Elmo You scored 39% Organization, 65% abstract, and 64% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables. First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean. Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type. Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself. You are mostly organized, more abstract, and both introverted and extroverted. Most people either love or hate Elmo. I hope you love Elmo, because that's who you are. You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Elmo has the same basic approach. His place is pretty tidy, but he doesn't spend all of his time cleaning it up. You both are abstract thinkers. You definitely are not afraid to take chances in life. You only live once. You may notice others around you playing it safe, but you are more concerned with not compromising your desires, and getting everything you can out of life. This is a very romantic approach to life, but hopefully you are also grounded enough to get by. Elmo's whole life is based on fantasy and his imagination. In the beginning he was a regular character, but now he spends most of his time in this fantasy world. You are both somewhat extroverts. Like Elmo, you probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations. Elmo spends some of his time with real friends, but he also needs some time just to chat it up with his goldfish. The other possible characters are Oscar the Grouch Big Bird Cookie Monster Ernie Snuffleupagus Kermit the Frog Grover The Count Guy Smiley Bert If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 14% on Organization You scored higher than 81% on concrete-abstra You scored higher than 57% on intro-extrovert

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

sicky, and Im falling apart

Im sickish with something. I've had it for 2 weeks at least closer to 3. Basically my only real ailment is that I have a terrible cough and a mild degree of phlegmatism. Nevertheless, on thursday of last week I was at the peak of my illness, I had random cold sweats and stuff that made me think I had a fever, but that was only for the day. I also had mucle isms: partially achy but also a little lethargy. For this reason, I've been avoiding practicing too intensely lately. It hurts mentally to not practice much, but I know myself. I have enough problems with tension and stress in my wrists, I don't want to overuse anything if it could cause damage. I've actually been doing well in that department. I've combined a battary of stretches and relaxation techniques that I developped while attempting both manual labour and pianoing during the summer (very taxing). I haven't had any problems really since the peak of the summer, but I started to feel the strain this past week, so I'm being proactive.
In terms of falling apart, here is a little backstory. I had a root canal a few years ago. Now Im in the process of getting a crown on that tooth. On Tuesday they did the tooth shaping and gave me a temporary crown. I didn't understand exactly how temporary this crown was to be. They mentioned that I should not floss it or eat sticky things as it might come off. So what did I do thursday night?I ate candy. What happened? It broke off.
Friday morning I called the dentist as soon as I woke up hoping I could get an appointment that day/afternoon. She told me to come as soon as I could, so I didn't shower and rushed there with stuff for school. I had to wait and it took a long time, but I had my temporary crown once again. Fastforward to friday night, Im eating salad at Tropikis with my parents and what happens... I had been eating on that side of the mouth and once again, in the same spot, the tooth breaks. I don't care anymore, if its gonna keep breaking Im not getting another one!
Other than those things, all is well. I partied like it was 1999 this weekend.... literally, I haven't been binge drinking to this extent since around then...(thats a lie..ohwell). It was a good weekend filled with 2 halloween parties, a long day at work, a bake sale during the work day, La Bohème(AMAZING!) and much much more!
I think Im gonna stay in tonight and get lots of stuff working. I have assignments to work on and practicing to get done, maybe I'll head to the school tonight to be productive. Im almost done my piano rep assignment, then I'll do some stuff for 20th Century. Yippee!

Good times

Well, I had my lesson today, and it was good times.
We talked about rep and changed some pieces around for recital...
Anything Bach related has changed.... we've decided to do the PDQ Bach piece based on Mozart's Turkish rondo... from the Sonata Im playing in the same recital.... because there is this relation... David freed me from the obligation to play the corresponding J.S.Bach Prelude and Fugue. The A minor P&F by J.S. is huge, like 9 pages, and would take up too much recital time. Instead, David suggested a lively rollicking P&F from WTC book1 in G Major. I like it, and Im going to do it!
I was a little worrysome about the lesson, cause -What if I felt good about the progress, but he said it still wasn't enough?!?- There was one page where different sections are at different stages of playability. When I played it, rather than play at the slowest tempo and have everything perfect, I changed tempos to suit their preparedness which threw me off and nothing was as good as it could be, cause I didnt actually switch tempos... i just planned on it. This apparently was not good enough, he questioned me on the quality, and I replied with some mumbling about how the different parts weren't in agreement in some kind of flustered jargon, that Michael does best! He started to talk about how if I use those methods , things will come together... and I made the tension particuarly visible by blurting out "I did, I made them do that and there's only so much I can do. The sections all go perfectly on their own, they just aren't as fast as they should be yet!" He could tell that I was a little on edge, so we went to another section with the understanding that that page would be better next week.
There was another time when I looked like an ass because I mentioned how a certain section didn't sound right to me when I play it as fast as the score says I should... and then near the end of that section, theres a Huge Ritardando... and I wasn't doing it cause it felt so awkward. After a few tries with him saying "just do what's on the page", he stopped me and had me start the section over at the fast tempo, and told me to do the Rit. Long before I got to the rit, I knew that I had just been stupid. It made sense.
He didnt appreciate what I did with the opening section, which was feuled by pure unbridled spite. Last week he complained that my opening section was too random and had no pulse... so he made me practice it with a metronome and said it better be perfect next week... so I did that, I played it exactly in metronomic time with the dynamics... but there was no tempo flux marked at all... so it was boring and unexpressive. He commented on the end result and I was quick to say "But you said to play it absolutely perfect in tempo"
I knew all along what he meant and what he wanted, however i didnt care.
anyway, ive been trying to type this for hours, and I give up NOW

