Magic!

What is it about magic that is so captivating?

I went to a big, shiny, dazzling spectacle of a magic show today. Two hours of pretty much every kind of trick you can imagine - Vegas style, with backup dancers and a moderately-modestly scantily-clad assistant.

It's not that I'm skeptical, but I spent most of the time trying to see the trick, trying to figure out how it's done. Mostly, I wouldn't want to be a naive observer.

At the same time, I don't want to know:

I remember when a bunch of my friends were into magic tricks as kids. I learned a few, but I was never able to get satisfaction from pulling the wool over other people's eyes. Once I understand the trick, it's ruined for me. Call me selfish, but I want to remain ignorant so I have claim to that sense of wonder.

After the magic show, I went for some food with a group of people I went to music school with. It was a delightful time and I loved hanging out with some of my most devoted readers.

A magical shout-out to Chief No-Balls, The Illustrious D, and a delightful Pet Wolf/Cow!

I believe I'll be spending new year's with the same group of people, so I'll leave that for another day.

Who knows if I'll have a chance to post again tomorrow, so 2009, I bid you adieu!

Here we go 2010!

Flavour Tripping

Have you ever heard of Miracle Berries?

They are pretty nifty!

Miracle berries make anything that would normally be sour, taste sweet. I ate slices of lemon, lime, grapefruit, oranges, and blackberries. They were incredibly sweet and delicious. I also had a sizable sprinkle of salt, which was an interesting experience; it made me salivate like you do when you have something salty, but it didn't taste overly salty.

It also took the bite off of some normally unpleasant liquids!

I hate vinegar. I hate vinegar a lot! I smelled the vinegar in the little shot glass and it smelled horrible, as usual, but then I sipped it and it was not disgusting at all. I won't say it was delicious, but it was completely different. I also drank scotch and rye - they had no bite whatsoever. This could be very dangerous... but I stayed moderate.

In conclusion, the effect was pretty super. At the same time, it reminded me that I'm not such a big fan of sweetness. Sure, I like 'sweets' as much as the next guy, but this was more of that puckery, sickly sweet sensation - a little too much for my tastes. Nevertheless, I do recommend giving it a whirl.

Happy tripping, my flavourful friends!

Already finished with Christmas!

My parents just left to drive my sister and brother-in-law to the airport in Grand Forks. I am staying at home with the puppy dog.

I love my puppy niece. We're sitting together on the couch, having quiet time. She has separation anxiety, so having 4 of the 5 people in the house leaving at the same time was rather upsetting. I took her for a walk while they were leaving - it made thing quite a bit earlier. Nevertheless, she's a little mopey because she can tell that her parents have left.

Anyway, back to this post's title. Because H and G are gone for the holidays, we did Christmas dinner yesterday and presents this morning. My parents and I will still go to my grandpa's for Christmas eve, but it's nice to be done with the holidays.

Rather, it extends them - extra joyousness for everyone!

A Christmas like the olden days.

I did all of my Christmas shopping today. It went by quickly because I had a very limited budget - 20$ per person for my mom, dad, and sister-and-brother-in-law.

This is the lowest Christmas budget I've had since maybe early high school or I don't know when...

When I was in high school, my sister and I were both working part-time jobs where other than 'savings', 100% of that income was expendible. I expended a lot closer to that 100% than my sister, but that's a different story altogether. Since that point, the amount we've spent on gifts for each other as a family has gone up and up. The last few years, while living in Ontario, I shouldn't have spent as much as I did, but I did anyway. Even though everyone knew my student-esque financial situation, I felt I needed to give generously anyway...

This year, I chose my budget only because that is all the money I COULD spend. Now I have literally JUST enough to pay tuition in January, not bounce a cheque that should be cashed in the next few days, and make a minimum payment on my credit card.

Now, I'm doing something that I've been thinking about for a while, but haven't had the courage to actually do - I'm taking my debit and credit card out of my wallet and leaving them at home.

It's two weeks until my payday, for which the money is already spoken. I might get some pity money from my parents, or something in christmas cards, but I'm not counting on anything.

This is going to be the christmas of no spending.

Term is almost over...

I fly to Winnipeg on Tuesday.

I have a paper due on Tuesday.

I hope that the paper doesn't take until the very last minute because I'll need to pack, but we'll see.

I'm looking forward to friends and family, just not the cold. I think I'm becoming a wimp with weather. That Winnipeg-bred boy is disappearing. Oh well, I love an excuse to wear hand-knit items... er... winter ones...

It's really hard to believe the term went by so quickly.

Anyway, I'll post from Winnipeg in a few days.

For now, I need to work hard!

Lifesavers, my lifesavers.

The Illustrious D brought up a good point when he asked about the diabetes sponsorship placement program. I suppose it's not a real program, per se, but one of the biggest happenstance sponsors of diabetes is...

Lifesavers Candy!

These have been a part of my life since I was diagnosed. I'm sure I had them before, but in my mind they are tied very strongly to my condition.

They are what they are: Pure Sugar!

I know there are other products that are aimed specifically at treating low bloodsugars in diabetics, but I think these maintain a high rank amongst diabetics.

My standard for treating a low is orange juice, but lifesavers are perfect for when juice is not handy. Juiceboxes are handy ish, but lifesavers won't burst open and make everything sticky in your backpack if you sit on it... (Thanks grade 3!)

Growing up, mom always had a pack in her purse. Now, there's a pack in my jacket pocket or bag at all times.

No, this isn't one of those cheesey MasterCard commercials from a few years back. Just a boy proclaiming his love for those sweet little circles!

I made it up and down the mountain and home again safely! The picture above was taken at the summing of Mount Gardner, on the helicopter pad.

I should have posted earlier when I was super positive about it. I'm still mostly super positive about it, but I'm getting exponentially sorer as the evening progresses. I think I'm going to down some advil and have an early night.

I had been worried about my sugars last night, but I woke up at 8.9 - a healthy enough number. I corrected and eventually had a timmy ho's breakfast sandwich to start the day off with protein. By the time we started the hike, they were down a bit and not long into the hike they were establishing that downward pattern so I started munching on the lifesavers.

Just under an hour in, I started eating a granola bar. My mouth was getting dry, I felt my sugars moving down and I was weak - I stopped and passionately told my friends that I was having serious doubts that I would be making it to the top of the mountain. I could not ask for better hiking friends. They reassured me and told me we could take as many breaks as I needed. I stopped, drank water, ate lifesavers and felt better. After a few minutes, I was happy with my sugars and we continued. A mixture of dehydration and lowering sugars does not make for a functional hiker.

Long story short, I pulled through and made it to the top, frolicked a bit, shivered because of exposed winds and impressed myself and friends at how well I did.

Diabetes: We hiked for almost 4 and a half hours. During this time, I took NO insulin and I ingested 2 packs of lifesavers, half a granola bar, and 1.5 sandwiches; about 115 carbs. My sugars never went above 6.7 or below 3.9. This, was even with the considerable decrease in Lantus, my background insulin.

Diabetes management is so much easier when you are constantly exercising vigorously. I am reminded of the summer when I worked in a factory - I barely needed any insulin aside from the background insulin.

Yet, another reason I should exercise more...

Anyway, I'm sore now, but it was well worth it. I look forward to more hiking in the new year.

I'll be comin' round the mountain...

It's quarter after 11 and I'm getting ready for bed. This is unprecedented!

Tomorrow, I am meeting a small group at 7am to go hiking up Mount Gardner. I don't know much about what these numbers mean, but it's about 600M up and the length of the trail is 17 kilometers-ish. We're going to do it at a leisurely pace, 6 hours roundtrip.

Living so close to these magnificent chunks of rock, it's something I need to do. Why wouldn't you?!?

As someone who is out-of-shape, I'm a little worried. Nevertheless, I'm treating this as an opportunity. Either I'll be surprised at myself tomorrow and gain self-confidence, or it'll be the kick in the ass I need to get myself to be more active!

As a diabetic, there's lots to think about.

Any kind of extended exercise wreaks havoc on sugars. I remember one day, walking around downtown Vancouver for a few hours - I turned my insulin pump off and my sugars were still plummeting.

I'm packing lots of sugar: sandwiches, trail mix, granola bars, life savers, glucogel and I'll buy a thing of juice sometime tomorrow morning.

Also, I'm cutting my basal insulin by a chunk - down from 36 Lantus to 28. It will effect me for the whole day, but I think that's a compromise I'm going to have to make for safety's sake.

