Bad things from today:
Getting distracted by yet another recital tonight...
therfore not practicing much tonight either.
Also, no theory marking whatsoever tonight...
For tomorrow's lesson, I just ahve to trust the good work I did during the week will still be apparent.

Now on to another thing that distracted me for a while tonight... I should have left home earlier...
Who knows what time of year it is....
That's right.. it's getting close enough to recital to be thinking of advertising.
I think I've narrowed it down to 2 options.
1)colour and very funny.
2)Black and white, so it offers cheaper option...
I'm a little partial to number 2 because there's more room for me to put stuff and text on... but yes, please let me knwo what you all think
This is Number one This is Number 2










anyway, I'm excited to do the photoshopping all by myself. I've become quite the expert... haha!

Happy Day

good things from today:
UBC-confirmation of portfolio receipt!
Comp Teacher - liked my piece and complimented
Choir Director- really liked my piece and as a result, it will be performed at the year end concert of said choir!
I actually got a bit of practicing done at the school between the many things today.

I really did try to be productive tonight... goal was to go to school and practice for 2 hours, then mark for a few hours.
I got to the school and was convinced to go to recital.. I'm glad I did, it was great and wonderful, But i wasn't even able to do any marking during the recital. A mixture of her singing being distracting in the best of ways, and not enough light.
Anyway, the recital took the best of 2 hours, and then I tried to practice - alas, I had forgotten my metronome... I didn't realize how dependant I've become on it.. Anyway, I used the opportunity to work on Liszt in the areas that shouldn't be metronomical, and the slow areas that I can alredy play at tempo.
I borrowed one from someone else, but it wasn't digital, so the shifts in tempo were awkward... and she had to leave before I had made produictive use of it anyway. Therefore, only 9 beats of speeding up on one page in all the Beethoven.
Add to this that I have more marking to do tomorrow for thursday, which interferes with my need to practice lots for my lesson on thursday, adn I think I have an assignment to prepare for in Pedagogy.
oh well, tomorrow I am showing my choral piece to both my regular teacher who hasn't actually seen the final product... or anything really close. Also, I'm showing it to the choir director of the choir I sing in, to get feedback from him about the piece, as well as to see if he'll let our choir sing it. It will be a decision as to a) whether the difficulties of the piece are managable for a chior that sings only an hour and a half a week and 2) whether the piece has enough artistic merit to be worthwhile. (don't you just love how positive I am about my own composition?!?)

Oh ya, and I had wanted to have that wedding song written to hand out to the choristers on thursday... uh oh... not goign to happen with all the other shit I need to get done.
I'll work a bit on that tonight, but I should sleep relatively soon... gah!
I actually almost believed that once Grad school stuff was done, I'd have some life back,m adn be slightly more relaxed... BOO!

Today I'm handing in the CV and transcript that will complete my U of M application...but more importantly, it will mean that I am officially done with Grad Applications!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW! I am so happy.
I will still send out a few emails to check that things were received, but now I'm in the last stage o grad applications... the waiting.
For now, I am patient... let's hope that lasts.
Marking is taking up time already, so I hope I didn't take on more than I should have with the recital prep and all that.
Nevertheless, practicing is going well, the Liszt isn't as far off as I had thought. Also, the Bach is coming along quite nicely. I might actually have a recital ready sometime before the actual recital date!

I officially started being a TA/Marker today. I marked my first assignment... it took a few to get me back into the swing of Theory 1. Now, I remember the rules and how they apply, and they actually make more sense to me now that I have a different perspective. It does take up a fair bit of time, but it pays well, so it's worth it.
Come to think of it, I have a fair bit of random things that I'm doing for money this term... also taking up lots of time...
TA for Twentieth Century
TA for Theory 1
Accompanist for Dance Festival Musical Theatre for RWB (60 hours ish between now and April)
I assume I'll also have a little bit of accompanying for Music Festival. Definately nowhere near last year... obviously. Both because a) one of my teachers stopped teaching, therefore her students most likely won't be calling me. Also, 2) I'm not planning on trying to solicit as much accompanying work this year.
I do, however need to start promoting myself for the summer... I have some obligations that already take me into the summer, so rather than have exotic plans for far off work like last year, I'm only going to aim to work in the city, but to get as much work as possible.
Closer to the time, I'll either get a part time job for when I am not working music stuff, or if I have enough money coming in, I will spend all the rest of my time composing.
Tonight I'm off to a concert of my Piano teacher and then practicing!

Happiness!

UBC application - officially done!
I got it bound and mailed rather quickly!

All that remains in this unfortunate grad school application portion on my life is the U of M application. I need to do up a CV and statement of goals, which I already have somewhat written. I also have the extra copy of the choral piece bound, so if my teacher is back in town, I will show him all four pieces and he can tell me which ones I should include or exclude.

Tonight, I am going to practice, and I don't even need to worry about getting home with enough time to compose without falling asleep!
At the same time, I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night, so I might have to take a nap before... or I will be excessively tired tonight...
Ya, I'm thinking the napping might be a good idea, yes, definately, I love napping.

Yes, cell phone was indeed in the back of the car.

In other news, I came home and finished my piece last night and finished printing it. I'm so releived and excited to send it away now!

Ooooh, look who finished his choral piece!!!!
It was me... before going out,.,,
but i didn't write my program notes or print out the piece... so guess who is now writing program noteas and printing out the piece with a slight, and waning wine buzz.
It was an absolutely delightful evening with 6 bottles of wine and a bottle of port for about 6-8 people! also, so many kinds of cheese!!!
anyway, I can't lose focus, I need to get this done quickly, as I have to work at FUCKING (AM TOMMORROW!!!!!
yuck!

Ahhh, where's my cell phone...
I'm pretty sure it fell out of my jacket which I threw in the back of the car, but my parents are out with the car... and the phone is on silent I think.
ANyway, I really hope it's there.
If anyone is at the school or planning on going there.. could you check out room 310 for me, I had a rehearsal, thats the only other possible place.. unless the library, but ya, I doubt it.
so ya, we had a half hour rehearsal for an ensemble piece, I really like the piece, very minimalist. It's super fast and involves a lot of energy and endurance. It's also good to be in an ensemble again, it takes a special kind of skill to make music in an organized way with other musicians.
back to this piece. all the other paperwork is done, so it's just this piece on the to-do list!