just a little update

I've noticed a change in my practice ethic lately. Definately for the better. Im hoping it is a lasting difference, not just reacting to the recent events that could have easily scared me into practicing good for a while.
I guess the difference is that normally when I practice hardcore and in the style that David expects, I feel good about it after the lesson at which David tells me that he's happy about it, but I'm actually enjoying this method and seing it's fruits already. I've applied to not just to the Rubinstein, but on my own to the Brahms and the results:
The one in a-minor; not a particularly difficult piece, but I had quite nearly given up on the middle section because it wasn't working easily for me. I sat down and just decided that I was going to make it work, and now it does granted slowly.. but it works nonetheless.
g-minor; I hadn't worked on it in a while and yesterday I managed to speed it up by 27 metronome markings. Yet another significant step towards performance tempo.
I've also been applying these methods to the Rubinstein and they're working. The effects are not quite as visible because its a huge piece of music, but that one section I was avoiding like the plague now works, and pretty much up to tempo (the one we worked on in my lesson). There's lots to tidy up still, but Im excited to have it ready for the concerto competition in December.

feeling much better

Two good things happened today that cause me to be over the negativity that was in my head yesterday.
1) I talked to Laura. She is a goddess who comands the respect of everyone in the musical world. I went to talk to her because I needed an honest answer to the question "Were the imperfections in my playing yesterday enough to distort my musicality and musical intentions?" This was the main issue I was having yesterday and part of today. If the mistakes I make cause me to sound like someone who likes music but isn't a pro at it, then I am not serving the music itself, and not doing it justice.
It would be selfish of me to pursue a career as a musician if that was the case. As a performer, one must know that they are presenting something of worth. This is why I have some major issues with some people in the school. It's one thing if you don't have the most beautiful singing voice, but you still decide to sing in a church or community choir or whatnot... but have the decency to accept that creating music (a thing of beauty) SHOULD BE BEAUTIFUL! So leave it to those who CAN make it beautiful and get yourself down to the Karaoke hall. David hinted at this point in my lesson. I have chosen to play a concerto this year that is 'off the beaten path' and he pointed out that when you play an accepted concerto like Beethoven or whatnot, if you play the notes as written, a lot of thetime the music speaks for itself.. but in a piece like the Rubinstein, you need to be able to play it even better so that after hearing you play, people will say, "Wow, I'm glad he unearthed that buried gem of a concerto' rather than "Oh, so THAT's why no-body plays that concerto..."
Laura's response was good enough to cheer me up. She said that she wasnt in the hall for it, but she was listening through the door ( she wasnt just saying that, I often see her ear pressed to the door) and she heard a lot of 'really great' sounds from the piano. Her advice in terms of the perfection was to remind me that it really isn't a reasonable goal, and thats the hardest part of being a musician, that there will always be those little things, no matter how small.. and its our job to get the music out, beyond those little things. Thank you Laura.
Laura is definately on my good list. Last year at the Genser finals, after the winners were announced( of which I was neither) she made a point to come over to me and express how well I did, and how many colours and textures and tones I got out of the piano.

