I think I need to travel this summer. I keep putting off traveling for a variety of reasons, BUT I have a friend in Berlin and I would love to visit Germany. It's time I stop putting things off and just do it!

5 minutes ago, I finished marking my last exams!
I no longer have marking responsibilities with the University of Manitoba. I also have no more academic responsibilities! I am officially ish done with U of M! All that is left is for me to take the assignments in to the prof and submit my hours!

Last night, I unwittingly-ish did something that has been on my list of things to do in life for a while, but I'd never had the guts to actually do it.
I think it brings a certain portion of my life to a nice close, leaving me ready to move to a new city!

I went to the opera last night. I've tried over the last 4 years to really love and embrace opera... and I even made some developments in my respect for the genre. Last night, I actually followed the story line for the entire (breath)3 hours and 14 minutes. I paid close attention to the musical elements that Verdi used in the opera and I enjoyed the experience of unlocking the memories I had of Shakespeare's Othello that I had read in high school... probably 7 years ago now!
I enjoyed the general experience, but not the actual experience. I think it just comes down to the fact that opera is an expensive genre and Winnipeg just doesn't have the funds for it. I think I will be excited in the future to watch opera in some of the bigger artistic centers where they have the performers and funding to put on spectacularly elaborate productions.

In other news, I have a roommate in London. 2 fun loving musicians will be living together, both as grad students. As I expressed concerns about my ability to shift to a lower-spending lifestyle, she said she is going to help me adjust to the ghetto-life! So far, everything is looking good!

Fucking B plusses!

So far, I've gotten back marks for two classes this term.... Piano Pedagogy and my Recital - in both of which I received a B+. For a brief and shining moment my GPA was actually over 4.0 and now, GAH, it's back under at 3.97. ASSSHITSTUPIDBASTARD!
Piano pedagogy was supposed to be a bird course, a gpa booster.... but the prof was retarded and got it the other way around... She didn't manage to teach us anything, and on top of that, she marked so that we got low marks. I'm not bitching that she was a hard marker, but the marking set up made it impossible to do well. At the most, she marked in increments of 10% - problem being that when you need 95% to get an A+, if she gives you a 4/5 on one assignment you're out of the running. In talking to her, she had implied that I had done quite well on some assignments, but the marks were 80%.... and that's a B, not quite in line with her positive feedback.
Normally I don'd like the people who bitch about the difference between good marks and really good marks, but Fuck it! Here's hoping that my ensemble marks bring up my GPA... but that's the problem... ensembles are worth so little in comparison to actual courses.... so I would have to get A+s in every other course in order to be brought above 4.0 again.
As of this morning, I'm writing down everything I eat and inject in preparation for my Endo/Dietician/CDE appointments next week. I really should do this all the time, because it really makes me think more about how to best control things, but it is fairly work intensive... but that's just a lazy excuse. I need to get to the point where I can do all the thinking logically without having to write it down... but I guess the only difference is having a direct point of reference to previous sugars.. and my memory will never be good enough to hold that information, so I'll just stick with the book for now.
I haven't heard anything about work for the summer other than the music stuff I have lined up.. but that's not enough. I'm even thinking I might actually work some shitty job for a month or two... At the moment I have nothing music related until July. Working some little part time job might allow me the freedom to work on compositions while still having a bit of money coming in.

Marking exams makes me happy. Every time I mark something wrong or read something that doesn't make sense, it gets me thinking of how I could explain the concepts to a class so that they would understand and it would stick in their heads... I'm realizing that I will eventually really enjoy being a professor.
But for now, I'm enjoying being a student.
Trying to figure out a monthly budget for next year.. I looked up transit costs... and UWO has a wonderful mandatory transit programs which means little over 100$ for 8 months of bus! I highly approve.
I've officially accepted Western and declined Alberta! Decision is final!
I'm going to move there sometime in early to mid August.

