown Vancouver for a few hours - I turned my insulin pump off and my sugars were still plummeting.

I'm packing lots of sugar: sandwiches, trail mix, granola bars, life savers, glucogel and I'll buy a thing of juice sometime tomorrow morning.

Also, I'm cutting my basal insulin by a chunk - down from 36 Lantus to 28. It will effect me for the whole day, but I think that's a compromise I'm going to have to make for safety's sake.

I hate that I have to think so much about something that should be so freeing, but a little bit of pre-planning can make all the difference.

I can't wait to get back tomorrow and have lots of stories to tell and pictures to show!

Technology illuminates creepers...

With all of my attempts at updating my website, I added Google Analytics to my website and blog so I can see if I'm actually getting any traffic.

Surprisingly, it tells me that I have some silent readers - those of you who never comment...

Don't worry, I don't know any specifics - just numbers and countries.

Long story short, I'm glad to know that people are reading.

I am motivated to make this blog even better for all my faithful readers! I've learned from previous experiences that you won't make suggestions about what I should write about, so I'll try new and exciting directions!

Starting next time...

Closing down a month

Well, there's only twenty more minutes in November.

Aside from blogging 30 times this month, almost even on the proper days, I don't really feel like I accomplish much in November. School flew by because I didn't really have any assignments. Now I have a presentation and a paper left, and that's all I have to do before I leave for Winnipeg.

I feel like I should have something profound to say, but I don't.

Just that I'm looking forward to the end of term, the start of new projects, and the new year.

Sunday's Post - NaBloPoMo's Penultimate

Once again, I don't seem to have a schedule that allows for regular, daily blogging. Nevertheless, I kept up and there's a post for every day of the month!

This was not the most productive weekend, but it was enjoyable. I did some practicing for the concert, which I'll post about in the next entry, and a little bit of work on my presentation, but not enough of anything. I was somewhat social, but I was also fairly hermitty.

I met with my poet again, and this time it was more social. I really enjoy conversing with him. We have a shared sense of artistic ideology which I haven't felt like I had in common with anyone since I was involved with the dance improv scene in Winnipeg. Long story short, it's a good feeling and I'm glad to have like-minded artists around!

I've emailed a few people, and it seems like there won't be a festivus this year, at least not with the group that I usually celebrate with. This seems like the year that many high-school friends are just not coming back to Winnipeg. I can't blame people, but it will be a different Christmas this year. My sister and brother-in-law are going to Thailand for the holidays, so it's just going to be me and my parents. At least I'll get more work done....

I spent far too much time yesterday updating my website.

Really, I only changed one thing - updated from mp3 samples to full streaming audio.

Check it out: www.michaelpark.ca

I'd previously used myspace as my audio hosting, but now I can have it all available on my website - I feel much more professional.

This evening, I get to help babysit a friend's three year-old daughter. She's super cute, and with three babysitters, I'm sure it will be lots of fun and fairly low-key.

Friday is techno-savvy blogging day!

It's Friday evening and I'm staying in to get some work done. You know you're a grad student when...

Actually, I passed up a pot-luck tonight, which is very much out-of-line for a grad student.

I've been fussy and cranky lately - not exactly sure why, but I'm just feeling like I'm wanting to be a bit anti-social this weekend.

After some troubles with proprietary audio file types today, I put some recordings up of my latest performance last month.

They are available on my myspace page, but since I'm getting more and more techno-savvy, here it is, embedded!

First and Second Movements

Third Movement

Fourth and Fifth Movements

I play another concert on Monday - also through the UBC Contemporary Players, but this time the piece is quite a bit shorter. I hope to have a recording available a little bit sooner than it appeared this time around

Thursday post

Happy Thanksgiving... if you're American.

On a Thursday - really?!?

I don't get these Americans. One of my good Vancouver friends is American, so we had a makeshift Thanksgiving dinner tonight. 2 of the 3 present were Vegetarians, so it was a non-turkey event, which is fine.

The menu:

Appetizer: Artichoke dip with Tostitos: The chips were surprisingly salty. The dip was rich and delicious.

Mains/Sides:

-Sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top: I was confused about why they needed so much sweetness. Brown sugar AND pure sugar on top... was a bit much for me. I would have preferred nice creamy mashed potatoes, but this was a meal to help our American friend feel less home-sick.