2) The other good thing that happened today was my practicing. With renewed vigour, I aimed for perfection, and I was doing well enough in achieving it. Yesterday, during me lesson, we worked on a section of 4 bars and we started it at 60 bmp, and worked it to about 80bpm, and I felt like I was going to die. That was that half hour I mentioned. Today, I worked the same section as well as the next 4 bars after it. I worked this whole section starting at about 70bpm all the way up to 136bpm...and its reliable! I was really enjoying the sense of mastery I was feeling, and I only stopped because I had to go meet my parents downtown for dindin.
It was delicious, I had a baked chicken and brie focaccia... spectacular!!! YUMMY! Elephant and Castle.. good times.
ANyway, tomorrow will be a good day, Im going to go to the rehearsal with my choreographer.. she said shes been productive... although she still hasnt picked up the phone to get ahold of me...
then after that Fi and I are going to the Ballet. Dracula with music by Mahler... Im excited.

Midterm, Recital and Lesson, all in one day!

Midterm went well.
Recital, I felt went well, and I got lots of compliments from lots of people... we'll cover that soon enough...
My lesson was one of those ones where David had me just drill the technical elements of four bars for about half an hour... then we moved to another section...
This, as well as the talking, both physically and mentally drove home the point that David has been stressing with me: The importance of learning a piece to perfection so that the technical elements are completely reliable. It is at that point where you are truly free to perform without worrying about stressing about possible mistakes, because if you've practiced it a thousand times perfectly, chances are when you perform it... it will be perfect. As much as bells of "Never accept anything on blind faith" from 20th Century music history are ringing, David keeps reminding me that I owe it to myself and others that I reach that point of perfectionism and teancity, that I can decide whether it is truly for me or not. The idea is that most pianists who are worth anything work in this method, or have reached a high enough level of technical skill that they make their decision based on it's realism...
After we had moved from the piano, and were just talking, he said something to the extent of "...and if you never reach that level of perfection, you'll be always nervous about the little things that you aren't sure of avoiding.... and you'll get lots of congratulations from 90-some% of the population, a good ol' pat on the back...BUT those who know what it takes to get it to perfection will know, and while they will still recognise the work put in, they'll know it could be better"
Somehow in one sentance... not only did he completely discredit any of the compliments I received today, but also called into question my own judgement of musical worth. I really don't know, because I haven't even come close to perfection, as David pointed out to me "you've probably never been able to sit down to a piece that you know you can play perfectly with no mistakes or hesitations"... or even just once. My musicanship is always flawed with even just the little mistakes and errors. Im not expecting that everytime something is played it should be flawless... mistakes happen, like a car analogy... who knows when yer gonna get a flat tire, or overheated engine, or anything like that.... But I have never made that musical road trip having had a safety inspection and powertrain check, and servicing and filled with gas with an emergency kit just in case. I have not just developped habits, but based my musical experience on not doing these things regularly... if at all.
We also talked about how its incredibly difficult to see beyond mistakes to the musical expression and intentions of a musician.
The issue is not with whether I want to be perfect or not... I do want to at least give it that try... and I think I have been trying... but theres something blocking me. I don't know what it is. Is it possible for me to ever reach that level, or have the years, and lifetime of technical neglect and imperfections left me out of the running?
David thinks it is possible and I must believe in myself also. My problem is just in trusting his faith.... He was a prodigy that went to the best teachers even before he went to Julliard. He's been playing the rep Im working on since he was 14 years old. What does he know about not being technically equipped to display the colours and emotions and musical images that are inside of you. He's used to working with young prodigies and the sort who can do whatever with their fingers, and then trying to shape that into something intelligible as music. When I see/learn music, I know exactly what i want to happen, and how I want to shape the phrases, but then I get wrong notes in the way, whcih as he says, takes away from the musicality, so all he hears in the lessons is a pianist who can't adequately express his musical intentions. Everyso often he mentions how its frustrating that he keeps talking about this issue, and its not making much headway.... well its just as frustrating for me. Im doing what I can to try and change, and I've been spending 2 and a quarter years doig the same thing, in different ways, and still Im not good enough... not just technically, but as a person, as a musician.. I still have not developped the musical maturity to work up to a level of perfection that will allow my musianship to be understood.
Please note the discernable amount of displacement of anger, I mostly hate myself for my inadequacies, David is right, and I admire him immensely. The only problem is that I really dont feel connected with him.. Im not even sure that that is necesary though... I was strongly connected with my last teacher, and where has that gotten me... to a point where he doesn't respect what I am doing, or how I am doing, and furthermore that he belittles me infront of a choir rehearsal, as little as it were. It seems that I am not getting really any positive feedback from any source to which I would like it.
If someone were to come up to me and say that I'd make a good circus musician... I'd most likely run away to the circus.