I hate that I have to think so much about something that should be so freeing, but a little bit of pre-planning can make all the difference.

I can't wait to get back tomorrow and have lots of stories to tell and pictures to show!

Technology illuminates creepers...

With all of my attempts at updating my website, I added Google Analytics to my website and blog so I can see if I'm actually getting any traffic.

Surprisingly, it tells me that I have some silent readers - those of you who never comment...

Don't worry, I don't know any specifics - just numbers and countries.

Long story short, I'm glad to know that people are reading.

I am motivated to make this blog even better for all my faithful readers! I've learned from previous experiences that you won't make suggestions about what I should write about, so I'll try new and exciting directions!

Starting next time...

Closing down a month

Well, there's only twenty more minutes in November.

Aside from blogging 30 times this month, almost even on the proper days, I don't really feel like I accomplish much in November. School flew by because I didn't really have any assignments. Now I have a presentation and a paper left, and that's all I have to do before I leave for Winnipeg.

I feel like I should have something profound to say, but I don't.

Just that I'm looking forward to the end of term, the start of new projects, and the new year.

Sunday's Post - NaBloPoMo's Penultimate

Once again, I don't seem to have a schedule that allows for regular, daily blogging. Nevertheless, I kept up and there's a post for every day of the month!

This was not the most productive weekend, but it was enjoyable. I did some practicing for the concert, which I'll post about in the next entry, and a little bit of work on my presentation, but not enough of anything. I was somewhat social, but I was also fairly hermitty.

I met with my poet again, and this time it was more social. I really enjoy conversing with him. We have a shared sense of artistic ideology which I haven't felt like I had in common with anyone since I was involved with the dance improv scene in Winnipeg. Long story short, it's a good feeling and I'm glad to have like-minded artists around!

I've emailed a few people, and it seems like there won't be a festivus this year, at least not with the group that I usually celebrate with. This seems like the year that many high-school friends are just not coming back to Winnipeg. I can't blame people, but it will be a different Christmas this year. My sister and brother-in-law are going to Thailand for the holidays, so it's just going to be me and my parents. At least I'll get more work done....

I spent far too much time yesterday updating my website.

Really, I only changed one thing - updated from mp3 samples to full streaming audio.

Check it out: www.michaelpark.ca

I'd previously used myspace as my audio hosting, but now I can have it all available on my website - I feel much more professional.

This evening, I get to help babysit a friend's three year-old daughter. She's super cute, and with three babysitters, I'm sure it will be lots of fun and fairly low-key.

Friday is techno-savvy blogging day!

It's Friday evening and I'm staying in to get some work done. You know you're a grad student when...

Actually, I passed up a pot-luck tonight, which is very much out-of-line for a grad student.

I've been fussy and cranky lately - not exactly sure why, but I'm just feeling like I'm wanting to be a bit anti-social this weekend.

After some troubles with proprietary audio file types today, I put some recordings up of my latest performance last month.

They are available on my myspace page, but since I'm getting more and more techno-savvy, here it is, embedded!

First and Second Movements

Third Movement

Fourth and Fifth Movements

I play another concert on Monday - also through the UBC Contemporary Players, but this time the piece is quite a bit shorter. I hope to have a recording available a little bit sooner than it appeared this time around

Thursday post

Happy Thanksgiving... if you're American.

On a Thursday - really?!?

I don't get these Americans. One of my good Vancouver friends is American, so we had a makeshift Thanksgiving dinner tonight. 2 of the 3 present were Vegetarians, so it was a non-turkey event, which is fine.

The menu:

Appetizer: Artichoke dip with Tostitos: The chips were surprisingly salty. The dip was rich and delicious.

Mains/Sides:

-Sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top: I was confused about why they needed so much sweetness. Brown sugar AND pure sugar on top... was a bit much for me. I would have preferred nice creamy mashed potatoes, but this was a meal to help our American friend feel less home-sick.

-Green Bean casserole: mushroom soup and french-fried onions. Even though I'm not a huge bean fan, I actually would have preferred them just plain with butter.

-Stuffing: after my roommate made it with the directions from the box, we realized that we had spent 3 dollars on a box of croutons! Nevertheless, it was ok with the gravy.

-Stuffed Red Peppers: This was my contribution. The stuffing was mixed beans, tomatoes, spinach, onion, tomato sauce and chili powder. They turned out pretty good, not that anyone else would know.

I am not the easiest person to offend, but tonight my feelings were hurt. Neither of my friends even tried the peppers they were served.

It's not just the fact that the food went to waste (I'll eat the leftovers, but stuffed peppers are never as good after they've cooled), but it was fairly clear that they assumed they would be bad, so they didn't even try them - essentially telling me that my food wasn't even worth trying!

After I had tried my pepper (I tried it last on my plate, after everyone else's...) they asked me how it was. I replied modestly, 'it's okay", because, what kind of douche would reply 'oooh, the peppers I made are superb, you simply must taste my deliciousness!'

Oh ya,

We had peach/blueberry pie from Safeway. It was sugary and delicious.

I'm a fairly slow composer. It takes me longer than I'd like to get the ideas I have down on the page. At the same time, I usually have the whole piece conceived and planned out in the pre-planning stage, when the pencil is just starting to hit the page.

I get bogged down by the idea that so little of the piece is on paper, that I feel like I'm always behind. Today, my lesson was a nice reminder that that's not true!

In my lesson, my prof complimented me on how organized I was and lamented about how she wished all her students put that much thought into their pieces.

It's not like I'm going to take this as license to stop writing things down altogether... but it was nice to have my compositional method reaffirmed.

As much as I don't like to identify with bachelor lifestyle, I fully embrace the practice of (almost) never making my bed.

Of course, I know how and do it from time to time, but I'm just not willing to make it into part of my daily routine.

Soon, I need to invest in the proper sized sheets - my mother bought me 2 sets, both of which are king sized and I have only a double bed. On the one hand, the fitted sheet fits perfectly over both the mattress and box-spring, but I can't tuck in the flat sheet at all, and there's a lot left to be tucked in.

The other problem is that, Feng Shui be damned, I have my bed in a corner. With one side against the wall, it makes the bed-making process rather obnoxious.

Ok, that's enough random dribble.

Back to composing.... random dribble.

Only one more week of NaBloPoMo

NaBloPoMo is reminding me why, every once in a while, I think of killing the blog altogether.

Forcing myself to write something everyday shows just how little of worth I have to say on here.

I lost my bank card a few days ago, so I had to go all the way across town to a PC Financial pavilion to get a new one. I love almost everything about PC Financial, and those who have ever talked about banks with me will know all about that, BUT I don't like how few locations there are in Vancouver - either for shopping or for the banking pavilion.

Nevertheless, I rarely actually need to go to the pavilion - in fact, I don't think I went even once when I was living in Ontario.

Anyway, I did need to go today and it was horrendous. Google maps and the lady on the PC phone both told me it was at the wrong intersection, so I had to walk about 20 minutes in the rain along a big ugly, busy street to get there. When I did arrive, the pedestrian entrance was an uphill mud path leading to a large parking lot to walk through - cause really, who would try to go there unless they had a car!?!

After all this hassle, I bought myself socks - lovely, fresh, clean, new socks!

New socks are one of the best feelings in the world - I'll go reward myself with that happy feeling right now!

The meeting this afternoon was great. My poet and I are on the same wavelength artistically, so that is wonderful.

He is very open with how I use his poetry, and he even seemed really excited about my plans.

In other news, I'm not happy with my cellphone.

About 4 months ago, I got a smartphone - the BlackBerry Storm. Not comparing it to anything else, it's not bad as a phone. Nevertheless, comparing it to the iPhone, it's shit.

Mostly, the applications.

One of the things I wanted to do with my smartphone was organize my diabetes with some of the applications out there. I was told that, at the time I got the phone, the BlackBerry AppWorld was under development and would soon have lots. 4 months later, and there is NOTHING new in terms of diabetes applications.

I'm not sure whether this is BB's fault or what, but it doesn't matter - they're simply not meeting my needs.

I called Telus to inquire about switching to an iPhone. Long story short, I need to call back during regular business hours, but they seemed resistant to it...

I have a 3 year contract. I'm not trying to back out of that, in fact, I'm willing to extend that by another 4 months by resigning - fresh.

In fact, I'm wanting to upgrade my plan and pay them an additional 5-20$/month MORE per month for the next 3 years, and they still don't want me to do it?!?

