Looking at my list of recent calls on my cell phone, I realize that the overwhelming majority of incoming calls are from either work, my parents, or wrong numbers. A friend of mine did call tonight, but oh ya, they were looking to get ahold of my sister, not me.
This is not new news, nor it is surprising, I am well aware that I rarely get calls of a social nature.
Anyway, at what point are you supposed to stop calling people? With a couple friends lately,I've been making the attempt to get in touch, and it seems like I'm just wasting energy. I'm left with the feeling that I am putting to much effort into chasing after friends who probably don't actually want anything to do with me. The bad part is that I know I'm not ready to stop trying. It's quite possible that if I didn't make any more effort, I could make it this whole month without any contact outside of my parents.
I saw a tv show the other day and there was this character who was all excited for his second date with this chick and he's talking to everyone about it and then when he can't get ahold of the girl, he ends up going over to her place and having the landlord open her appartment because he's worried that somethings wrong.... when they open the door, she's there and replies to his concern with "I just thought you could take a hint".
how much longer am I going to be the pathetic guy who doesn't actually realize that noone wants to be his friend.

In conclusion, I was ditched thrice in one night - well, I had plans with one friend, who I can't get ahold of, and then both my sister and the other friend who was looking for her were supposed to call me when they had made plans.


Anyway, on to better topics, I have a half-jury tomorrow and I'm pretty prepared for it. It will go fine, and more than anything, I'm excited because after it's done I will be able to start working on other repertoire again. This probably wont be such a good sounding thing as of tomorrow evening, because it's been a month since I've touched any of the other stuff, and longer since I've worked on some of it... .so it will be pretty shit-tacular, waiting for me to relearn it!!
Why did I say tomorrow night... I won't touch piano tomorrow after my jury, it's my dad's retirement tomorrow night, so that will be my evening... unless I go practice after dropping off my grand-dad and great aunt.
Hmmm, what else, oh, tonight was dinner with my family, including my sister and aunt from BC. They both flew in today for Dad's retirement. We went to one of our regular restaurants that we go to. It was nice, and entertaining as my sister had been drinking since 3 in the afternoon.. she was tanked!
I just realized that one of profs on my Jury tomorrow is not going to be back next term because she's going on sabatical, therefore I will probably not see her again before I leave... possibly ever. Not that we are particularly close, but I like to have closure with profs and whatnot... I will have to remember to say goodbye tomorrow.
but for now.. goodbye tonight!

Enjoying my new life

My cat friend, Oliver, and I are getting along well enough. I'm worried, he hasn't shat this afternoon. Normally, I'm not one to worry about my friend's bowel situations, but Oscar has a predisposition to shitting on beds and other areas when things are out of the normal. When Jade brought him to her Dad's in Saskatchewan for our road trip this summer, he made a sport of doing his business on his bed (only twice, but there was definate malicious intent). Anyway, I'm making sure he's kept out of the bedroom as 1) she has a beautiful bed and b) I'd say that Oscar being left in his home with some random guy is out of the normal for this kitty.
Aside from that, he is a very handsome cat and his antics keep me entertained from time to time.

I had a short lesson / run through of my Haydn today. The results are that the Sonata hasn't gone to complete shit since my lesson 2 weeks ago. He had some suggestions and he was happy to say that it was in good condition. I'll fix up some of the things, and it will be stellar on thursday. Distracting - the a and b keys (bottom of the bass clef) were sticking today, and it was driving me crazy. I think I held it together rather well, considering the severity of the sticking, but it definately screwed me up quite a bit. I know realize that it must have been the reason that the guy in the lesson before me had been sitting at the other piano...
Thursday is going to be a long yest wonderful day. I have Jury at noon, and then I will be completely done with Haydn!! That evening is my dad's retirement.
Bittersweet - I can drink on these antibiotics BUT I'm a DD, driving my grandfather and great aunt. Nevertheless, I will enjoy the evening and be sober to support my father on this momentous occasion.
Also, not drinking is wonderful on the pocketbook!
So, to correct something I had previously said... I do have wireless internet here.... although it is not technically jade's nor mine... I can only get it at the very edge of the bedroom here, so not the most convenient.. but beggar's can't be choosers. I can also hook up my computer or use Jade's for dial-up if I don't feel like struggling to find the sweet spot for this connection.
Anyway, now it's time to watch tv and knit!

moving day

for those who may not know, I'm housesitting for the next month, so I will be in south St.Vital til Jan 8'th.
Today I'm driving my firend to the airport and then taking over her life for a month.
due to dial-up internet, I will have limited resources, but I guaruntee that I will make the most of it with blogging and update you on christmas holiday adventures.
At this moment, I'm running around the house trying to find all the things that I know that I'm going to forget here, but at least it's only half an hour away, so i can easily come back for anythign I left behind. Diabetic supplies are all packed and as soon as I'm done this, the computer will be put away
anyway, enough rambling..
toodles for now!

And they're off!!!

I just bound my scores for Auskultu Bonvolu and then took it and the other pieces and the audio cd and the coverpage and the Assistantship application and put them all in an expresspost envelope and sent it!!! it cost me 11$, but I think it was worth it, it will arrive at McGill before the deadline!!!
Now, I officially shift my focus to the Haydn for my half jury. It's been too long since I actually practiced it... I've played through it every couple of days to make sure it's still there.... and it's gone a bit downhill, BUT thats what the days between now and thursday are for. My mental and structural memory are secure, but my fingers sometime want to go to the wrong place ; easily fixed by repeating it properly... AKA PRACTICING!!!
All day tomorrow will be that! monday is going to be a little silly because I have to drive Binky o the airport so I can move into her place while she is in Germany for the month.. but then on, I'm super close to the university so I won't have a problem finding time to practice!

ooops, I published that a little ealry, anyway, I went to a social for dfun times tonight!
I danced a bit an d drank a bit and had a wonderful time!

we requested my theme song ; Private Dancer, by Tina Turner....
but then it was skipping so they stopped it, then I was anrgy, but then I wasn't so much angry anymore because I drank and then ate some coldcuts and bread and mustard (all combined into some kind of "sandwich form")

The moral of the story is that as the evening developed, I drank more and therefore danced more and had more good time. There were no strippers for me to dance with this time, so I had respectable dancing fun!unlike other socials at the same location...

FI and I predrank tonight and I knit whilst we did that.

Also, I got a bandaid for my cheek (it's winny the poo) so I have pooh on my face. My mouth is tender, so ouchy, but ya, the good thing is that liquor + this antibiotic = not a bad time! yaya!

i'm excited for monday, I move to my December home - housesitting for Binky, although it means less interent access, it will be fun, .. time with kitty.

OK, update on progress, I finished printing out my ensemble piece tonight, binding tomorrow and posting it in the mail tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's going to be complete as of tomorrow afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't even explain the excitment I have for this to be in the mail!

holy schmoley, it's been too long since I had been drunk, and tonights the night to recitfy that litte porblem!

What an upsy-downy day!

I had my gum surgery today! Well, part of it... I had the worst area taken care of today and next week I will have the 2'nd worse area. The best part was that we found out the other day that the procedure was covered 90% by my dad's Blue Cross, if only we had more time... oh well. In other words, the finances of this are AOK!
The freezing itself was a little painful on the inside of the gum, but oh well. It was an awesome sound to hear him slicing open my gum... although it took much longer than I thought... The sewing up of sutures took the longest of anything. The freezing was wearing off while he was suturing up the actual graft, and I began feeling sore while I was still there.
So, he gave me T3's which I won't need to use as the bad pain and soreness is already faded. I also got an Rx for antibiotic... but it doesn't say anything about avoiding alcohol while on them... so yay! ALthough I will stay away from excess.
I TOTALLY handed in my orchestration final assignment this morning, well before the due time (almost an hour before...) that means, I'm officially done all academics for the term!!!
AND considering that Piano Ped is barely an academic course, I'm done academics for my undergrad!!! I thought about it and the only classes I have next term are Ped and Cantata on Thursdays. I have Comp seminar on Mon and Wed, but I don't get a mark for that..... Fridays I have New Music Ensemble, but that's totally not academic. It'll be great, I'll actually have the time to learn my piano music and even do some composing at the same time!
Last night I started to print out the scores for the ensemble piece, but I ran out of paper...so I bought some on my way home today and this afternoon I will finish them...
Speaking of... I HAVE A TITLE!!!!!!!!!!

"Aŭskultu, Bonvolu"

It is Esperanto for "Listen, Please". I was going to call it "Ecoutez, s'il vous plaît", but now looking back, the french is too polite, in a way. s'il vous plaît means 'if it pleases you' which lacks the directness of the Esperanto version. Both of the words in the esperanto one are in the commanding declension, which gets the idea across better! Also, Tiffy pointed out that the idea of the international language of peace matches better with individual lines which are reinterpreted by instuments who are not natural speakers of that type of line.... Amazing how adding a title to something can add a layer of depth... eh!?
All is well at the moment!
I also remembered to call and book off the evening of my dad's retirement from contemp, so I can actually attend (a minor oversight in the grand scheme of things).

ANd now to be productive!

So, I'm pretty sure I have the best piano student in the world!
Not because she practices every day for hours and then remembers everything that I tell her in lessons.... rather, she bought me liquor! Bailey's and Kahlua and Wine!! Oh what a wonderful day!

In other news, today was the last day of classes! yay! Only assignments to do now.. but I don't have to be bothered to actually go to the school for daily events! yippee!

