In a few hours I have a doctor's appointment. I wonder how bad my health has actually gotten. I know my control is shit. While I know how bad things will get if I continue as I am, I can't seem to muster up the will power to do something about it. I hope today will be an appointment where my doctor shows genuine concern for me- maybe that would be enough to inspire some change.
The sad thing is that I know this all rests on me, and there really isn't anything anyone else can or should do to make a difference, but something in my head isn't allowing me to take that responsibility.
And while I'm open an honest about things now, I'm sure I'll find some way of justifying things later on, so let's see how my next update looks.
1 comment:
in a way i'm like that too. I mean, long term eating of things i'm not supposed to will not render me as 'unhealthy', however, even though i know eating certain things will make me sick, i eat them anyways. Like chocolate, and coffee, and marshmallows. No control. Luckily my allergies aren't deadly. prospects wouldn't be good.
Good luck tomorrow.
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