That's awesome, not only did it fix it for that one.. but all my other posts have their times adjusted too! yay!
now, back to work Mikey

I just switched my time zone setting to central standard... so i think this should be properly timed!!! yay!

Firday is off to a promissing start.
I accompanied a singing exam today at 9am. That was unfortunate timing, but all went well.
AND it gave me an early start.... which I ended up trading in for a short nap later in the morning.
I have a rehearsal at the university at 2:30, then I come home to finish my piece/portfolio. If I could get the piece done before Have to leave, I could bind it at the school, but I don't want to rush unnecessarily.
Things are really coming together now. I'm working on some finer details., and the lats 2 cadences are set and I'm happy with them. Basically the most important thing to do yet, is decide and finish the intro section and cadence. If I get that done, then the piece is in acceptable shape to send in.... but I still have more I want to add in, to have more layers in the piece.
I am going to a student composers wine and cheese tonight... kinda nerdy, but it will be delightful.
Also, it gives me a reasonable, but specific deadline to work with. If I'm drinking wine tonight, I don't want to wait til afterwards to finish up my piece...that could be unfortunate. Also, finishing the piece before I go out for the evening will mean that I can really enjoy my evening, and the rest of the weekend!
yippee!

ANGER

syllabication makes me angry.
do you know the wierd al song, "everything you know is wrong"?
thats how I feel
syllabication is the way we divide words up into syl-la-bles.
In my piece... the text was wridden with su-gar, coo-kies, mo-mma and many mnay many other words..... ALL OF THEM WERE WRONG
i wear about 90% wrongness factor here
the correct versions are
sug-ar, coo-ies, mom-ma, !!!!
I meant to get a lot done tonight, but I just spent the last hour and a half fixing all of those texts... and I couldnt just copy and paste, no no... I had to select and retype them all... the equivalent of renaming a file in windows..

Anyway, this issue was brought up during my composition lesson today. I really wish I had known how to do this properly int he first place, it would have saved me hours!
anyway, now I know,ma nd I'm well versed in the the rules of syllabication... generally LOOK IN THE FUCKING DICTIONARY.... every single word is syllabified there for us.... gahg!


comp lesson/look over my piece was good. I got some good ideas of things I can do long term with the piece, and some with what I can do in the next day. He thought the piece was quite good, he just suggests a little more subtlely... great.. cause thats the kind of thing I can fix up in a night...
but ya, there were good details he pointed out that I can work on, that will help make it appear to be more subtle (sub-tle, for those wondering).
I have no class tomorrow, so tomorrow is offical get the UBC application ready to mail day! I have a statement of goals to write, but that will be a lot of cut and paste work from the other things I've written this year about similar topics. I think that's about it for what I still need to do besides this piece... so ya,I have to finish putting the fin-ish-ing touch-es on this piece. I basically have all day to do that... I will be sending the application in the mail saturday during my lunch break. I will use the binding machine at the ballet to get it nicely in one piece, and then all is done for UBC. I still have to hand in the U of M one.. that requires writing a CV and a statement of goals or whatnot...
I would feel a lot more comfortable if I could mail the UBC one tomorrow,but I'm being realistic... although saturday is the absolute latest... way to go Mr. Pro-cras-ti-na-tion.
but ya, back to the work at hand.

yuck,
why on earth is it so gosh-dang early this morning?!?
The bus does not a happy Michael make.

My jaw is sore.
I had been doing so well with not building up tension.. but I guess there are limits.

Practicing tonight went SO well. I cannot even really describe it. I guess the plan is to play the second and fourth movements of Beethoven as well as just the echo... these are the biggest improvements. The Beethoven is finally at the point where they are fast enough to judge the style and musical elements... It's so sad that the final movement is still only at 2/3rds tempo, and it's super fast!

Now, I have to get to work on the composition...
Lofty goal of the night is to fix and be happy with the three major cadences in the piece; each of which involve the text:Chocolate chip cookie
It's frustrating that I have a fairly specific concept of what sound I want.. but I'm lacking the ability to find what that sound is... it doesn't really make sense...

Ok,
So today, I had planned on going to school for the first time this week.. I went there and I even practiced for an hour and a bit.. but then I didn't go to class.. I was convinced to go to a performance that a friend was doing.
It was delightful... and the excessive number of old folks reminded me of working at the Westhaven store. Fond memories!
It was good though, and I ended up getting a ride home, and getting home even before the class I ended up skipping would have finished. Practicing-good, supporting a friend-good... we'll ignore the class part...

Just before 5pm (mail collection time), I sent my application to Western... I went over all of the required things for the application and I made certain that they were all contained.. then I sent it!!!!
YAY!
I'm going to send an email, because they didn't ask for a statement of goals or intents or anything like that, and most places do... If they do want one, I still have time, if not... even better!
Since the U of M one, i can hand in in person, I have lots more time.. it's due in exactly one week, less an hour or two.
UBC is the big one now.. I NEED to have it in the mail on saturday... I have a lesson on the choral piece with my last year's composition teacher (Cause this year's is out of town) tomorrow afternoon. I can still get a lot more done tonight for that, but I also have to practice because...
PIANO LESSON TOMORROW!
they just never stop!
I do feel optimistic about it though. I have come a fair way in the Beethoven, and I have a practice progress sheet to show him... even if it is depressing how far away from tempo I still am.
ANyway, off to practice tonight!

well, it's not even 1 am, and I'm ready for bed.
How did I do on productivity tonight?
in term sof the opening- got it slightly more notated... I picked a melodic line for the second half of the poem... now it's just picking the harmony notes.
I fixed some note choices in the first half. I'm officially happy with the mode/tonality of the piece as a whole! yay!
I didn't fix the cadence.. but I realized that it happens thrice in the piece... so when I have one of those chosen.. I will relate the three
I integrated a lot more events into the baking section, there's a lot of layers going on in there, so I'm not sure to what extent I want a lot of melodic activity happening in the soprano... but ya, a little bit once I have those cadences worked out and the exact melodic material finalized...
The ending.. in terms of a transition, I'm happy with the abrupt ending and shift back into the opening texture. rather than add things to make it smoother, I redecided that I will encorporate that melodic material near the end of the baking section - as a result, the shift won't be so dramatic.
The text is finalized.. I worked the original text around a little at the ending so that it ties the piece together in a similar style to the opening!
Stunning end... you bet.. the final cadence is super fun.. I ask for an excessively high note from the sopranos... but it's in brackets.. the actual note they they will probably sing is only slightly ridiculously high...