-Green Bean casserole: mushroom soup and french-fried onions. Even though I'm not a huge bean fan, I actually would have preferred them just plain with butter.

-Stuffing: after my roommate made it with the directions from the box, we realized that we had spent 3 dollars on a box of croutons! Nevertheless, it was ok with the gravy.

-Stuffed Red Peppers: This was my contribution. The stuffing was mixed beans, tomatoes, spinach, onion, tomato sauce and chili powder. They turned out pretty good, not that anyone else would know.

I am not the easiest person to offend, but tonight my feelings were hurt. Neither of my friends even tried the peppers they were served.

It's not just the fact that the food went to waste (I'll eat the leftovers, but stuffed peppers are never as good after they've cooled), but it was fairly clear that they assumed they would be bad, so they didn't even try them - essentially telling me that my food wasn't even worth trying!

After I had tried my pepper (I tried it last on my plate, after everyone else's...) they asked me how it was. I replied modestly, 'it's okay", because, what kind of douche would reply 'oooh, the peppers I made are superb, you simply must taste my deliciousness!'

Oh ya,

We had peach/blueberry pie from Safeway. It was sugary and delicious.

I'm a fairly slow composer. It takes me longer than I'd like to get the ideas I have down on the page. At the same time, I usually have the whole piece conceived and planned out in the pre-planning stage, when the pencil is just starting to hit the page.

I get bogged down by the idea that so little of the piece is on paper, that I feel like I'm always behind. Today, my lesson was a nice reminder that that's not true!

In my lesson, my prof complimented me on how organized I was and lamented about how she wished all her students put that much thought into their pieces.

It's not like I'm going to take this as license to stop writing things down altogether... but it was nice to have my compositional method reaffirmed.

As much as I don't like to identify with bachelor lifestyle, I fully embrace the practice of (almost) never making my bed.

Of course, I know how and do it from time to time, but I'm just not willing to make it into part of my daily routine.

Soon, I need to invest in the proper sized sheets - my mother bought me 2 sets, both of which are king sized and I have only a double bed. On the one hand, the fitted sheet fits perfectly over both the mattress and box-spring, but I can't tuck in the flat sheet at all, and there's a lot left to be tucked in.

The other problem is that, Feng Shui be damned, I have my bed in a corner. With one side against the wall, it makes the bed-making process rather obnoxious.

Ok, that's enough random dribble.

Back to composing.... random dribble.

Only one more week of NaBloPoMo

NaBloPoMo is reminding me why, every once in a while, I think of killing the blog altogether.

Forcing myself to write something everyday shows just how little of worth I have to say on here.

I lost my bank card a few days ago, so I had to go all the way across town to a PC Financial pavilion to get a new one. I love almost everything about PC Financial, and those who have ever talked about banks with me will know all about that, BUT I don't like how few locations there are in Vancouver - either for shopping or for the banking pavilion.

Nevertheless, I rarely actually need to go to the pavilion - in fact, I don't think I went even once when I was living in Ontario.

Anyway, I did need to go today and it was horrendous. Google maps and the lady on the PC phone both told me it was at the wrong intersection, so I had to walk about 20 minutes in the rain along a big ugly, busy street to get there. When I did arrive, the pedestrian entrance was an uphill mud path leading to a large parking lot to walk through - cause really, who would try to go there unless they had a car!?!

After all this hassle, I bought myself socks - lovely, fresh, clean, new socks!

New socks are one of the best feelings in the world - I'll go reward myself with that happy feeling right now!

The meeting this afternoon was great. My poet and I are on the same wavelength artistically, so that is wonderful.

He is very open with how I use his poetry, and he even seemed really excited about my plans.

In other news, I'm not happy with my cellphone.

About 4 months ago, I got a smartphone - the BlackBerry Storm. Not comparing it to anything else, it's not bad as a phone. Nevertheless, comparing it to the iPhone, it's shit.

Mostly, the applications.

One of the things I wanted to do with my smartphone was organize my diabetes with some of the applications out there. I was told that, at the time I got the phone, the BlackBerry AppWorld was under development and would soon have lots. 4 months later, and there is NOTHING new in terms of diabetes applications.