This weekend was one of those that was very busy, and filled with stuff, and nowhere near as productive as I wanted to be...
The definate highlight of the weekend was seeing a 24 year old Russian girl play the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1. It's a pinnacle of music for piano. Fabulous music and impressively difficult. Reading in her Bio that she has been concertizing since she was 10.. I was prepared to be all bitter about yet another prodigy... but no. There was something that had developped out of her experience. Technique aside, which was nothing less than amazing, there was depth in her playing that showed a true musicality and emotional connection with the music. I was very impressed and happy that for the first time, I have seen someone that was or is a prodigy that was anything other than technical, flashy, energetic, .. the embodiment of unaged musicianship.
A group of the U of M F of M pianists talked with her after the concert, and she was amazingly humble and inspiring. She made a comment about just needing to know what sound you want to produce, and then finding a way to make it happen.... which also shows that she thinks musically first, then technically. This whole experience was altogether REFRESHING!
Also on the weekend, rehearsal for Reign of Sound as the concert is coming up:
Next Sunday October 23'rd at 7:30 pm at Holy Trinity Church (Donald at Graham)
The choral stuff is coming together relatively nicely.. it's amazing music to begin with. As well, I am officially comfortable and prepared for the piano pieces Im playing. I'll be playing them tomorrow in a noon-hour recital at school, and I feel good about it. Of course there is always more to do, but I'm very excited about this. I haven't played piano in front of an audience for a little while, so it will be nice to give people an update, and hopefully it will seem like I have actually improved over the last half year.
Today, I finally made it to that modern ballet class I've been trying to get to! The drummer is a bit of a personality clash... but he does amazing work. I really enjoyed the class. Interesting things they do in terms of movements and body flow. The musicality of the accompaniment was nowhere near as complicated or weird as I thought it might have been. The only difference is in the length of phrases, but its still always a 3 or a 2 or a 4 metre. In ballet, 8 is the magic number, phrases are always the same... but in modern, they have phrases of 5 or 3 or 7 or 11 or sometimes 8 also... basically anything, and it fits the movements of the class. Basically what I was going there was to get an overview of how rhythm fits with modern dance, and now I have a fairly good idea. My next step is to watch a piano accompaniment for a modern class at the Contemporary Dancers, which will give me a different, and more accessible understanding.

Today was an ok day. Practicing was productive. My goal was to say goodbye to Rex this morning and not be crying on the way out the door. It was hard, but I accomplished that. Coming home tonight was hard because my Mom is really heart broken. She spent the whole day at home, and he followed her around like the faithful dog he was and she felt guilty.
At school 2 of my friends had read last night's post and gave me knowing hugs today. I love my friends.
While in a practice room, I spent 20 minutes improvising as a therapeutic release and emotional experience. It always amazes me how powerful an experience it is to just let yourself go and create music our of nothing. It's one thing when I improvise for ballet, it's really structured and the goal is to outline the form of the music, rather than any emotion.
Don't get me wrong, I love improvising for ballet. the structure allows me to practice and improve technically and in terms of thinking logically about music. It's just such an overwhelming experience to let all the musical skills I've built over the years come together to create something that expresses to the best of my ability what I want to express. I still feel that the best of my abilities is not good enough. This is not to say that I wasnt satisfied with my improvising today, it was indeed rather cathardic. I just know that I still have technical impediments as well as not enough concentation.
The concentration is something Im working on. Thats one of the things I don't do so well with is theme recollection. I can create things from nothing, and repeat something similar to the original theme later, but I need to be more exact. I think I'll start practicing with hymn tunes. that wayt he theme will have to be exact and embedded.
I think everyone should improvise. Im not sure to what degree it's true that not everyone can do it. A lot of it is getting over the fear of putting out something that is not musically valid. I recently was in a practice room with a colleague, getting her to try improvising. I really think she can do it, with work at it, it would be super good for her. But it was blatantly obvious that she felt ridiculous doing it in front of someone.... I felt that way at first too, I would only do it at home, alone..... improvising on piano that is... DIRTY!
Anyway, its especially strong in musicians who are so classically trained for so long... We get used to only putting out music that has been tried by the test of time, music that has been accepted as worthwhile. Someone who is playing at an associateship level in university is used to playing music that dazzles the listener; they play mature, complicated music. When you start improvising, the material that you put out there is way down at the maybe grade 3 or 4 level... very simplistic stuff. But the learning curve is very steep. The reason its so simplistic at first is because its completely new, and the basic principles are what needs to be developed. In order for the mind to grasp those concepts, the actual technical aspects need to be so simple that they can be easily understood, and manipulated. Once those concepts are grasped, its simply a matter of thinking logically about what you are doing, and applying all the technical tricks to what you are thinking of. This is the point at which I am working.
I have finally become completely comfortable with the concepts and thought process of improvising. I find that the more I do it, the more tools of the pianistic trade I have to use. Im finding that a lot of the Rubinsteinean techniques I've worked on in my concerto have been working their way into my improvising... likewise with all the technical work I've done over the last few years. It's exciting to hear my playing, and musicality developing.
Anyway, I want everyone to at least try improvising, and Im more than willing to help you out in getting started. I think this will be my pet project, and while I was writing this, I've decided its gonna be my indep studay project for next year. Improvising: a comprehensive approach to practical applications and teaching.... something like that...
good night for now