I'll never understand why the times on these posts are always 2 hours behind...
current time is actually 11:33.. not whatever the post time says....
geez

yippee,
diet coke number 3 since I wrote that first post... probably less than an hour./.. maybe only half an hour...
anyway, I will be up late, if anyone is readig this on tuesday night, give my cell phone a call, a distraction would be nice...
whoooooooooooooosh!

I think I'm having writer's block, but I'm forcing myself to write down whatever comes out, no matter how crappy.....
does that still count?
Actually, i don't think it's crappy. I'm delusionally excited to hear how this piece turns out!
I'm also excited that I only have to print out and bind one copy of this piece and then send it away. I will however do two, so I have a copy to show to the choir teacher.
anyway, back to work!

Also, who the fuck writes a song about baking chocolate chip cookies?!?
I'm sitting back and reading the text, and realizing that I'm a freakin' lunatic!

I think I'm not going to hold anything back.. once I've hopped on the crazy train, there's not jumping off.. unless I want to break the majority of the bones in my body

also, I hadn't drank anything but water and tea the last almost week now... and then I had hot chocolate, and then I rediscovered diet coke a half an hour ago... and I like it...oh my gosh.. I have so much diet coke drinking to catch up on...
maybe it will help me to finish this crack-baby of a song...

ok did anyone see the audition show for American Idol... I saw a few minutes of it and they were in the Twin Cities, and one girl actually was telling the camera people that she was a crack-baby!! I coulnd't believe it.. just because your momma was a crack-whore, doesn't mean we should listen to you sing.... My momma drank scotch every day when she was pregnant... does that mean that I should be a highland dancer?!?!? NO!!!!
(note to readers... my mother didn't acutally drink during pregnancy... fetal alcohol syndrome is nothing to joke about.... crack babies are)

ARGHGHHHH!!!!
Why isn't this choral piece fucking done already!?!
Lofty goal of the evening is to just finish it in one big swoop tonight. The list of things to do:
-finish writing out the opening intro section
-Work out the transition from the intro into the main ingredients section
-fix up the note choices in the opening section
-fix the cadence between the mixing and baking sections
-Integrate the melodic aspects and the soprano line into the baking section...
-perfect the transition from the baking section back into the opening texture...
-oh ya.. I need text to bring the piece to a stunning close...

BOOOOO!!!!!!!!

WOW!
YAY!
I woke up this morning, and there were boxes all over the living room!
The Christmas shit is finally coming down!!
I guess my incessant bitching as of late has finally convinced them!
Regardless of what inspired this change, I am happy to see it going away.

I'm excited to be awake and ready to be productive today!
It actually seemed early when I got up at 10:30 today, oh well.

I'm sorta feeling better, the sinus congestion is tolerable/going away, however the cold has gone down into my chest... uh oh. This is ususally how it goes, then I'll get bronchitis...
Anyway, let's keep our fingers crossed.. but as long as it's not a sinus thing, I can be relatively comfortable in my head, which is where it matters most for me.

I made a chart finally yesterday of performance tempos and current tempos... it was kinda really depressing.. I'm averaging about 65% progress... and I'm supposed to be at 100 by the end of this month... oopsie. Anyway, at least now, I have a visual that will help me to prioritize my practice time!

also,
why are there still chirstmas lights on my house, and decorations all over the place, and a fricking christmas tree still decorated in my living room?!?!
Serieusement, quoi le fuck!?
At the latest, decorations of the christmas season should be taken down quickly following Ukrainian Christmas, but we're not fricking Ukrainian!
As our choir would sing...
"do breem vay cheer, take down the fucking tree"
[ I was trying to think of those lyrics.. but all that was coming to me for a good minute was "Christmas eh neun chuk bok eul"]
Anyway, I did go out for a while tonight, enough to start getting some good ideas flowing, but the Perkins I went to closed at 11... BITCHES!
Anyway, I have the tonality and stuff like that completely finished for the complete baking section of the piece. Now, I just need to choose tones and note motives for the first half and then slap on an ending.
All in all, it's been a fairly productive day. Tomorrow, I don't think I'll be going to comp seminar, as I have no other classes. I will use my time at home to both work on this piece and do some more practicing.
Hmm, we'll see what time I'm up tomorrow and how I feel though... I could go for seeing the recital tomorrow... two of my piano compatriots are playing. The benefits would be getting a needed recital credit, as well as then being able to use an hour of my practice room time and then going to comp seminar.... but as usual, the problem is that I have to leave comp seminar early anyway to go to work downtown....
Unless I wake up on my own tomorrow ridiculously early, I'll stick with the previously mentioned plan of attack.
Enough break from working for now, I should take some insulin and then get back to working out this composition shit,WOOT!

Progress Update!

I did it!
I finished learning the last 25 bars of the Beethoven after supper!
And the slowest section of the Beethoven is only half tempo!

What it means: I can play every single note of my recital now!
Now, I just need to play them faster and better!