I'm not sure whether this is BB's fault or what, but it doesn't matter - they're simply not meeting my needs.

I called Telus to inquire about switching to an iPhone. Long story short, I need to call back during regular business hours, but they seemed resistant to it...

I have a 3 year contract. I'm not trying to back out of that, in fact, I'm willing to extend that by another 4 months by resigning - fresh.

In fact, I'm wanting to upgrade my plan and pay them an additional 5-20$/month MORE per month for the next 3 years, and they still don't want me to do it?!?

I just don't understand. It defies logic.

Anyway, I'll call again tomorrow and see if I can't talk some sense into them.

Making up for the 9th

I realized that I never posted, late or otherwise, on Nov 9th. That was probably because I was desperately finishing up the bassoon piece.

To make up for it, I'll do 2 posts today in regards to a meeting I'm having a little later this afternoon.

I'm collaborating with a poet for my choral pieces. Technically, it shouldn't be much different from using any other poems because they've already been written, but it is. Working with a poem is fun because you get to highlight different elements of the poem and even rework it structurally.

I have chosen one of his poems already and I believe he will have some others that complement it to suggest.

I have some ideas and I think they're pretty good, but I'm really interested to hear how the poet will react.

Also, I know that writers are very aware of the sonoristic elements of the words they use, but I wonder how organized he was with them. I did a phonetic analysis of the poem and have found/created structural divisions based on types of vowels used.

Oh wel, I'm about to find out soon!

Reconnecting

I guess movies and sitcoms had convinced me that reconnecting with people from the past could go horribly wrong, but I'm rethinking that now.

Since moving to Vancouver, I've gone for coffee/dessert with a few people that I haven't seen in years. There's always the fear that you'll have nothing to talk about and that things could end horribly, but that's not been the case - and I don't think it actually ever would be.

Anyway, today I had a delightful 2 hour chat with a girl I went to undergrad with. We hadn't kept in touch at all, but since we're both in the same city, it made sense to meet up. I'm glad we did - it made for a delightful afternoon.

Despite nice distractions in the afternoon, I need to focus tonight and get lots of work done...

Here we go!

Friday Post

Hmm,

This drinking all afternoon and evening thing on Fridays seems to be a regularity. Not that I'm complaining, but it got in the way of blogging yesterday.

Anyway, this week has not been good for getting things done. I had my personal day in the middle, and no assignments or anything, so I really didn't have any motivation. I should know better - there's rarely any outside motivation in grad school.

This weekend, I'm meeting with some people in the afternoons, but that will hopefully be the extent of my socializing. I need to get a lot of music written - that is priority #1!

Thursday post

And, we're back on schedule!

I've been knitting an elephant lately. I don't know why, but I'm not enjoying it. The pattern is overly complicated and it's just frustrating me. Also, it's pink, but I didn't have enough so I'm using a variety of pinks, and I might even run out of those!

I would really like to just trash this project, but out of spite, I'm going to finish it.

I've been in a funk lately. It might be the lack of sunlight, and constant raining, leading to SAD - I hear that's quite common in Vancouver. I'm also over sleeping. Staying up late is fine, as long as I wake up after only 8 hours of sleep, but after sleeping through the whole morning, I end up sleeping another few hours. I feel tired all the time because of it.

I remember when I first got here and was still waking up early in the mornings, I had so much energy and was so productive. I should get back to that!

For now, I just need to force myself to be productive no matter how I feel!

Today has been good.

I took a personal day.

I've been stressed and overly emotional lately, so I haven't been getting much composing done. I cancelled my lesson yesterday, and my prof was very supportive. Also, the rehearsal I was supposed to have today got cancelled.

I slept in and took the day to myself. I bought groceries and rearranged my cupboards.

I'm going to do a little work tonight, but we have friends coming over later this evening for fun times watching Glee.

Mr. Insulin Pump,

Why do you annoy me, even when I'm no longer using you?

I was trying to sleep peacefully this morning after my alarm went off. After a few minutes, I heard a faint beeping. Smacking my alarm again, I realized it was not the cell phone alarm. I assumed it was imagined, but then it kept going on.

Eventually, I realized it was coming from my desk drawer, where you were hiding.

I asked you what was wrong and you said, "OFF NO POWER".