I took my ensemble piece and the performance notes to the head of the composition department today. He looked at my piece and helped me do some editing to make the instructions clear as a bell(I hope). It was super duper! great suggestions and ya! Just some rewordings to do and then I can print it out and it will be ready!

Phew!

So, I haven't recieved any title suggestions for my ensemble piece, so I'll have make something up before i print it out and bind it....
I bound the other two pieces tonight at the ballet, so they are officially ready to go with program notes and everything. Now, all that is awaiting the submissions package is the third piece.
I took it to my composition teacher on monday. He had some really good things to say and also some helpful commentary... albeit the kind that creates more work for me. In the second movement, there was some precedent that when a figure is supposed to be repeated, you need the repeat sign before and after the little snipett... it makes sense, but I was going by the idea that you don't use it at the beginning of the piece, so I woulndt need to if there was no music directly preceding it... oh well. That took 10 minutes in photoshop, now it's done.
He suggested/demanded that I am consistent in my graphic notation.. This means that I have to devise a system that I can apply with as few changes to the score as possible... It also means figuring out how to do something new in photoshop.... uh oh.
So ya, I'm still in the same spot with this piece - trying to finish up the notation notes and program and performance notes so that everything makes sense to the performer without me being there to try and explain things.... gah!
BUT, if I make the notation on the page clearer, it simplifies what I have to write in words to explain the piece in the performance notes.
I finished my small orchestration assignment that is due tomorrow, so that means all I have left to do for school is my Final assignment and my half Jury.

Oh ya, so the plan is to have the ensembl piece COMPLETELY finished and printed by Friday/Saturday so that I can bind it myself (for free) at the ballet and then I can mail it with the other pieces on the same day after work! You have no idea how wonderful I will feel once that is out of the way!
Then I can spend the rest of the time before the 14th practicing for my Jury. THEN, the rest of xmas break will be learning recital rep and writing a choral piece for my UBC submissions!

For those who haven't noticed, this is probably the most hectic and stressful time of my university life thus far... well maybe not as bad as last year during the Music Festival/Recital week... but ya, you know what I'm getting at!

well, I was informed that I hadn't update my blog yet today, so I feel it is my responsibility to do so-such that my faithful readers will have something to read.
1) I finished my ensemble piece.... now I need to name it...something I hadn't thought about... but yes, suggestions are open. The over/underlying concept of the piece is that the most important part of performing this piece is listening to the ensemble around you. It is through this listening that decisions are made in terms of what, how and when to play the excerpts which are written on the part. One of the things that I'm excited to learn about the piece(which will only be revealed upon an ensemble's first performance of the piece) is whether the listening aspect will have an effect on how the instruments play their solo excerpt at the end of the piece. The solo excerpts are written idiomatically for each instrument, but they will have heard it many times played in different ways, it will be interesting to see if the soloists will play according to what is idiomatic to their instrument, or according to what they have heard..
Suggestions for a clever title are welcomed!
I will be working on the Performance/Notation notes to make sure that everything about the form and performance of the piece are explained clearly and concisely.

2) I went to the modern dance show last night put on by the Young Lungs Dance Exchange. It was a choreographic showcase for young choreographers in the city. It was wonderful to see such a variety of performances and presentations. It was also wonderful to see the dance/movement/choreographic styles of some of the dancers I work with or that I have jammed with. One of the things I was most excited about was seeing the dancer I will be working with for my recital doing the thing that we will be doing: musician/dancer improvisation.
I thought it was extrmely effective. I saw and felt the communication between the two of them,and I found that the simplicity of using one prop and a clever title was perfect. They called it "Selective Hearing" and the prop was an old-style telephone with an extremely long phone chord.
What I found to be very reassuring was the strong musicality of this particular dancer! There are so many aspects of that piece that I could go on for a while talking about, but I won't overdo it... Basically, they used some additive structures that I had been thinking of using as a good starting place for improv communication - this is basically when both participants are doing a repeated motive together and as time progresses, one or the other adds something to the motive and that is picked up and responded to by the other. It allows the participants as well as the audience cause-and-effect perspective of what is going on.
As with any show, there were parts that I really really liked and other parts that I liked less-so, but I was impressed overall with the effectiveness of the performances.
I encourage all of you to check out their website and keep track of what they have going on, lots of wonderful talent there!

So, I've been making silly decisions lately, or plans without consulting my full schedule... unfortunately my schedule exists in several places and none of them are comprehensive. examples are:
-making sure to book a lesson during rehearsal time for Cantata concert (problem solved)
-booking recording time at the univ. on the only night I wont have a car....

ok, those are the only 2 coming to mind.. but thats the problem, I'm not good at keeping track of resources. Tonight, I didn't have use of the car, so I had to bus. I love the bus and i don;t mind taking it to school, but I'm a little less excited about taking the bus with dirty smelly people when I'm wearing a suit to the Opera. People are also dirtier and smellier at night time. For those who take the bus, you know it's a completely different crowd of people that take the bus at night.

ANyway Opera was amusing, I thought it was a little too low-brow humour for my taste in some instances... The irony is that tonight's production was probably very accurate to the style it would have been presented in in Strauss's time (in terms of comparative historical placement).
After the Opera was over, apparently no one wanted to go out for drinks or whatnot, so I was just going to take the bus home... BUT whooosh!
I was saved by 2 of the awesomest people in the whole wide world - Jenn and Sean who graciously drove me home!
THANK YOU FRIENDS!
So, I didn't have a composition lesson today cause that time didn't work out, but having the lesson on monday means that I will have time to completely finish this ensemble piece in time to show my teacher. Then he can give me suggestions on how to make it even better!!

Names are interesting...
I've always prefered Michael to Mike, but I really don't care what people call me.
In fact I'm not insitent at all on what people call me, I'll accept anything really. Nevertheless, people always gravitate towards calling me Michael Park - full name..?!?
I don't think I've ever done anything to encourage this, but still - it's something to comes out of the woodwork.
I remember in high school, older friends from choir had an extended conversation/examination about how you can't just call me Michael, you have to use both first and last name.
Readers, I ask you this:
What is it about my names that necessitates the presence of both surname and given name?
oh well, I won't dwell on it.

Today was a good day, I'm done with assignments and the rest for one course! And the performance on wednesday marked this term's events for the New Music Ensemble. Orchestration still has 2 more assignments, which I need to get working on so I'm not in a rushat the last minute. Speaking of rushing, I'm getting close to finishing my ensemble piece. It's 5/6ths done, and I have my lesson tomorrow, he hasn't seen it since it was still in the concept piece or I had maybe written one of the excerpts... The biggest thing I need to work on is the performance notes and making sure I cover all the bases for what the players are supposed to do.

Tonight was the diabetes dinner. I learned a fair bit and got some freebies! I played love-themed music for a warm-up to the 'diabetes and sexual health' themed presentations.
I quite enjoy the group of young diabetics involved in this Maestro Project, good times.
ANyway,gnite

so, I had been working on a touque for my sister
as some of you may know, she has an abnormally small head, not that it implies anything about her intelligence... it's just that her cranial cavity is... well.... abnormally small.
Anyway, I had accidentally made the touque excessively small, so much so that it would be even too small for her head, to the point that it would be offensive to give it to her. Nevertheless, the work was not a waste, my mom has been making children's hats and scarves to give away for the christmas cheer board hampers. Now I just have to find more black yarn so I can still make a hat for part of Heather's present.....
OOH maybe I can make her and her finace matching touques.... and maybe matching wedding thongs....hmm no, I'll leave those til the wedding!
hahaha!
Anyway, today was relatively productive in terms of composition work, but I haven't touched a piano in terms of practicing since my last lesson...oopsie. I will get back on track though... Prioritizing is such a silly thing. The problem is that I'm thinking ahead to xmas break when I will have a completely new piece to write for my Jan31'st application deadline, and basically have to learn all my recital rep.... BUT, i need to put that out of my mind so that I can concentrate on perfecting Haydn for my Jury and then finshing up composing this piece. I also need to get the 3 pieces in my portfolio bound nicely so it is a pleasant looking portfolio.
We had an amazing lecture/talk/discussion at composition seminar on Monday about grad schools and grants and work options and scholarships and all the things like that we have to look forward in our careers as composers. It was good info and exciting, though I wish we had covered that before I learned the majority of it the hard way this year.
ANyway, I'm off for the evening!

So, I've set up a fileposting place on the internet for myself. I will be using it to post recordings of my pieces as they are available. Right now, the Alzheimer's Variations are available, so if you didn't get a chance to hear them at school last monday, please go there and download them or stream them, and let me know if the streaming works. I believe you can leave comments there, or feel free to leave them here or email.
Click Here!

Other than that, tonight was productive, I got a good start on an assignment due thursday, and I have gone from 1/2 finished to 2/3rds finished on my ensemble piece this weekend. Only two more instruments to compose excerpts for and I'll be finished! I also have to organize a set of sexy/love themed popular music to play for this diabetes dinner this thursday as well as start thinking/recording pieces for my dad's retirement. As per usual, lots to do!

I thought my house was bad with the small bananas, but slowly everything has been shrinking...my mom has been buying small mini-yogurts and now mini-cheese strings.... it's starting to drive me batty!

I have to work on more applications this weekend, not that they are due, but they delete unfinished applications on web-servers, which is stupid. Anyway, the McGill one is in progress, reference letters aretaken care of , and transcripts are good, so I just need to finish my portfolio and then yay! send it off in the mail.

there's no dance jam tonight, as there is a show next weekend involving a bunch of people in the group, so I will be going to that next weekend, if anyone is interested in seeing the dancer I will be having in my recital as well as the other dancers I've been improvising with, let me know!