So, I forgot that today was Sunday.
Not a big deal, except for the fact that binding places are closed after... well, now. I didn't get around to doing it this afternoon. However, I've been practicing and I have the second movement of Beethoven in quite decent shape. It's about three-quarters tempo, but I can play it at tempo without completely falling apart. This means that things are quite reasonably withing grasp.
I'm currently finishing those last little bits of the final movement that are unlearned. That is a definate goal that has to be accomplished today. Other than that, with piano, it's all about repetition and pushing the numbers up.
I've also successfully ignored my choral piece so far all day. I'm feeling a bit better so I think it might be for the best if I got myself out of the house this evening and worked on it somewhere else. I do have the formal decisions made, and now I just need to make those choices on tonal issues as well as decide on how the hell to end it! gah! I can also take some of the paperwork with me for the other grad applications.

hmm, not as much done last night as I wanted, but ya enough to be respectable.
I'm fearing that, once again, this is going to be a weekend of not practicing until sunday afternoon...
Tonight, as I said, is going to be portfolios and composition, but we'll see how productive I am with those.
I bought some cold and sinus meds this afternoon after work, I'm feeling them start to kick in.... if only I had taken them during the day...
OH! lordy! this was a bad bad day. I really just wanted to crawl into a ball and die. Add to my health misery, during the last 2 classes, the teacher was quite miserable to the children. They deserved it, but it really didn't make me feel excited to stick out the rest of the day. Anyway, now that I have the drugs in my system, I can get the work done I need and feel better!
I got the binding done for some of the pieces. They look good, AND it was free!(saved me about 10 bucks by doing it myself!) but it did take me at least 15-20 minutes...
That meant I had a shortened lunch today, but that was fine, I still had time to eat and check my blogs. I've really been getting into diabetic blogs lately, I'm not sure if it's going to be a permanant thing, but it's helping me stick to my improved control efforts.
Also, looking at the records I've kept over this last week, they're pretty reassuring as well!
Now, it's dinner time, and then printing and portfolioing and then composing and maybe even practicing!!! HIGH HOPES!

Why is my printer a bastard... if he were nice, he would at least finish printing the scores for my portfolio before running out of ink.
I was all organized and I started to print out the ensemble piece scores this evening. I got through the first few pages, but ya, a lot of them will have that tacky lightening of the text thing that happens when your printer is running out of ink...why can't it just give out at one point, rather than starting out fine and then turning to faded grey on each of the last 12 pages I printed?!?
Anyway, no fear, tomorrow I will get a new cartridge. Tomorrow after work, I will put the new cartridge in and finish printing. On Sunday, I will do many things including:
Practicing
Take the ensemble scores to be bound at Staples or something
Finish all the remaining paperwork for the Western, and U of M applications.

The result of this productivity will be wonderful! I will be able to mail the Western application on Monday, or Sunday if possible and the U of M one will just need me to physically take it to the school office. I will have a few short days more to finish everything for the UBC one, including this bastard choral piece.

Update, I got a fair bit done on the piece tonight. It's coming together structurally, now I need to make a final decision as to how I want to end the piece. It's already on page 12, so in short... an abrupt ending! Oh ya, and a decision on tonality or what modality I want to use... that would be nice too...

Ugh, I wish I wasn't tired. It's been a short day, and I didn't wake up terribly early.. I feel guilty already thinking that it's getting close to bedtime and it's only midnight. At the same time, a full day at the ballet can feel like the longest thing ever when I'm not feeling 100%. If I were tired to boot, things just wouldn't work, and I surely wouldn't be productive when I got home afterwards.

grumble grumble grumble

I hate being sick. FUCK
my nose burns from kleenex overuse.SHIT
I'm stuffed up more than a redneck hooker at the family fun fair.
COngestion makes Michael AnGRY!
At least my parents are going to a hockey game tonight, I will have the house to myself and I hope to finish my choral piece... which I had intended on doing earlier...
Tomorrow, I'm going to do my own binding for the pieces I have printed out already. That will save me a bit of money, but the Ensemble piece for the remaining 3 portfolios.. thats still gonna cost me about 25 bucks. Then theres the Xpress post forUBC and Western... another 10 bucks each.
I think once all is said and done, I'm gonna add up all the costs and see how much grad applications actually cost me. I'm afraid to think of it at the moment. So I won't.
It hurts my head to think.
Tonight is going to hurt when I have to finish composing... it will hurt my head.
Ouch!

mmm, good day.
Piano Lesson- good, teacher was very pleasant and matter of fact. He wasn't pressing the idea that I should be more prepared now... good thing, cause it would be hell if both of us were stressing over that... Nevertheless, the moral is that there is room for much improvement on the Bach.

Classes were classes, meh.
Choir- entire tenor section was sick, bass section sounded as if they had tonsilitis, pneumonia, and Ghonnasyphylherpoles AT THE SAME TIME! No offence to those who may be reading this...
in other words, I am officially sick.. but battling it. I was in no condition to have patience for choral experience today.

Accompanying was good. The classes were a little unorganized with student meetings and whatnot, so the hour classes were closer to 45 minute classes.. oh well. I got a really good compliment. The substitute teacher for the modern class: she had subbed once earlier in the year when I was still sorting out what and how to play for modern class. Anyway, her comment to me was "when did you get so good at playing for modern?" Apparently, she noticed quite an improvement. She was also in the company classes I played for last week.
I'm excited for the regular teacher to come backa nd see if she notices a difference. She hasn't been there to teach the modern class in over a month.

I LOVE MY DANCER!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRREAT first rehearsal! It was the usual, exciting, inspiring and cathardic experience that comes with great improv. Her comment was that she started out purposefully restrained as she didn't know what to expect from me.. or whatnot, but then as we got involved in the improv,she just let herself go and left it at that. We did an opening free improvand then some structured exercises to address the ideas/strengths/weaknesses/general things that we wanted to further explore. It was great, we were throwing compliments back and forth at one another. I adore her movement style, and her initial reaction after the first improv was something like I was a beautiful player.
Needless, I feel super confident with my choice of dancer and ya, ahhh. Happiness.