Can't you just die silently? I promise, I won't shed any tears either way.

Sincerely,

Michael

This is precisely the kind of thing I was trying to avoid. I asked a forum on TuDiabetes for advice on what to do when not using a pump.

They failed to comprehend why anyone would not be using the god-like machine...

I was wondering if taking the battery out would result in losing all my settings and info from CGM, but no advice there. The responses chose to focus on trying to convince me to stick with the pump, or trying to speculate on why I was having problems, rather than helping me with the questions at hand.

Caught up, for a day...

NaBloPoMos,

You should be proud - I am actually posting my Monday post on Monday!

Today was very pointillistic. I had three reasons for being at school today and they were all spread out, but I think I made good use of my time.

After a short rehearsal, I spent an hour just chatting with a friend.

After a delightful composition seminar presenting Chinese and Indian instruments, I got some work done over lunch.

After the executive meeting for UBC Composer's Collective, I headed home and wrote a blog entry.

Then everyone read it and was happy.

The End.

Sunday Post

Well, another failed attempt at posting on the proper day, but I'm not too concerned.

Today was a pretty lame day. I've watched a lot of internet tv and got minimal work accomplished.

I discovered the comedian Sarah Haskins. I've been watching her segments all day long, on and off...

www.current.com/sarahhaskins

She's hilarious and I'm one-day addicted to her comedy!

After a week of no rehearsals or coachings, I have a rehearsal tomorrow morning at 10am - the earliest day of any of my weeks. It will be fun and I'm excited to play!

Saturday's Post

I seem to be falling into a habit, I'll try to fix that tomorrow with a properly timed post.

I often tell myself that I favor simplicity in my music, but I often give myself reason to question that premise.

I'm currently working on a choral piece with text by a writer I've met in my time at UBC. Without getting too detailed, I want to expand on the inherent sounds of the text, as spoken. Counterintuitively, I've complicated everything by translating the text into IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) so that I can be picky about the precise vowels and consonants used. I'll have a huge palate of colours with which to compose.

Despite having a lot of material to work with, I'm trying to figure out a way to maintain the simplicity and cleanness I'm wanting.

I'm noticing an irony:

In the classical world, singers learn IPA and the proper diction so that they say everything properly. The effect is something that sounds nothing like how people really talk.

That is not what I want, so I am taking a largely academic approach to getting a choir to sing like they would talk it... The diction element (at least) would be much easier if I just got a bunch of uneducated schmucks off the street to sing it, but I don't know how pretty it would be.

Friday, Nov 13th

It seems like I keep missing days, but that's not the case.

I consider the day to be over only when I go to sleep. Since I usually stay up until 2 or 3, I have a few hours of grace period, for any of those NaBloPoMo sticklers out there.

Foozball Friday usually lasts about 2 or 3 drinks, and around 2 hours. Today, it lasted 10!

The campus bar portion included foozball as well as shuffleboard. We stayed later than normal because one of our friends could only join us after 2 hours in, and we wanted him to experience the joy of shufflepucking!

Libations included the standard Rye and Diet, and some chicken fingers for food.

Next, we went for some food at a bar near Granville. It had been over 4 hours since the start of the day, so I had another full meal. I had a pulled-pork sandwich and split a half-litre of red wine with a fellow non-beer drinker.

Well fed and liquored, we went onwards to 5-pin bowling. All they served was beer, so I had a can... Yuck! I'm not a beer drinker, and I shouldn't even try! I only played one game, because they had to clear out for the glow-bowling reservations - if only we knew!

Then, we stopped off at the BC Liquor store to pick up some libations before heading to our apartment to watch some episodes of the Flight of the Conchords. Having finished the bottle I got around Thanksgiving, I got another bottle of the Canadian Club 12-year aged rye whisky. If I haven't raved about this, I should have! Rye is a pretty standard mixed drink, but it's mass produced for purely it's alcohol content. On the other end is Single Malt Whiskies and Scotch. This stuff is much closer to that end, which is why I wasn't willing to buy a standard rye this time around.

Anyway, while midnight might seem like an early end to a Friday night, it was just about perfect after having spent the entire afternoon and evening with good friends!

I don't think I'll sober up enough to get something productive done, but enough to write a blog post!