Lately, I had a test of professionalism. I think I both passed and failed. I was playing a piece for a friend's composition jury. I played it for him to hear a few days ago and it was terrible - I had not spent enough time working on the piece, so it was very poorly played with wrong notes and a lack of confidence. I felt really bad about playing so badly, but not for my sake... I felt guilty for stressing him so close to his jury. Nevertheless, I spent much more time on the piece later that evening and then the next day. When I played it for him right before his jury, he was much happier. It's exciting to see how much progress I can make in a very short time period when I work at it. If only I could be that productive at all times....
In the end, I think we were both satisfied with the performance. It came across well at the jury, so that it good, but I'm not sure that I should be satisfied with my work ethic in general.
However, it has influenced me positively, I spent time practicing stuff for Chris's jury so that I can be even better prepared.

Other than that.. not much new.. Chris's Jury will be my last performance related to university of manitoba.. ever! I got a huge stack of final exams to mark... yay! I've sorta avoided them but that will need to get done a lot over the next little bit.
I got blood work done today for my Endocrinologist appointment next week. I'm anxious to see if my A1C has improved, I've been working harder to keep tighter control.. and this will tell me if it's been at all effective. I've made a list of things I have to ask about... like a referral to a new Endo in London Ont. that might be nice

Assumptions and expectations are weird things. I had always kept in the back of my mind as a backup plan, that if I didn't get accepted anywhere else, I would be stuck in Winnipeg at the same university and all that stuff. I never really acknowledged the possibility that I would be stuck in Winnipeg with nothing to do....
Today I got a letter from my home university saying that they didn't have room to accept me into the comp program, so I am on a waiting list. Also, back up a month ago or more to when I got the letter about the fellowship application - if I were to stay in Winnipeg, even if I did move past the waiting list and into the program, I would have no funding...
That's just some food for thought. Fortunately, that is not anything close to the situation that I am actually in. This morning, I officially accepted my offer of admission at the University of Western Ontario. The information from them that I need now is when school starts so I know when I will have to move out there.

In other news, last night my rambling rant was the funnest blog entry I've had in a long time! It reminded me of what got me into blogging in the first place. I hope to bring more of those moments into everyone's life from now on!

To start, today was the longest day of musical theater I've had so far - six hours from 11am to 5pm... and without a real break - from noon on, I barely left the piano.
I don't believe it necessary to mention how I feel about this. Unfortunately the two least prepared pieces were at the very end... so that was an unfortunate mood downer at the end of the day.

So it was suggested to me that in light of the upcoming provincial election, I should blog about politics. I'll admit I'm not very educated about the topic, so I'll fill some paragraphs with random rants that I can vaguely string to anything political.

First of all... at some point, some politician decided to make it necessary to put nutritional info on food - good for politics. I find this useful... but I think there should be more common sense... why do I have to look at a diet coke and see that it has NOTHING in it... do I care that it has zero percent of 20 different vitamins or no carbs and fat. They should just put a label on it that says "There is nothing nutritionally good nor bad about this product"
There's too much useless information in the world these days.
So they should put useful information on packaging - like a gassiness factor. You should be able to read the label and find out how gassy it will make you. This would be sooo useful... like when you're going for a job interview... if you know the can of beans has a 90% gas-factor, you might avoid it... at the same time if you are going camping with someone you don't like - a baked potato might not be the best choice, you need something with a solid 80% gas-factor, otherwise it's not worth your time.
I probably mentioned, but I wasn't gassy on the night of my recital... but I was worried. The extra stress in a performance situation could have easily been avoided by proper labeling.
I urge everyone to urge political candidates to advocate for the proper labeling of gas-factor in foods sold in Canadian grocery stores.

So, back to my dream of being a blackjack dealer. I think that it's stupid that the government and politicians have implemented "responsible gaming" into the casinos of Winnipeg. They should know that blackjack is more than a job - it's a passion. When someone decides to devote their life to blackjack.. dealing cards is not enough to satisfy the hunger - they need to be able to gamble while they're not being paid... but the Gouvernement du Manitoba says that you can't.
Speaking of french? are we a bilingual nation or not?!? as a Canadian, we're supposed to be, but as a Manitoban, we don't have to be... Quoi le fuck monsieur politique?!?
WHat a namby-pamby way of trying to appease people - In theory we're bilingual, but not in practice.... then what's the point... language dies in theory: that's why Latin is dead, we have the theory of the written language, but no people to speak it. No wonder Canada is so unilingual - all the Latinos are dead!