I'm taking a practice break, perhaps maybe even calling it quits for the evening. I jumped back in on practicing Liszt after quite a bit of a hiatus, problem is that my muscles were not prepared... now my right shoulder is not happy with me. I'm icing it and making sure to relax it, but ya, silly arm!
It's seems silly to stop, because my parents went out so I could have the evening to practice, with the house to myself, but I shan't do something that would be more damaging than good. Anyway, it was a fairly good day for Liszt, I reacquainted myself with some bits, and I figured out one little bar that I was just about to give up on. There's a long way to go on that bastard piece yet... quite yet...
My justification is that it is the last piece of my recital.. so I have more time to prepare it than the other pieces.... yes that's it... we'll see how David feels about that.Hahaha.
Composition lesson went well, he was happy with what I had done, and he agrees that I need some different colour/not choices. The main focus is the rhythm, BUT I need to figure out what 'sound' I'm going for. right now, it's far to diatonic/unadventurous. Not that I'm doing it solely for the sake of adventure, rather sicne it's too diatonic, everything blends together too easily; I want that blend to be achieved by the rhythmic design of the piece, not as a direct result of the chordal/harmonic language. Anyway, at the moment, I just want to get the formal structure all in place, after thats done, I can change the notes and all that stuff after the fact. I'm getting to the point that I just need something that I can send off with my portfolio, regardless of how satisfied I am with it. I want to have reached that stage by the beginning of next week, as in Monday. I want to have it mailed by thursday or Friday at the absolute latest... OMG
a)I'm almost finished!!! exciement
b)It's almost time, this deadline is approaching like a bat outta hell!!! Fear.
Yep, only one more week!!!Fear and Excitement.

Also, I think I might vaguely be getting sick ish. I haven't been able to stay hydrated for a few days, and I can pre-feel the signs of illness... to combat, I took a lot of Vitamin C caplets...!

so, as evident in my last post... i've been a little stressed lately.
I have been doing better than other years, that's for sure.
anyway, i think the reason that I appear less stressed is that I've been bottling it or whatnot.. now, I'm aware that the stress is still there, so I can maybe deal with it better. Anyway, the double major thingy has been driving me a little bonkers... I really want to do really well at both composition and piano, but I've not been able to give either the proper attention. I'm not just saying that because I don't have twice the time available... rather, I know what I could do to balance the workload, and I haven't been doing it.
Moral is that I know myself well enough, and i know that once these applications are out of the way, I will be much more relaxed even though the rectial will be much more pressing as of February. I am quite fond of the concept of Recital vs. everything else... but currently, Recital vs Composition vs. everything else... wellthe thing to ignore isn't so obvious...so I end up in a rut.

On a positive note, tomorrow is my composition lesson. I took a fresh look at part of the piece tonight, and I made a lot of progress... enough to say that a whole section of the piece is ready, save a few alterations that I know I will end up making. Now, I'm working on getting that section notated on the computer, then at least I will have something quite definate to take to my lesson tomorrow. Oh ya, something I forgot to think about... my comp teacher is going to France next weekend, and he won't be back until after my submission will be due.... and I sure as hell don't have a complete piece to show him... BUT we will have a lot of the concepts and design issues to talk about tomorrow, so we can address those. After that point, I can take the finished or near-finished piece to one of the other composition teachers at the school

So yes, I'll leave you now, so that I can get some more work done tonight.
Goodnight.

I can't remember if I gave closure to my stress-ramblings up there, but yes, I am feeling much better at this time. I had a completely psychopathic conversation with myself on the way to accompany this evening, and we.. I mean I got some things sorted out.

I now hate my tuesdays!
Now that my parents are retired, they are at the house all the time. It feels like a weekend all the time, but in the bad way.
Tuesday was always my day to have the house to myself and I could be super productive without any distraction from outside sources. I absolutely cannot wait until I move out.
The thing I hate the most in the world is a radio playing talk radio when noone is in the room.
For years, my dad would leave CJOB on in the kitchen after he'd leave for work,and I'd angrily turn it off when I woke up. Now he leaves it on while he wanders around the house or out fo the house... GAHGHAGHAVJHAGHIYBDSKJLNAM!!!!!! Mumbly fuck!
It's SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS!!!!!!!!
I also dislike when the tv is on and noone is watching it, but this i'm not so fucking passionate about.
It's background noise, it's fucking fucky. I hate it. I have to put up with it in public, but in a home, I think there should be some reprise from that neverending squaking shit talking motherfucking cunt ass shit fuck noise going on. Now I even drive with the radio off.
ANyway, I need to go all the way downtown to accompany one singer for half an hour. What a waste of gas, but I need the money, and the girl needs someone to accompany her, so I'll suck it up.

So the appointments today went well enough...
Nurse Educator -
Bad start, she didn't lecture me, she just disapproved of a bunch of stuff right off the hop:
-I didn't keep a log book- this is a big no-no, as there's no way to see patters in my control... blah blah blah...
- next, she didn't even respond to the joke I had prepared.
[They always ask about injection sites, and which you are using. my response was that I usually take them in my arm, sometimes my stomach, and if it's not socialy awkward, I like to take it in the bum!]
NOTHING!!! How do you not laugh, or at least smirk when someone makes a comment like that... anyway, I'll try it again in May when I have my next doctor's appointment.
-She hardcore disapproved of both my use of syringes (implying that everything can and should be done with the pen technologies) as well as my use of normal length needles. She explained that even morbidly obese people can use short needles without having any effect on how the insulin is absorbed. She proceeded to look at me like a retarded donkey when I wasn't immediately convinced.
On the positive, I learned that needles shouldn't hurt and some new techniques on giving injections more painlessly. Apparently, I've been shooting into blood vessels which slows downt he absorption and causes bleeding and bruises.

Dietician - This was the one where I was expecting to get the lecture, but nope. She was super nice and friendly and completely non-judgemental. Basically all she had to say was to eat homemade food more often and to be more active. Rather than lecturing me about these, she gave me a multitude of excuses for why they're difficult... anyway, that was not so effective on her part, but I will try to make said improvements nevertheless.

All in all, the moral of the day is that I need to start keeping a logbook of sugars and carbs. Done, I started today, and I will continue forever.

The educator and I also talked a bit about using an insulin pump. Keeping in mind that it's not a financial possibility at this point, she was optimistic that I can probably do better using the MDI(multiple daily injections) approach than most, so I should stick with it and just refine some things. Done, Look at me, I'm refining!