The jungle is growing!

I found this great pattern for a frog, but I didn't have any green yarn, so I fashioned this little guy after a poison dart frog! I'm happy with how he turned out and I just bought some green yarn tonight so I can have a realistic frog as well!

Today was an exceptionally good day for diabetes, so I feel pretty good about everything.

I went with my roommate and a mutual friend tonight for a bit of a shopping spree.

I got a new messenger bag/satchel/manpurse at Winners and a variety of other things at Walmart.

It was good to be out of the apartment!

Remembrance Day

I feel guilty that I didn't get a poppy this year.

In previous years, they seemed to be everywhere, but not this year. Over the last few days, I've been keeping an eye open, but they haven't been at the places I frequent.

In the afternoon, I went skating with friends at the Olympic skating venue. It was a lot of fun. I haven't skated in a long time. My arches have never ached so much! I wasn't nearly as bad as I predicted I would be, but it was still pretty iffy. After the first half hour, I calmed down a lot with the screaming.

Diabetes while skating was ok. ish. Sugars were about 12mmol before and for the first while. When I checked later on, they were at 7mmol so I started popping some lifesavers. After we finished, they were back at 12 - I'm not sure if that was a rebound from a low, or from the candies. I guess it will remain a mystery.

Other than that, today has been a very low-key day. I'm doing laundry and I washed dishes.

Nov the 10th Post!

Last night, I finished my lion, ish. I still need to sew a face and toes onto him, but I think he looks pretty cool!

I stuffed him as well as I could, but his legs are just not strong enough. He looks pretty cool when he's sitting though, and pretty cute!

Oh ya, the more important news...

Last night, I finished and sent off the score to my bassoonist.

I'm excited to take a little break from the piece and get started on something fresh - Choral pieces!

I picked a poem to use, and I'm just waiting to get permission to use it before starting on that. The good thing about knowing the poet is that I shouldn't have to wait long.

I'm getting down the the wire with this bassoon piece, and procrastination is at a high.

Why can I not do this much tidying when I don't have a piece to finish writing?!?

After 7 full days, my CGM died. 45 minutes of solid weak signals were followed by a lost sensor message despite the fact that it was mere inches away.

Because Medtronic's CareLink technology is not mac-compliant, I am unable to show any pictures of the progress I made over these 7 days, but I can tell you that it was spectacular! I will use a friend's computer in the next week or so to upload my info. There were a few days that I was anal enough to input all of my info into the bolus wizard, but not enough to really analyze the trends.

What I got out of the week was:

-knowing that my sugars are stable as a rock overnight

-knowledge that my sugars only start to rise once I've woken up. This is caused by a change in metabolism, and NOT the dawn phenomena that people pre-empt with the pump. I never really found the perfect solution for this morning sugar-rise problem while I was on the pump. As a result, I need to take 3 units as soon as I get out of bed, plus any correction, or insulin for carbs.

-updated carb ratios - I'm back to 1 unit for every 5 grams. Basically I've learned that insulin is a little less efficient on MDI, but that's ok.

I'm going to use this information to get things under better control. If I remember to pack the pump, I'll likely use the CGM over the holidays to help keep an eye on things. Or maybe I'll use it earlier to really tighten things up before the holidays.

Anyway, for now I need to finish this piece.

Goodnight!

Between the two lines.

Anyone who has used Continuous Glucose Monitoring (CGM) technology knows the significance of those two lines...

The CGM graphs your sugars on a screen as they unfold horizontally over the day. The vertical placement of the curve on the graph is based on how high or low your blood glucose is. The middle section of the graph is bookended by the user's high and low glucose levels - it's like a game where you have to stay between the two lines.

When you're above that line, you're on edge and you might even take rage boluses to get back in range. When you're below... you're likely feeling low, so you eat or drink some carbs.

I've been a little stressed and pissy about diabetes lately because I was not spending enough time between the lines. It seemed for a while, like I was residing above, and it only passed through the middle section en route to a low or a high. Of course, I'm exaggerating, but that's how it feels when you're not in complete control.

Anyway, today has been great. The 3 hour graph shows two little breast-like bumps indicating the food I've eaten along with insulin I took to match. The 24 hour graph shows one high from yesterday evening that barely goes out of the range (due to delicious post-halloween candy eating) and then slowly coming down and a few little wiggles since about 6am.