I just don't understand. It defies logic.

Anyway, I'll call again tomorrow and see if I can't talk some sense into them.

Making up for the 9th

I realized that I never posted, late or otherwise, on Nov 9th. That was probably because I was desperately finishing up the bassoon piece.

To make up for it, I'll do 2 posts today in regards to a meeting I'm having a little later this afternoon.

I'm collaborating with a poet for my choral pieces. Technically, it shouldn't be much different from using any other poems because they've already been written, but it is. Working with a poem is fun because you get to highlight different elements of the poem and even rework it structurally.

I have chosen one of his poems already and I believe he will have some others that complement it to suggest.

I have some ideas and I think they're pretty good, but I'm really interested to hear how the poet will react.

Also, I know that writers are very aware of the sonoristic elements of the words they use, but I wonder how organized he was with them. I did a phonetic analysis of the poem and have found/created structural divisions based on types of vowels used.

Oh wel, I'm about to find out soon!

Reconnecting

I guess movies and sitcoms had convinced me that reconnecting with people from the past could go horribly wrong, but I'm rethinking that now.

Since moving to Vancouver, I've gone for coffee/dessert with a few people that I haven't seen in years. There's always the fear that you'll have nothing to talk about and that things could end horribly, but that's not been the case - and I don't think it actually ever would be.

Anyway, today I had a delightful 2 hour chat with a girl I went to undergrad with. We hadn't kept in touch at all, but since we're both in the same city, it made sense to meet up. I'm glad we did - it made for a delightful afternoon.

Despite nice distractions in the afternoon, I need to focus tonight and get lots of work done...

Here we go!

Friday Post

Hmm,

This drinking all afternoon and evening thing on Fridays seems to be a regularity. Not that I'm complaining, but it got in the way of blogging yesterday.

Anyway, this week has not been good for getting things done. I had my personal day in the middle, and no assignments or anything, so I really didn't have any motivation. I should know better - there's rarely any outside motivation in grad school.

This weekend, I'm meeting with some people in the afternoons, but that will hopefully be the extent of my socializing. I need to get a lot of music written - that is priority #1!

Thursday post

And, we're back on schedule!

I've been knitting an elephant lately. I don't know why, but I'm not enjoying it. The pattern is overly complicated and it's just frustrating me. Also, it's pink, but I didn't have enough so I'm using a variety of pinks, and I might even run out of those!

I would really like to just trash this project, but out of spite, I'm going to finish it.

I've been in a funk lately. It might be the lack of sunlight, and constant raining, leading to SAD - I hear that's quite common in Vancouver. I'm also over sleeping. Staying up late is fine, as long as I wake up after only 8 hours of sleep, but after sleeping through the whole morning, I end up sleeping another few hours. I feel tired all the time because of it.

I remember when I first got here and was still waking up early in the mornings, I had so much energy and was so productive. I should get back to that!

For now, I just need to force myself to be productive no matter how I feel!

Today has been good.

I took a personal day.

I've been stressed and overly emotional lately, so I haven't been getting much composing done. I cancelled my lesson yesterday, and my prof was very supportive. Also, the rehearsal I was supposed to have today got cancelled.

I slept in and took the day to myself. I bought groceries and rearranged my cupboards.

I'm going to do a little work tonight, but we have friends coming over later this evening for fun times watching Glee.

Mr. Insulin Pump,

Why do you annoy me, even when I'm no longer using you?

I was trying to sleep peacefully this morning after my alarm went off. After a few minutes, I heard a faint beeping. Smacking my alarm again, I realized it was not the cell phone alarm. I assumed it was imagined, but then it kept going on.

Eventually, I realized it was coming from my desk drawer, where you were hiding.

I asked you what was wrong and you said, "OFF NO POWER".

Can't you just die silently? I promise, I won't shed any tears either way.

Sincerely,

Michael

This is precisely the kind of thing I was trying to avoid. I asked a forum on TuDiabetes for advice on what to do when not using a pump.

They failed to comprehend why anyone would not be using the god-like machine...

I was wondering if taking the battery out would result in losing all my settings and info from CGM, but no advice there. The responses chose to focus on trying to convince me to stick with the pump, or trying to speculate on why I was having problems, rather than helping me with the questions at hand.

Caught up, for a day...

NaBloPoMos,

You should be proud - I am actually posting my Monday post on Monday!

Today was very pointillistic. I had three reasons for being at school today and they were all spread out, but I think I made good use of my time.

After a short rehearsal, I spent an hour just chatting with a friend.

After a delightful composition seminar presenting Chinese and Indian instruments, I got some work done over lunch.

After the executive meeting for UBC Composer's Collective, I headed home and wrote a blog entry.

Then everyone read it and was happy.

The End.

Sunday Post

Well, another failed attempt at posting on the proper day, but I'm not too concerned.

Today was a pretty lame day. I've watched a lot of internet tv and got minimal work accomplished.

I discovered the comedian Sarah Haskins. I've been watching her segments all day long, on and off...

www.current.com/sarahhaskins

She's hilarious and I'm one-day addicted to her comedy!

After a week of no rehearsals or coachings, I have a rehearsal tomorrow morning at 10am - the earliest day of any of my weeks. It will be fun and I'm excited to play!

Saturday's Post

I seem to be falling into a habit, I'll try to fix that tomorrow with a properly timed post.

I often tell myself that I favor simplicity in my music, but I often give myself reason to question that premise.

I'm currently working on a choral piece with text by a writer I've met in my time at UBC. Without getting too detailed, I want to expand on the inherent sounds of the text, as spoken. Counterintuitively, I've complicated everything by translating the text into IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) so that I can be picky about the precise vowels and consonants used. I'll have a huge palate of colours with which to compose.

Despite having a lot of material to work with, I'm trying to figure out a way to maintain the simplicity and cleanness I'm wanting.

I'm noticing an irony:

In the classical world, singers learn IPA and the proper diction so that they say everything properly. The effect is something that sounds nothing like how people really talk.

That is not what I want, so I am taking a largely academic approach to getting a choir to sing like they would talk it... The diction element (at least) would be much easier if I just got a bunch of uneducated schmucks off the street to sing it, but I don't know how pretty it would be.

Friday, Nov 13th

It seems like I keep missing days, but that's not the case.

I consider the day to be over only when I go to sleep. Since I usually stay up until 2 or 3, I have a few hours of grace period, for any of those NaBloPoMo sticklers out there.

Foozball Friday usually lasts about 2 or 3 drinks, and around 2 hours. Today, it lasted 10!

The campus bar portion included foozball as well as shuffleboard. We stayed later than normal because one of our friends could only join us after 2 hours in, and we wanted him to experience the joy of shufflepucking!

Libations included the standard Rye and Diet, and some chicken fingers for food.

Next, we went for some food at a bar near Granville. It had been over 4 hours since the start of the day, so I had another full meal. I had a pulled-pork sandwich and split a half-litre of red wine with a fellow non-beer drinker.

Well fed and liquored, we went onwards to 5-pin bowling. All they served was beer, so I had a can... Yuck! I'm not a beer drinker, and I shouldn't even try! I only played one game, because they had to clear out for the glow-bowling reservations - if only we knew!

Then, we stopped off at the BC Liquor store to pick up some libations before heading to our apartment to watch some episodes of the Flight of the Conchords. Having finished the bottle I got around Thanksgiving, I got another bottle of the Canadian Club 12-year aged rye whisky. If I haven't raved about this, I should have! Rye is a pretty standard mixed drink, but it's mass produced for purely it's alcohol content. On the other end is Single Malt Whiskies and Scotch. This stuff is much closer to that end, which is why I wasn't willing to buy a standard rye this time around.

Anyway, while midnight might seem like an early end to a Friday night, it was just about perfect after having spent the entire afternoon and evening with good friends!

I don't think I'll sober up enough to get something productive done, but enough to write a blog post!

The jungle is growing!

I found this great pattern for a frog, but I didn't have any green yarn, so I fashioned this little guy after a poison dart frog! I'm happy with how he turned out and I just bought some green yarn tonight so I can have a realistic frog as well!

Today was an exceptionally good day for diabetes, so I feel pretty good about everything.

I went with my roommate and a mutual friend tonight for a bit of a shopping spree.

I got a new messenger bag/satchel/manpurse at Winners and a variety of other things at Walmart.

It was good to be out of the apartment!