Fun questions

I found this on a friends site, and it's fun, please fill it out for me... doesn't take much time


1. Are we friends?
2. Do you have a crush on me/are you attracted to me?
3. Would you kiss me?
4. ...with tongue?
5. Would you enjoy it?
6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I asked you?
7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?
8. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?
11. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?
12. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
13. Do you think I'm a good person?
14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?
15.Do you think I'm hot?
16. Would you call me just because?
17. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they don't involve you?
18. If you could change anything about me, would you?
19.Would you have sex with me?
20.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

sentimental post

Bear with me as I am sentimental for a while.
Earlier this evening I went for a walk with my dog Rex. We went to the park. Specifically, Michael Park took Rex Park to Rogan park. It was nice. It's been quite a while since Rex had been out for a walk because of arthritis and muscular problems. The pace was much slower and relaxed. He stopped to piss on all the fire hydrants between my house and the park. During our walk, I was reminded of bygone days, when he was a puppy and he would be so excited to be out of the yard and would pull me down the street, or how I used to take him to the park and make him go down the slide... (have you ever seen a mid to large sized dog go down a slide? it's really funny). He was the kind of odd puppy that, even though he is a black lab, he was afraid of water, to the extent that he would jump over puddles. I tried to rid him of this fear by giving him swimming lessons in the creek close to my house. I don't think this actually cured him of his fear of water, he probably still harbours some risidual resentment, but thats alright. Regardless, we had a good walk.
I am sad.
When I came home today, besides small talk, my parents told me that Rex was going to the vet tomorrow. He won't be coming home. They scheduled an appointment to have him put down tomorrow at 5:30pm.
For those of you who read my early posts, you might be thinking that this is what I've been waiting for, but it still hurts. Rex has not been well for a very long time. When he was still quite young he had chronic ear infections and tried everything, but he would scratch his ears til they bled. The only solution we found was Steroids. The vet told us he was a little weary about giving him them, because he was young and unless it was at a really low dose, it would have complications later on. Well, we still tried different things, and we tried to use as low a dose as possible, but after like 7 or 10 years we now have a dog that is balding, with no muscles in his torso, and who is on the constant steroid driven prowl for food.
My parents were able to come to this conclusion, because his mobility has been steadily declining, making a few stairs difficult, a whole flight impossible. He has also taken to destructive behaviour like scratching the door frame. It is not that we are not willing to tolerate it, we had taken out the carpet in a room because his steroid related growth/boil burst and he bled on it... We don't blame him for the behaviour, rather it has just become more obvious that he is not comfortable, or enjoying his existence if he is doing things like that.
I have been feeding Rex excessive amounts of dog treats tonight, only partially because we have no need for them without him, but mostly because I love my doggy and want him to be happy. I hope that tomorrow will somehow end his hunger that has had him hunting for fallen food, scraps, leftovers, and pity food.
Near the end of the summer, when my Grandma's health was failing, my family would half joke, half wonder who would win... Rex or Grandma..... as only the morbid humoured Park family would. Well, Grandma made it to the finish line first, but Rex, you get the other gold ribbon for sticking around later!
Im glad my parents know me well enough that despite all the talk and insistence over the last year or so of having Rex put down, that they know I do care, and they didn't rub the decision in.
Anyway, Im gonna go spend some time with my puppy on his last night.

Oi vay!