I am allowing myself to be happy about this because I deserve it. I hope it will stay like this for a while, but who knows for how long. My sensor has been in for about 6 days now and I'm not sure how much longer I can leave it it. I still have no redness or discomfort from the site, and the readings have been pretty damned reliable.

[I just tested with my machine, and realize that it's off by quite a bit...]

There we go - I had a brief moment of happiness about my diabetes control, and now it's back to the reality.

In other news, I'm going to buy a nose-hair trimmer today. That's right, I still can't and probably will never be able to grow decent facial hair, but my nose hasn't been informed.

Every once in a while, my right nostril gets inflamed and really sensitive. I'm pretty sure it's from ingrown nose hairs, so I'm going to start taking the proactive approach of trimming.

That's about all for now. I need to do some more writing and then I'm going to the opera tonight.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but every Friday afternoon, I go out with some music grad-student friends for drinks and table games at the grad-student bar on campus. We call it foosball Fridays because, well, foosball and pool are our main activities.

I am not good at either of these games, likely due to my lack of patience. I use what we refer to as the chaos-theory - where I move and spin the little men as fast and violently as I can. I also tend to shriek, laugh, scream and swear a fair bit while playing. Pretty standard Michael stuff.

I can feel that I'm so close to finishing my bassoon piece; I can tell that it will be a struggle to maintain focus this weekend and finish it, but I need to. Though my bassoonist hasn't rushed me at all, and I'll still have it to her before her deadline, I'm already behind the deadline I had set for myself. My original goal was to have the whole piece finished by Oct. 30th. Instead, I've been working on it movement-by-movement; half was finished and sent before the deadline, so now only one of four movements remains.

I look forward to the end of the weekend because I will have finished this piece and I won't have any upcoming deadlines of any kind. I will be able to start fresh on a choral piece, get back to the song cycle, and get working on next term's piano music to learn for contemporary ensemble.

I've booked my travel, so I will officially be in Winnipeg from Dec 15(16)th through January 1'st(2nd). I'll have lots to work on over the break and I'll be very happy to spend lots of time with Petra.

Now it's the fifth!

I went to see a free piano tonight.

It was ugly, but I didn't care. Apparently, in the 60's, for some reason they covered it with some kind of plush stuff - I don't know why. I would have been fine with that, if it weren't so complicated.

Moving a piano in Vancouver will cost $180. If there are any stairs involved, it costs double. One of the keys would need to get fixed, but the piano was actually in pretty decent shape.

Anyway, the idea of paying nearly 400 dollars to move a piano that still needs to be tuned and repaired... I don't quite think I can justify that kind of expense right now.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little run-down right now so I'm going to stop typing.

It's still Nov 4th ish...

It feels like I missed today.

Just so busy, every moment was filled.

I spent a massive chunk of the day helping a friend move. I felt a little drained from that and by the time I got home, the time difference meant it was too late to call my sister to wish her happy birthday. Every wednesday, we have people over to the apartment to watch tv, but since the show we watch was a repeat, we played a board game. It just ended, so once again, I was a few hours behind my blogging.

Nevertheless, today was a great day. My friend who was moving really needed the help and it felt great to be able to lend a hand. His daughter is too cute for words and kept things interesting with singing, dancing, playing piano, bowing, imaginary friends and even some social commentary on how the whole world is really one big community.

Board games and mulled wine are a good combination. Board games can be tricky though, you get to see a different side of people. We learned that my roommate is fairly competitive, while I get a little power hungry/spiteful. The game went a little long, so I lost some interest, but it was mostly pretty fun.

I've decided I need to go low-card for the next little while. I might have to adjust my carb ratios at different times of day, so little inaccuracies cause huge variations when you're eating carb-heavy meals. It seems like I need loads of insulin for lunch, but barely anything for dinner - so I'll change those carb ratios for tomorrow and see if that doesn't help. It makes sense - that matches my basal rates on the insulin pump, anyway, I'll post more about that tomorrow.

I must be playing my cards right.

I certainly haven't hidden my agenda to become more active as a pianist. I joined the contemporary players at UBC so that I could get my hands back in motion.