Now that I'm getting riled up, why even bother with political parties. With all the floor-crossings and whatnot these days, how can I trust that the person I vote for is going to stand by the principles which they originally presented to me through which I made my decision in voting? But more importantly, why should I vote based on the principles chosen by a political party? Theres like a billion people in Canada.. and even with all the the joke parties out there(like the rhinos and the NDP{hahahahahahaha, jk fi and other NDPers}) there can't be a reasonable assortment of views that can reflect the true diversity that truly is out great nation of Canada.
I yearn for the world where representative government actually is what it calls itself. I yearn for a can of beans that tells me I'm going fart in the middle of a piano recital. I yearn to deal blackjack for hours and then reap the satisfying reward of paying back my entire paycheck to the other casino of Winnipeg. So tell me Mr Politics, which candidate will grant me these desires?!?

So tired

I should have slept more last night.... this morning was really not pleasant. I think that I had more carbs today from coffee than I did from actual food..... ok that's an exaggeration, but Vanilla Lattes are not low on the carbs!
Good news, my friend Fiona is officially running for office in the upcoming provincial election! But since she's so in the public eye... it's going to be difficult to get around without the paparazzi following her every move... I just hope they don't scrutinize her too badly for the terrible choice in movies we made tonight:
Norbit - BAD.... although it had a moral... but ya, just terrible. Eddie Murphy plays the title character as well as a morbidly obese woman, an old asian man and probably some other characters that I'm not remembering. Anyway, the plot was weak and the laughs depended on shock humour and stereotypes which were neither shocking enough to be justified, nor funny enough to make it excusable. Mostly, I laughed because I enjoy being loud in public.
Anyway, it's not even half passed midnight and I am bloody tired. I am going to bed. Tomorrow is a long day of musical theatre. LOOOOONG day of musical theatre. Too Long.

It's late and I work very early tomorrow, so I should go straight to bed, but I won't.
My piano student performed an amazing recital tonight.... ok she sang instead of playing piano... so I don't get any of the credit... but it sounded good to say... Anyway Jenn, you did an amazing job tonight!
Afterwards I went to a party... I haven't partied much this year... and not even to say that I let loose tonight.. cause I was driving and barely had one drink over the course of the evening, but I did have a good time. People started to play poker, but that didn't hold interest... then I started dealing blackjack... I think I have found my true calling.... if not playing it and winning millions... then dealing it!
It was super fun... and I was totally feeding off of the crazy wonderful energy of my crazy wonderful friend Amy who can get quite competitive -in a great way. Definately this summer soon... or maybe as a going away party for myself, I want to get some people together and head out to the casino for some blackjack fun! It won't be as fun as tonight or in Vegas with the pool of free liquor... but it will be a good time.
I've been realizing the last few days that I'm now seeing some people for the last time before I move away.
I said a preemptive goodbye to the music librarian today. There have been two of them since I started.... always helping me - I'm fairly clueless when trying to use books and information... One of them left about a month ago and I don't have any real reason to go back to the library now that I'm done.
Tomorrow is a normal day at the ballet... exams are done, so there will be new music and new exercises for the kiddies. It's an exciting time of the year for the dance world. Classes that are working towards exams just repeat the necessary exercises over and over so they are clear and concrete for the students... but now they can work on new stuff! A lot of the time, they start early on the technique that will come up in the next level.. in simpler forms - so it's a time of forward motion. It's kind of like the beginning of a new year BUT it has all the momentum of the current year. It also means I get to do a lot more improvising! I think though I will use more sheet music the rest of this year so that I get better at sightreading.

Finissimo!

It's over!
This morning was my jury - my last piano exam ever!
It went well enough. I could tell the jury was not so impressed that I needed to use time to get set up... they cut us off two thirds of the way through the Montague piece.
I think my other piece went well also, I felt more in control of it than I have been other times, but it's hard to say what the jury will think.
But I'm certain that I passed.

Nevertheless, it's no time to relax.. I have more music to learn - and quickly at that! I also need to start on some compositions - I think I'll start with a little art song as a start to my summer.