It's been a good week.
Thursday:
-lesson went very well. He was very impressed with the improvement of the Haydn. I mentioned that I thought he completely overreacted the week before and he responded that all he has to go on was what I present to him; last week was unacceptable, and he lectured me then sent me away, when I brought it back it was in much better shape.. therefore he wasn't going to question his teaching methods. It made sense and I was ok with that.
-Piano Ped presentation went very well. I felt a little underprepared, but after the presentation she commented on how it was an extremely well-prepared and researched presentation. I'm excited to see how her reaction translates into a mark...
-Student cancelled piano lesson, so that gave me some nice downtime! yay!
-Dance class accompaniment/work went well. I got some really good compliments from the modern teacher about my choices/style of music. She told me I had a really good touch for modern class. Finally- I'd been worried about what music to play for modern cause the aesthetic is so different from Ballet. I'm also starting to feel more comfortable with understanding the movements and what kind of music suits them!
- The improvised music ensemble had it's first public performance last night, and it went over quite well! It was a lot of fun, and it feels good to be associating music with fun(something I haven't seen/felt enough of at school lately). I also performed some of the Kurtag pieces, and got some nice compliments on them.

Today, we got orchestration tests back, it was my lowest mark so far on a test in that course... only 90%.

Plans for this weekend are to make major progress on this ensemble piece... I need to finish writing the musical excerpts SOON if I'm going to have it finished in time for the application for McGill. Also practicing of course, but I really need to get this piece into the finishing touch stage of the game.

Post #301

That's right, I have posted 300 times in my blogging life! Pretty crazy!

Anyway, tomorrow is lesson day. I'm feeling pretty good about being prepared and that the Haydn will go well and my teacher will say it's alright to play for my Jury, but I'm having issues not being bitter about some of the things that were said last week. I'm going to be unimpressed if he tries to make a big deal out of the improvement, because it wasn't that bad to begin with, I simply made a choice to prioritize differently than he would prefer.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. After my lesson, I have a presentation to give for my piano pedagogy course. I have been familiarizing myself with the method books I have to compare, and I've planned a way of presenting. She really enjoyed the excessive creativity and cheesiness of my last assignment, so I will go overboard for this one too. I am going to present it in character: I will be a beginner piano method book salesperson who has been referred to her. The presentation will revolve around all of the topics she outlined in the course outline, so I'll basically address each of those concerns one after another.

After the presentation, choir as usual and then teaching a piano lesson and then go to work. After work, I have to rush back to the school for the new music ensemble's debut improvisation performance at the Daily Bread Cafe, 7:30pmish. It will be interesting... I will also be accompanying a singer in some Ives songs as well as playing some of the Kurtag pieces.

And that's enough typing for tonight, I will go and be productive for a while.

I feel guilty.
a) I slept for 12 hours after I went to bed last night
this woulnd't have been terrible, except for
2) I was up working on the computer until 4 am last night....

anyway, that makes for a productive evening.
In my defense, I had been up excessively late every evening this past week and before that, and I had to work at 9am both days this weekend, so sleep has been slim lately.

In other news, I'm excited about Constant Glucose Monitoring advancements. Most of you know that I test my blood sugar throughout the day. Now, they are developing technology that will be a patch that I wear that will wirelessly transmit my glucose readings to a meter. The result is less bleeding, in fact none.. and I will have accurate results that can show exactly how my sugars move up and down throughout the day. The problem is that it will be costly and not covered by pharmacare, and it needs FDA approval... so it's not going to be quickly, but Im excited nonetheless.

Now, back to work!

I feel good. I shall try and be of few words, but my piece was played today.
A few people had laughed when they heard the title, but I believe they repented once they heard the piece. One of my friends actually appologized for her misunderstanding.
I read the program notes/explanation of the piece before Diane played it - I was so nervous, but I don't think I did too badly. I was worried about being overly emotional during or after the performance, but I held myself together.
Diane played a very convincing and powerful performance, and we got a few people ovating in standing position too. I heard nothing but positive feedback from everyone I talked to. Diane's teacher pointed out that the response we got from the audience was above and beyond the normal of what can be expected from a student audience: They were silent and actually involved in the performance.
A number of people mentioned how emotionally moving it was for them, and that means so much; to know that my intentions were felt and effective.
At this point, I can only hope that I will find a way to have my ensemble piece be as effective in presenting the concept of the piece.
Orchestration test didn't go so well... I guessed on a few definitions... it's so frustrating when you recall reading a word and making an effort to remember that word, but then completely blanking out on the context of it. I didn't quite finish the last question - an orchestration of a string orchestra segment into pitched percussion... but there were a lot of people who didn't realize there had been a fourth page.... I'm assuming he will probably be adding some marks to everyone's grade as was the case with the first test.

Yestereve was delightful, though the day was long.
During the day, I had worked my noram 9-5 ballet pianoing. I came home ate dindin and then took a short 20 minute nap. I had falled just enough asleep to wake up to see that my clock said 9pm..AH! I needed to leave the house just after 7pm to make it early for the 8pm play we were going to see. Luckily the clock lied to me.. mostly because I was confused at the time change, and set my clock an hour in the wrong direction.
This story has a happy ending, because I was perfectly on time and all that.
The play was absolutely delightful. I laughed quite a bit. One thing I'm a little unclear about....
One of the characters had the same designer shoes as me... you know, the fancy velcro ones... Anyway, the thing was that the particular character was nowhere near as popular or cool as someone who wears my shoes should be. Are they trying to insinuate something about my shoes?!? I don't understand!
After that, I practiced at the school for exactly one hour. I got done exactly what I wanted; I got all of the sections of the Haydn Rondo memorized at a reasonable tempo. I ran through it afterwards from start to end, but there were some minor areas of undertaintly in terms of which section/chord came next, so that is the next step. Considering I got the whole movement memorized in 3-50 bar segments between last night and the night before, I'm not worried about security. After I practice it today sometime, it should be secure enough in the memory to play it for my lesson, and it will be stellar by thursday. That's the theory; as long as it's good enough for David to not cancel my half-jury I'm happy, and I'm reasonably certain that that will be the outcome.
After practicing, I went to Amy from school's house. She and the other people I had gone to the play, plus a few more were there playing boardgames and having a delightful time. We played this game called "What the Fuck". Basically, it asks random questions that can be incredibly revealing about the person answering.. or mildly retarded. The only problem was that no matter how hard you think about the questions, the majority of them involved things that would not actually ever come into reality. Anyway, the game was a great deal of fun.
Today I played for a Ballet Workshop which was interesting, even though it started at bloody 9am on a Sunday morning. Gah, 2 early mornings in a row, YUCK!
On the to-do list today are quite a few things. I have to figure out if there is a dance jam tonight, maybe I'll just go and see if there is one, if there isn't then I'll go straight to the school and practice. I also need to get some serious work done on this ensemble piece, as the deadline is coming up.
I need to finish writing the melodic segments... thats really the only thing left that will take thinking about. Once I have the fragment, its a matter of transposing it into all the applicable keys and then formatting it into as small as space as possible and then plugging it into the right place on the parts. I have it all organized in photoshop, so it's all good.
OOH OOH, I have good news about my recital. I officially have a dancer who is willing and excited to be part of my recital. I work with her at the ballet and she is wonderful. This is very exciting and we're both looking forward to starting rehearsals.

I had been worrying a bit about my piece being performed on Monday. Not about the performer, she is great and I'm glad that she's working on it. I was worried about the effectiveness of the piece. What would happen if I spent so much time working on such a personal piece and people were completely unaffected by it. That would be terrible.
Today Diane's teacher stopped me and asked if I heard about the masterclass. I hadn't. I didn't even know that she was playing it there. The the teacher informed me that Diane played it there and it had everyone moved to tears.
It was not my intention to write incredibly depressing music, but I couldn't have asked for a better compliment to know that my music was that moving.
It is also incredibly reassuring to know that my pianist is that comfortable with the music and had prepared it to that level.

worst lesson ever.
not during, but after I actually felt myself having to hold back tears. I just wanted to lock myself in a practice room and work ont he bastard Haydn piece I butchered in my lesson, but the only room openw as the one across from my teacher's studio... and that wasn't going to happen. I was getting frustrated and it was not good. Eventually I found a room and I was less physically emotional. I was calmer, but my mind was in a bit of a flurry.
Luckily I remained fairl on task with practicing, but I kept wondering to what degree my teacher was right.... 'have I really not developed any tenacity or perseverance since I've been in school?'
I felt angry and guilty that I had even done a lesson today since I knew it was going to be bad.
The stupidest thing was that I tried to play it from memory today. I was totally not prepared for that.... it was actually the first time I had tried to play the whole thing without the music.... it's just it had been feeling more and more comfortable and I had been practicing sections without music for a bit now...
Anyway, the moral is that i wasn't prepared and I chose to present that to my teacher in a lesson. He wants me to focus solely on that piece between now and the Jury...the good thing being that it gives me the license to focus just on that. well and the ensemble piece I'm composing and on the rest of application stuff, oh and the new music ensemble performances coming up and the diabetes dinner I'm playing at, and assignments and whatever else I'm forgetting...
Speaking of assignments, I should get around to doing that orchestration thingy for tomorrow... yay!

