So, I have been pretty good at ignoring the things I have to do over the next little while, but now I have realised just how much there is.
It affects me thusly:
-I am very very glad that I don't have to deal with preparing a recital and a full jury on top of all of this.
- I really need to get working on things so everything isn't in a last-minute shape when it comes to doing it.

For piano: CMC is coming up. I have to resurrect my Mozart Sonata as I have ignored it since my recital, The Bach has deteriorated a bit since recital.. but all needed is a matter of playing it over and over. Brahms and Scriabin are needed to be ready soonest, a week sunday night, but they are in acceptable condition. David told me that I shouldn't be worried about getting to second round, but I should make sure my second round stuff is really in good condition. If second round goes well, I get to play at the nationals in Rimouski this summer.... so that's what I'm aiming for. I'm going to concentrate exta hard on the Mozart and Rachmaninoff pieces for the second round. The Rachmaninoff is iffy at the moment... I haven't played it in months, I've started dusting off the moths, but yes, I am still working hard at it, and it will be spectacular on the day.

For Composing: The premiere is coming up, on monday! It's odd that I don't have to be prepared for that... but at the same time, I need to get the final copy ready to hand in for marks. It's all editorial stuff like fixing spacing of notes, making sure all the details are in there and then getting it bound. The hardest part for me is the program and performance notes. Trying to sum up the purpose of my music and then making everything that I haven't marked specifically in the score clear. I also need to hand in the same type of final copy of the second viola piece... but I have to write it first. I had been lacking direction for that piece, but then....
yesterday we saw a videoconference with a composer who had a lot of valuable things to say, and I found it very interesting. One of the things that he showed us was the way he drew out the format or shape of the piece, before he ever thought of composing notes or whatnot. Last night, before i went to bed, I did something similar. I couldn't be as vague as to draw lines and squiggles and know what I wanted them to mean.. so I built myself an architectural frame, in which I described in words what I want to happen. This way, I can build the whole piece out of the opening gesture that I have already composed..... OK, so it's not really all that related, but oh well, I have direction now!

For Academics: Jason and I have our presentation next wednesday... we're not going to have it scripted or whatnot, rather it's going to be a by-seam-of-pants flying experience. Nevertheless, we still have to know our stuff so the topics we choose to cover can actually be covered in our presentation/lecture. I have a paper to write for Piano Rep, topic=my Brahms pieces, or just one of them really indepth.... I don't know yet. I have the big paper for Advanced Analysis, on the second of Mahler's Kindertotenlieder. It's not really big...6-10 pages... but it needs to be very indepth, and I will probably be using it to apply for grad studies. I also have an exam for 20'th century to study for.. I missed some classes, so I will acutally have to teach myself that stuff, consult the text and whatnot.

Most of the academic/composition stuff isn't due til late April, but I don't want the quality of anything to suffer... plus I would love to have things done soon so I can start enjoying the summer as soon as possible.
I'm going to be starting back at the factory job pretty much as soon as school ends.. ie May 1'st-ish. As planned, I'll be working there for as much of the summer as I need/can stand. It will be an interesting balance... I think I'll force myself to stay until I have 3,500 or 4,000$ in my savings account. At that point, I will decide how much longer I want to stay, based on other musical employment opportunities available, desire for extra spending money, and how much working there makes me want to kill myself on a daily basis, or stress or whatever.

While I'm categorizing my life... here's some goals for the summer:
1) make lots of money
2) lose 80 pounds
3) have lots of fun
4) get better control of diabetes and health
5) learn at least 50% of recital rep AND all of Concerto(fist half jury)
6) compose songs for everyone who actually gives me a poem(will this ever actually happen)*
* I put this star there to announce a tangent!
TANGENT
What the Fuck!? Is it really so difficult to pick a frickin poem?
I have made the offer to at least 6 or my friends that I will write them an individualised song for their voice, all they have to do is provide me with a poem and tell me a little about their voice... even if they just give me a poem, I will do this....
I originally made this offer 1 year and 2 months ago. I have reminded people, but nothing.
Since then, I have written two songs, one of which is to be performed/premiered on monday based on poetry that I have picked myself.. but still they are personalised for the voices of the persons for whom I wrote them.
If you are a singer and you want a song... get me a poem. This is something I would love to do, but I'm going to stop reminding people of the offer.
I'm going to assume that people aren't coming with poems is that they don't want some crappy song by someone who has only written 2 songs... I'm terribly sorry that I am not Fauré, or Mahler, or Schubert... really how can I expect that people would want to sing my songs when they have hundreds of years of classical repertoire to choose from already.
In conclusion, I will offer this, my apology to my singer friends:
"I am sorry for trying to entice you to perform, or even welcome into existence, substandard music which will obviously not satisfy your musical needs, and certainly could not broaden your musical horizons. I should understand that you are musicians of a celestial sphere, and shouldn't be burdened with music written by mere mortals, you deserve only the music of the gods, and I humbly appologise for wasting your precious time."

translated as the following:

"You are all lazy-ass cunts. Get off your fat mother-fucking arses and PICK ME A FUCKING POEM"

Wow, writing posts these long cause me to meander a bit... so I will conclude there.... hoping that at least someone enjoys my sarcasm and debauchery.