Today was a bit of a trying day. I've gone batty.
I woke up and was convinced that I had slept in and had not enough time to get to my 8:30 class. I debated staying at home because I felt extremely nauseous. I convinced my mother to give me a ride to school so I could attend class on time, so I got ready and all was not terrible. Throughout the ride to school, I was experimenting and trying to find out whether the nausea and heartburn were lessened or aggravated by drinking water, I still don't know.
ANyway, I got to the school and saw Deena in the hall on my way to class, but she had a confused look as I asked her if she was heading to class, to which she informed me that Advanced Analysis was at 9:30 as it had been all along. Confused, distraught and frightened, i leaned against the wall and fell to the ground and lay there for a moment or a few. Deena went in for her coaching and I gathered the broken shell of a man up and laid down on a couch for the next 50 minutes. The actuall class was ok, I hadn't done the reading or the pre-class work, but I was fine.
Before my next class, I went with Andrea and Karen to Timmy Ho's, but on the way through the forest, there was an extremely lound noise sounding like a gunshot or balloon popping... I shrieked and then clung on to a tree that was just to my left. Why am I such a pathetic sack of dithering shit today? On the way back, I stopped at the Fine Arts library to search for a plate of a painting... Why is is so difficult to find things places... The lady was very helpful though, but after looking through 8 books that had info on Viennese artists or the one I was looking for specifically, i still didnt have the painting.
Later that day I found it, in a book written entirely in German at the big library at the centre of campus.
Perhaps this is the reason I was having issues finding the painting called "The Return"... cause it's German!
Anyway, I finally found the painting and am reasonably sure that it is the one called "Die Heimkehr" literally translated as 'home going back'.
The reson I needed to find this painting is one of inspiration. I am playing a piece by Rachmaninoff that was inspired by this painting. I need to now find themeaning that Rachy saw in the painting and translate that into my playing.
I would appreciate if anyone could give some commentary or insight. The piece is Rachmaninoff's Prelude in B minor Op. 32, No. 10. Listen to it, its powerful and beautiful and poignant(not to be confused with Swan Lake). Also take a look at the painting itself and think about the meaning..
The music is dark and thoughtful, and I've already read speculations that the painting is of the man coming home to die... which fits the music, but at first look, Im not convinced that its the paintings intentions. Rachmaninoff was in his 40's and nowhere near death at the time, so I have to look into that and find a way to reconcile the painting with the music.
In the end, I am quite taken with both the piece and the painting, and I am really excited about this project! Any suggestions/insights would be greatly appreciated... that is if anyone still reads this bloody blog.

our friend hoppy

Well, it's been a whole month since we've heard anything from Hoppy Hopster, so I decided to look in on him to see how things were going.

It seems he and his friend Jade are having just as much fun as ever. This photo was taken over the weekend at the National "Thanks for Giving and Receiving" conference.

Hoppy is looking forward very much to the upcoming Halloween season and hopes to meet many new people at Kyle's soirée!

I tracked her down

To start go here
The Adventures of Batman and Robin
It's totally super bad, it just makes all the standard jokes, but presented in a blunt, stupid and terribly amusing manner. It made me a little happy, I hope the same for you.
Yesterday I did manage to track down my choreographer. Before I found her though, I had heard that she had talked to the woman organizing things and told her she didnt want to work with me anymore. I was angry. Finding that there were no other people available to work with, I realize that I am screwed if she actually bails on me. I ended up talking to her, and I really made very little if any attempt to censor myself. She took personal offence to some things, like my implications that her piece would have no motivation, no inspiration unless she decided on it at the outset. I couldn't really be angry at her too much, because she kept on justly pointing out that she is new to this, and has no experience. But at the same time that comment reminded me that I had wanted to work with someone with experience choreographing, so as to avoid PRECISELY the situation I'm in right now.
I think we have things worked out as follows:
-She is going to decide on a basic framework of the piece, deciding how she wants the dance to progress... how many sections and the emotion/mood therein.
-Provided with that information, I am going to start composing short motives, or soundscapes that she can use to start having inspirations of choreography. She seems to think that she can not come up with anything unless she has some sound going on in the background.
-Using these soundscapes, she will start to choreograph.
-Once she is done choreographing each section, I will fit the style of music of the soundscape and mould it into the perfect fitting musical depiction of the movements she has chosen.
She has assured me that she can make this method work. It Better. If not, I will be angry.
But for now I'm letting any bitterness and anger I have reinforce my developping artistic temperment, which tells me that this is going to be a fully inspired and passionate project. Sure, we'll go with that for the moment.
Oh ya, the reason I couldn't get ahold of her is because she moved right after she gave me her number, and then theres a new phone number, which she didnt think to give me, and she also didn't think to call me in light of me not having her number, even though she was supposed to call me in the first place.

What the Heck?!?