I think the first step I'm gonna take right now is refiling all of the music I played or looked through this year back into my library! It is currently residing on my floor or around my piano. A little organization can go a long way!

As I think I'd mentioned earlier, I've been accepted to 2 universities that I was choosing between. The first one had let me know what they'd give me for finances. I've been waiting for the other university to get their act together and let me know.
I had narrowed the choice down to: if the the second school offered me more than the first, I'd go there, otherwise I'd go to the first one.
Finally, today I heard from the second school, and they offered me less money, SO
I have decided to go to University of Western Ontario.

I still have to make the final decision final by informing both schools of my decision.

Anyway, now I know what my funding situation is. Looking at the rough figures... after tuition, I am a little bit shy of a monthly rent for the year. That doesn't include food and other expenditures. At least I know where I stand. There is a possibility that I might get a TA position... if I do, then that would give me enough money squeak by somewhat comfortably.
Presently, the plan is to work enough this summer to be able to pay the bills next year and still get a fair chunk of composing done!
I applied for a StatsCan job, if I get that, great! If not.. who knows! For now, we'll just hope that everything works out just fine!

Tomorrow morning is my last piano exam ever! I am so excited and feel good to have this portion of my life out of the way!

So exciting!

as of tomorrow at 10:20, I will have fulfilled all of the requirements of my degree!
zipeeee!

Tonight I am going to practice my ass off because it will be the last time I will have to lock myself in a practice room for my own benefit.
I still am accompanying for a friends Jury, playing a piece for another friend's composition jury as well as marking 20th century history papers. BUT those things are not related to my graduating and the practicing I will be doing will be for them, as a professional.. with none of my own interests in the way!

I finally got the date finalized for the ensemble that will be recording my conceptual piece - Auskultu Bonvolu. I'm very excited to hear it played and have a recording of it. The ensemble is filled with great players, so I'm really happy and looking forward to it.

I got my recital comments today.
B+
A pretty ok mark, but this will bring down my GPA -boo!
When people asked me about it, I may have harped on the mark aspect, but that's not the big deal. I was genuinely bummed out by my comments. I got some really good strong compliments, and generally the comments were positive. So why was I upset?

I entered Music School as a young talented pianist who lacked the technical strength and preparedness to achieve his full potential. I did my ARCT before school and the examiner barely passed me and told me that she hoped I would address my technical weaknesses in the University environment.
Now here I am, year later at the end of my piano studies and the comments I get from my recital panel are quite similar.
I'll paraphrase a bit - 'when you are engaged your playing is exciting, individual, knowing.... when you lose your way, I lose the sense of you on stage, it feels like someone fumbling for notes...'

I remember entering into my undergrad, being like so many pianists - actually thinking that there was a chance I could be a real performer, with thoughts of grad studies in piano....
I came to the realization at some point that it was neither possible, nor what I wanted. However, I didn't give up... I decided that I would continue with the performance degree because I wanted to be the best pianist I could be at the end of my undergrad, so that I could use those tools I gained for my future, whatever it might have been.
I set for myself what I thought was a reasonable and reachable goal. All I needed to do was to prepare my last recital well enough so that I could completely engage the audience without those all too common moments of fumbling.

The moral of the story is that it is very unsatisfying to feel that you have not accomplished a goal that you have set for yourself.


Anyway, on a positive note, they all really liked and respected my dance improvisation piece. Some really good comments, very different from each other - the jury had different perspectives.

Nothing could make me happier

I just got a huge roll of bubblewrap! Nicely sized bubbles that have enough air to have a strong sound to them, but not too bulky. Also, it seems to be neverending...I really went at it hardcore for a while and there are still plenty more for poppin'!
Alas, I need to get to bed STAT. Tomorrow I mark intro Theory exams for the last time at U of M! I have a feeling that I'm going to be sleepy. yuck. nevertheless, bubbles in the morning will make everything better....
OMG maybe I could line the inside of my bag with bubbles so that I can sneak a pop throughout the day.
Tonight I also finished a cell phone case which is pretty slick. Complete with a drawstring!