silly day

holy poop today was long.
I woke up early to drive my parents to work.... more realistically I had a periodontist appointment at 8:30. It was good, the estimate on cost was what I expected... eek.
Next I had to 'drop off' passport applications for my parents... they neglected to inform me that this would take at least an hour and a half of my life standing in one of those horrendously long lines with a bunch of people who equally hate being there....
Then I went to U of W to order transcripts. They will be prepared on the 20th of Nov.
Then I went to U of M for transcripts. The Financial aid people were clueless as to the SSHRC scholarship that i wanted to ask about... so after being sent 2 other places, I ended up at Grad studies and still didn't get any definate answers. more on that later...
I ordered my transcripts at UM and they will be ready for tomorrow.
ANyway... so this SSHRC scholarship is fairly important- 17.5 thousand dollars in graduate student funding. enough for me to not have to worry about living while i'm studying.... this also means that I can afford to go to whichever school will accept me.... or that I can move out even if I have to stay in the Peg(provided that I get the scholarship) The moral of the story is that I missed the deadline because the notice wasn't posted, and I only found out about the schoarhip a short while ago. I got a phone call returned to me later in the day from the lady in Grad Studies who organizes the scholarhips.... Long Story Short, if I can get everything together for her in a day or two, she'll allow my application!! After fretting and working hard today, Igot my paperwork done, BUT I still need 2 letters of reference and a departmental appraisal.... I feel bad about rushing my profs, but I think they will understand...
I really hope that things go smoothly so that I can apply for this, I will kick myself and others ifI'm too late.
I practiced tonight, but all I've touched all week has beent he Haydn.. whcih is the piece for my Jury, so David will haev to understand that applications are coming and that my piece isn't done.. therefore I have priorities. I'm going to try to have the whole sonata in a state of memorizationish for my lesson, but I have accompanying to do tomorrow inght..... which is the other major distraction from my practicing..... having to learn 6 pieces in a week for an audition... but I won't complain.... only to David in my lesson so he'll understand why I don't have more lesson rep.

So reading week is shaping up to be an exciting time. To start it off, wedding in Las Vegas for a few days. This should be great fun AND I plan on making quite a bit of money at the casino...
Then I am going to a conference in Toronto for Diabetic Youth Advocacy. I remember mentioning about wanting to go to the international conference... but they picked someone else out of the Canadian applicants, but this one in Toronto should also be fun, though somewhat less exotic.
Now, if anyone out there is interested in going to Las Vegas, consider yourself invited! There are a lot of package deals (flight and hotel) which are quite a bit cheaper when booked for 2-people... so it could benefit both of us. Air and Hotel would probably be around 5-600$!!! Also, the wedding promisses to be a good time, and I will need a date anyway(although from what I hear, Las Vegas has no shortage of escorts...).
I realize that I probably won't hear anything back about this, BUT I want to make sure noone is going to be sitting all alone on reading week with nothing to do....
I'm starting to feel the stress that this month is going to mean for me. Scholarship applications and finishing up my portfolio of McGill application and the little things like getting transcripts and details about letters of reference to teachers. Luckily, I think I read the application deadline for UBC wrong, so I have an extra few weeks to get that ready.. and that one requires an extra piece... which is actuall possible with the extra time! yay! Nevertheless, I started that application procedure tonight, so all will be well!

grrrr
so, no cavities at my appointment, and very little plaque and/or tartar if any.
so in theory.. I had a good dentist appointment, right?!?
NOT!
Apparently there's a reason the dentist always tells you to only use a soft brush - apparently it is possible to brush away more than just the filth that covers your teeth....
Apparently I brushed away a few millimeters of my gums- gum recession.
The dentist recommended me to a periodontist because I should have skin grafts done to replace the gum. Otherwise, the roots of some teeth are exposed and prone to cavities because the root doesn't have enamel on it like the body of the tooth does.
I've done some looking aroud on the internet and I do want to have it done, BUT my dad is retired as of Jan 1, so I need to get it done STAT to make use of his dental insurance.. cause I doubt that UMSU dental covers that....
SO I got a lecture about how to brush and how I have to find the happy medium between not brushing well and overzealous brushing....

On the other hand... the last remaining Adult tooth to come in to my mouth has travelled a long way since 2004. We compared the x-ray from then to now and the tooth is in such a different position!! At present it is a functioning tooth which is much better than the gaping hole that I had when I was 18(when my baby one was yanked) or the various positions of stump that was protruding over these past 5 years.

I saw this cartoon on the internet and just had to share it with you all.
Every once in a while, I'll be talking to a friend that reads my blog, and I find myself being frustrated that they haven't read the post that I just put up 15 minutes before....
I need a kick in the but every once in a while to remind me that I actually do have to participate in the real world...





I feel silly, I still haven't actually written, well barely any of the actual music for this ensemble piece. I'm getting more detailed in the conceptual ideas of what musical content-ish that I want, but few actual notes have been written. For example:
I know that I want the Basson line to have jumps of large intervals and incorporate chromatic spurts with those leaps and that it should have a spastic sort of character, BUT does it matter what those intervals are, or where those chromatic segments lie?!?
alas, I have been doing some sketching of the shapes of what I'm looking for, but nothing specific yet, I need to figure out whether I'm going to use tonality or not, or even if individual lines should have favoured pitches, regardless of the other parts....
These will be the issues to be talked about at tomorrow's lesson.

Cinderella was wonderful. And the company was wonderful as well, I went with Olivia and Chris and Brendan. Apparently all three guys were Olivia's dates.... meh, thats fine and dandy. We went for dinner before which was nice, albeit quite rushed.
After the performance, I gave Brendan a ride home cause I went to practice. It was intensely productive, I learned the parts of the Haydn Finale that I hadn't yet touched... and today they are up to the same speed as the rest of the movement. I also learned 3 of the harder bars of the Liszt piece, not fast enough, but at least they are in the fingers.
I never got ahold of David to sign my forms for friday, BUT I emailed them to him so he could look at them this weekend, and he edited the letter part of it and approved the program, so now he just has to sign it. I have the form filled out and the cheques made out, so it's almost set!
Tonight is a dance jam. I hope there are actually people there... I can't wait to ask some of the dancers about their willingness to participate in my recital... I suppose that could be a barrier to overcome if none of the dancers are willing.... Oh well, I refuse to recognize that as a possibility.

Sadness - my Polish piano friend from the ballet has carpel tunnel syndrome and she said her fingers went numb tonight after playing for 16 counts.... She said she's been to physio and she's trying to do exercises.. otherwise she might have to have surgery. It's quite unfortunate, she is quite a fine pianist (russian school trained) and ballet class is her only source of income. I really hope there is some positive outcome that can happen.
Unfortunately, there are these risks when you rely so heavily on some part of your body for work. I wonder if there is worker's compensation for this situation... I'll be interested to hear what happens.
Tomorrow night I'm going to the ballet "Cinderella", a modern adaptation of the classic fairytale. I saw it when it premiered a few years back, and I understand that it is even better this time around.
Update - grad school applications are underway, well the McGill one is at least. I also talked to my composition teacher from last year as well as my piano teacher about getting letters of reference. I know they are both highly supportive of me, and plus my former composition teacher did his PhD at UBC, so his endorsement of me might carry some extra weight.. I hope... Once I have all my applications underway, I have to go to the school and request transcripts to be sent to those schools. Oh, yes, and the big thing is that I have to have a portfolio put together!!!.... eeek.
Also of importance, I have the things ready for my recital to be booked. I just need to get the sheet signed by David and then give them money for deposits. I reeeeally want to get it done on monday so I know I have my date and I don;t have to worry about it after that.... only preparation and practice practice practice.

Wow, does time ever fly by...

I was shocked to read that November is Diabetes Month.. not because I forgot that there was such a thing, rather I couldn't believe that it had been a whole year since I wrote about it on my blog last year.... It really doesn't seem like that long ago... but alas it was.

Reminder- I am an insulin dependant diabetic. With the proper control and maintenance, I can live a long and healthy life.. but there's just all those pesky little things that get in the way - AKA life!
I read on the internet the other day that this is the best time in history to have diabetes. It goes without saying that diabetes management keeps improving, so it is always the best time to be diabetic provided you are comparing to the past. But he had a point:
-Our knowledge about metabolism and the effect of insulin on the body is getting better all the time.
-There is a lot of excitement in the field of islet transplant and stemcell research which has shown some success so far and a lot of promise.
-With all the self-help and mumbly going on these days, there is a major shift towards healthy living (which is appearing as a necessity for a continent of unhealthy overweight people) which can help a lot for everyone, especially diabetics and their control.
-With blogs becoming more popular than ever, it is becoming easier to find out how other diabetics manage and survive AND maintain a life that isn't completely overrun by needles and bloodglucose testing.

All of these are great things and they create an exciting world to live in. As always, Diabetes month is prompting me to take better control and improve myself so that diabetes will have less impact on the rest my life.

Anyway, with that, I wish everyone a Happy Diabetes Month!

I was worried there might not be snow for Halloween. I shouldn't have, there always is. Every Halloween I can remember, there was either snow on the ground before it, or it was snowing fiercely on the night. Keep in mind that I have an extremely sporadic memory, but I stand by there always being snow on Halloween.

I looked at my bank records the other day, and it's frightening to look at the amount I have been spending lately, especially the amount that I spent on food. As a result, I'm no longer going to allow myself to carry my wallet around when I go to school. I think I'm only going to take my bus pass and some emergency money with me. I don't think I actually need to have my driver's license with me, but please speak up if there is some reason that I do. Anyway, I will leave my regular wallet at home with credit and debit cards and id and stuff, but I have that detachable part of my wallet that can hold bus pass and some other cards.