Remembrance Day

I feel guilty that I didn't get a poppy this year.

In previous years, they seemed to be everywhere, but not this year. Over the last few days, I've been keeping an eye open, but they haven't been at the places I frequent.

In the afternoon, I went skating with friends at the Olympic skating venue. It was a lot of fun. I haven't skated in a long time. My arches have never ached so much! I wasn't nearly as bad as I predicted I would be, but it was still pretty iffy. After the first half hour, I calmed down a lot with the screaming.

Diabetes while skating was ok. ish. Sugars were about 12mmol before and for the first while. When I checked later on, they were at 7mmol so I started popping some lifesavers. After we finished, they were back at 12 - I'm not sure if that was a rebound from a low, or from the candies. I guess it will remain a mystery.

Other than that, today has been a very low-key day. I'm doing laundry and I washed dishes.

Nov the 10th Post!

Last night, I finished my lion, ish. I still need to sew a face and toes onto him, but I think he looks pretty cool!

I stuffed him as well as I could, but his legs are just not strong enough. He looks pretty cool when he's sitting though, and pretty cute!

Oh ya, the more important news...

Last night, I finished and sent off the score to my bassoonist.

I'm excited to take a little break from the piece and get started on something fresh - Choral pieces!

I picked a poem to use, and I'm just waiting to get permission to use it before starting on that. The good thing about knowing the poet is that I shouldn't have to wait long.

I'm getting down the the wire with this bassoon piece, and procrastination is at a high.

Why can I not do this much tidying when I don't have a piece to finish writing?!?

After 7 full days, my CGM died. 45 minutes of solid weak signals were followed by a lost sensor message despite the fact that it was mere inches away.

Because Medtronic's CareLink technology is not mac-compliant, I am unable to show any pictures of the progress I made over these 7 days, but I can tell you that it was spectacular! I will use a friend's computer in the next week or so to upload my info. There were a few days that I was anal enough to input all of my info into the bolus wizard, but not enough to really analyze the trends.

What I got out of the week was:

-knowing that my sugars are stable as a rock overnight

-knowledge that my sugars only start to rise once I've woken up. This is caused by a change in metabolism, and NOT the dawn phenomena that people pre-empt with the pump. I never really found the perfect solution for this morning sugar-rise problem while I was on the pump. As a result, I need to take 3 units as soon as I get out of bed, plus any correction, or insulin for carbs.

-updated carb ratios - I'm back to 1 unit for every 5 grams. Basically I've learned that insulin is a little less efficient on MDI, but that's ok.

I'm going to use this information to get things under better control. If I remember to pack the pump, I'll likely use the CGM over the holidays to help keep an eye on things. Or maybe I'll use it earlier to really tighten things up before the holidays.

Anyway, for now I need to finish this piece.

Goodnight!

Between the two lines.

Anyone who has used Continuous Glucose Monitoring (CGM) technology knows the significance of those two lines...

The CGM graphs your sugars on a screen as they unfold horizontally over the day. The vertical placement of the curve on the graph is based on how high or low your blood glucose is. The middle section of the graph is bookended by the user's high and low glucose levels - it's like a game where you have to stay between the two lines.

When you're above that line, you're on edge and you might even take rage boluses to get back in range. When you're below... you're likely feeling low, so you eat or drink some carbs.

I've been a little stressed and pissy about diabetes lately because I was not spending enough time between the lines. It seemed for a while, like I was residing above, and it only passed through the middle section en route to a low or a high. Of course, I'm exaggerating, but that's how it feels when you're not in complete control.

Anyway, today has been great. The 3 hour graph shows two little breast-like bumps indicating the food I've eaten along with insulin I took to match. The 24 hour graph shows one high from yesterday evening that barely goes out of the range (due to delicious post-halloween candy eating) and then slowly coming down and a few little wiggles since about 6am.

I am allowing myself to be happy about this because I deserve it. I hope it will stay like this for a while, but who knows for how long. My sensor has been in for about 6 days now and I'm not sure how much longer I can leave it it. I still have no redness or discomfort from the site, and the readings have been pretty damned reliable.

[I just tested with my machine, and realize that it's off by quite a bit...]

There we go - I had a brief moment of happiness about my diabetes control, and now it's back to the reality.

In other news, I'm going to buy a nose-hair trimmer today. That's right, I still can't and probably will never be able to grow decent facial hair, but my nose hasn't been informed.

Every once in a while, my right nostril gets inflamed and really sensitive. I'm pretty sure it's from ingrown nose hairs, so I'm going to start taking the proactive approach of trimming.

That's about all for now. I need to do some more writing and then I'm going to the opera tonight.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but every Friday afternoon, I go out with some music grad-student friends for drinks and table games at the grad-student bar on campus. We call it foosball Fridays because, well, foosball and pool are our main activities.

I am not good at either of these games, likely due to my lack of patience. I use what we refer to as the chaos-theory - where I move and spin the little men as fast and violently as I can. I also tend to shriek, laugh, scream and swear a fair bit while playing. Pretty standard Michael stuff.

I can feel that I'm so close to finishing my bassoon piece; I can tell that it will be a struggle to maintain focus this weekend and finish it, but I need to. Though my bassoonist hasn't rushed me at all, and I'll still have it to her before her deadline, I'm already behind the deadline I had set for myself. My original goal was to have the whole piece finished by Oct. 30th. Instead, I've been working on it movement-by-movement; half was finished and sent before the deadline, so now only one of four movements remains.

I look forward to the end of the weekend because I will have finished this piece and I won't have any upcoming deadlines of any kind. I will be able to start fresh on a choral piece, get back to the song cycle, and get working on next term's piano music to learn for contemporary ensemble.

I've booked my travel, so I will officially be in Winnipeg from Dec 15(16)th through January 1'st(2nd). I'll have lots to work on over the break and I'll be very happy to spend lots of time with Petra.

Now it's the fifth!

I went to see a free piano tonight.

It was ugly, but I didn't care. Apparently, in the 60's, for some reason they covered it with some kind of plush stuff - I don't know why. I would have been fine with that, if it weren't so complicated.

Moving a piano in Vancouver will cost $180. If there are any stairs involved, it costs double. One of the keys would need to get fixed, but the piano was actually in pretty decent shape.

Anyway, the idea of paying nearly 400 dollars to move a piano that still needs to be tuned and repaired... I don't quite think I can justify that kind of expense right now.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little run-down right now so I'm going to stop typing.

It's still Nov 4th ish...

It feels like I missed today.

Just so busy, every moment was filled.

I spent a massive chunk of the day helping a friend move. I felt a little drained from that and by the time I got home, the time difference meant it was too late to call my sister to wish her happy birthday. Every wednesday, we have people over to the apartment to watch tv, but since the show we watch was a repeat, we played a board game. It just ended, so once again, I was a few hours behind my blogging.

Nevertheless, today was a great day. My friend who was moving really needed the help and it felt great to be able to lend a hand. His daughter is too cute for words and kept things interesting with singing, dancing, playing piano, bowing, imaginary friends and even some social commentary on how the whole world is really one big community.

Board games and mulled wine are a good combination. Board games can be tricky though, you get to see a different side of people. We learned that my roommate is fairly competitive, while I get a little power hungry/spiteful. The game went a little long, so I lost some interest, but it was mostly pretty fun.

I've decided I need to go low-card for the next little while. I might have to adjust my carb ratios at different times of day, so little inaccuracies cause huge variations when you're eating carb-heavy meals. It seems like I need loads of insulin for lunch, but barely anything for dinner - so I'll change those carb ratios for tomorrow and see if that doesn't help. It makes sense - that matches my basal rates on the insulin pump, anyway, I'll post more about that tomorrow.

I must be playing my cards right.

I certainly haven't hidden my agenda to become more active as a pianist. I joined the contemporary players at UBC so that I could get my hands back in motion.

For the first concert, I played two pieces and I've gotten really positive feedback thus far. I look forward to working on new music, and it appears that there will be lots of opportunity for that.

I joined a group of composers here at UBC that works towards promoting the music of, and concerts involving members of the UBC composer community at large. We're organizing a concert series for next term, and have been brainstorming for ideas. After last week's concert, I was asked if I would be interested in playing a concert of new music in January. I'm taking this as a compliment! Composers are picky people, so if my own peers think I am a worthy performer, then who am I to argue!

This will also provide me with the opportunity to foray, back into the land of solo piano music.

Christmas break will be fun and filled with new music learning!