Dance related post

Ballet Exams today.
Two of the classes I accompany on Saturdays had their ballet exams today. The younger ones were all about 10 years old and doing their Grade 1 exams. So cute. They were mildly retarded, but in a nice way. They had their little minds so focussed on what they were expecting to do, that they didn't really understand what the examiner was asking. I had to try not to laugh at how silly they looked when he would ask them to stand a certain way and they would just look like a deer in headlights. Anyway, they were funny but they all did really well I'm certain.
The examiner was very efficient and got the exams done well ahead of schedule.... so different from music exams and similar things...

On my lunch break, I ran into an old friend from high school. She's been a touring musician for quite a while now and she's doing really well both in life and with her career. I feel so privileged when I think of the people I spent time with in high school and what people have done with themselves there since; whether it be music, politics, kickboxing, academics, or whatever else my friends have gotten themselves into.

My eye has been twitching lately, and my jaw cracking and excessively tense, and of course shoulder tension... but I've been not playing piano much at all. I don't understand- I need to relax apparently... grr.

Back to the dance related things:
I think I'm going to actually take dance classes this summer. For the whole month of July, I can take 5 nights a week of dance classes for staff discount. I will take Ballet, Modern, Jazz and Body Conditioning. I just hope there is a way to fit everything else I hopefully will have on my schedule into that... Maybe I'll just find a day job so I can have evenings open for dancing...

I'm sitting at my favorite cafe having my lunch break. They usually play pretty good music, and the volume is always just right, so it's present but not intrusive. I remember one time the CD player had been skipping for about 5 minutes before anyone really noticed, but by that time I was going insane from it...
Anyway, today there was nothing for a solid 5-7 minutes. It was spectacular. The cafe was filled with sounds of the bus going by outside, a teaspoon stirring cream in coffee, a knife on a cutting board as the server made a sandwich, the screams of the espresso machine - those things which I call true silence.
I love silence, but not emptiness of sound. I think the reason people want music to be playing the background is that they crave/rely on the regularity of rhythm in music. For me, I love the irregularity of natural (as natural as things can be in the modern world) sounds. I am excited by not knowing when sounds are going to happen, I think it makes me more aware and involved with how time passes for me.
Anyway, I won't get too deep, but I love silence!

Baking with Momma

As I've probably mentioned on here before, I wrote a choral piece earlier this year using a recipe for chocolate chip cookies as the text, along with my own stellar poetry and one-liners.
The piece was recently performed and it was very well received, and I really enjoyed both performing it, and how it turned out!
I want all of you to listen to it, because I think it's a lot of fun. The last piece I posted for listening was the Alsheimer's Variations-of which this piece is the complete opposite.
It uses a narrator and 8 part choir to relive the process of baking cookies from the child's eye view. I've used a lot of contemporary techniques, but I think it's not too out there, as it remains quite accesible to the audience. At the same time, it was difficult, and I'm grateful to the University of Manitoba's Cantata Singers for putting work into it and giving it such a wonderful performance.

Baking with Momma

Ooooh, excitement!
Today I have my piano pedagogy exam - which completely brings my undergrad academic career to a close!
I am also accompanying a singer for her jury examination. Then I have a rehearsal for a choir I'm singing in.
There's also a piano recital I might go to tonight... I can't decide if I want to be spiteful and not go on account of him not coming to mine....
It will come down to how I feel later this afternoon, whether or not I want to sit around and wait a few hours at school and then have to bus home later...

Last day of undergraduate classes today. That means my last classes at U of M EVER!!!!!!!!
Most of the day I've been giddy.
I walked up the stairs to see a group of people huddled on a couch, and they called me over to join. It was all the fourth year singers that I've been friends with over the last 4 years crowding together to commemorate our last year all together as a group.
It reminded me of what wonderful friends I have had at school during this degree.
As the group dissembled to run off to class or rehearsal, I stood looking around realizing that at that precise moment, this portion of my life has closed and I'm in the transition period leading to the next part of my life.