Composition lesson today was very good and short. He quite liked the final variation and he made some notation suggestions which I will implement and then I can ignore the piece until I have to submit it. We also talked about the ensemble piece and got me started on thinking of whether it should be a tonal piece or not. Tricky question...

sigh of relief

it took forever, but tonight I filled in the empty measures which were taunting me in this blasted fourth variation. I'm SOOOOOO HAPPY!
I played through it and I really like it! Tomorrow I am taking it to my composition lesson, and then he will tell me what I need to fix and give me some specific guidelines on notation and then I will do those things and be done with this piece!!
I also will be booking it into the noon-hour recital on the 20'th, so provided everthing goes well tomorrow morning, I will be able to officially ignore this piece by the end of the week!
and finally I will be able to put the focus on the ensemble piece and practicing piano.

I went to the dance studio, but apparently there was not to be a dance jam tonight. The only other person who showed up was Tim, the percussionist. We talked for a half an hour and I mentioned to him that I might require him for my recital if it's going to be more of an ensemble thing, and he said he would be very interested to help me out. Now, I just need to get ahold of the dancers and make sure they feel the same way.

Friday night, I fell for the second time that day... it hurt more than the first time. It also landed on my elbow, so itswelled up like nobody's business. The swelling is down, but it left a nasty nasty bruise. My arms are harbouring a lot of tension too, but I got some good practicing done on my Beethoven sonata saturday night. I'm playing the second movement at my lesson, so it needs to be spiffy. It is still much slower than tempo, but I think David's theory is that you should practice it perfect at whatever tempo and raise it up tot eh final in stages... that way, you've been practicing it perfectly all along. I'm also going to play Haydn also, my half jury will be in December.. early probably, so I can't let that slip out of mind. I will try and get the first movement learned up to tempo for my lesson and also learn the middle pages of the rondo. Then it will all be learned and all that will remain is to get the rondo up to speed.

One of my friends was talking about how sexual innuendo humour or whatnot has become somewhat cliche. I think it's the fact that what used to be shocking is no longer so, so the humour value of it has declined. My friend said that someone's suggestion was that humour should shift back to something shocking again; say, racism.... I don't know about that suggestion, but if we're looking for something shocking to laugh at.. I think I have just the thing.
I was asking my friend Scotty to show me some stuff in Photoshop, so I can edit the pictures I took from Churchill to make my trip seem even more exciting... He took the liberty of editing some of the pictures and superimposing them so it's absolutely delightful!!!
Enjoy!!!!

slow but sure

this fourth variation is slowly coming together. I only have about 6 more bars to add in and then it will be complete. I gave the rest of it to Diane so she can start learning the notes. Performance date will be Nov. 20/06, just over 3 weeks from now. I'll say it AGAIN: I'm hoping to have it finished and out of the way this weekend. I also need to start composing the actual musical elements of this ensemble piece.
Today I fell down while attempting to jaywalk across Pembina. The contents of my left pocket gave me a nasty charley-horse and its painful to well... anything involving that particular leg - walking, for example. Nevertheless, it will heal soon enough.
I need to also practice this weekend, I had a good lesson even though I hadn't much prepared, but I have to have lots ready for next lesson.. there shouldn't be any excuse to not have a full 2 hour lesson this thursday.
So ya, I had a doctor's appt today - he didn't even have the lab results which I had already seen. Therefore, waste of time in the truest sense of the words. I told him that they were an improvement fromthe time before, and he was happy with that. I was not really impressed with getting nothing for waking up early, but oh well. Between dropping parents off and the appointment, I went for breakfast and ate Banana-Chocolate-Chip pancakes!!!! delicious.
Also the experimental improv ensemble I'm in at school separated into streams today. The group I'm in is the improvised music/theatre group.... it was a lot of fun and much more successful as a group improv than it had previously been. This venture is starting to seem more promising!
went to symphony tonight, saw pianist play Mozart and Strauss pieces. Very good soloist, not so impressed with the orchestra tonight, but oh well.

Good lesson today.
We worked on half movements of some of the remaining dance movements in the Bach piece I'm doing. It was a good approach because I had only practiced for a few days, so it was simpler rep- more accesible.it also meant that I got a good lesson on the style of the movements, so while I put some effort into learning them already, now I have a strong idea of what the character of each movement should be, so I can learn the rest with renewed vigour and accuracy.
The other super awesome part of my lesson was that I approached David about doing an improvisational dance collaboration in my recital. He had been opposed to it earlier, but this time he heard me out. He expressed his concerns and we talked about ways to alleviate those concerns. I also talked to the other piano faculty member who will be around for my recital - he also gave a preliminary go-ahead. Both of them want me to write down as much as I can about time, format, organization and whatever else I can think of. The idea is to collect as much detail as possible and setting paramaters without defining all the specifics of what will ultimately be an improvised performance!
The next step with this comes this sunday. I'm going to talk to some of the dancers and see who would be interested in doing this with me.
Anyway, enough jibber jabber for one night.. I need to compose.. gah!

I had made plans to see my friend Anna, who I worked with this summer, before she moved back to Germany. As she leaves tomorrow, those plans were for tonight. We had made vague plans to do dinner tonight around 6ishand that was fine with both of us. Today though, I got a call from our former boss who told me that he had taken the liberty of making reservations for us at Ichiban(Japanese Steak House) for 6:30 and that the bill was on him....
It was a wonderful gesture, and a wonderful meal. I've only had steak a few times in my life, and I never paid attention to how it was cooked, but I think it was generally on the medium to well side of things. Tonight all the other people ordered theirs medium-rare, so I said the same for the sake of simplicity. This is how I like my steak.... remind me of that if I ever can't remember.
We also went to see Departed , the new star-studded gangstar movie. It was so bloody, it made me sad. Too much gore for me.
It was wonderful to see Anna once more before she leaves to go home. Her english had improved quite a bit from when I last saw her in the summer. Add to the list one more friend of mine that no longer lives in the same country as I do.
As you can tell from my account of the evening, I didn't get any more practicing done this evening, and not during the daytime either..... oopsie. I have some random new snippets of Bach for my lesson on Thursday, so that should give us something to work on. Also for discussion in my lesson are:
-dance-piano improvised duet for my chamber music recital aspect....
-Kurtag 20'th century piano music for new music ensemble
-hmm, im sure there was something else.... anyway, it will be hopefully the last of my lessons that I will have less than enough repertoire to work on.
grrr, my hand is tense, so it's good I didn't play much today.
on the other hand, I only got a bit of composition done today

Woohoo!
so ya, that test I thought I did well on..... I got 100% Kickass!! it makes up for the fact that I didn't do so hot on the assignment that we also did last week.
On this trip, I didn't spend too much time being productive, but on the bus ride up I did a lot of brainstorming and I really have a stronger concept about how to musically depict anger in alzheimers for this last variation. I also developed a way to use the harmonic material of the theme in a way that will sound different from the other movements. I became aware that it was all sounding a lot the same, when I played the earlier version of that movement for the pianist on Friday. Even while I was playing it, I was hating it and it was uninventive and bland. it was true.... nevertheless, I have figured out what I'm going to do with this movement and when I get it written down, it had better sound much better, or I will be SUPER_PMS-y!
I'm worried about piano lesson this week, as it will be 2 weeks since my last lesson- problematic because I haven't practiced piano since soon after then AS WELL AS I barely had anything to play for him that lesson.... it will be pretty much a month with little to no development!!
Today in ballet class, I realized that I'm still super tense... it hasn't been specifically the excessive playing that is causing it... I'm stressed in general, so i need to address that. While I work on that I will just have to make sure that I am stretching and relaxing a lot to prevent further injury. Nevertheless, my thumb is not a problem anymore so I'm ready to get back to playing.

Shortest trip AND Longest trip ever

I'm back from Churchill. I left on thursday night and got back this morning, so I was only gone for three and a half days, but it seemed like a lot longer. I'll write more about the trip when I have a bit more time, but here are some initial reactions.
- 4 days in a row of trying to sleep on some kind of moving vehicle is not so good(but not all that bad)
-Churchill is a very interesting place filled with historical relevance to the development of Canada as a country.
-I'm so happy to have spent time with my sister and brother-in-law to be. They are both fun and great!
-Fresh kelp from the Arctic Ocean - doesn't taste bad perse, but it has an odd texture.
-Polar Bears- not really all that exciting for me, but it was still awesome and important to see them in their natural environment, albeit too far away for cameras to focus in on. - although this was actually close range to see them on foot.

Anyway, I got home today at 7am, and I took a little nap, and now I'm ready to go, so here we go, off to school!!!!!!!!

good test

I think I did well on my orchestration - woodwinds test today. It felt good, and I caught myself making a stupid mistake, but I rectified that quickly enough. The prof left the room for a meeting, which I thought was a little unkosher, but at the same time, since he didn't actually reappear until 10 minutes after the end of class..I'm glad he did, because I needed the extra time.
I also finally got ahold of the scores for the new music piece I will be learning. It is a series of graded pieces, adn I made photocopies of the ones that have to do with clusters. They're by Gyorgy Kurtag, ca. 1981. The early ones are really fun, they are a beginner's approach to the piano, without the worries of right notes or whatnot. While these won't be too technically challenging(at all), they will give me the challenge of finding the musicality within the mashing of the keyboard with palms or arms.
On the bus ride home, I got to have a talk with the prof who is organizing the improvised music ensemble at school. It was great to talk about some of the other experiences I've had with improvising outside of the school. It was also interesting that he was interested in hearing some suggestions I might have in terms of the school ensemble....
I'm almost done the final variation left to write in my set. I'm going to throw a rough draft at my pianist tomorrow and see if the notation is clear and if she has any comments/suggestions. Freedom is so close, I can almost taste it....
On the bus today, I think I had the breakthrough that will and/or has allowed me to envision the form as a whole for the ensemble piece!! Yippee!!