In terms of diabetes, today was my first full day on CGM. The numbers have not been pretty, but I'm trying not to correct too much, I want to see the trends, and they're harder to see when there are lots of little boluses.

Onwards and upwards!

NaBloPoMo

So, I've joined it.

Apparently November is a big month for things. That means I'll be blogging daily for the month...I used to do it, I'm sure I'll be able to for a month.

I got some progress done on my bassoon piece tonight, slow but sure.

Earlier today, I put in a Continuous Glucose Monitor. It's been a few weeks since going off the pump and I've very much enjoyed the freedom. With that freedom, I've become complacent, so I need to hone up on my MDI skills! Even though I won't use the pump for insulin delivery, I'll be inputting all the info through it so I can see everything nicely organized on the graphs...

Oh, wait, I can't!!!!!!!

If anyone from Minimed/Medtronic is reading : Why is CareLink not Mac-Compliant?!?

Also, while I'm complaining... BLACKBERRY, What do you have nothing worthwhile for diabetes?!? When I got my blackberry, I was told that the appsworld was new, but it would develop quickly - LIES!!!!!

I've followed some tech sites that compare the different diabetes management programs on the iPhone - there's many of them, but Blackberry, you suck at this game! And don't tell me that it's the software developers, not the company... Well, why are the developers not interested in you?!? Make them be!

It's also 4am and I need to go to sleep.

Post #900

Well, the topic of this post will be none other than procrastination - that thing that results in endless blog entries and motivates efficiency at the last minute.

Unfortunately, it's not a good thing and I need to find a way to dispose of this nuisance. It is present in every part of my life and it is certainly not helping.

I just don't understand why I do it:

I want to finish my compositions quickly so I have more time to edit and improve them.

I want to improve my diabetes control so I live longer, healthier, happier.

I want to lose weight so I look and feel better.

...but I don't act on these wants, at least not right away. It's like I'm addicted to that sense that my actions could lead to something wonderful - Wow, how full of myself can I get?!?!

Lately, blogging can barely be considered on my list of procrastinations, I only do it when I have time and the shorter entries don't take up much time at all.

Knitting has been a favourite pass-time this week or so. I'm currently knitting a lion, I'll post a picture when I'm done. It's quite an involved pattern, so I'm excited for how it will turn out. Uh oh, I'm looking forward to how it's going to turn out... soon I'll start procrastinating against the lion project, haha!

Anyway, dinner is finished baking so I should go eat.

Happy NineHundred to anyone who is currently or has ever followed my blog. I think I'm the only one left, so congratulations me!

Who knows if I'll make it to 1000. I'll probably procrastinate against that...

Visit NaBloPoMo

Post 899?!

Holy moly, I feel bad wasting a post as I get so close to 900, but oh well.

I'm about to make my return to the concert stage tomorrow at noon. Both pieces are well rehearsed and will be pretty awesome at the concert tomorrow. I am not nervous at all, rather, excited!

At the same time, I feel pretty behind on my composition. Last weekend, I worked like a madman, barely leaving the apartment for a few days. After that, I lost motivation for a few days, and I'm struggling to pull it together right now.

I sent the first half of my bassoon piece to the performer - early! In theory, that buys me a few days of leeway with the other half. It is coming, and I know exactly what needs to be done, it's just a matter of doing it.

I'm currently at a crossroads - I should stay up all night writing music, BUT I have to be in top form for the performance tomorrow. I'm going to stay up a little later, but not too much. I will also use my time before and after the performance to get as much done as possible.

In other words, I'm stopping this post NOW so I can get back to work.

I hope to post a recording of tomorrow's concert on here or myspace as soon as it's available.

Pumpkin Party

This is what I did!

8 people were at my house this afternoon carving pumpkins. 6 of those 8 were using stencils to make beautiful, ornate pumpkins, but I stuck with the old-fashioned method of freehanded pumpkin stabbing!

I finished my pumpkin's face within a quick timeframe, but sensed I had another hour or so before everyone else finished...

I carved the star, moon, and bat into the back and realized that they actually shine onto the wall, which I think is pretty cool.

Then, I separated and baked the pumpkin seeds while others were still carving. 8 pumpkins make for a lot of seeds!

In other news, I worked harder on my bassoon piece this weekend than I have on anything in a long time. I'm now half finished, and seriously doubtful that I'll get the rest done on time, but I'll still try and keep working at full force until I finish.

While I had my doubts about the piece even just a week ago, I'm liking it more and more as I go. I'm looking forward to hearing from the bassoonist who will be playing the piece - to hear about how it actually works.

Anyway, back to work for me. So much to do!

Hooray!

I'm still alive

... not that anyone would notice if I stopped writing this blog altogether.

This week has been pretty busy so far. Lots of late nights and hard work. The deadline for my bassoon piece is coming up and I'm working fairly feverishly towards it. I'm almost half done... In terms of time, it's been about a month and a bit since starting it, and I now have about a week and a bit left. I'm pretty sure the remaining work will come relatively quickly because I have the basics figured out already. Eek, it's definitely going to be a time crunch...

I had my first midterm of my DMA earlier this week - I felt ok about it. I improved in that course between the first and second assignments, so things are moving in the right direction. Also in little over a weeks time, I will be performing in a concert.

Oopsie, I got distracted and now it's time for bed

Since starting here, there have been some busy times, but generally I've had lots of free time. While one might think I would, I haven't done much blogging or knitting. These seems to be time-occupiers that I end up doing when I shouldn't spend the time on them.

My bassoon piece is due in 2-3 weeks, I have lots of work to do in that time, which is why I started knitting last night! I made 1 slipper... not a pair of slippers, but a single one. I hope to get the other one done soon, maybe tonight. But, I am making good progress on the piece - with my time management, it's all or nothing, I seem to only function at full capacity, when I have many things on the go.

So far, I'm happily off the pump. I forgot my insulin pen when I went to thanksgiving dinner at Jon and Mai's, but we were able to secure a zipcar to pick it up before dinner was ready! I now have 2 pens going, one in my bag which I always have with me (face it Michael, it's a purse) and another on my nightstand/shelf for all at-home insulin needs.

We all have stupid moments: the other week, I went out for the evening with not-enough insulin left in the reservoir, but it turns out that the pump underestimates the amount left in the pump for safety anyway, yay!

These kinds of silliness follow me in all areas of life, so I'll try to be better, but never any promises.

Ok, back to focusing on my work instead of jumping back and forth from window to window.

Happy Turkey Day!

My sugars were high all night, but now they're coming down.

I've done a few double takes today - after checking my sugar this morning, I went to check my pump for when the last bolus I took. Unfortunately, the insulin pen doesn't remember that... I used to have the Innovo, which did, but it's been discontinued and my old one's internal, non-replaceable battery finally died - it lasted many many years!

I've planned for today to be rocky. Once I'm over the sensation of renewed freedom, I'll stick in a CGM so I can know how things are really working out.

In other news, this is Thanksgiving weekend and I really do have a lot to be thankful about:

-While I've been obsessed with the problems I've been having controlling my diabetes, I'm thankful for not having any complications, after having the condition for nearly 20 years.

-Even at it's worst and most complicated, diabetes care is worlds better than in many areas of the world. I'm thankful that I will be able to live a long and healthy life.

- I'm thankful for the drunk-dial I got from my sister yesterday evening. They have the annual Thompson Thanksgiving dinner with far too much wine. I usually get a phone call and it's damned entertaining!

- When I moved to London, I made some friends, but it took a while to feel settled and comfortable in my surroundings. Moving to Vancouver has been so much more wonderful. I'm thankful that the people in Vancouver have been so wonderful and friendly. Even yesterday, I went to a thanksgiving dinner hosted by someone I just met, yet by the end of the evening, it was like sitting around with good friends.

-I'm also thankful that I'm able to get paid to study and practice what I love!

Thanks for reading!

Thankfully yours,

Michael

back to Old Skool

I've been using the Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) over the last week. I was hoping it would enlighten me as to what exactly is going on, but not so much. It just presents some of the mysteries more clearly.

I was using an expired sensor, so I shouldn't have expected perfection - it was actually more accurate than one of the sensors I used when I initially tried it- but as usual, I ended up chasing more frustrations than I was solving problems.

ALSO, not having your technology Mac /Apple compatible? NOT COOL Minimed/Medtronic - not cool! What is the point of having the CareLink stuff if I can't use it to analyze my information from this last week.