I started the day with my last comp lesson with this year's teacher at 9:30 in the morning. It was wonderful, I didn't actually have any works to show him, but we talked about some things to think about for the future. His advice was that I should continue with my conceptual compositions. He's excited and interested to see where I will go with them. I mentioned that I don't want to get carried away with that and thus miss some key aspects of the compositional craft- to which he responded that having such a concern at this point means that I will find a way to always pursue the highest degree of my craft. In short, he inspired me.
We also discussed the film project I'm going to work on this summer. I don't have much/any experience with electroacoustic sound production and the film director would prefer less traditional sounds than the piano. My teacher suggested that I mimic the historical beginnings of electroacoustic music: Record piano and then play the attack backwards or get rid of the attack altogether, then you have the colour, but often people don't even associate the sound with piano. Basically he gave me license to do something that I would have thought of as too simple or not adventurous enough. This approach will be fun and manageable.

My last piano lesson today ended on a pretty good note. I played my little 2 minute piece and we talked about the areas to fix up, but that was it. He asked if I wanted another lesson before the jury and I said no, so that's that! I did ask his opinion on which grad school to choose, but he didn't know much of either Edmonton or London. Nevertheless, he helped guide me through some of the logic of it. Most people have mentioned that London is close to Toronto with the thoughts that I could see concerts and stuff, but he somehow worded it differently and related it to the dance community. That was one of my concerns, I'm loving improv with dancers so much lately that I would hate to give it up altogether and neither city has a major dance community. However, if I was only an hour away from Toronto, it's reasonable that I could develop some relationships with collaborators.

Therefore I have two new important considerations in my choosing of a grad program:
-style of teacher: someone who will allow me to continue and develop my conceptual compositions.
-The fact that Western is reasonably close to a major dance/music/cultural center.

Phew, that's a lot of considerations and blogging for now.

Today was the performance of my cookie piece. It was very satisfying, on several levels.
As a performer, I had a lot of fun singing it and being inside the choir. There were so many looks between people struggling to not burst out laughing on stage. The audience reaction was great to build the energy of the choir.
As the composer of the piece, those same aspects that made the performing fun were enjoyable in other ways. Seeing smiles and laughs in the choir showed me that my music was not a bore nor exceedingly difficult for the choir to perform. Hearing laughter and genuine reactions from the audience showed me that the idea and the text of the piece was heard and understood in the audience.
In conclusion, having a performance be this well received by both the performers and the audience: I could hope for no more!

A reminder to all that might be around the Faculty of Music tomorrow around one pm....

1 pm
Eva Clare Hall
Faculty of Music

Cantata Singers present new choral works by:
Michael Park and Heidi Ugrin

(Chocolate Chip Cookie reception to follow!)



I'm excited to have a recording of the piece. Not having written it until the beginning of second term, I didn't think I would be able to get it recorded while at U of M, but alas my dream has come true. It will be a delightful way to end my experience with ensembles at the University of Manitoba!

Im totally not surprised, but still perturbed.
I write a piece about chocolate chips, and practically dedicate it to my mother, and I ask her to simply bake chocolate chip cookies according to the recipe in my song.... and she refuses to follow the recipe!!!!
Lordy Lordy Lordy!
I DO appreciate my mother, but geez, sometimes I realize where I learned to be so stubborn and well... my mother and I share many of our... um better qualities.

Piano tuning tomorrow = reason to clean off piano = hours of organizing, sorting through what to throw out and what to keep and then filing whatever I'm keeping away someplace else.
I'm not an absently organized person - meaning that I don't naturally keep things very organized,BUT when I put my mind to it, I'm extremely organized. So when I'm putting things away now, it's frustrating to see how unorganized everything else is.... but I still know where everything is when I need it. I think over the next few days, I'm going to be doing my spring cleaning/ end of school year organization.
Luckily I'm organized with school stuff generally, so I know I still have my notes from years one and two - I'll need them to relearn my stuff for entrance exams! I certainly don't want to and can't really afford to be stuck in undergraduate theory or history courses. I'm already going to have to take some remedial level electroaccoustic music courses.

Before dinner tonight, I finished marking. I had three assignments to mark this weekend, taking up a good 10+ hours of my long weekend. All went well, though a little frustrating at times.
Of course, it's just now as I'm getting the hang of marking, the year is almost over and there's only one more assignment and one exam to deal with.
Things are really wrapping up nicely. Tonight I am going to practice piano for a bit. But not too long because I don't really have to!