I think I'm pissy

so, my mom was complaining about some retail misunderstanding related to a crappy catalogue which was unclear....
Natuarally, I bitched her out /lectured her on not taking responsibility to research her purchase on the internet (which is easier than ever) and how she could have avoided the whole situation by taking the 5 minutes to look it up herself.
Afterwards, I looked up the catalogue and found that it was somewhat unclear, so I fired off an email to them bitching about how 12$ is ENTIRELY ridiculous as a price for a single little shot glass shaped like a boot.

Next on my list... I was eating yogourt. while it said it had less than 50 calories per little cup, it didn't have the carbohydrates listed, and thats what I needed to know to do my insulin dosing. I went to the website to find how many carbs there were. Fine and dandy, i figured it out.. but then I realized that it was infact not only 50 calories per container... there were actually more.....
Since i was in a bit of a tiffy to begin, I went to their "contact us" section and fired this one off:
"
I wonder if your nutritional calculator is broken? I ask specifically to your [Insert Brand Here] Fat Free yogourt.
The packaging and advertising clearly states that it has less than 50 calories per 113 serving.
When I went to find out the carbohydrates and other information, I noticed that they are based on a 125 ml serving - fine, I can do simple mathematical calculations, but it seems you people can not.
If there are 60 calories per 125 ml serving, then how can you justify that the 54.24 calories which are in 113ml are UNDER 50 calories?
I am left wondering if a) this is the wrong nutritional information, b) your math skills are not up to par, or c) you comprehension of the relation to 50 calories has been confused or otherwise misrepresented.
I would appreciate a personal response as well as the rectification to your nutritional information which you owe your customers.
"


Next, I was sent by my parents to pick up supper for the family. This was all good. But, when I was quite excited about the cookie selection the woman behind me had the nerve to comment "You must not get out much"! What a bitch! It would have been fine if she laughed at it or something, but when I replied "sadly, it's true..." - NOTHING!! she actually meant it! At least the cahier laughed.... but I was not impressed. I should have told that bitch off....


Nevertheless, I'm in a goodish mood. It's one of those moods where I'm only bitchy if something sets me off...

Tonight I have to do a little more composing, but also have to study for an orchestration test tomorrow. The transposition thing is going to throw me a little, BUT i think I will handle it. Also, I don't have any real concept of the ranges of these instruments, so theres some memorizing to do tonight....

Holy Shit!! for a minute, I thought that there were plantanes in my kitchen.... but apparently it's just perspective - there are four regular sized bananas in my kitchen!

so many things flying through my noggin

I'm going to Churchill this weekend!
My teacher is going to Dalas, so I don't have a lesson -so I don't have to feel guilty about not practicing this week at all!
My thumb was feeling so much better today, playing for ballet class today upset it a little, but I don't have to play piano again til thursday, so it will have a few days of rest!
Dance jam last night! - Best EVER!!! as in the best dance jam we've done so far AND one of the better experiences I've ever had in my life. Wow, wonderful!
Good weekend- I saw my friend Cara kickbox and she totally kicked ass! I could tell that she was doing super well AND she won the match! It was an awesome fight too, they were evenly skilled so they challenged each other. In the end, Cara is as fierce as a small Chilean army, so she won!
I also got to help celebrate birthdays of both Cara as well as my friend Olivia from school - they both have the same birthday, conveniently for me!
I had my composition lesson today. My prof really really likes the score for the piano variations. He's impressed with how I did the graphic representation of the score with the temporal shifts. We spent a good deal of time talking about the other piece. It's been developing in the back (and more recently other parts) of my brain for a while. I'm making sure I have the formal design set before I actually write music for it. I have the first and the last section set - now I have to figure out what I want to do in the middle. The general idea of the piece is to balance playing and listening within an ensemble environment. While the outer sections separate those two aspects so the player can really concentrate, I want the middle section(s) to have them listen to the ensemble texture WHILE playing in it. mumbly mumbly mumbly
I'm officially set to go to Churchill now.... I got substitutes for 4 of my 5 ballet classes on saturday and the teacher is fine with not having a sub for the other one. I think that all of the concerns are dealt with, so I can just be excited about going to the far north!

I'm realizing now that I am going to need to cancel my lesson next week... I might be saved because I know David is going to Dallas sometime next week, but my thumb hurts and I'm going to take a week off of practicing... I can't avoid dance classes, but im definately avoiding practicing.
Hopefully this will give me the chance to focus on composition and whatever else.
I have my thumb taped up so it is somewhat stabalized... I'm going to try that more over the next while and hope it gets better quickly

so much for trying to relax my thumb and avoid playing piano.....
I worked accompanying musical theatre classes tonight for 3 and a bit hours...
Tomorrow is my usual 6.25 and then i took on another class on sunday.
boo, oh well

umm, i'm having a bit of writer's(composer's) block with this last variation. Nevertheless, Diane has and is learning the other movements, so. i don't even understand how that justifies my position... i guess it doesn't. The moral of the story is that I have my compositional efforts on a timeline. This last variation needs to be done by early next week at the latest...hopefully by the end of the weekend. Once that is done, I can ignore it until I have to write up the performance and program notes... which I will get Diane to help me write, by talking to her about what I need to say to the performer aside from whats on the page.
Next weekend is the trip to Churchill, which I am counting on to give me inspiration for the other piece I'm working on. The form is starting to finally take shape.....
I had thought I had found the perfect form early on... but then I realized that it was kinda mathematically impossible for things to work out the way I had wanted. I've been putting a lot of thought into it lately, and by re-examining what effect I want and which aspects of the piece are most important, I've been able to find logical formal designs that can fit the piece. I started with the final movement, and I'm working backwards. I made notes about what was left in the air with the last movement,a dn then I've been sculpting the second-to-last movement to address those concerns. in a piece with so much chance involved, it's good to know which guaruntees are required and find a way to make them turn out.
The idea is that I will have the form worked out this week and then I will discover musical inspiration while watching polar bears in Churchill next weekend.

feeling run down

judging from lack of blog posts lately and the fact that everyone I actually do see around school lately is busy, I trust that I'm not the only one feeling run down lately.
the collection of late nights that I have been having lately had caught up with me. Add to that the fact that my day today ran pretty much straight through from leaving my house at 8 am until I returned home at 7:30 pm. When I got home, I was two things: hungry and tired. I ate, and then went to bed. Now that I have had my 3.5 hour nap, I'm feeling almost awake enough to function. I think I will try and do a little composition and then go back to bed for a full night's rest!
Some say great minds think alike... well, I like to say great thumbs think alike.... today at least. I guess with not being rested enough and trying to raise the intensity of myu practicing, I was not relaxed enough and I was not keeping an eye on my arm tension... as a result I've been feeling a little sprain in my left thumb. It's nothing too serious, and it's something I've had before- it's one of the first things that happens when I am tense. I just need to ice it a lot and lay back on the playing for a bit- today I played dance classes for 2 and a bit hours, and I tried my best to not use my thumb at all...- it worked surprisingly well for marches and waltzes(oom-pas and oom-pas-pas) Anyway, back to the opening of this paragraph.....
After getting a call last night from my teacher to pre-warn me that he might have to possibly cancel/arrive late/ end my lesson early depending ont he time of his physiotherapy appointment this morning, which he was waiting to hear about... medium length story short, we had a one hour lesson and when I saw him later in the day, the diagnosis was a sprained thumb.
what a coinkidink!

it's still cold out like yesterday, BUT the sun is shining in theres a beautiful blue sky drizzled with clouds right now. There is only a sprinkling of snow on the ground to remind us of yesterday's.
As I may have mentioned, my dad will be retiring from his job of 40 some years in December. For as long as I can remember, every couple of months, he would be 'on-call' meaning that at any time they could call him up and tell him to go work at some station. For the family, this meant that we'd often get calls at 3am, but also that dad had unlimited use of his work vehicle. In recent years, this was of the utmost importance, because when he was on call, it all those complications of being a one-car family with 4 drivers all wanting to go places dissappeared. And let's face it, since Heather moved out, it has meant that I can use the car whenever I want because my mom doesn't go out on her own much during the week.
Now, tomorrow is going the be the last day that my dad will ever be on-call. To celebrate, I will be taking the family car to school today and certainly tomorrow (I am still not accepting the fact that I might someday have to take the bus to my 9am lessons.... gah!)
Hmm, piano practicing is still not at the desired level, but composition is coming along. I have the ending of the fourth variation fully notated and I made some executive decisions about developing the form of the final section of the other piece I am working on(ensemble).
Anyway, I should be off to school soon.... it's hard to get back into the swing of things after a four-day weekend.... not that I'm complaining at all.... YAY LONGLONG WEEKENDS!

It's SNOWING!!!!
Yay, I'm going to wear a toque and a scarf and mittens when I leave the house today! YAY!

