busy, busy

Around this weekend, I have three performances. I played the first one earlier today, I'm playing a Haiti benefit concert on Sunday, and the main event is my recital on Monday.

It seems the theme of my performing life has been NEW.

The pieces are new to the world - newly composed and some of them are even premieres. It's interesting to think - since some of the pieces are being recorded by the composers, I am setting a precedent for how the piece should be played. Performers often like to consult recordings of pieces they're learning, and even if they listen to mine and say, 'I hate the way he played that phrase!', I find it exciting to be part of the process.

The pieces are also new to me, in some cases very new. The longest I've been working on any of the pieces has been less than two months - learning notes over Christmas break. The shortest was a piece I played today, for which I only got the part on Monday. A few of the pieces I'm playing will only have one or two rehearsals as an ensemble before presenting them in a few days. At first, I was worried about trying to pull it together so haphazardly, but things are turning out very well so far. I definitely like this new faster pace.

When I think back to myself as a pianist just a few years ago, I played only a few pieces that were written within my lifetime, the majority of pieces I played were over a century old. They were also often played; for every piece, there were multiple recordings that I could consult. I was also much slower to learn music. Pieces and recitals fit nicely into academic years, where it took 3-6 months to learn a piece well enough to perform it.

As I am here, in the midst of a performing weekend, I can confidently say that I love the new; I love all the challenges and rewards it brings.

So little time...

It's not overwhelming, and I still feel pretty in control, but I'm getting a wee bit uppity about some upcoming things.

On Friday, I am playing at a new music university conference at Simon Fraser University, representing UBC in a couple of pieces. I just got the score for one of the pieces the other day and I haven't taken it to the piano yet. It won't be hard to pull together for the performance, but I'm not exactly thrilled about a last-minute addition in what is already a busy week.

In terms of the 'Michael Park and Friends' concert, I feel pretty prepared for myself, but this week will feature 2 first rehearsals. Long story short, this week will simply be spent largely at the piano.

I need to spend some quality time with my 'Alzheimer Variations'. I wrote them and have played them once before in concert, so I haven't worked on them much recently. There are some difficulties that I need to work out, however, before I perform them this time around.

Of course, there is also school. Over last weekend, I became exceedingly stressed that I would have to add on a whole extra course, over an already full courseload. After all the huffing and puffing, nothing has changed; I just wasted a lot of time and breath...

While this is a fairly stressful time, I'm enjoying it. Keeping me going are the promising opportunities that are on the horizon.

Oh, I forgot to mention, over the last week and a half, I've had two sets of friends staying at my apartment. Fun times have ensued, but I would be lying if I said it didn't have an impact on how much time I've spent working. Nevertheless, it's definitely been worth it!

Is numbing good?

I'm getting better at dealing with poverty.

I hit a low point this summer when I moved across the country without really having enough money. I broke down and cried in front of my new roommate. I rarely cry, and I can't remember the last time it was so sincere and in front of someone.

It was because I realized I was powerless, pitiful; I didn't have the money to do things I needed to do. Not having money for things I want... sure it sucks, but hardly worth getting upset over. Foreseeing that I couldn't afford rent or food or drugs upon arriving - that got me.

Today, it was going to the pharmacy and having my debit card declined. But it was different, the embarrassment and helplessness weren't nearly as strong.

I took off the non-prescription items, but the prescriptions still cost more than I had. I walked home to check out finances online. I felt a tinge of worry and the same feelings from earlier this summer, but numbed. I'm glad that I'm not letting this interfere as much with my life, but I generally don't like being numbed.

It bothers me that some people can watch extreme violence in movies simply because they've seen it so much. The idea that you can be moved less after hearing a piece of music over and over prevents me from obsessing.

But for now, I'm all right with feeling less worry, less pain, less anxiety.

In other news, things are going pretty well. I'm getting lots read, written, and even playing lots!

A Day of Opportunities

I was awoken this morning by a phone call. Long story short, I now have 2 piano students back-to-back on Fridays. I've been wanting to teach piano for the last few years, but the opportunities didn't present themselves easily and I just couldn't have made it a priority - especially without having a decent piano where I live. I will be going to their house for weekly lessons, which is not ideal, but they live decently close.

I'm glad that this adds two wonderful things to my life: Structure and Finances!