I went drinking last night, for the first time in a long while.... well since Vegas. I did marking after work but before meeting family for dinner. I marked at Moxies and ordered a vodka paralizer, which I got Moxie sized since it was a reasonable price. Then when we went for dinner, we ordered cocktails and then when the wine came, I knew what I was in for.... fun!
I think my sister and her husband and I were planning on going to a few clubs, but we ended up meeting with some other friends, and when they finally got there, we stayed so they could get drinks.... long story short, we were there for the evening. All in all it was a pretty awesome evening, not going overboard, but having enough to have fun!

As you may remember, my recital was the last for a week long stint of piano recitals. As I'm thinking ahead to the recitals coming up, I think about how the pianists should support each other:
It disappoints me to remember that none of the other pianists doing recitals this year came to my recital. I'm not being super self riteous and claiming that all the pianists should have come to my recital, but there was so little support this year from the pianists. The only one I missed was the one the night before my own, and I managed to listen through the door for the last piece. I think that shows the kind of support that the student body needs, and I don't think that was shown by all.
I think I'm just disappointed because I expected it to be a big bonding experience amongst the pianists because there were so many of us doing recitals this year. Anyway, I have all the recital credits I need for the year so I can afford to be picky.
I do plan on attending quite a few more recitals, most importantly those of my friends who have been supportive over the last few years and this year too.

I'm thinking of listening to my recital today..... I really have no recollection of how things went in specific areas, so I know I'm not going to be listening for certain things to go wrong... I think I have a blank enough palate to listen to it.
I'm not sure about how to or even whether or not to listen to the improv.... I really should have gotten it video recorded, cause that would be amazingly helpful, but oh well.
More importantly, I have to mark another theory assignment today... at least 3 hours more, then I have to get them to the university, which might be closed today, that would be problematic.... So ya, if I have enough time I'll listen to my recital and I have to practice tonight... apparently my jury piece is supposed to be memorized by wednesday.

I had posted a bitching post last night, complaining about diabetes and mumbly mumbly. In the end, I deleted the post because I didn't want people to worry, and I was uncomfortable with the amount of detailed information I posted about my diabetes management.
It's funny that at one point in my life my parents took care of everything in my diabetes management, and now they haven't the foggiest idea of how much insulin I take or any of such details.
Then again, I guess it's like anything. At some point in all of our lives, someone else wiped our ass for us, and I'll venture to say that most of us do that on our own now.
Anyway, when my sugars are high, I'm bitchy and snappy and irritable. That's why I was like that last night.

I ended up staying home and playing cards with my family. Apparently my sister had forgotten how insane the Park family is.

I was gonna say that today marked the last full week of school,. but tomorrow is a day off, so I guess I missed that boat last week.
Today was my last undergraduate academic(or not so much) class. I should say last class as an undergrad... I may well have to play catchup with undergrad electromusic courses.
Also, my last 9am piano lesson. I tried to explain to my teacher that after my degree I shan't touch repertoire for a while, and asked him for advice on how to work on just technique. Instead, he pooh poohed the concept and reminded me that it is HOW I practice (and not WHAT I practice) that prevents me from being at the level that I should be at. In conclusion, I am very well ready to not take another piano lesson for a long long time.
Anyway, only one more lesson and one more jury before I am officially no longer a piano student.
I almost feel bad about being this excited about ending my career as a piano student, but I don't.

I talked to a different teacher, a piano goddess as the school today about her thoughts on my dance/improv section. If I weren't so bitter, she would have convinced me to stick with piano..... She commented that the parts of it where we were completely open in our communication were exhilerating and she wanted the whole time to be like it. More importantly, she made it clear that I am capable of reaching that level of performance communication and I should. She did constructively criticize that there were points at which it seemed like I was merely accompanying the dancer; which was in line with why I felt that I didn't perform my best with that dance element. Nevertheless, she was entirely supportive and made me excited about my future as a musician, and at some point as a pianist. She actually told me that she was proud of me for doing this - and I couldn't even come close to telling her how much that meant to me to hear.
Certainly not here, but sometime soon, I need to just vent to someone, or a teddy bear about some things concerning myself as a pianist. I've found that I've been biting my tongue far too much when I try and talk about anything related to it. As a result, I've painted quite a few incomplete pictures of my current state of emotional/pianistic wellbeing.