I have an appointment with a dietician and Diabetes Nurse Educator. Before the appt. I was supposed to keep track of :
-everything I eat
-the carb count of everything I eat
-blood sugars relating to those
I really couldn't have worse days to show them. For example... last night I was out until 3 am at the Opera Workshop party, it was great, but the problem was that my Lantus shot ran out at midnight ish, so my sugars shot up, I was taking fast acting insulin to compensate, but it wasn't good. When I got home, I took my shot and more fast actuing to compensate for the elevated sugars.
I calculated right,m because when I woke up, I had a very good number, normally I'm smart and take insulin once I wake up because if not, the sugars go up, but I felt my sugar waslow enough, so I went back to bed til 3 pm... then they were high again, i took insulin to compensate, btu no good... they stayed high all afternoon, and until dinner, at dinner I took another dose to compensate as well as my dose for dinner. Anyway, i checked 2 hours after dinner and my sugars were at ideal range.. but theres still another few hours of insulin kicking around inside me, so I've been eating candies and hotchocolate here and there to keep my sugars from going low... and I need to do that until about midnight when the insulin will finally run out!
GAH BASTARDS!

Anyway, there will be lots for them to lecture me about tomorrow. The good thing is I've learned a lot about stuff recently,. so I have lots of questions for thema bout carb counting and dose timing and all that jazz.

I'll post about how it goes tomorrow. Anyway, I won't be able to make it for my one class tomorrow, and no class tuesday, so no school until wenesday. On the good side fo that, I can get lots of practiicng and writing done.
I managed to practice about 4 or even 5, ya closer to 5 hours this afternoon/evening. The fugue is all good now, could be faster, but at least it's good to be played. Other movements are getting much better. The second Passepied, the tricky little one is ready to go too.. which is nice, the first passepied is still buggering about, but I havea few more days. So, I know it will be a go; I can play the entire Bach for my lesson on thursday. I need to also force myself to finish learning the Beethoven and speed up the Liszt a lot. If I am to stay "on schedule" I have only a week after this lesson to have my whole recital up to tempo....
anyway, it's a theory....

It's a good thing I had practiced for at least an hour yesterday morning/afternoon...
The plan last night was to go to the GroudSwell concert and then drop a composition friend off at her house on my way to practicing at the school. Unfortunately, it was 10:30 before we even left the concert... It was a very entertaining and enjoyable concert, but let's just say the scheduling/timing was not a tightly run ship.
Anyway, long story short: I got to the school and there were no cars in the parking lot that I recognized(there were all of 2 cars there) and no-one answered the F of M lounge phone, and I didn't feel like going to the security office in the cold, so I just went home and got a little bit of composition done.
Now, I'm at the point where I'm starting to input the sketch into my notation software. This involves decisions as to which voice is going to sing the motives that are unassigned in the score. I'm off to a good start, and I have a feeling that it will go quicker than I feared it would. The main thing is that I need to do that work as soon as I can possibly do it, so I can get to the finessing of the piece and not be in a rush.
I am officially reminding myself that I need to shift to the schedule of practicing during the daytime and composing during the evening/night. This way will save me gas money and transport time that would be necessary to practice late in the evening. Composing is quiet enough that I can do it as late as I want without bothering other people.
I fared quite well on practice room sign-ups. I got the prime time, and a few days I managed to use my 2 hours on either side of the recital time, meaning that if there is no recital, I have the room to myself for 3 solid hours! (but that's just 2 days a week) Other days, I made sure to find appropriate times, but ya, the good thing is that I know I have a room to practice in if I go to the school at those times. ie. I actually have a reason and motivation to go to school!
Tomorrow is Sunday, and my plan is to make best use of my home for practicing during the day. Everything in Bach needs to become much faster. The other day, I made good progress on the first movement's fugue, as long as that is presentable, I will be able to run the whole thing for David at my lesson. Then we will be able to get a vague idea of the time the piece will take, guesstimating for the non-up-to-tempo performance...

Tonight is the annual Opera Workshop performance, I'm very excited to see my friends performing together for the last time, well, at least the last time I will see them perform together. Also, is the annual afterparty chez Davey! He's had them I think 3 out of the 4 years, maybe even all 4, but they are always well put together and they serve as a great benchmark for looking back at my time in university. I don't even think I'm planning to drink, but we'll see later on. I'm not going to be driving, so there's nothing really holding me back. I have to figure out a way home, once again, we'll have to wait to see later on...

Piano lesson - Not great, not bad. Like I knew, things didn't sound good, but he thinks I have a good sense of how the Bach pieces should go, but they were too slow to really tell. My goal is to have the entire suite at a suitable tempo next week so I can play them and they'll sound like something... that will at least take up half an hour of my lesson, probably more if they aren't up to tempo.
The Beethoven, I played the one page and he said it was to slow to even make any comment on it, but reminded me to be consistent in the staccatos.

Composition lesson went well. He was happy with the detail of my 'sketch'of the piece.... he said I have everything there except for the piece itself.
He laughed openly at my terrible poetry...which is very funny because it is so horrible.. that is the point. The poetry/rhyme is to introduce the chocolate chip cookie song:

On a cool summer's afternoon,
Dad's outside a rakin',
When mommma ties her apron on,
you know that she'll be bakin'.

She searches through a pile
of her fav'rite recipe bookies,
And then she finds the perfect one;
For chocolate chip cookies.

-Michael Park


I know, I should really get awards for my stellar poetic nature! haha I'm especially proud of how I rhymed cookies with book-ies!
Anyway, I'm starting now to notate the piece on the computer... that means I'm going to have to make some very finikky and precise decisions about how I want the piece to be.

I also started printing out the stuff I'm going to need to get bound for my portfolios , and started to get things in line for the remaining applications I have:Western and U of M. I also have to get the portfolios ready for those two and for UBC.
Like I saidin the last post, this is going to be a hellish month with the paperwork as well as learning piano music and getting things up to tempo.

Tomorrow is the last day of my playing for the modern dance classes. Apparently it's a fairly big deal that I was called to accompany these morning classes, I guess they don't ask just anyone. I wonder who has been putting in the good word for me... Nevertheless, I'm greatful to have gotten this opportunity, and I'm also very happy to have made a good first impression.

Anyway, I should get to sleep soon.

First off, whenever I try and type my name fast it comes out
-Michae; Oark
Damn typing... also when I sign my signature, I leave out the r in Park... sometimes I add it in, sometimes I just leave it... I wonder if this says something about underlying psychological defects that I have, hmm, oh well!