For the first concert, I played two pieces and I've gotten really positive feedback thus far. I look forward to working on new music, and it appears that there will be lots of opportunity for that.

I joined a group of composers here at UBC that works towards promoting the music of, and concerts involving members of the UBC composer community at large. We're organizing a concert series for next term, and have been brainstorming for ideas. After last week's concert, I was asked if I would be interested in playing a concert of new music in January. I'm taking this as a compliment! Composers are picky people, so if my own peers think I am a worthy performer, then who am I to argue!

This will also provide me with the opportunity to foray, back into the land of solo piano music.

Christmas break will be fun and filled with new music learning!

In terms of diabetes, today was my first full day on CGM. The numbers have not been pretty, but I'm trying not to correct too much, I want to see the trends, and they're harder to see when there are lots of little boluses.

Onwards and upwards!

NaBloPoMo

So, I've joined it.

Apparently November is a big month for things. That means I'll be blogging daily for the month...I used to do it, I'm sure I'll be able to for a month.

I got some progress done on my bassoon piece tonight, slow but sure.

Earlier today, I put in a Continuous Glucose Monitor. It's been a few weeks since going off the pump and I've very much enjoyed the freedom. With that freedom, I've become complacent, so I need to hone up on my MDI skills! Even though I won't use the pump for insulin delivery, I'll be inputting all the info through it so I can see everything nicely organized on the graphs...

Oh, wait, I can't!!!!!!!

If anyone from Minimed/Medtronic is reading : Why is CareLink not Mac-Compliant?!?

Also, while I'm complaining... BLACKBERRY, What do you have nothing worthwhile for diabetes?!? When I got my blackberry, I was told that the appsworld was new, but it would develop quickly - LIES!!!!!

I've followed some tech sites that compare the different diabetes management programs on the iPhone - there's many of them, but Blackberry, you suck at this game! And don't tell me that it's the software developers, not the company... Well, why are the developers not interested in you?!? Make them be!

It's also 4am and I need to go to sleep.

Post #900

Well, the topic of this post will be none other than procrastination - that thing that results in endless blog entries and motivates efficiency at the last minute.

Unfortunately, it's not a good thing and I need to find a way to dispose of this nuisance. It is present in every part of my life and it is certainly not helping.

I just don't understand why I do it:

I want to finish my compositions quickly so I have more time to edit and improve them.

I want to improve my diabetes control so I live longer, healthier, happier.

I want to lose weight so I look and feel better.

...but I don't act on these wants, at least not right away. It's like I'm addicted to that sense that my actions could lead to something wonderful - Wow, how full of myself can I get?!?!

Lately, blogging can barely be considered on my list of procrastinations, I only do it when I have time and the shorter entries don't take up much time at all.

Knitting has been a favourite pass-time this week or so. I'm currently knitting a lion, I'll post a picture when I'm done. It's quite an involved pattern, so I'm excited for how it will turn out. Uh oh, I'm looking forward to how it's going to turn out... soon I'll start procrastinating against the lion project, haha!

Anyway, dinner is finished baking so I should go eat.

Happy NineHundred to anyone who is currently or has ever followed my blog. I think I'm the only one left, so congratulations me!

Who knows if I'll make it to 1000. I'll probably procrastinate against that...

Visit NaBloPoMo

Post 899?!

Holy moly, I feel bad wasting a post as I get so close to 900, but oh well.

I'm about to make my return to the concert stage tomorrow at noon. Both pieces are well rehearsed and will be pretty awesome at the concert tomorrow. I am not nervous at all, rather, excited!

At the same time, I feel pretty behind on my composition. Last weekend, I worked like a madman, barely leaving the apartment for a few days. After that, I lost motivation for a few days, and I'm struggling to pull it together right now.

I sent the first half of my bassoon piece to the performer - early! In theory, that buys me a few days of leeway with the other half. It is coming, and I know exactly what needs to be done, it's just a matter of doing it.

I'm currently at a crossroads - I should stay up all night writing music, BUT I have to be in top form for the performance tomorrow. I'm going to stay up a little later, but not too much. I will also use my time before and after the performance to get as much done as possible.

In other words, I'm stopping this post NOW so I can get back to work.

I hope to post a recording of tomorrow's concert on here or myspace as soon as it's available.