Nevertheless, I am filled with excitement about the things to come and the changes around the corner.

I'm sitting at my computer tonight writing up two assignments for piano pedagogy. And while they are just two more assignments, they mean much more than that.
Well, not the actual assignments, I don't really care much about them and I'm not putting a lot of effort into them, BUT they mean something solely because of their placement within my degree.
These are the last 2 papers/assignments that I have to do as an undergraduate student, and with them will come the closing of a chapter of my life.
This is such an exciting time for me, and as a result, I'm quite excited!

Also, I went to a potluck tonight, it totally turned out to be a high school reunion... but it was good to see some people I hadn't seen in a long while... like the girl I went to my grad with... now she has 2 daughters who were adorable. Anyway, good food, good people, good times!

I presented today in Composition Seminar. It was the beginning of the student presentations.
For the last few weeks, students in the seminar have been presenting the works of other established composers.
Today, I presented my own music. I presented my Alzheimer's Variations. It's quite the experience to present something that you had worked on. The piece has been a part of my life for quite a while now, even though it only reached it's finished form in Sept or October. I did a lot of thinking about it and even talking about it during it's conceptual stage - from the concept of musically representing a patient's decline through the stages of Alzheimer's Disease.
Then the piece took on a new life when I started writing the actual notes and putting them on the page. Once I finally got the notes on the page, it starting yet another new life, in the hands of my pianist. I guess that's the point at which it actually came to life. Then it was finally performed, after which it took on a different role, by the effect it had on listeners.
Since it's performance, I've had a very passive-reflective relationship with the piece. The compositional process had sort of come full circle. But today, and over the last few days, it's been an active-reflective process. I've had to relive and reevaluate the compositional process as well as the end result.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm rambling, I kinda thought if I wrote about it, something important to say would arise, but not really..... I suppose the moral of this story is that I just looked at the piece differently, in a new light and fresh perspective, and I hope I have the chance to do that with all of my pieces.

This was a pretty productive weekend.
I did a wee bit of practicing. I did a heck of a lot of marking.. well not too much, but more than I have been lately.
My friend Fork and I marked together, which is a balance of fun and productive.
I played for musical theater today, a whopping 5 hours of fun. It was pretty good. The things I do within the realm of musical theater are pretty varied:
-Accompanying at the piano
-Vocal coaching, including some Spanish language diction
-Theatrical coaching
-and a wee bit of Choreography
The teacher I work with for Mus Th is really good, and she loves everything I say and do, but it's hard to draw the line, and I never know... one of these days someone might be of the persuasion that pianists shouldn't be choreographers..... My main choreographic suggestion is the addition of "jazz hands" to just about everything Hahahah.
I've actually been quite a bit more vocal in dance classes lately. It's definitely not the normal role of the pianist - actually most pianists never talk during a dance class. But none of the teachers have made any untoward comments regarding my suggestions and corrections. I've actually gotten comments that my ballet teacher and I function almost like a teaching team, rather than a separate teacher and accompanist. There's a lot that I have learned from working so closely with my Saturday ballet teacher and I know theres still so much more.
I told the principal of the dance school today that I am not coming back next year because I'm going away for grad school. She congratulated me and told me that it was bittersweet and that I would be missed.

I'm in a very good mood lately. I think it's the combination of recital being over, getting to choose from grad programs, not being in debt after my undergrad schooling, and a general sense of forward motion!
Anyway, now I am off to hand in theory assignments and find some new fun to get into!

hmm, I could have sworn that I had blogged more recently than my website would show... but I guess maybe I forgot to actually post something, and just closed the window... that's a definite possibility.
Tonight, I'm hanging out with my German friend, but I need to get more marking done, but I had also wanted to go to a dance jam.... I think I'll have to forgo the jam tonight so that I can finish marking and then go out...
Today is 5 hours of musical theatre.... I hope I survive!