The concert I will be playing on Feb. 1st is coming together, slow but sure. Also, there were some mentions today of other opportunities for the Composers' Collective, through which I could likely pursue my piano career. I feel good about myself as a pianist - quite a difference from how I was feeling fresh out of my undergrad.

So far this year, I've played two concerts, both of which had only one or two pieces. On the Feb 1st concert, I will be playing for about 40 minutes in five different pieces. It will be a definite step up: a greater challenge. There's lots of work to do yet, and 3 weeks in which to get it done!

A New Friend

Never satisfied to knit just the standards, scarves and mittens, I've taken on more interesting projects. Over the last few years, and especially since moving to Vancouver, I've been knitting stuffed toys. We have lots of room above the cupboards in our kitchen, so a jungle is growing there.

Lady Chach is the newest addition to the jungle.

One of my friends is expecting a second child. When they asked his daughter for name suggestions, she said 'Lady Chach". As they will not likely use that name for their child, I have taken it as the perfect name for this dandy little boy elephant!

The tale of Lady Chach, is longer than the tail of Lady Chach, which you can't actually see in the picture, but you get the point...

Lady Chach seemed destined for failure, almost from the outset. The pattern was poorly written and had mistakes throughout. I didn't have grey yarn, so I figured that pink would do. As the knitting went on, I ran out of the original pink, so I had to switch to a different shade of pink, then a fuzzy pinkish yarn, and blue for the foot pads. When it came time for the ears, a darker rose colour and purple were necessary. Before Lady Chach was suggested, he was destined to be called Patches.

Because of the constant problems with his creation, I cursed poor Lady Chach the whole time. Through his light coloured pink skin, you can see some of the darker coloured shopping bags with which he is stuffed.

Lady Chach is far from perfection, but I love him anyway!

He's just so damned adorable with his extremely dilated pupils and effeminate lashes!

For now, he's taken up residence on top of the stove fan/light, but things are always changing in the jungle. My roommate and I have plans in the not-so-short-term future to make a delightful stop motion film with the animals. Who knows what other creatures will be around by the time that happens.

For now, here is a listing of the current jungle inhabitants:

Lady Chach, the elephant

Penquin, the penguin

Pigette, the pig

a blue and yellow poison-dart tree frog

an owl

and Leo, the lion

Eventually, I'll get more pictures, but for now they need to get their sleep. And I just might follow their lead.

Golden Girls

I can't remember if it was my mom or my grandma that used to watch it, but I recall seeing the Golden Girls at various times. Now, I don't need to recall, because I can just watch it!

It started in Winnipeg; one of the channels was showing a seemingly non-stop Golden Girls marathon. One episode became two, two became three, and so forth.

Now, I'm working my way sequentially through the series. It will take a while, but it's good to know I have 4 great friends willing to help me through the coming months of procrastination!

As you may know, sometimes I don't get jokes and I need a diagram to explain....

Rose is amazing! Betty White's portrayal of dumb and naive is inspirational.

Every once in a while, I'm reminded:

I am addicted to Diet Coke.

It's not just the caffeine; for the first few days back, I've been having my Coffee Pu'ehr tea, which is great and delicious, but I've still been getting irritable and headachy.

I bought a bottle today and drinking it made me feel so good.

Addiction, yes. Problem, uncertain...

I don't see how this actually could be a problem. Some might say the cancer thing, but I've been drinking it since I was 8 - I figure the damage is already done.

Just in case you need something to moo or howl about, my last diet coke before today was before my flight on Saturday morning...

at 6:45 am!!!

Take that, 10am History and Theory classes!

Feeling 'Home'

Stepping out of the airport into -30 air

lungs freezing, burning, freezing

This is Winnipeg

sitting in the back of my parents' Impala which has driven me from one side of the city to the other

watching the cold bobble-headed pig slide across the dash

This is the Winnipeg I know

watching through the frosted window, familiar scenes with subtle shifts

arriving home, entering a house filled with memories

and doilies

sleeping on a daybed, steps away from the room where I spent so many years.

This is the Winnipeg I know, but it's different

visiting

seeing friends

meeting acquaintances

spending time with remnants of a past

This is the Winnipeg I knew, but it's different, distant

Stepping out of the airport into rain-scented air

arms and back aching with the weight of luggage

carrying an old life into a new city,

little by little

This is a city I barely know, but it's familiar, closer

sitting on a bus, like a direct road to home

bags feeling lighter as the key unlocks the door

here I am

This is the city I know.