Next on the list:
I had tried to learn 270 bars or something... eek, well, I tried:
In the morning, I stayed on schedule, when I got to the school, I locked myself in a practice room and I worked on Bach. Success, I learned the remaining 90 measures of the French Overture!! Now, it's just a matter of adding metronome markings as we go! There is something so rewarding about knowing that I am capable of playing every measure of that piece, even if some measures are significantly slower than they should be.

Beethoven, well, I knocked quite a few bars off, but in the end, I failed. On the bright side, one whole page of the fugue is learned. Bad news, even though learned, it's drudgingly slow.

I honestly don't know how my lesson will go tomorrow, I don't think it would be beneficial to play through the entirety of things... I would prefer to use it as a guided practice session, but that's kind of a lot of ask of my teacher.
My teacher's reaction is what i can't predict, either he'll be very happy with the progress and bold step I took in learning the rest of these parts, or he'll see it as too little too late. I also see both sides of the coin.
At this point, I am glad, I feel that I'm on a good road to my recital prep.

What frightens me is that I just realized that I have three applications due at about the same time, when I thought some of them were due in Feb, it turns out they are due Feb 1'st and the other is on Jan 31'st.. ARGH!
I haven't even filled out the applications for Western or U of M.... I need to do that FAST!
I also need to print out three copies of this bastard portfolio, and then theres a CV i have to do, and also more letters of intent or whatnot... gah.
This is goingto be the month from hell, nevertheless, Reading week will not be far behind that, and I will NEEEED it. oooh, wedding in Vegas! yay!

Officially Home

I spent very little time at home today because of excessive running around, but I'm moved back in now. I must admit it is very nice to be able to use the internet and my mouse together at the same time again!!!
Practice tonight was very very productive, only Bach. I learned new things - the first halves of the passepied II and the Echo. I also pushed some tempo notches up in some key places, AND I finally got around to revisiting the Ouverture.. the massive 10 minute movement that has a giant fugue... Unfortunately, it won't be ready for thursday unless I ignore other things.
It's not good - I know that this is going to be a bad lesson: not enough done, and other things are slipping.
I had really wanted to have the Liszt ready for this lesson, but things arent so hbappy there... I learned 3 more pages which I hadn't previously touched, but that hardly makes up for the months since I worked on some of the other pages. At this moment, it just seems like I have too large a mountain to climb before thursday. The problem is that if I focus on doing things that will make my lesson go better, I'm not benefitting myself on the whole.
In the Bach alone, there are still 90 bars that I need to learn at the slowest tempo possible.... THEN I can start pushing it up...
The Liszt is getting there thanks to the other night's harcore work with learning those 3 pages, but parts I was supposed to work my ass off on long ago, eeep.I need to work my ass off on them now.... funny how things don't change with time...
The Beethoven- well the firts movement is still shitty due to leaving it alone... the middle two are good, but the march needs a lot more speed, BUT atleast I can achieve that from the state i'm currently in.. just needs the time and repetition.
The final movement, however... 170 measures to learn yet.. nevermind getting them up to tempo.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day, a day of efficiency... who thinks I can learn 260 bars in a day...... any takers!??

Heres the plan, I work til 11am tomorrow, then I'll bus to the school and practice straight through until class at 2:30. I'll see how much I've accomplished by then, and then decide if I deserve to come home...I might stay and practice all evening, with a dinner break perhaps... but only if I've been good. I'll set myself a goal... no supper until I've at least learned the remainder of the Bach. no, wait, no class until I've learned the Bach, after that, no supper until I've learned at least 80 bars of the fugue.. maybe 104, might as well learn the whole fugue... then that leaves the fed Michael only 67 more bars of the piece.
I TOTALLY think this is feasible, don't you?

YEEE HAW!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts on a month nearing its end

Today is my last night condo-sitting for Binky.
I took a fair chunk of my stuff to my house yestereve just to lighten the load for tomorrow.
I enjoyed living on my own for this month, but I realized that I'm not as much a loner as I thought I was (or wanted to be). I found it more difficult to be productive in Jade's appartment by myself. For some reason it's easier at the school, even if I know there's noone else there. And for all intents and purposes, practice rooms are isolated, so I don't really have an excuse, but ya, that's just the way things are.

In other news, I played for the professional company this morning and I don't think it could reasonably have gone better. After the first exercise, the teacher pointed out how lucky they were to have me there because I outlined the phrases so clearly. She gave out a few compliments to me during the class, and I ended up feeling like I was back in that awkward stage of growing up:
-the stage where you long so much to feel validated, so when you actually are, you overcompensate by pretending not to care-
I wasn't so bad as to ignore the comments, but I definately had to surpress that smile from ear to ear that I wanted to give out.
The class was also beautiful even just in the exercises themselves. These were all professional dancers who had spent the years in training building the movements and technique.
Anyway, the class was refreshing and an entirely positive experience.

So, I got a bit done on the composition last night, and I now have a lesson booked for thursday. It's later than I wanted to leave it, but I really can't be so picky.
I will be working every morning this week except for my lesson day on thursday. The contemporary dance company in town called and asked me to play for company classes this week. I am excited because this is a great opportunity. For as long as I've worked for the Ballet, people always have thought that I played for the actual ballerinas, and then they would mask the dissappointment when I told them I only played for children and students. For once, I will be playing for professional dancers. The work itself will not be any different, but the context will be. In a way, it's more intimidating... much more actually... and add to the situation that this will be the first time that the artistic director will actually be hearing me play, it's like an audition.
Anyway, I'm not going to think too much about it. Tonight Im going to practice at the school, I need to at least touch the Liszt, as I haven't in such a long time...hmm, maybe I should cancel my lesson and work thursday... but that would just be avoiding the situation.
I will also do some practice improv in the modern style tonight. I'll force myself to do different phrase structures... thats one of the hard things for me.. to play with phrases other than 8's.
So ya, enough talk, off I go!

I'll be sure to post about how tomorrow goes...
oh ya, and I'm only living at Binky's for 2 more days... I'm moving back home on tuesday. I'm going to miss my new cat friend.