I'll have to use one of my friends' computers, but that is a terrible inconvenience for me!

I took an injection of Lantus half an hour ago. I took it in the bum (tee hee hee!), and it felt good. I haven't been able to use that area for infusion sets, because you sit on it all day; I forgot what good real-estate it was for injections. Also, the physical act of using a syringe is something I've missed - it felt good.

I can't even explain how excited I am to sleep without my pump - either figuratively or literally naked.

In other news, tonight I went to a delightful late Thanksgiving dinner with some friends from music school. It was hosted by a music theorist who has a columbian husband, so both of those demographics were well represented. It was tons of fun, great food, and good times all around.

a lovely visit, come and gone

Fun Friend Fi and her boyfriend were here for two nights and now they're in Victoria. As usual, it was filled with fun times and general excesses - eating, drinking, and laughing to be specific!

Yesterday we did loads of walking around downtown and Stanley Park. We also went to the Vancouver Aquarium and went to the movie Zombieville - Amazing movie!

Tonight I'm going with a friend to a thanksgiving dinner, I think - it's almost 7pm already... I think we're either going to be quite late, or this is an oddly late dinner..

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to have dinner with a good friend from Winnipeg.

Altogether this will be a good weekend, though nowhere near as productive as it should be. Oh well.

Fun Friend Fi in Vancouver

One of my bestest friends in whole wide world is in town with her boyfriend. It's only been a few hours, but I'm already having a great time.

None of us are big planners, but there are some things they've mentioned that might be fun: Stanley Park and the Vancouver Aquarium. I've been before, but they're always a good time. Stanley Park, while not a relative (hardy har har!) is a beautiful large park that is well worth visiting.

Also, since Winnipeg is behind the times, they want to go to IKEA. I've been to the one in Richmond a few times now, so I think we'll head to the one in Coquitlam. I've already met some great new friends in Vancouver, so my inclination is to try to get everyone together for fun times. Worlds colliding (a la Seinfeld) aside, it promises good times!

They always say that having visitors is the best way to explore the city you're living in - it's totally true: I'm testing the knowledge I have about Vancouver, but also adding to it!

Ok, good night.

I'm finally starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. This is going to be a very busy month, getting more intense as it reaches the end. I've never been a particularly fast composer, but I took on the challenge of finishing a short-ish piece (6-9 minutes) in a month. There will be a performance of it on Nov 30'th, so I need to get it done with at least a month for the performers to learn it. It is a multi-movement work, so at least I can send separate movements, so that's sorta cheating, but there is still a lot of work to get done.

This weekend, being long for Thanksgiving, could be a great opportunity to get a lot done, but I won't... One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world is coming to visit - Fun Friend Fi! I'm very excited and it will be an amazing weekend, but I'm realistic and I know that I won't get anything done. That way, if I get anything done, I'm a winner!

Also, I got a haircut yesterday. Now it's short. I should know better than to go to a stylist, they always cut it for a style, ev

en when I tell them I don't use product and I just wash 'n go. As a result, I always have to do some alterations on the front. Today, without product, the front looks worse than when my drunk friends butchered my hair.

Like, seriously, where did the hair on the right half of that picture go?

I realize my hair looks better with product in it, but I think a good haircut should be able to stand on its own without product, and this one certainly can't. I don't have time to fix it before I leave today, so I'll throw some hair gunk in for today. I hate touching a hair that's filled with product.... Yuck!

Anyway, I should get a start on my day.

Then: My first family dog was named Queens. She was an English springer spaniel, white and brown, beautiful and well trained. I remember that every day, I would come home from school (this was early elementary school) and she would be out in the backyard. Trained not to run away, she would sit in the middle of the yard, along the pathway as my sister and I came through the gate. Once it was closed, she would run over to greet us. That sense of regularity and comfort is a wonderful thing.

Memories are faint, but after she passed away, I remember feeling so alone when I would get home from school and the yard was empty.

Now: My landlords have a cat named Bob. He is orange and very affectionate despite being a somewhat outdoor cat. He sleeps and eats inside, but spends his days exploring the front and backyards, particularly the front garden. Around dusk, he loves to sit near the top of the stairs looking over the world and his garden.

When I come home around this time, he watches over me as I come in and close the gate, then as I walk into the garden, he comes down the stairs to greet me.

It's nowhere near as regular, but every once in a while, when Bob is there to greet me, I can't even explain how warm and wonderful it makes me feel.

Just a few days ago, I was thinking that it still felt like school was only starting up.

I must have been delusional because I just noticed that it's gotten hardcore:

My first assignment is due on Tuesday, SSHRC is due on Wednesday, I will be performing 2 pieces on the October 30th Contemporary Players concert, and I have an Oct. 30th composition deadline for a piece which I've barely started on.

Hopefully, on Monday, I will get a wonderful birthday present of time and focus...

not likely!

A1C

I got my lab results back from early/mid September.

As usual, all of my levels are AOK except for the A1C.

I find an A1C of 8.4 to be very unsatisfying:

1) It's too high for all the effort I put in.

b) It's the exact same number I had last time! I don't even get the satisfaction of patting myself on the back for improving minimally, or self-loathing for getting worse.

It is probably the least satisfying because I've made a complete turnaround since starting the road trip in late August. I've only had one or two instances of my sugars shooting way up into the stratosphere when I change the site, compared to every time, before. I've cut my TDD nearly in half! I have to do the math, but I've been much less aggressive with my carb ratio, from 1 unit for 5 grams, to 1 unit for 7 or 8 grams of carbohydrate.

Nevertheless, these changes have only been in effect for a month, and that's not enough to significantly change the results of a three-month test. All I can do now is continue in this positive direction and hope for the best the next time around.

In other news, with the diabetes bloodwork, I also had some... err... other tests done - which all came back negative (phew)! Oddly enough, I've always romanticized the idea of going crazy from syphilis: how so many composers of the past died. Nevertheless, I suppose it is better to not die, regardless of how artistic the cause might be...

In the never-ending saga, I found out that by requesting my medical files from the doctor in London, I am no longer his patient, thus no longer eligible for Ontario coverage. The pharmacy in Ontario has indeed put my order through, thankfully. They will send it tomorrow and I will have my last free drugs until I am set up with B.C. Healthcare.

Let's hope they send enough to last until then!

Greetings,

Apparently this week is Invisible Illness Week.

I think it's fairly late, but I'm going to do this meme that is going around the diabetes online community.

1. The illness I live with is: type 1 diabetes
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1991
3. But I had symptoms since: in retrospect, I often used to feel 'funny' late at night as I fell asleep on the couch.... later I realized that this feeling was hypoglycemia
4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: being aware of every element that effects my sugars/metabolism.
5. Most people assume: that they know enough (or even anything) about diabetes
6. The hardest part about mornings are: eating something and taking insulin to get my metabolism going - I'm not a morning person and I hate eating in the morning, but if I don't my sugars go haywire!
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House MD!
8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: my glucose meter.
9. The hardest part about nights are: not eating close to bed

10. Each day I take 2 pills & vitamins: not so much. Each day I take an average of 65 units of insulin and I test my sugar an average of 10 times.
11. Regarding alternative treatments: When I was a lot younger. I was initially part of the inhaled insulin trials, but was weeded out of the study early on. Inhaled Insulin was hailed as a cure and it was very exciting. More than a decade later, the trials and studies were finished and the released the product on the market. It flopped - massive failure.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Provided everything is going well, I love that diabetes is invisible. In reality, things don't always go well and sometimes we just want a wee bit of pity... just a bit. I wish I could exercise without all the complications - I've been trying for a while. Today, I was running late to meet some friends, so I was walking fairly fast. I broke a sweat, but as I got close to my destination, I started sweating profusely. There is a point when your body decides it's kicking it into high gear and it starts dropping your sugar fast. When my sugars drop quickly, I sweat. I guess what I'm getting at is that I wish it was either completely invisible or completely visible, but alas it is neither.