So, In theory, there's four seasons in a year therefore, 3 months of each season. That works out to approximately 90 days of each season. I believe that Autumn starts about the 22nd of September... so that means that its only been Autumn for not even two weeks!! I've been totally jipped on my favorite time of year.
While Im not a fan of the coldness and the cold wind and the sleet and snow and freezing rain and whatever else was making me tear up on the way home walking into the wind... there is something very special about the first snow of the year, such as:
-The opportunity to wear some of the hand-knit winter wear I've been working on all summer, and believe me theres lots of hats and stuff!
-The irrisistible urge to frolick and catch falling snowflakes in your mouth... which werent really that flakey today.
-That flightiness of spirit that immitates the snow, which never stays upon first snow.
-The Winnipeg drivers who somehow manage to forget how to drive safely over the summer, and the many fender benders.
-That sense of pride and agility that you feel when you narrowly avoid falling down on the slippery sidewalks.
-The wet spots on the bums of those who didn't quite avoid slipping on the slippery sidewalks.
-The right to bitching about cold weather because We're Winnipeggers Damnit, and thats what we do!

Varying degrees of Ghetto

So, last night, I went to the movies with Deena. There was a special deal on at a theatre that was around for many a year, then closed down, and recently reopened after a long time being closed and nearly forgotten. This special deal was Three movies for only $4.99... andbeing that Ed Wood was included.... a wonderful movie well worth 5 bucks alone... it was a no brainer.
The theatre seemed nice enough. They remodelled it after the era it was popular in... 50's ish. It had original style movie seats, with nodrink holders... no frills really, just a chair. The great part of it was that the rows were spaced SUPER far from each other, so you could fully extend your legs infront of you, and not even reach the seats in front. Some people sitting in front of us said that we could have a dance party... unfortunately they didn't follow through...
Upon the following things, I based my comment to Deena, that I was enjoying the mild-to-moderate Ghettoness of the theatre:
-The movie was at least 30-40 minutes late in starting, and the staff and clientelle, really didnt seem to mind.
-When they were ready to start the film, there was only one person checking tickets, not before entering the theatre, but after everyone was sitting.... it took her about 10 minutes to go around and check everyone's ticket and stamp it and them.
-Before the movie, they just had the blank no dvd in player screen on, no curtain. Eventually they started playing music off of some cable or satellite music station, i think it was the 80's.... you could see them picking the chanel and going through the menu....
-The bathroom was poorly designed. The door opened towards the wall, and then there was a sink in the way, only a little awkward to enter, but thats alright. There was no divider wall between urinals.... now by no means was it a Stadium trough, but I think in this the 21'st century, most civilized places have adopted the urinal divider wall for the comfort of their pissers.
Now these things were all ok, nothing to bad, thats why it was only mild to moderate levels of ghetto. The movie eventually started right in with no previews, which I thought was odd, but noone minded of course. I LOVE the movie Ed Wood. I lLOVE Ed Wood. I was happy.
Between the first two movies, there was some time, so we went and bought steamers at the little cafe there. No Complaints. We ran into the obnoxious on of my Korean compatriots at school. His presence should have immediately upped the ghetto, but I was extra civil and it was all good. [Those of you who know which Korean tenor Im tlaking about, would have been damn impressed at how I didnt tell him off, or beat him or anything]
When we went in to see the second movie, the Ghetto factor increased to HARDCORE GHETTO. I was able to quasi look beyond the fact that these movies were being illegally played off of a dvd player for the first movie because it was done fairly seamlessly. For the second movie however, they started it right at the beginning menu.... and who knows what comes next... thats right, "FEDERAL COPYRIGHT WARNING" and you could even see the little stop hand coming up when they tried to skip over it, but the players won't let you.... Get off it you cheap ass cunts. WHat the hell kind of movie theatre is this?!? If you are going to be breaking the law, at least be discrete about it..... turn the projector off, until just the moment when the actualy movie starts or anything....GOLLY!
Once again, during chapter 16 of Edward Scissorhands, the Ghetto level changed once again.... How do I know which chapter it was..... oh well because thats the point at which the dvd started to skip and freeze. They tried everything, fastforwarding, going to the next chapter.... Nope... it took 7 minutes ish for them to figure it out...there was booing from the audience... and so much laughing from all the people who realised just how ghetto the situation was....
we had reached the state of SUPER GHETTO. To resolve the problem, they had to skip ahead two chapters to get it running again...
WOW. We left after the second movie, cause it was already after midnight, and the third movie was supposed to have finished by that point... and we were tired; both physically and figuratively.
It's not that this was the worst experience of my life, in fact I might go back at some point. But really, the place should have been closed down last night for blatant violation of copyrights. I mean it's one thing if you're showing a movie to lots of people on a bus or plane, i think planes actually have to go through a procedure to show in flight movies... but its completely different when you are CHARGING PEOPLE MONEY for your profit, but not making an investment.... Whatever, I'm not here to be a moral bitcher.... but thats what I do...
Im not sure if this is just an oversight, but really, how do you open a movie theatre and not look into the whole practice of obtaining the rights to present movies....
They have brought shame to my family name, and I am glad that it is no longer my family that is running that theatre.