So, I went to the casino with my sister and parents last night. Heather and I played the blackjacktable to practice up for Vegas! I did well and won a bunch of blackjacks right when I sat down. 3 in the first 8 hands! I went to the casino with nothing and left with 45 bucks... mind you my mother and sister both gave me 20 bucks to gamble with.. the moral is: it pays to be a poor student!
The funny thing was that there was the same cranky man at my table as was there when I went last time with Chris and Jason in the summer. He's still as cranky as ever, and he was lecturing me nonstop about the mistakes I was making by not playing according to standard technique or whatnot. Bastards.. there was also a lady making comments about how I was stupid.
They almost succeeded at ruining my fun, but of course they wouldn't actually be able to do that.... Anyway, I played for longer than anyone else in my family and I only actually put 20$ on the table, from there I was just playing off of winnings and that original money.
I'm gonna go back to the casino probably once more before I go to Vegas so that I can brush up on my (apparent lack of)skills.
Today was back to ballet day. Long days always feel longer after a holiday.
I think I'm going to practice piano tonight for a bit, after 6 or whatever hours of playing today, I don't think I will be able to physically practice for a long time, but I should aim to get a bunch accomplished.

Also, I can't get a comp lesson until thursday. It's a little distressing considering how little time I have to finish this piece, but I guess it gives me more time to get as much done as I can on my own. In theory, the more I have done on my own, the more I will get out of a lesson...

tought first day back

haha, not really, but I like complaining.
The bad part was the 9am lesson. In order to make it more tolerable, Chris and I went for back to school breakfast at 7:30 at the pancake house! yippee!
it was delicious, BUT pancakes fill me up soooo much and make me feel overfull the whole day, especially when I had them also for lunch...
Lesson went pretty well. David was understanding about the lack of practice time because of the building being locked. He was happy with the work I had done on the Bach and the Beethoven, and he mentioned that he wants my entire recital learned at tempo with the book by the end of the month... at least that gives me something to aim for.
There is still a lot of the Bach that I have yet to learn.. never mind get to tempo. Anyway, I have soo much time to devote to practicing now.. no more class on monday and wednesday, I have to change my composition lesson day to not-monday, that way I don't have class at all that day... but I do need to go to recitals, so maybe it would be best to keep it that way for now...give me some motivation to actually come to school.
My actual class today bored me to tears. The course, though, will have a fair bit of work this term... eep. Oh well, I can managae with only one course that requires homework.
Cantata was cancelled today and next week, always a good way to start off the year.
It was good to be back. I'm excited to get back into the swing of things soon enough!

Mmm, New Year's Day Dinner = yummy
also good is coming to St James while my parents were out and about today to practice. I also practiced for another hour and a half after dinner. I did o.k. with being efficient and productive with my time. I won't lie and say that I was good, but I revisited the Beethoven movements that I had been ignoring. They're not in great condition, but they're also not in terrible shape.

Now, I'm just waiting for my laundry to dry.
I'm listening to the slow movment of Beethoven's Archduke Trio. On David's advice, I've been listening to a fair bit of Beethoven's music ca op.100 to try and understand the slow movement of the sonata I'm playing. It's very slow and short and it's actually challenging my musicality.
Go here to read quite a good write up on the sonata itself. If you don't want to go, here's a short excerpt that I think describes the challenges ahead of me:
"The work’s wonderfully romantic opening movement has attracted many a would-be student but, time and again, the ensuing difficulties, both technical and musical, have deterred all but the most stout-hearted. To this day, it is regarded as one of the least accessible of Beethoven’s piano sonatas."
I am really enjoying learning the piece because of the challenges. Usually, my only challenges lie in the technical elements of pieces that I'm learning. Its wonderful to actually have to do something to understand/portray the musical and expressive elements of a piece.
Anyway, I won't blab on too much.
Tomorrow is my last day of not doing much. On wednesday the school is opened again and I will have to do lots of practicing that day as well as I have to take my scores to be bound for the UAlberta application.
Oh, when I get home tonight, I will have to do some serious work on the choral piece. I did have one day where I made a lot of progress, but that was not enough. I need more more more!

Happy New Year!

Overall it was a delightful evening. Hats off to David for hosting a very nice evening.
Food was good and the company was good!
Arrival was less than perfect... Finding the house on the end of the street, I needed to turn around to be parked the right way... I got stuck in the middle of the intersection. A few people tried to help me, but I said I was having fun, so they shouldn't worry. I ended up deciding that the only option was to park accross the street from his house... which made sense except for the fact that it was a fairly lofty snowbank. I backed up to get a running start, and plunged myself nicely into the snowbank - thinking it was logical that if I could get in easily, I should also be able to get out easily.
FastForward 7 hoursish to departure time, and we disprove that naieve little theory.
Hats off also to Chris for pushing me out and having patience. I had fun getting out of the snowbank, but I wasn't the one out pushing in the snow... THANK YOU SUNSHINE!
Touques off to Mother Nature for being pleasant temperature lately, although she went a little overboard with the snow.
It was funny earlier today to see the end of what must have been a rushed/frustrating attempt to budge someone's car. He has half in an intersection causing some fuss. There were a few people trying to push, unsuccesfully. In the end, there was a truck behind and he used his bumper to push the car into the intersection and into motion. Unfortunately it didn't look/sound like a damage free assistance, but people do what they have to do. It seems that fender-benders are commonplace in Winnipeg in the winter. It's silly that bumpers are made so finniky these days. Yes, they're safer in the smaller amount of cases where more is at risk (high speed collisions) but the majority of their use is in protecting from minor bumps and scrapes to the body of the car... it's frustrating when pulling a little to far forward or backwards can result in you having to replace a whole bumper at ca.1000$ish. I guess you can't put a price on the value of a life that can be saved... BUT you can put a large profit margin on the amount that autobody places yank in over the winter slippy-slidy season!
Anyway, it's a new year and it should be a good one.
Yuck to the fact that I only have three more days before school starts up again.. pretty much in full motion right away. I seem to recall my teacher saying that a recital should be prepared 2 months before the recital date... well that would be in just over three weeks from now.. so that's not looking too promising, but maybe if I set that as my goal, that little failure won't be so dissapointing, and it will prepare me better for a much more reasonable goal of one month before...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!