13. Regarding working and career: Everyone has personal issues that they bring into the workplace - I think it is everyone's responsibility to prepare themselves as needed. Of course, things will come up, but I get offended when other diabetics throw around the disability card so freely.
14. People would be surprised to know: just how integrated into my life diabetes is. People focus very much on the incidental aspects of the condition - carb counting, injecting, testing, etc.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: ya, I don't remember the old reality at all, even if I do remember snippets, they were through the eyes of a 6-year old and they have no relevance to my current life.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: have sex. In my early teens, I was horrified that my poor diabetes control would leave me impotent. Poor understanding of sexual function and short vs long-term complications led to even more confusion in a confusing time of life.
17. The commercials about my illness: are always about type 2 diabetes. Also, they're about diabetes in the United States - not really applicable to me.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: having my halloween candy checked only for the dangers of razor-blade apples.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: the idea that I knew more about my own diabetes than anyone else.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: I don't know what hobbies I had at that age, and I'm sure any new ones have no diabetes relation.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: run and flail through the streets and eat when I felt hungry and not test my sugars.
22. My illness has taught me: everything I know about living and independence.
23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Any unfounded information about diabetes. Telling me what my numbers should be, or what I can or can't eat.
24. But I love it when people: sincerely ask about diabetes and listen to my answers
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and dog-gonnit, people like you!"
26. When someone is diagnosed I'd like to tell them: It depends on how old they are. I would tell an adult to get educated and always learn, but be prepared to make mistakes and forgive yourself freely. I don't think there is a single thing you can say to a kid, or anyone for that matter. Just teach them to fix their mistakes and learn from them, but never overprotect them and prevent them from actually making those mistakes.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: that it is totally common. Pretty much everyone has gone through something, or has something they need to be concerned with. Some people have allergies, some people have diabetes, some people get hit by a car and spend months in a cast or hospital.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: provided me with exactly what I needed without pointing it out and making me feel like I needed them in that situation.
29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: just because diabetes is commonly invisible doesn't mean it should stay that way!
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like my answers are very similar to Kerri's - I guess were not alone!

Get involved with Invisible Illnes Week and let people know that just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there. And have a great weekend!

A Bed, Finally, almost...

Today, I bought a bed. It will be delivered on Friday morning between 11 am and noon. I got a really great deal, but even so a bed is a large expense. It's scary that I only got my scholarship paycheck yesterday, and the money is already almost all spent.

I've been sleeping on an air mattress since arriving here. I know that two more days is nothing in comparison, but now that I've spent the money on the bed, I want it NOW! Also, the air mattress is deflating more and more each night. I should make that a priority tomorrow - finding the hole or leak so that my last night without a real bed will be as comfortable as possible.

My diabetic supplies are finally being sent from Ontario tomorrow. I'm not sure when I will get them, but I don't know if I could wait much longer.

I was informed that they won't be able to do it for me again because my doctor mentioned that I was no longer a patient - because my new doctor requested my files. There's nothing I can do about it, BUT I'll complain anyway. The pharmacy fucked this one up - they wouldn't let me control how things were ordered, I had to go through a middle man/lady. Had they been able to tell me exactly what prescriptions I had available, I could have made do, BUT they tried to fill too much of one insulin type, meaning they had to talk to the doctor.

I'm not even getting the full 3 months out of them, but OH WELL! I'm glad to get anything from that wretched place. I hate Ontario and I'm glad to be done with it. Mumbly mumbly grr fucker mumbly!

Also, I'm fucking sick! Sniffles and runny nose make me pissy!

In other news, first rehearsal for the Schnittke went pretty darned well. My ensemble mates are really good players - this is going to be a good experience!

They weren't overly friendly - I made sure to ask all of their names and actually remembered the names, I introduced myself and tried to ask them a bit about themselves. They weren't rude or unfriendly, they just weren't super welcoming. I imagine it is mostly because they all know each other already, so I'm an outsider, but I won't let that effect anything.

I started working on the Adams Hallelujah Junction - it's hard. I ran into my piano duo partner and we did a walk'n talk. We're on the same page about the piece - both needing some time to look it over before even thinking about getting together.

Happy - I had a great first real lesson today with my advisor. Anyway, I need to sleep. It was a long day and there is a lot to get done in the next little while.

One step close to forgetting about those exams forever.

I finally got the email about entrance exam results.

First, I point out the fact that I studied quite a bit for the history, and only a few days for the theory.

The first email read as follows,

"The following students need no remedial work in music theory:

Michael Park (DMA, composition)"

Of course, there were other students listed, but I'm glad to have been included on that list. This means I don't have to do any remedial work for theory, and it also makes me feel more confident being in the theory seminar I am currently taking.

"Michael Park: Passed Classical and 20th century areas. Needs remedial work in medieval, renaissance, baroque and romantic areas. Please contact Dr. Xxxxxx to get an assignment for medieval and/or renaissance areas, and Dr. Xxxxxxx to get an assignment for the Romantic area (OR retake the exam for the 4 defficient areas in August 2010.) "

Oopsie!

I am not surprised at all - I think I actually predicted this outcome exactly. I'm now emailing the applicable professors to find out how much work lays ahead. Luckily, I don't have to audit a course, I might have to write as many as 4 papers, but that's much better than having to re-sit that exam - never again!

I imagine it will be a little longer before I hear back about the assignments, but I feel somewhat relieved to finally know the results.

Pianistic Comeback!

I've been away from the piano for too long.

Playing for dance classes was not enough to keep me going.

I am entering the realm of contemporary chamber musician.

I registered in UBC's contemporary ensemble for a few reasons:

1) I know I need to get back to playing before I am completely out-of-shape as a pianist and can't whip things back together. I never want to be one of those people who used to be a pianist.

2) I need to improve my knowledge of contemporary repertoire, and what better way than to play it and be around other people who are playing it.

So far, I've been assigned to two ensembles, each of which is playing an awesome piece.

I will be playing along side a string quartet to play:

Schnittke's Piano Quintet (listen to the first movement, the other movements are available there also).

It is a great piece in 4 movements. It's about 20 minutes in length, kinda piano vs. strings in a lot of it. I LOVE the final movement because it is so beautiful. The piano has an ostinato - repeated phrase throughout the movement - an eerie close to the piece.

I am very excited for my first piano duo - 2 piano, 4 hands.

I met the other pianist in passing at a welcome barbecue; his name is Miguel Brito. I know he is doing grad studies in piano performance; I can't remember if it is a masters or doctorate, but either way that sets high standards for me to meet.

The piece is John Adam's Hallelujah Junction. It is about 15 minutes long. This will be a nice challenge for me because it is a minimalist piece - many cross-rhythms and subtle shifts which will make it difficult to co-ordinate. Nevertheless, it is a great piece of music and I'm looking forward to starting work on it.

I'm not sure if there is going to be more or not. This should definitely be enough to keep me occupied in addition to my composition studies and academics.

A part of my wants to be swamped, to take on more than I should, but there is still that pragmatist inside me saying, 'slow down, don't go crazy!' I'm not sure with which I'm siding right now.

4'th Year Undergrad.......

I was still a piano major, preparing my final solo degree recital. Meanwhile, I had decided that I would pursue composition in graduate studies. I was essentially double-majoring and working a part time job as a ballet pianist - it came to be too much. I passed my recital and degree, but I know I could have and should have done much better.

I was not able to find that balance.

Masters in London(, Ontario).....

Realizing that I hadn't found that magical balance of piano and composing, I decided to focus solely on composition. While I wrote for piano and did a wee bit of accompanying, Michael the Pianist became subsidiary. I never really felt musically happy in London.

I was not able to find that balance.

While I was there, I blamed the city itself - something I didn't really have control over; now that I've moved, I'm taking everything into my own hands and addressing the possibility that I just missed playing piano by.... playing piano!

The amount of piano playing I'll be doing should be less than I was playing that year and I'm not working outside of school this year; I think that means I should be able to balance time and whatnot better.

In conclusion, I'm very excited about the opportunities this year - not just to play and make great music, but also to get my life in check and find a way to be the musician I want to be.

Settling in

Today was my 20th or 21st First day of school. I think it went pretty well.

Because of the entry exams, I knew some people already so it was a nice, friendly atmosphere.

I found out that I might be able to get out of my bibliography requirement course by submitting a term paper from a previous degree. I sent it as soon as I found that out, so I hope to hear shortly that I qualify so that I can re-register in the theory requirement course that I wanted to take.

There was a welcome bbq at lunchtime. It was rainy and they took a long time to get the bbqs lit, but I got my burger after my audition:

I had an audition for the contemporary ensemble - it went very well. I'm sad that now, I'm pretty much finished with the Scriabin piece I learned over the summer. Happily though, the piece served its purpose as the ensemble's director was impressed both with my choice of piece as well as my playing. I'm excited for Monday when we find out what music we'll be playing!