Craving fulfilled!

Ok this story sorta starts last week. I worked at the ballet, the morning was good. Really craved Indian food, but wouldn't go alone... wandered around downtown, many good places were closed cause its Saturday and its winnipegs pathetic attempt at a business sector... Ate at crummy hotel restaurant, it was ok, but reminded me of how I dislike bland continental cuisine, unless its done well, which is rarely. That was the beginning of the bad... the bad was multiplied by the little bastard children with no self control, and a teacher with even less control trying to squack out a semblance of music which was sheathed by the veil of musical theatre.
Fastforward throughout the week, and stop at any point, and its a sure thing that Im craving Indian Food...
Today was quite similar to last week, the morning was rather good, and the afternoon was rather bad with the bloody musical crapatre. The huge difference with today is what happened on my 2 hour lunch break!!
I WENT FOR INDIAN FOOD!!! It was so yummy. Deena, after putting up with me writing "Indian food, mmm....." on her lecture notes and whispering sweet nothings of "Let's go for Indian Food" in her ear during classes and recitals, for a whole week... agreed that we would go on saturday (TODAY) to the "Charisma of India". Apparently its been open for a while, but they recently started advertising, and they claim they have the best indian food in the city... which I might agree with.... yummy. I had Panak Paneer, which is a spinach and cheese sauce mix type dish, served with basmati rice. also had samosas with tamarind sauce... SO GOOD. I love tamarind anything, it makes things delicious... Ive discovered that the veggie burger from the Twist Cafe that I rave about is so good, basically because of this tamarind sauce... they didnt have the sauce one week, and it really wasnt as good as usual...
Anyway, I was so happy to finally have Indian Food, it makes me SO happy. They also have belly dancing and live entertainment on friday and saturday nights, and t hey have a buffet, so we will have to go there for super happy times yay!
Anyway, it was good that there was happy today, cause there was a bit of sad too. Abby is the girl that works in the office at the ballet. We became friends last year. For the first month, I had no real break so i did classes straight through, and so I never really socialized with anyone at the ballet, cause there was no real time. After the first month, they cancelled a class and so I had an hour and a half break, with no open studios, therefore nothing to do.... This was also dead time in the office, so Abby and I spent the whole time talking. I think we helped to maintain each others sanity either from the boredom or the craziness that ensue at random times in that little office. Last week, Abby told me that it was her last day the upcoming week (today) cause she didnt really have time with school and whatnot. Anyway, I wish Abby all the best, and hope that everything goes super well for her. I will miss her on Saturdays, especially now that I have that 2 hours of nothing.... there new person they hire better be super kick ass awesome. Knowing my luck, it'll be some prude... At the same time, the job posting was still up today, so if anyone is looking for some real part time office work Saturday and tuesday evening... apply, I'll be a reference... if I like you...
My hair is making me really angry lately... Im not sure why..... Everyone else tells me they like it long and that I should continue to grow it. I know theres usually a length that people dont like it at and you just have to grow it through or it'll never get long, but i really want to just chop it off. It's also perhaps that I spent too much time looking in the ballet mirror today. Generally, I never look in the mirror, only when I brush my teeth or shave, it's easy enough to ignore your dissatisfaction with your body image when you dont focus on it... but the piano bench in one of the studios i play in for 2.5 hours today is right beside the huge ass mirror and it just stares at you... I've realized that the extension of my belly/gut/roll is of pregnancy magnitude. In all honesty... if I was a woman, and I didnt really know me... I would ask me if I was pregnant, and you know I would.... social barriers have no baring on me.
I really thought I would lose more weight this summer. Especially working in a factory where it was hard work and just damn hot.... butnothing. I lost no weight, possibly may have gained some weight. I've started doing sit ups before bed. Im thinking that maybe if I write a note to myself that I can read every morning that says "Dear Michael, you are fat" then maybe it'll be some sort of inspiration... whaddya think?
Don't get me wrong, Im not one of those people thats obsessing over my weight because i think it makes me ugly or whatever reasons people have. I just find it disgusting as a reflection of my physical well being. I have so much extra mass on me that is not going to use, and it stands as a testament to my laziness, so im going to try to do something about it.
Alas, thats enough rambling for me, these blogs often turn into epics.... good night friends.