In other news, I watched a movie today. IL POSTINO it was suggested to us by the conductor for this last WSO concert. The poem in the piece we sang was by Pablo Neruda, and this movie was about Pablo and his mailman, Mario. The movie was very good and i enjoyed it very much ,but... io non parlo l'italiano....
I did fairly well with following the movie and understanding what they were saying in general (thank you for good acting), but the main character Mario was so mumbly in his speech that it was especially difficult to understand him... and the nasality of his voice was obnoxious.
Anyway, the music in this one did the same thing as Brokeback mountain. Essentially one or two themes throughout the movie that just keep coming back, with barely any variation. It's kind of like the Leitmotif idea, hmm, not really, more like the love theme from La Boheme.. but there, Puccini does it SO MUCH BETTER. Oh well.
All in all, good movie; I just wish I understood Italian (or had downloaded the version with subtitles) so that I might have understood the intricacies of the movie.

So ya, this afternoon has been a throwaway for productivity. I woke up, ate and watched a movie... now I leave to work in less than an hour. I think I might get in a half an hour of practicing before I leave. Nevertheless, after I work, I'm heading to the school for the evening to get in some good practicing, and maybe even do some writing of that fourth variation.
Ooh, I'm also going to take back some library books today!! I realize that I've had some of them since the middle of second term last year....eep!

I just finished printing out the theme and four variations that I have completed of my set of piano variations. For those of you counting, I only have one more variation to do.
Yesterday and today, I spent quite a bit of time using photoshop to graphically edit some of the scores. Wow, it takes a lot of effort! I'm just doing simplistic stuff, but its very finnicky. Nevertheless, I think I did rather well and I'm very happy with the way they look.
This last variation (number 4 of 5) still needs to be written down on paper. I have some conceptual ideas and musical fragments, but I need to get it in a tangible form from which I can be more specific. Now that I have the printed forms of the other ones and they're edited and whatnot, I can focus just on this one, and practicing piano.
I am happy with the productivity I achieved this weekend, but I'm not going to stop yet. It's only 8 pm and that gives me time to practice some more as well as get started on the fourth variation. I wish I could have spent a little more time with my sister while she was in town, but we were both busy with either those concerts and work on my part, and shopping and travel arrangements on the part of my sister.
Hmm, maybe I should take a look at my academic courses and see if I have any assignments coming up.

In other news, I'm out of money for a while, but things aren't that bad... I already paid off my computer and one of the speeding tickets, now I just have to worry about the big speeding ticket and a little bit of random expenses on my credit card. Still, this will probably take me a few pay periods to clear up, but by Christmas, I should be good and ready to get back into debt, YAY!

I think I just read one of the most difficult phrases I've ever seen in french :
'trente autre retraites' - I'm sure a native french speaker would probably not have as much trouble as I, but still... wowee!

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
While I won't be as corny as one of my friends (not that there's anything wrong with that), I would like to say thanks to everyone:
I am thankful for everyone who reads my blog.
I am thankful for those who comment on my blog
I am thankful for cutting and pasting so I don't have to type "I am thankful for" a billion times
I am thankful for great friends who accept, understand, and improve me; each in their own way
I am thankful for a wonderful family that is supportive and loving
I am thankful for some of the lowest tuition fees in the world
I am thankful for music as a means of personal expression
I am thankful for music as a means of creative outlet
I am thankful for being able to study music and always learn more
I am thankful for all my experiences in the past which have led me to become the person I am today.

Thank you!

So, that piano lesson didn't go badly at all. He was quite happy with the fugue, and seeing how thats the big movement of the entire Bach, he's not worried about me getting the whole piece together at all. Being able to maintain concentration through 30 minutes of Bach is another issue...
That wil be the big challenge of my recital this year.... all my pieces are signifigantly long! and the comment on my recital last year was that I lost concentration on my mozart which was only 20 minutes... this year, I have 2 pieces longer than that....
the bach portion of the lesson did last about 40 minutes... and then I suggested that we do intensive practicing on the hard sections of my music. He said he'd need a little break before that so he made tea and went to the washroom while I was to choose what section we'd work on. I chose the passage of parallel fourths in the middle of the fugue in the fourth movement of Beethoven. We worked on it for just over an hour - 4 bars of music. It was a great refresher of how to approach practicing. It was incredibly productive....we basically got the prep work done so now I can practice that section in the same way as I practice everything else.
Lessons this year are going well!

I haven't posted much lately cause it's a busy life at the moment. Mostly, I have been practicing at the school at nights despite my hope to avoid doing that... But it's been good.
The theory is that if I do my practicing during normal waking hours - ie the day - then I can do my composition work at home at night. Most of the work is with the computer anyway, so I don't have to worry about the time or waking people up. Thus, I can work at home and not have to spend extra gas money. The problem with this theory is that I haven't had time during the days to practice, so I've had to do it at night. The other shortfalling was that I didn't practice all last weekend, or really during the week either.... oops.
This week will be different. I'm going to come earlier to school and make use of my reserved practice room time to get my practicing done during the day and then I will have my nights for composition.
I've been busy with a performance with the WSO this last week. Tonight is the last performance, and then I can have my life back. It has been an interesting experience, New Music and the like. Great piece and it's been fun performing it, though vocally tiring.

I REALLY NEED TO FINISH THE PIANO VARIATIONS, ARGH!!!!!!!!
I should have them done by the end of the week if I reasonably want Diane to learn them for November sometime. The theme and last variation are done, and she has them to start learning. Two fo the variations just need to be photoshopped a little and then I will have them done this weekend. One of them, I need to figure out an approach to doing it in photoshop... so just basically decisions and then doing the actual editing. The other one, I need to actually write... I have monday off... so I'm going to do a heck of a lot of work this weekend!!!

wow, when I decided to do this post, I was in a worried state. but I will end the post in a better mood because of the little walk I just took...
I'm worried because I only have one piece that has made enough progress since it's last appearance in lesson that I can play for my lesson tomorrow. The reason is poor prioritzing both of practicing itself as well as the work I did during the practicing. The Bach. While there was a large section in the middle which I had not touched as of last week, I now have the whole fugue learned and 10 metronome markings faster than the bulk of it was last week. This was a good accomplishment, BUT it translates into at the most - half an hour of lesson time- if I'm lucky.
I haven't had a full 2 hour lesson since I started back, because I just don't have enough of the rep under my fingers yet, to work on for that long of a lesson... but I do this forever... I want to be taking advantage of my lesson time. Even though it is neither David nor my favorite thing to do, I think I will have him do guided practicing with me tomorrow on the most difficult parts of the pieces. This way I know I have a secure and good start on those sections - also there is a theory that it will give me incentive to do the work on my own in the future, so I won't have to do that at my lessons.

Now, for the happy news... I found eggnog in my fridge!!!
I didn't even know they made it this time of year, but it suppose it is close enough to thanksgiving... regardless, YUMMY

more good news. I have picked my pianist to premiere my piano variations!
Diane!
I had wanted to hear a few of my colleagues play it and make a decision of who I wanted. I heard one and then one of the people told me today that he wouldn't be able to do it...I was a little worried because I had a preconception that he would be the best to play it (pretty much unfounded). Anyway, I had my Korean sister Diane play it for me tonight -
She had the character and the phrasing down perfect - just as I felt them, but I hadn't notated those things or told her. I also had her play it in a few different manners - using the music as a shell and expecting openness to change and some kind of improvisation. Needless to say, I was very impressed with her playing of my piece and I am excited to work with her on this project! Now, I need to really buckle down and get the music finished up so she can start learning the rest of it.

ANyway, off to bed with me, it's an early morning and a very long day ahead of me!

good times all around

today is my day off.
woke up early, drove parents to work (ie. slept in car until we got to my dad's work and I had to drive home) then paid my license and came home and went back to sleep. Slept the rest of the morning away and part of the afternoon. Did some practicing, and editing of my composition(I'll get to that in a bit)
ok, time to talk about it.... (it was a little bit) Composition lesson yesterday was very good. He mentioned that I should carry on with the graphic editing I was doing in some of the other movements, and how it was applicable to the newer ones.... it will be fun, but more work, but more room for creativity.. although I'm definately not a visual artist.... and I don't know how to make the music program do what I want it to do... so I will be doing it in Photoshop.
I had a talk with a friend last night - it had been long enough communicating only through small talk. From what I gather, we are now in a place where we can be comfortable around each other and actually have a friendship. I do believe this is a happy ending, or a happy beginning... Either way, I think things are now in a healthy place.
Tonight my sister is coming into town until next monday..... yay! except she is having wisdom teeth out, so some of these days will be less than pleasant for her, but at least it will be a nice opportunity to visit and spend time with her.
Oops, time to go pick up my dad from work, I'll write more later perhaps.

it's always good to have feedback on things that we create:
-compliments on performances are nice
-it's great to see someone enjoying a dinner or baking that you made
today I got some constructive comments on my thongs. Apparently, they should not be worn in a hottub. The new material I have started to use tends to stretch to about 4 times the regular size.
A friendly reminder that thongs made and distributed by MH2YC designs should only be handwashed in cold water.