I also had my first lesson with my advisor today. It was basically our chance to get to know each other. I showed her some scores and played some examples. We also talked about the program/portfolio requirements and some of the projects I have planned for the near future.

She asked me to describe my music and approach to composing - despite it being the main thing I do, I really wasn't able to tell her much....

[and tangent...]

I know there was a point in my life when I was quite a good communicator - heck, I was on the debate team and loved public speaking. These days, I fumble words almost constantly and it feels like my vocabulary is shrinking. I'm not sure what is going on, because it's not everything, just some areas:

This summer, I worked in a call centre and was an excellent communicator at work. I knew the answers to questions and was able to spout out varied descriptions of operas and concerts with no problem. It seems like whenever I'm trying to express my own ideas, I fail miserably.

[end tangent]

Ok, that's it for now.

Entrance Exams

In order for UBC to make sure that their graduate students have a base level of education in theory and history, they have entrance exams. The exams cover everything from the middle ages through late-twentieth century music - a total of 6 eras.

Aside from the other people who took the exams, nobody believes that I did badly, quite badly. The only solace is that everyone coming out of the exams felt terrible about them.

THEORY

The last question was to analyze 3 pieces and I didn't even get to the third piece. Despite not feeling terribly well-prepared, I felt not as badly about this one as I was about to feel the next day...

HISTORY

This exam divided everything into the 6 historical eras, each of which had short answer questions and essays.

In the short answer section, you needed 12 out of 20 to pass. I KNOW there was at least 1, maybe 2 sections that I failed. I was not alone... quite a few of us were counting whether or not we had answered anywhere close to 12 correctly. It was odd - I know what I know, so at first I didn't want to put guesses in, but when I only KNEW 10, it became worthwhile to put some educated guesses.

I'm fairly certain that I failed at least 4 of my essays. The sheer amount of writing I did was sub-par.

After both exams, a group of us went out to socialize, but after the history, we all needed a stiff drink.

Early next week, we'll find out just how much remedial work will be necessary.

On the one hand, this has not been starting the year off on a good foot, but at least none of my comp profs are involved in the process!

I have met with my advisor and we planned out my courses for this year and I have an idea of what I will need to take next year. The program outline is pretty detailed, and I actually don't get much choice in what types of courses I get to take. In lieu of comprehensive exams, I have to take an extra course in theory and 2 extras in musicology. After picking those, there is only room for one actual elective! I'm going to fill that elective with the contemporary players ensemble. I thought it was odd that UWO didn't require me to do a bibliography course, but now I will be doing it here.

All in all. Things are starting to come together and I'm getting excited to start the year next week.

2nd post in one night

Wow, 2 in one night - I'm awesome!

I've fallen in love with the strawberry flavoured black tea I'm drinking - it's amazing!

Diabetes over the trip has been interesting. I've needed less and less insulin - especially since getting to Vancouver. I might need to change my carb ratios, but there's just too much to think about to get things very organized.

ALSO, I need a reliable meter in order to make real changes.

[Time for a rant]

Who the fuck decided that measuring whole blood was a good thing?!? Especially without a reference chart! I'm not sure if they think you're actually supposed to treat these the same as plasma numbers, but they're not! I don't even know the brand of meter I've been using, but it's the medtronic sponsored one that communicates with my pump. When I first tested the meter, I noticed that my sugars were always about 2 mmol over ALL my other meters (3 of the 4 were super close, but not this one). I went through the customer support and they verified that my meter was working and that whole blood is usually higher than the previous type of testing. Long story short, I was told to just use the meter and trust what it said because they're results are more accurate than any other meter I've ever used.

The only time that meter has read under 7mmol this last week or 2 has been when I was sitting on my new kitchen floor right before chugging back a glass of orange juice, in a cold sweat and fumbling with the strips. My glucose at that moment was 4.4 (before juice). YA RIGHT!

The only reason I've been using the strips is because, moving across the country, I can't afford to waste the strips. I've been assuming that I should just add 2 to every number I get and that seems to work fine.

Anyway, I'm back on my favourite meter - I'm plugging it now - the LifeBrand blood glucose meter. It's super cheap (60% of the cost) and the meter is attached to the strip bottle and can be discarded after each use.

The only problem is the excessive amount of packaging that it comes in. You need utility scissors to open it up and then it's all jagged - basically it can save you the hassle of using a lancing device....

Ok, that's enough rambling. Good night!

A new live in Vancouver

So far I love it. This post will be about everything non-diabetic, so that post will come next!

The road trip was pretty good. We made good time and stretched ourselves a little too far on some of the legs of the trip, but we made it and in good spirits. We talked about the possibility that we might hate each other by the end of the trip and how it would suck to be stuck in the same apartment thereafter, but that's not the case, so yay!

Vancouver is beautiful and the weather is great. The good sense we had about the area and the apartment itself have been reaffirmed since we've been here. Nothing we could need is out of walking distance.

We have to wait a little while longer until we get internet into our apartment, but there are TONNES of coffee houses to connect to wireless. Also, having my blackberry helps to survive life away from constant connectedness.

If I've ever complained about being less-than-affluent before... I was wrong. I'm still waiting to hear back from Ontario Drugs - they're my lifeline... The university plan has a 2-month blackout period so that the people who opt-out don't double dip - that means that I don't get any upfront help until November. I'll start the application process soon, but becoming a BC healthy person will take up to 3 months. That means I reeeeeeally need Ontario to get their stuff together soon. Anyway, enough health.

I'm taking my lack of funds as an opportunity. I will be forced to be better with money. I will also have a great excuse to not eat out, or eat as much. If I mix those things with regular exercise (which Vancouver promotes), then I could use this as a chance to lose some weight.

My room is slowly getting furnished. I have a desk (bought off of craigslist) and a chair (rolled down the street from someone's curb). I'll be using an air mattress or the couch for sleeping for a little while. Prescriptions are my priority, as well as some other expenses. I will get a good bed when I can see that I'm more financially secure. It's not going to be like this the whole time, in fact, just for a month or so. I actually had to swallow my pride and ask my sister for money. I will have regular money coming in for the next 4 years, but it hasn't started yet...

Ok, my next post will be much more health-related!

Yesterday, I hung out with my closest London friend for the last time.

Now, aside from work people, there aren't many people left that I should see before leaving. I'm going to see another friend this afternoon as well as do some more packing.

I'm pretty organized, it's just a matter of getting the motivation to pull everything together and I'll have no problem getting things shipped out tomorrow afternoon.

Tonight is my last day at work. I haven't made any decent sales in a while, so I'm not very motivated. Also, I won't even see the money from this paycheck until I am on the other side of the country.

Last week in London!

This time next week, I will be half-way from London to Vancouver.

As much as I'm excited, I hate the process of moving. I made the mistake of starting many weeks ago - packing is something you have to devote yourself to for a while - not spread it out.

As a result, I've been procrastinating for a month and am having trouble feeling the pressure which should now be very much present.

Work really sucks - I suppose I should be happy that I had a summer job at all in the state of economic affairs, but entertainment sales campaigning is certainly not a good industry lately... My paycheques are barely half of what they were last year.

I really can't wait until I am in school and my funding is coming in on a regular basis. I wish I could ignore all the stress and stuff that will be taking place over the next month - magically appear in Vancouver ready to go!

After work tonight, a few people gathered together to watch a movie - 'I love you, man'

It was funny and good times when someone enquired as to what a certain sound was - at first we thought it was the cat playing with a toy, but it was making a lot of noise.

Well, the cat had a toy alright... a BAT!

As if it was fate, a phone rang moments after we discovered what was making the noise...

'NanaNanaNanaNana

NanaNanaNanaNana

(you guessed it...)

BatMan!'

It was Ring-a-Wing delivering the wings that someone had ordered.

(that's right, there is a place that delivers wings like pizzas!)

Stereotypically, the girl and gay boy whose apartment it was were freaked out and pretty useless. Of the two straight boys, one was freaked out that we were all going to get rabies, while the other was willing to smash it to pieces with a tennis racquet.

I'm not going to lie, it was a fiasco with lots of screaming and some googling how to get a bat out of your house. Nevertheless, I was the level-headed one - securing a garbage pail and a monopoly board to cover the open end. With the tennis-racquet boy backing me up and rabies-fearing guy passing me the monopoly board, I captured the bat and released him back into the wild - only screaming once during the ordeal.

In conclusion, tonight was fun, but all in all, I wouldn't want to be a professional bat-removal specialist.