I totally missed out on productivity this weekend. I had great fun, but both friday and saturday, I was out having fun. It is the beginning of the year, and I should be able to excuse myself, but I really wanted to get a lot done this weekend, and as it turns out, I haven't practiced piano since thursday.... eek!
I think I'm going to not go to the dance jam tonight, rather I will stay home and force myself to finish up some parts of this composition for piano variations and maybe go to the school to practice later. Or maybe I'll practice this evening at home some time in the middle.

woopsiedaisy

so i forgot to renew my license... I think i did that last year too...
it's just hard to keep track of the things I need to do. Especailly when I no longer have the car onm days off, I can't just up and go to the lincensing bureau... so i'm gonna make sure I do it this tuesday...
I also need to do tons and tons of composing tomorrow for my lesson which is monday morning. Eep, I seem to have not been productive again this week.... uh oh.
I made a pact with Lacey from school that neither of us will swear until wednesday morning..... at which point we will go drinking to celebrate!

so, I wasn't really pissy today. I was a little mumbly if people brought up the ticket topic, but other than that, I was sunshiney.
I made myself special hot chocolate, and the thermos kept it hot until after my piano lesson.
Piano lesson went very well. It was short, but we covered the Bach first movement. The intro section was good. I know the notes securely, but now I have to change it quite a bit to allow for the proper double dotting of the rhythms... the notes don't even closely line up as they look like they should on the page... oh wel! The fugue - David has always said he'd perfer to hear things perfect at a slower tempo.... but when I tried to play the fuge at about 2/3rds tempo, he stopped me and told me there woulnd't be anything he could say about it if it was that slow.... so I played the end of it much faster than I had learned it accurately - it wasn't overly sloppy actually. He excused the mistakes because he knew what point I had them learned to (tempowise) but this way he could hear the musical intentions and thoughts. There is a lot of reworking I have to do in this piece in terms of articulations... GARH! Nevertheless, it should be reasonable to change them now that I have somewhat securely learned the notes.
We also talked about the Diana McIntosh piece I'm playing. He played through all the different sections, which was good, now I have a certain aural image to go by. I hadn't even started learning notes enough to play it in a lesson, so it was a conceptual lesson taught on the piece. I'm super excited for this piece... it will be such fun. He doesn't want me to put the piece off, but he's not worried about me learning it. While it is fully notated, it is improvisatory in nature so the figurations don't require as much thought and effort as would compositionally sculpted musical fragments.
Luckily my special hotchocolate helped me through the pedagogy class....gah it was boring and I don't like the class. Choir went remarkably well, the conductor was in a good mood!
After choir, some friends and I went to the bar on campus for some drinks and nachos! yummy! good time!
I then bought my orchestration workbook, bought a bus pass, worked a few hours and went for dinner with my parents, came home and hung out with fi for a short short whle, and nw I'm here.
I have to still do some reading for an orchestration test tomorrow, so I'll leave you there...
All in all, a very good birthday!

Worst Present Ever!

FUCK!!!!!!!!
Stupid ass-faced piece of crab-ridden monkey cunt oozing puss and scabies!
Who actually gives out a speeding ticket less than an hour before someone's birthday?!?
fucking 250$ ?!?! ARGH!
add that to the 175$ one from the photo radar... and I officially can't afford to live..... I certainly can't afford to speed anymore... therefore, I can't afford to drive anymore. I'm going to cut myself off. I'm going to stop going to the school to practice at night, my parents will have to live with me practicing. Either that or I will just spend more time at the school instead of bussing home and then comign back later.
I also can't afford to have spent 20$ at moxies tonight - bastard!! fuck! if I hadn't gone, then I wouldn't have been in a rush to get to school, and I woud have been there 2 hours earlier and most likely wouldn't have gotten a ticket at all.
It's doubtful whether there was any benefit to even going to practice tonight. I was far too pissy to concentrate well. I'm far too pissy right now, and I still have to sleep before my fucking twat-ass early lesson tomoroww fucking morning at fuck fuck rfuck fuck fuck 9 fucking a!M
my special hot chocolate better fuckin well make me happytomorrow.
GAH MUMBLY!
I'm going to be pissy tomorrow, there's no way around it.
Be Warned!
PMS at its finest!

I just took a glance at the list I made myself yesterday, and it wasn't a very successful day. I did a little bit of practicing in the afternoon, but I didn't end up finishing my assignment until midnight at the school - where I had intended on practicing.. but nope.
I completely forgot about the speeding ticket.
Today the composer of that piece I want to talk to is performing at the school, so I will track her down there and either talk about it then, or set up a time to meet and discuss it later.
I also have only a few days left to renew my license..... eeep, I don't think I have time to get there during their dumb-ass business hours.
I did go to that diabetic meeting thing, which was fun. And since it's a sponsored event, the tea I had and whatever everyone else had was free!
Nevertheless, I'm off to save the world again! or go to school... I'll decide while I'm on the bus!

Today is my day off and Idon't have anything to leave the house for today until about 7pm. I also don't have a vehicle during the day, so that limits what I can do, or rather what I'm willing to take the bus to.
As per usual, I have lots to get done on my productivity tuesday -

Orchestration assignment - I actually did a bit of thinking about this already while helping a friend, and playing through it. It's now just a matter of sitting at the computer and making it happen. This time it's a 20 bar segment... far longer than the previous 8 bars!

I need to remember to phone and pay my photo radar ticket today. Thats right, I was speeding, and as can and should be expected as a citizen using the PUBLIC roadways of Winnipeg, my actions were recorded and I am thusly punished. While I am not happy about the excessive cost of the ticket, I will pay it because that is my social responsibility.

Practice, practice, practice! I've been working lots on my Bach, it would be nice to be able to play through the entire first movement, but I'm not sure if I'm quite there yet. Actually, I know that I'm not there yet, but the question is whether I can learn the rest of it for thursday. At the same time, I haven't done any work on the other pieces since my last lesson, and 2 hours is too much time to spend exclusively on Bach...

I also want to call the composer of the modern piece I'm playing at my recital - there are two different versions of her piece and I want to know if she is partial to either or if there are any considerations I should use in choosing which to play, or which parts of whichever I play.

Tonight at 7, there is a group of diabetics that get together for coffee/whatnot. I have avoided it for a couple years now, but I think I might go to try it out tonight.

Anyway, enough of this typing, it's taking up valuable productivity time!!

wallet shopping

I bought a new wallet today.
This is a big deal to me, I had grown quite attached to my previous one. Nevertheless, when my deputy sherriff badge finally ended its long standing partnership with my wallet, I know it was time to say adieu.
Even shopping for it was complicated, there are so many options in terms of sections, see through compartments, bill section separators and coin sections. Then theres the type of leather/finish and colour...I made the decision to no longer have a coin section in my wallet, it takes up too much of my ass room and thats usually the first part of the wallet to show wear and develop holes.
Now I have two options: I have a little coin pouch that I could use that also has room for keys, then I would have all my pocket contents in one location,but I'm not sure if that is effeminate....even for me.... The other option is to avoid change in general. I've given this a little thought and it would be a mix of giving more to charity, tipping that little bit more generously as well as keeping a piggy bank at home, I might actually save up a little money.
So, I ask your advice, should I be willing to be more effeminate, or should I say nay to loose change...?

The new wallet is pretty darned cool. Similar to my old wallet, it has a section for my student card and bus pass - but it's removable!! If I didn't need everything in my wallet, or if my bottom were feeling particulary sensitive, I could considerably downsize and just carry around the mini wallet... but I'm not sure how much I want to diversify quite yet, it could be dangerous.

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my tongue hurts

mmmmm jello shooters!!
last night kyle made about 160 jello shooters spanning all the colours of the rainbow and then an extra red colour. I had mentioned that last night, but I left out one aspect.
In order to get a jello shooter out of the little plastic cup, you need to either use your finger to go around the inside edge or else it sticks. The other method is to use your tongue. This was the method I chose and I was quite good at it. The problem was that I have a short tongue and I'm partially tongue tied. The distance between the tip of my tongue and the skin thing that connects the bottom of your tongue to the bootom of your mouth is smaller than the height of a shot glass. As a result, that connector thingy really hurts today. Oh well, a small price to pay for delicousness!

I still haven't taken theplastic protective cover off of my laptop,
I still haven't decided if or when this will happen.
Apparently they tried to deliver a package to me today, but I was not home, so it will be available to me after 1 pm tomorrow at the local post office. I think it is a new blood glucose meter.
I love new blood glucose meters - I have kept up-to-date on all the developments over the past 10 years. I think I have had almost every new one that has been available to diabetics in Canada. They make fun of me at the pharmacy. I also keep all of my old meters so that I can one day donate them to a museum for a display on the development of blood glucose testing since michael was in his mid teens.
This new one is what I have been waiting for for a long time. The biggest problem for me is their portability... it would be easier if I had a purse. You need to have the meter, the strips as well as the lancer (aka make-finger-bleed machine)in order to test your blood. Most of them have carying cases so you can keep them all together, but the case is too bulky to fit in a pocket. Therefore, I either have to carry a backpack with me or I just don't bring my tester... This is obnoxious for going to restaurants because who wants to take a backpack to anywhere nice,,, and it's important to know your blood sugar before eating... so I never win. It's better in the fall or the winter when I have a jacket with pockets. Otherwise my pants are heavily weighed down with the testing machine, the strips, the lancer, the insulin pen, the needle caps for the insulin, my keys, my wallet and my cellphone.
Eventually, I want them to make a cell phone that doubles as a meter, but I'm not holding my breath.
This new machine that is hopefully waiting for me at the post office has strip cartridges, so you don't have to carry them separately, and the lancer is either built into the side of the machine, or it attaches securely, so it is essentially a one piece contration. It's a theory...
Well, so much for not writing long posts....
Good Night Again.